Matt, Erin, and returning guest Hunter Hammersen (of Tiny Nonsense) are here this week — and we dive straight into the joy of doing small, “impractical” things that make the world softer. Hunter talks about the sensory comfort and connection of knitting, why autistic joy matters, and how choosing authenticity over “palatable” professionalism changed her life.
We also get real about burnout, capitalism, and the audacity of charging what your work is worth — even (and especially) as a disabled creator.

We cover:

• Knitting as stim, sensory joy, and social scaffolding for autistic folks
• The power of breaking complex tasks into approachable steps — and why that’s an autistic super-skill
• Letting go of “normal better” and embracing your own autistic brilliance
• How valuing your work helps you create from abundance instead of exhaustion
• “Autism sparkling,” or being one step weirder on purpose to find your people
• Why tiny nonsense, like knitted acorns or handmade clocks, keeps us grounded in joy

Also: garlic bread vs. white bread as a metaphor for authenticity, the politics of good zippers, and why scissors that don’t snick properly are a personal betrayal.

Matt, Erin, and guest Becca Lory Hector are here this week — talking about what it means to rebuild your life after a late autism diagnosis, why “shoulds” are poison, and how self-compassion can literally save lives. Becca shares her story of getting identified at 36, how autism gave her the information she needed to stay alive, and what she’s learned about self-defined living along the way.
We cover:

• What happens when you finally get an autism diagnosis after decades of masking and burnout
• The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion — and why the latter matters more
• How internalized ableism and “shoulding” ourselves lead to depression and suicidality
• Redefining success for autistic people: comfort, safety, and authentic connection
• Becca’s book Always Bring Your Sunglasses and why honoring your sensory needs isn’t optional
• Her course Self-Defined Living and how it helps late-identified Autistics rebuild life on their own terms
  

Also: Mexican Coke supremacy, wearing pants on Zoom, the myth of “high functioning,” and why a good autism eval is as refreshing as an ice-cold Coke.

Smokescale meets what appears to be a small human, until the Dragon saw through the mask.

Matt and Erin are back this week talking about mixed-neurotype relationships — what happens when one partner learns they’re autistic, and the other isn’t. They get into the messy, funny, and very real ways brains collide (and connect) when communication styles, sensory experiences, and love languages don’t quite match up.
We cover:

• The shock of realizing your partner *does* (or *doesn’t*) have an internal monologue — and what that means for communication

• How masking, burnout, and unmasking impact long-term relationships
• Power balance and privilege in neurodivergent/neurotypical pairings
• The “mismatch of salience” — why autistic love languages (like reorganizing your library) often go unseen
• Learning to ask for help, name needs, and bridge the gap *from both sides*
• Why autistic euphoria and shared enthusiasm are relationship superpowers
• The Addams Family as the original model for healthy neurodivergent romance

Also: cat pictures, hyperphantasia vs. aphantasia, moral-failing eyeballs, and why holding someone’s purse at the roller coaster absolutely counts as love.

Matt, Erin, and guest Shawn Coots (creator of the webcomic "Future Emails") are here this week — and we get into the weirdness of algorithms, the curse of self-promotion, and the joy of making art just because it feels good. From time-traveling emails to the autistic creative process, this episode dives into why making things matters even when capitalism says it doesn’t.
We cover:

• Shawn’s webcomic *Future Emails* — time travel meets autistic processing and therapy homework
• The paradox of autistic self-promotion (and why “clear invitations” help)
• PDA profiles and autonomy — when “you should” hits the nervous system wrong
• AI “art,” capitalism, and the myth that nobody likes making music
• The difference between art as process vs. product
• Crows, Peacemaker, and the eternal vengeance of birds (yes, really)
• Sunburns, medieval plague masks, and SPF for sensory-sensitive folks

Also: nerdy tangents about Lego riverboats, opera rehearsal flow states, and why Matt might one day become a bobblehead.

Matt, Erin, and guest Dr. Stacey Greeter (psychiatrist and fellow autistic human) get real about the chaos of telling your doctor you’re autistic. From medical gaslighting to communication breakdowns, they unpack what happens when autistic patients meet a healthcare system built for everyone else.

We cover:

• When (and whether) to disclose autism to medical providers
• How medical invalidation creates trauma and avoidance
• Why pain scales and vague advice don’t work for autistic or chronically ill people
• The gender bias baked into medicine—and why we need more autistic and nonbinary clinicians
• Misinformation, disinformation, and shark boobs (yes, that’s a thing)

Also: rheumatology jokes, medical trauma bingo, and Erin’s new Autistic Clinical Insights conference for neurodiversity-affirming care.

