In this heartfelt episode of The 12th Step Podcast, the hosts read a letter from a listener who’s grappling with confusion and fear about a possible sex addiction. Together, they dive deep into the difficult questions: How do you know when sexual behavior crosses the line into addiction? Why aren’t medications alone the solution? And what does “sobriety” really mean for someone in recovery from sex addiction, especially when total abstinence isn’t realistic? With honesty, empathy, and lived experience, the team explores how addiction isn’t just about the behavior, it’s about the pain beneath it. They discuss how recovery is about connection, healing, and redefining intimacy in a healthy way. Whether you’re personally struggling or just curious about the topic, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and hope for anyone trying to understand what true recovery looks like beyond shame and silence.

Author and listener Tera Lynch makes a powerful return to the podcast to tackle two incredibly difficult topics she submitted herself. This week, we dive into the profound shame betrayed partners experience when they keep the secret, the painful isolation that comes from keeping quiet. We’ll also examine the pervasive sexualization of everything in society and its devastating impact on a partner’s sense of self and relationship. Join us for this candid, crucial conversation that brings the unsung struggles of the betrayed partner into the light.

This week, a familiar name joins us as a guest! We’re honored to welcome Tera Lynch, an author, listener of the show, and Betrayed Partner who found her voice through recovery. Tera shares the incredible and difficult journey that led her to write her book, exploring the raw shame and pain she experienced, and how she moved past the victim role. She’s turned the tough questions she sent to the show into a powerful message of healing. Don’t miss this deeply personal and transformative conversation.

In one of the most heartfelt letters we’ve received, listener H writes about the crushing reality of losing nearly everything to sexual addiction—career, family, friendships, and a sense of home. The weight of shame, regret, and emptiness can make it feel impossible to even imagine recovery, let alone begin rebuilding a life. In this deeply compassionate episode, we address the raw question: Where do you start when addiction has stripped away nearly everything? We’ll talk about the first small steps toward sobriety, why hope matters even when you can’t feel it, and how trust, relationships, and stability can slowly be rebuilt—one honest, courageous choice at a time. This conversation is for anyone who feels too far gone or beyond repair. You are not alone, and there is a path forward, even from the darkest places.

In this episode, we tackle one of the most misunderstood and isolating forms of addiction, sexual addiction. Listener Richard asks a brave and important question: How do you approach recovery when the addiction itself is tied to shame, secrecy, and confusion? We dive into the unique challenges that come with this struggle, why secrecy keeps the cycle alive, how shame distorts self-worth, and what real healing looks like beyond white-knuckling abstinence. Through honest conversation, we explore practical tools for breaking isolation, building accountability, and cultivating healthy intimacy and connection. Join us as we shine light into one of recovery’s darkest corners and remind each other that no matter the addiction, healing begins when we choose honesty, community, and compassion over silence.

In this deeply personal and powerful episode, we explore one of the hardest parts of recovery, making amends after the devastation of sexual addiction. When lies, secrecy, and betrayal shatter trust, the pain ripples far beyond the person in recovery, impacting partners, families, and friends. How do you begin to rebuild after that kind of wreckage? What does a healthy amends look like when the people you’ve hurt may not be ready—or ever willing—to forgive? Inspired by a heartfelt letter from a listener named Garrett, we dive into the emotional and spiritual process of accountability, repair, and healing. Join us as we discuss the difference between guilt and responsibility, how to approach amends with humility and patience, and why true healing often starts with giving others the space to heal in their own time. This conversation isn’t about quick fixes, it’s about courage, honesty, and the long, compassionate road toward redemption.

In this powerful episode of the 12th Step Podcast, we’re joined by special guest Therapist Colby to explore the transformative practice of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Learn how IFS helps us understand the different ”parts” within ourselves — and how that awareness can lead to deep healing, especially in recovery. Colby even guides Gary through a brief demo to show how the process works in real time. Whether you’re on a recovery journey or seeking emotional clarity, this episode offers a fresh and compassionate approach to healing from the inside out.

On this episode of the 12th Step Podcast, we’re joined by therapist Colby to explore the often-overlooked experiences of betrayed partners. Together, they address listener questions such as:     •    How can you prevent a caring partner from slipping into indifference?     •    Do you realize your spouse is reliving every shared moment to question its authenticity? This candid conversation shines a light on the emotional weight betrayal creates—and how awareness, honesty, and real change can help partners begin to heal.

On this episode of the 12th Step Podcast, we’re joined by therapist Colby to tackle some tough but important listener questions:     1.    What happens to a spouse when they see their partner only taking half measures in recovery?     2.    Are you a tourist in recovery—just visiting but not truly living it?     3.    Are you working the 12 steps for yourself or only to save your marriage—and why the latter will never last? Join us for an honest conversation about what real recovery requires, the impact half-hearted efforts have on loved ones, and how true transformation starts with doing the work for yourself.

On this episode of the 12th Step Podcast, Steven shares a heartfelt listener email about navigating the chaos of addiction, recovery, work, and family. In his message, Steven admits how often he’s tried to bargain with chaos—hoping for just a little peace or balance—only to realize that chaos doesn’t make deals. Through his journey, he’s discovering that balance isn’t found in control but in surrender, humility, and faith in a Higher Power. Tune in as we reflect on Steven’s powerful words and invite you to share your own insights: How do you find balance in the middle of life’s storms?

