In this week's episode, Dr. Shaw picks up where she left off in the last episode by continuing to discuss how to release the negativity in many of our interactions.  Specifically, she looks at how we use certain words and hold their definitions as inherently negative... words like punishment or mistake or disappointment.   She also discusses how when we praise someone, particularly our children, and our praise is insincere, what are we teaching our children and ourselves?   She uses some concrete examples of how this works and what better strategies might be, including being sincere and going one step further by being specific.   And regarding the negative words, Dr. Shaw questions why we have such trouble agreeing to disagree and not putting blame on anyone since "blame" carries its own negative thread as a word.   Then, with the word "disappointment" in the forefront, she explains how to turn a situation where your child is disappointed.  She recommends honoring the disappointment and then putting your energy into positive movement away from the negative.   

In this brief but direct episode, Dr. Shaw reiterates one of her favorite themes and that is to not be the cause of your own suffering.  Often when we are disappointed, we accept the outcome.  Instead, she recommends that when you encounter a response to something that runs counter to the result you want, look at the situation as an invitation to let go of your attachments and explore another avenue.  That exploration can be exciting and inspiring, and is far better than the negativity of disappointment.

In this episode Dr. Shaw takes a look at our lives that are filled with excuses, and those excuses are born out of our preferences.  She admits that she is always assigning meaning to things, and she wonders aloud what life would be like without our preferences.  She uses a friend and her daughter as an illustrative example... the friend's daughter says she has a condition that makes her behave in a certain way, and that may very well be, but having a condition doesn't (or shouldn't) permit someone to be disrespectful or act in another anti-social way.  Yes, people might have a disability or labeled conditions... Dr. Shaw likes to call that being "differently abled"... but that different ability doesn't prevent someone from being successful in the world.  There is a different between learned behavior and behavior guided by a condition.  To have our children grow up to be respectful, that has to be taught, and if we have a condition, we have to learn how to navigate the world and have the self worth to do so.  Don't allow your "label" dictate how you are in the world, especially if that label is not in your best interest.

In this episode, Dr. Shaw begins by describing a scenario in which a teen or an adolescent is being provocative and looking to bait you into a fight.  When you are baited in this manner, the way you stop yourself from over-reacting or reacting too quickly, she recommends that you pause and ask yourself, "Does this serve me?"   The answer is probably not because you don't want to answer confrontation with more confrontation.  At the same time, never responding doesn't provide anyone with closure or a learning lesson.  Dr. Shaw's recommendation is that, later, when there is a peaceful moment, you reflect and discuss what happened earlier.  If you change the way you respond to someone in a situation like this, there needs to be a time when it's discussed, and NOT in the moment of provocation.  We need to stop our habitual responses when they don't serve us anymore.

In this personal episode, Dr. Shaw shares the tale of a recent family vacation that taught here a lesson or two.  One of the key things learned from this experience was that a family dynamic is infinitely better when everyone is on board so to speak.  If someone doesn't want to be there or doesn't pull their weight whatever that happens to be, it upsets the entire dynamic and forces others to do an unfair share.  During Dr. Shaw's family vacation, she witnessed a perfect sharing of responsibilities and a shared desire to make the most of the experience.  While it was a winning personal moment for her, the story and the lessons can be useful to all.

In this brief episode, Dr. Shaw explores what it really means to ask for what we want in life.  She begins with some clear and simple examples of what it's like to ask for what we need, and more importantly, she points out that we need to be prepared for the consequence of not getting what we ask for.  She shares that personally, she didn't ask her family for anything growing up because she was too concerned that it would be hurtful to be rejected.  We also manifest what we expect... if we don't have a high expectation for ourselves, we won't reach the heights that we might truly want.  Also, with our children, we need to not only teach them to strive for what they want, but it's also important for them to know that even when you ask for something, you may not get it, and there is learning in that process.   Asking, however, is the place the process must begin.

In this brief but fascinating episode, Dr. Shaw examines what happens when we experience fear in a social situation.   She begins by sharing that when she personally feels the most amount of fear, that's when she needs to have the most control... and when she's not afraid she needs the least control.  She feels that it's a natural tendency for all of us, and she shares some real life examples of how and why that occurs.  She also discusses how we can monitor ourselves and stop and note our behavior and stop acting habitually.

In this somewhat pointed podcast, Dr. Shaw addresses the questions she's been receiving lately about allowing children an abundance or an over-abundance of "screen time."   Our kids are on iPads and cell phones and computers and other gadgets, and precisely because they are provided these devices, they are taught by us rely on them... we must teach our children what we want them to learn.

In this episode, Dr. Shaw takes a quick look at how it plays out when a relationship is perhaps coming to an end.  She begins by sharing some advice that she had shared with friends of hers who were struggling in their relationship.  She leans of personal experience in order to lay the ground work for recognizing that sometimes relationships simply have an expiration date, and when we force a relationship to last longer than it should, it does more damage than good.  If we can assign and honor the best possible point of view of the relationship's history and de-tangle the relationship by taking the high road, that's a great way to transform the relationship into the future.  

Dr. Shaw begins by outlining her motivation for creating this particular podcast, and that rationale is to examine how we are when we feel our feelings.  It begins with the fact that we are taught from a very early age that we should have only happy feelings and that life is filled with happy endings.  Dr. Shaw feels that it's wrong action to think that way, and that what we need to strive for is the realization that feelings come and go.   She encourages a type of neutrality or objectivity about feelings.  Yes, it can feel better to be happy, but we should also not feel sad or shameful or vulnerable when we have a so-called negative feeling.... those are real feelings.  The goal she encourages for herself and for others is to have contentment in life.   Sometimes we have bad or ordinary moments... sometimes we have wonderful peak experiences... it's ALL ok... it's just the human condition.