Matt and Erin sit down with psychiatrist and fellow Autistic professional Dr. Stacy Greeter to talk about what it’s really like navigating healthcare — as both the patient and the provider. Together they unpack why medical systems feel so broken, how shame and burnout shape the doctor–patient dynamic, and what it takes to actually be heard when you’re Autistic and chronically ill.
We cover:

• The physical side of autism — fatigue, pain, and “meat body problems” doctors often overlook
• Why medical culture trains doctors to hide uncertainty and disconnect from compassion
• How to talk to healthcare providers when you know more about your body than they do
• The reality of insurance burnout, accessibility guilt, and trying to do good care in a broken system
• Tools that help, including the ASPIRE healthcare toolkit and practical communication scripts

Also: moral injury, firing bad doctors (when you can), and learning to protect your energy while still getting the care you need.

Matt, Erin, and guest Tiffany Hammond (of Fidgets and Fries and A Day With No Words) are here this week — and we dive into the Tylenol conspiracy circus, the politics of distraction, and why autistic advocacy has to push past dehumanizing narratives. We talk about balancing anger with connection, what happens when parents are left isolated in “severe autism” groups, and how telling stories with dignity changes the conversation.
We cover:

• The absurd scapegoating of Tylenol as “the cause” of autism
• How political smoke bombs distract from gutting Medicaid, Medicare, and education
• Why dehumanizing language (“low functioning,” “destroyers of lives”) harms both kids and parents
• The trap of socially “acceptable” suffering vs. authentic autistic needs
• Using stories instead of slogans to actually shift hearts, minds, and policies
• Tiffany’s book A Day With No Words and the family practices behind it

Also: fangirling, Peppa Pig echolalia, the Bachelor as cultural proof, and why “awareness” without action is just noise.

Matt and Erin dig into the everyday architecture of autistic life — routines, habits, systems, and the sacred chaos buffers that keep us from falling completely apart when the coffee runs out. They unpack why neurotypical “just make it a habit” advice fails us, how to tell the difference between Herculean and Sisyphean tasks, and why living well often means burning the rulebook (and maybe the lawn mower).

They cover:

• The fragility of “The Order” and how a missing step can nuke your whole day
• Menu vs. strict-sequence systems (and why both are valid)
• Externalizing executive function with whiteboards, magnets, and chaos-time planning
• Rejecting useless expectations (separating laundry by color, wearing socks, ironing, etc.)
• Sensory preferences as valid life-design choices
• Internalized ableism and the lie that you “should” try harder
• Settling for good enough, baby steps, and wobbling toward your goals

Also: Dino nuggies as the pinnacle of predictable joy, clover lawns for zero mowing, Peppa Pig house tours, and why Marie Kondo changed her tune after having kids.

Matt and Erin along with Kade Sharp, PhD, LCSW; Rachel Kraus LCSW-C; Stacy Greeter, MD; and Kat Flora, MA - all Autistic and all professionals, discuss the recent declaration that Tylenol causes autism. Spoiler alert! We disagree.

Matt and Erin are back for Part 2 of the identity conversation — diving straight into how to autistify your life so you can function in a world that was definitely not built with you in mind. From dismantling bad assessment practices to designing LEGO-level organizational systems, they get into the nitty-gritty of scaffolding your environment, your routines, and your relationships.

They cover:

• Why self-identification is valid, hard-earned, and not “everyone’s a little autistic”
• The RAADS-R, the CAT-Q, and the autistic joy of writing a dissertation-length personal history
• How allistic assessors dismiss self-reports — especially from women — and why that’s ableism in action
• The difference between recognition and recall (and why “you did it yesterday” is not a helpful reminder)
• Scaffolding as a survival tool: operational definitions, visual examples, step-by-step coaching
• The dopamine hit of a perfectly labeled LEGO bin system
• Why habits don’t stick, but systems and routines can save your sanity

Also: Cybertrucks vs. DeLoreans, Dan Harmon’s shelved Lego Batman 2, diesel locomotive small talk, and the Professor X method of finding every autistic in a three-mile radius.

Matt and Erin go full “autistic agenda” this week — planning breaks, managing meat-body needs, and calling out the diagnostic nonsense that’s been gatekeeping autism for decades. From James Gunn’s echolalia table moments to the staggering scarcity of autistic clinicians, they dismantle how bias, racism, sexism, and outdated stereotypes warp who gets diagnosed (and how).

They dig into:

• Why self-identification isn’t just valid — it’s essential
• The racist and sexist diagnostic “pipelines” that mislabel Black, brown, and female-presenting kids
• How bad assumptions (“girls can’t be autistic,” “autistics can’t have kids”) still show up in clinical settings
• The real differences between PDA, general demand avoidance, and ODD
• The need to factor lived experience — not just external checklists — into diagnosis
• Spoons, crash recovery, and why autistic professionals can’t (and shouldn’t) mask as neurotypicals to do the job

Also: sarcastic mule metaphors, Happy Meals as special interest currency, placenta previa as connective tissue trivia, and the stunning .00017% of professionals who are both autistic and legally qualified to diagnose.