Tune in to this episode as we hear from a listener who’s one year into recovery—committed, attending meetings, and working with a sponsor—but still struggling to connect with the 12 steps. For this neurodivergent individual, the structure of the program often feels more like pressure than support. While their sponsor, therapist, and spouse all believe in the process, they’re left wondering if it truly fits their needs. We dive into an important question: What happens when the traditional path doesn’t feel like your path? Can you still grow in recovery by doing things differently? And how do you honor your own truth while managing the expectations of those around you?

After the chaos subsides and the big milestones are behind us, what comes next? In this episode, we hear from Kevin, who’s seven years sober and thriving in his family life—yet feeling the quiet pull of complacency. Together, we explore what it means to keep growing when the emergencies are over, the structure softens, and the old demons aren’t banging at the door. Join us as we discuss strategies to reignite your sense of purpose, cultivate new forms of spiritual and personal growth, and avoid the drift into stagnation. Because recovery isn’t just about surviving addiction—it’s about discovering how to truly live.

Recovery is anything but static—it’s dynamic, personal, and constantly evolving. In this episode, we open up about where we are right now in our individual recovery journeys. From early breakthroughs to deeper emotional work, each of us brings different tools to the table depending on our current stage. Tune in as we share what’s working for us, how our needs have changed over time, and why recovery is never one-size-fits-all. Whether you’re just beginning or well along the path, there’s something here for every step of the journey.

Change isn’t easy—and recovery even less so. In this episode, we dive deep into the uncomfortable truth that sacrifice is often the price of progress. Whether you’re navigating personal transformation, healing from past wounds, or breaking free from destructive cycles, giving something up is often the first step forward. Join us as we explore what it really means to let go, why it’s necessary, and how sacrifice can become the foundation for lasting growth and recovery.

As promised, if we ever found the recording Daniel lost, we would put them out for you to here. Well great news is Daniel found them and here is the final of three lost episodes. In this episode, we reflect on a profound quote shared by a listener: “The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.” What does it mean to seek wholeness in all the wrong places? How does addiction become a misguided spiritual quest—and what happens when we begin to recognize the deeper hunger underneath? Drawing on Carl Jung’s insights and personal stories from recovery, we explore how acting out can falsely imitate connection, intimacy, or even divinity. We also talk about how real spiritual fulfillment—found through self-love, community, and the 12 Steps—can take the place of that desperate search. Join us for an honest, hopeful discussion on longing, God, and the journey toward true wholeness.

As promised, if we ever found the recording Daniel lost, we would put them out for you to here. Well great news is Daniel found them and here is the second of three lost episodes. In this deeply personal episode, we explore the intersection of recovery and divorce, inspired by a listener’s powerful message and request to hear more about Daniel’s story. What does it look like to rebuild after a marriage ends in the midst of healing? How do we navigate feelings of anger, grief, and loss while staying committed to recovery? Daniel opens up about his journey through divorce, the challenges he faced, and the lessons he continues to learn. We discuss what it means to do the next right thing, how to find peace when relationships fall apart, and how humility plays a role in forging a new path forward.

As promised, if we ever found the recording Daniel lost, we would put them out for you to here. Well great news is Daniel found them and here is the first of three lost episodes. In this episode, the team dives into the challenges of black-and-white thinking and how it can deeply impact the recovery journey. Inspired by a listener email, we explore how the all-or-nothing mindset—“I’m either doing great or I’m a failure”—can keep us stuck in cycles of shame, guilt, and self-doubt. We share personal experiences, practical insights, and strategies for embracing the messy middle of growth. Whether you’re in recovery or just trying to break free from rigid thinking, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we respond to a deeply thoughtful message from listener Zack, who opens up about the struggle many of us face in recovery—navigating the temptations and distractions of smartphone use while still needing to stay connected for work and life. We explore the challenges of living in a hyper-connected world where one device can be both a tool and a trap. The team shares practical tools, software options, and personal experiences for setting healthy boundaries with technology. We also dive into the importance of intentionality, accountability, and staying honest about the digital triggers that can quietly undermine recovery. Plus, we revisit a listener favorite—Isaac’s powerful story—and discuss the idea of inviting more voices from local 12 Step groups and Sage into future episodes. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in an endless scroll, tempted by online escapes, or unsure how to strike balance with your phone, this one’s for you.

Why do we so easily fall into self-pity—and why does it feel so familiar to those of us in addiction recovery? In this episode, we respond to a powerful question from listener Shloimy about the role of self-pity in our lives: what pulls us into it, what it costs us, and how we can step out of it. The team opens up about their own experiences with self-pity, how it masquerades as comfort but often isolates us further, and the practical tools they’ve found that help shift perspective—from gratitude to service to honest connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the loop of “poor me,” this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we reflect on a profound quote shared by a listener: “The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.” What does it mean to seek wholeness in all the wrong places? How does addiction become a misguided spiritual quest—and what happens when we begin to recognize the deeper hunger underneath? Drawing on Carl Jung’s insights and personal stories from recovery, we explore how acting out can falsely imitate connection, intimacy, or even divinity. We also talk about how real spiritual fulfillment—found through self-love, community, and the 12 Steps—can take the place of that desperate search. Join us for an honest, hopeful discussion on longing, God, and the journey toward true wholeness.