In this brief episode, Dr. Shaw examines the emotional rollercoaster that can occur when we respond negatively to a situation.   Her world view incorporates the notion that nothing is simply one way... there are (at least) two sides to everything... and that it's important that we teach that approach to our children.   Our children can often face disappointments, but they need to understand, even at a young age, that the negative situation shall pass.  This is not to negate feeling a negative emotion, but the fact is that when, for example we get bad news, the immediate feeling of negativity actually discharges the energy of that negativity and that discharge allows us to move on with a more positive point of view.  

In this very brief but energized episode, Dr. Shaw uses a personal story and experience to once again illustrate that our children are listening to us, even when we think they are not. Her story is a cute one revealing her passion for saving 5-dollar bills.  As it happens, a youngster around age 7 heard her talk about her strong belief in saving 5's, and he is now doing the same thing.  Why?  Because our children do listen and respond to what they hear.  If you are impatient and swearing in traffic and your children are in the car, they are hearing you.   If you are gossiping or speaking negatively about someone and they are with you, they are picking up your bad habit of gossip and negativity.   As Dr. Shaw ALWAYS says, be present and be aware.

In this very personal episode, Dr. Shaw examines what happens when we have a negative reaction.  She shares a situation when she experienced a moment of internal panic.  She points out that the moment passed quickly, and that occurred because she let the emotions flow.  The negativity was discharged by simply letting it go.  A major strategy that allowed the moment to pass was that she allowed herself to fully react without suppressing the feelings.  Because the emotions were turned loose, they didn't linger and fester.  When parenting, it's important to have our children's feelings be allowed to come out for the same reason.  There are ways to have "the crazies" come out in a productive and not a destructive way.  Another important strategy to get through a negative situation is self-observation because watching ourselves gives us the power to overcome the negativity.  

In this important episode, Dr. Shaw tackles the feeling of FEAR and how it can impact our reactions and take us down a road that's not in our best interest.   She begins with her own personal point of view by saying, "Everything that limits me comes from fear."   People have all sorts of fears, and those fears only promote negativity.  Dr. Shaw goes on to describe a fear-filled reaction and then suggests putting a strategy in place in order to get past it.  She also uses a personal story as an illustrative example.  She also explains how to demonstrate and pass this philosophy along to our children including lessons of how to be resilient and not give up too easily.   It's all about observing ourselves and understanding our reactions, and also understanding when life presents a simple learning lesson and when it's something bigger than that.

In this episode, Dr. Shaw passionately examines the concept and the saying that TIMING IS EVERYTHING.   She begins by pointing that this is a concept that might be difficult for children to wrap their heads around.  She then continues by sharing examples of how sometimes adults express regret or a sense of missed opportunity when reviewing certain incidents in their lives.  Meanwhile, the reality is that we all have to go through everything that we go through in order to arrive at where we are now.   If you've reached the point where you are living your best life, you should have gratitude and not regret.  Appreciate your learning lessons, and with our children, when they feel disappointment, explain to them that these moments serve a purpose.  

In this brief but insightful episode, Dr. Shaw examines the ways in which we can create more stress than necessary with those who are the closest to us, especially when we live with someone.  What happens is that rather than take a deep breath and let it pass when something stressful happens, we can often have a tendency to bring our own baggage to the relationship and elevate the stress of the situation in a way that really could have been avoided.  The most important strategy is to simply not take any one moment too seriously.  Yes, there are some people in our lives who are such quality people that time spent with them is automatically fulfilling... but the work is in exercising the muscle of restraint and not to over-react. 

In this episode, Dr. Shaw re-visits one of her favorite topics and that is how to avoid being the cause of your own suffering.  At first, one might think "how am I the cause of my own suffering?" but Dr. Shaw walks us through some clear and simple examples of how our own quick over-reactions can lead us down a path where we meet failure instead of success.  It's really another sign that how we show up is what matters.  The facts and events of our lives are what they are, but it's how we address what happens that makes all the difference.  Later in the podcast, Dr. Shaw points to a parenting application for this same topic.   

In this brief but insightful podcast, Dr. Shaw examines some simple ways to improve communication with others, especially others that have a different point of view.  She offers clear advice to ways to communicate that avoid bullying or accusations.  When we make each other wrong, that doesn't create peace, it creates a battle.  When we have respect for other opinions than our own, that makes peace.   We need to know when to speak, when to listen and when to agree to disagree.

In this brief but insightful episode, Dr. Shaw discusses how to be energy efficient when it comes to speaking with others.  We are not going to speak the same with long-time close friends as we would with casual acquaintances.  If you're observing a situation and knowing your audience, you will end up behaving and reacting the way the situation dictates... and that's not being insincere... it's just reality.  Knowing when to stay silent, even when you have a lot to say, it's a practice of discernment.   When teaching, Dr. Shaw always discouraged tattling as when a child tattles, they are focused on the negative and not the positive.  If you are communicating with someone, you need to notice how receptive the other person is.  If you are both open and receptive you will have an honest exchange.   If you can't say what you want to say, it may just be not the right time to share it.  You can agree to disagree... or you can remain open to learning from the other person.  In turn, teaching your children how to navigate difficult moments in conversation would be very helpful in their growth and learning.  If we can economize our words, we will be better communicators.

In this brief but fascinating episode, Dr. Shaw shares a checklist of things you can do to feel good about yourself on a daily basis.  Her list includes: - Volunteer your time for a cause - Connect with nature - Compliment somebody - Express your creativity .....and more.    Show yourself that you matter, and the rest shall follow.