Matt, Erin, and guest Hunter Hammersen go deep into why Murderbot Diaries is peak autistic representation—both in Martha Wells’ books and Apple TV’s adaptation. They compare notes on Murderbot’s layers of literal and figurative masking, its deep loyalty to a few trusted people, and its preference for fictional drama over real-life feelings.

They cover:

• Murderbot’s pronouns, agender identity, and the ongoing struggle to get them right

• Why supportive relationships (and other autistic friends) are the key to unmasking

• How eye contact, awkward speeches, and “patrolling the perimeter” all hit home for autistic viewers

• The socialist utopia planet that raises humans who actually try to meet Murderbot’s needs

• Special interests as friendship currency—and why Sanctuary Moon is the perfect one

Also: audiobook narrator hot takes, the perils of full-cast recordings, Alexander Skarsgård’s flawless autistic accent, and why every autistic person deserves their own Dr. Mensah.

Matt, Erin, and returning guest Dr. Kade Sharp tackle the messy intersections of self-knowledge, love, and trauma. They break down why RuPaul’s “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell [are] you gonna love somebody else?” isn’t the full story, how neglect can be invisible until you see what other people had, and why kids aren’t “too sensitive”—they’re exactly as sensitive as they are.

They dig into:

• Love vs. limerence vs. appeasement
• How developmental trauma warps our sense of safety and connection
• The difference between guilt (“I did bad”) and shame (“I am bad”)
• Why kindness can feel scarier than chaos if you grew up expecting bombs—literal or metaphorical
• Vulnerability, English’s terrible one-word problem, and redefining love as accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement

Also: Frozen’s autistic coding, sewing your pockets shut, Superman’s team dynamics, and what to do when someone hands you a muffin basket and you’re not sure if it’s a trap.

Links Mentioned:

• Autistic Clinical Insights ⁠www.autisticclinicalinsights.com⁠
• Aces Up Your Sleeve podcast ⁠www.neurokink.org/auys⁠
• Spectrum Counseling ⁠www.kadesharp.com⁠
• Neurokink ⁠www.neurokink.org

In this episode, we pull the lid off the “just two genders” box and set it on fire—politely, with data, and some Weird Al references. Matt, Erin, and guest Dr. Kade Sharp dig into:

• Why autistic folks are 6–9 times more likely to be trans
• How bottom-up processing makes “two boxes” thinking look absurd
• The messy overlap between gender, sex, and what the medical system forces people into
• Dysphoria, euphoria, and the “phantom uterus” moment
• Why community feels like home (even if you’ve never been there before)
• The exhaustion of masking both your neurotype and your gender
• Acceptance vs. belonging, and why safety changes everything

Also: Pedro Pascal, Noah’s Ark logistics, Girl Scouts in rural towns, and how to find your people without having to explain yourself every 30 seconds.

It’s gender, autism, and culture without the neat little boxes—because we don’t fit in them anyway.

This was a story I wrote for my son. It's largely biographical, and it's why we have presents delivered by The Christmas Dragon each year!

This is the legend of the Autistic people. It features a mighty warrior, a dragon, and people being forced to make small talk. Who will save them?!

A while back, I wrote some stories about dragons and the Autistic people. I recorded two of these stories on other podcasts, but now they're here, uninterrupted and free of commentary! Enjoy the Legends of Autistica!

In this episode, we dig into what autism actually looks like outside the narrow DSM lens—and how trauma, masking, and sensory life shape our identities and relationships. We call out the biases baked into the system and talk about what an autism-affirming perspective can look like in practice.

We also wander into some very real, very relatable territory about:

• Why “congratulations, you’re autistic” can be the most affirming diagnosis experience ever

• Stimming in all eight senses, from toe-curling in your shoes to rubbing your feet on sandpaper

• How bullet-point thinking, special interests, and fictional best friends change the way we communicate and connect

As always, it’s lived experience, blunt honesty, and a few nerdy detours—because that’s how we roll. We’re glad you’re here.

This week's episode, we’re diving headfirst into autistic identity—what it means, how it differs from a medical diagnosis, and why the DSM criteria kind of miss the point. We’re also calling out the neurotypical gatekeeping that makes getting a diagnosis way harder than it needs to be.
Here’s what we get into:

• Why you’re still autistic even if no doctor has “stamped” it
• How the DSM is loaded with ableism—and Matt’s affirming way to reframe it
• Echolalia, stimming, and our love of routines (yes, even Taylor Swift on repeat)
• Comic-Con vibes to Pedro Pascal as Mr. Fantastic

As always, it’s part theory, part lived experience, and a whole lot of geeky tangents—because we’re not here to fit into neurotypical boxes.