Being spiritual - being anything - isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real.

I used to smoke. I smoked because it gave me a bigger sense of control of what I could not control. 

Most days, I still want to smoke. I buy candy cigarettes now and pretend I’m smoking. So I give myself the nervous system regulation it needs - and none of what it doesn’t want. I also stop the subconscious from getting its fix while my nervous system gets a good laugh at my antics.

I work on allowing the need of external validation - of being liked (my reason for starting) and allow the subconscious to rewire itself. I work on receiving the guidance from my inner being - my higher self - to remind me that I am already whole, already enough, already abundant. 

No fixing. No judgment. No more denying myself the fullness of who I am - messy, tired, imperfect, funny, serious, light, dark - all of it. No f&cks given for what others may think.

Here I am. If I am going to be unapologetic - then let’s be unapologetic. If I’m going to be audacious, then let’s be audacious. If I am going to jump timelines - let’s jump already. If I believe you don’t need fixing, why do I feel I need fixing? If I am going to be the fullest, best version of me, then let’s be her. Here. Now. In the Mess. No hiding, full transparency.

It’s a choice we all get to make. Each of us is capable of making that one choice over and over again until it becomes our new set point. 

That I am enough - all by myself. That I am worthy of love and success - even if I have a candy cigarette in my mouth.

Being real. Not Perfect.