Do you ever wonder why the people who give you the biggest butterflies also leave you the most drained? That’s the trap of mistaking chaos for chemistry. In this episode of The Attachment Trap Podcast, therapist, coach, and author Tim Ervin takes you inside Chapter 10 of his book to explore nervous system compatibility, the difference between sparks that fizzle and love that actually lasts.
Through sitcom classics like Friends and The Office, Tim shows why Ross and Rachel’s rollercoaster romance isn’t love goals it’s adrenaline dressed up as attraction and why Jim and Pam’s slow-burn connection is the real blueprint for safety and capacity.
In this conversation, you’ll discover:
What nervous system compatibility really means (and why it outlasts chemistry).
Why those hot-and-cold dynamics feel so addictive and so exhausting.
How to recognize when someone’s nervous system is a match for yours.
Three practical tools to help you choose steady, safe connection over chaos.
If you’re tired of relationships that feel like cliffhangers, this episode will help you step off the rollercoaster and into a love that feels like home, steady, safe, and still full of laughter the tenth time around.