Join us for a rousing and stimulating conversation about the magic and myths of masturbation! For this episode we are in conversation with psychologist and professor Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons and Danielle Bezalel, host of the podcast SexEdWithDb to talk about The Magic Wand Study. This study confirms what many of us know deep in our bodies – that masturbation is a vital part of wellness and self care. The documented benefits range from improved sleep to decreased pain, more confidence and less anxiety, and even deeper connection with romantic partners and increased performance at work – all with no negative side effects! Tune in for a passionate conversation about what the Magic Wand Study revealed about the benefits of solo play and be inspired to take your pleasure into your own hands!



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Continue the Conversation With More Pleasure Mechanics Podcast Episodes




* Episode #287: Why You Masturbate They Way You Do – A History Lesson



* Episode 392: Mindful Masturbation



* Episode 412: The Masturbatory Assist

Many people report having the best sexual experiences while on vacation – but you don’t have to wait for an expensive vacation to enjoy all the benefits of Vacation Sex! In this episode, we unpack the essential elements of VacationSex and propose a plan to bring the pleasures home by planning more sexy staycations! From a long afternoon while the kids are at school to a whole weekend exploring new pleasures, you can choose to dedicate more time and space to enjoying mini staycations, and this podcast episode shows you how.



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* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



* Our favorite leather toys for staycation play come from Agreeable Agony – our favorites include the beginner rope set, cute pourable pitchers of warm wax, and this beautiful customizable flogger! Use the code PLEASURE_MECHANICS for a 5% discount on your whole order!

Primal play is a realm many of us crave, but rarely talk about. What does it mean to “go primal” or “become primal” or “play primal” like so many of us say we want? What do we really crave when we talk about primal play? In this episode, we dive into the wild realm of primal erotic expression and share strategies for giving ourselves permission to get more free.



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsors:




* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



* Our favorite leather toys for primal play come from Agreeable Agony – our favorites include the beginner rope set, cute pourable pitchers of warm wax, and this beautiful customizable flogger! Use the code PLEASURE_MECHANICS for a 5% discount on your whole order!

What is Taboo to You? Where do Taboos come from and how do they function in your erotic imagination?



Even the word “taboo” has a fascinating cultural history to explore!



Join us on this free podcast episode to explore the thrills of transgressing taboos, discovering what happens when we speak the unspeakable, find connection rather than shame, demystify and remystify the erotic, and perhaps even restore sacred respect to what has been blasphemed.



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsors:




* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



* Our favorite tools for Service Topping come from Agreeable Agony – our favorites include the beginner rope set, cute pourable pitchers of warm wax, and this beautiful customizable flogger! Use the code PLEASURE_MECHANICS for a 5% discount on your whole order!




Taboo & You was also a topic for our 12th Pleasure Salon, held at Unicorn Bar in Kingston NY! Here are some quotes we pondered as we tackled this conversation as a community! Live nearby or want to travel to spend time with us? Check out our Pleasure Mechanics Events page for all upcoming Pleasure Salons, kink workshops & erotic immersions!




taboo(adj.) also tabu”consecrated, inviolable, forbidden, unclean or cursed; prohibited to a certain class,” explained in some English sources as being from Tongan ta-bu “sacred,” from ta “mark” + bu “especially.” ~ Etymonline



The type of fig leaf which each culture employs to cover its social taboos offers a twofold description of its morality. It reveals that certain unacknowledged behavior exists and it suggests the form that such behavior takes. ~Freda Adler



The trickster’s function is to break taboos, create mischief, stir things up. In the end, the trickster gives people what they really want, some sort of freedom. ~ Tom Robbins

Service Topping is a verb – one we can ALL flex as a way to pleasure and lavish the people we care about! Service Topping is all about giving FOR the pleasure of the recipient, focusing all of the attention and intention on the needs, wants and desires of the recipient. Service Topping can include many acts – from massage to penetration, from foot massage to community organizing – and we can ALL choose to orient more of our attention and care towards the benefits of others, in an out of the bedroom!



Join us for the free podcast episode to explore Service Topping, and how we can all activate our ability to give more deeply – while also asking to receive acts of Service Topping to meet our OWN needs, wants and desires! Circle of Care, Activate!



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsors:




* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



* Our favorite tools for Service Topping come from Agreeable Agony – our favorites include the beginner rope set, cute pourable pitchers of warm wax, and this beautiful customizable flogger! Use the code PLEASURE_MECHANICS for a 5% discount on your whole order!

In this encore episode, we share the Dual Control Model of Arousal, an essential piece of erotic knowledge to understand the complexity of turn-ons, turn-offs, and how to manage your own arousal.



Explore more at PleasureMechanics.com/arousal



Spotify Playlist of the Best of Speaking Of Sex Episodes



Get ready to rethink everything you know about getting turned on – and what is really holding you back from enjoying more sex.



Love the podcast? Ready for more?



Join The Pleasure Pod & Get The Interactive Worksheet & More of the Best of Pleasure Mechanics!



Developed in the 1990’s at the Kinsey Institute by Erick Janssen and John Bancroft and explored in Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are, the Dual Control Model of Arousal is a framework to understand the very complicated nature of human arousal and sexual excitation.



For anyone new to this theory, also check out our interviews with Emily Nagoski about the dual control model of arousal (and SO much more!) in podcast episodes 79 and 80.



When you embrace the dual control model of arousal, it puts you in the driver’s seat. You can learn to manage your turn ons and turn offs to create a more arousing erotic experience every time. As Nagoski says, you can learn to “turn on your turn ons and turn off your turn offs!”



Your turn ons are the gas pedal for your arousal. Your turn offs are the inhibitions that slam the brakes on your arousal. Most people focus on adding more gas – but this won’t work if your foot is slammed on the brake!



Both the Sexual Excitation System (the gas) and the Sexual Inhibition System (the brakes) respond to all sensual stimuli, your thoughts, fantasies and emotions. That means essentially EVERYTHING going on in your life will influence how easy or difficult it is to get turned on. Common inhibitions include stress, resent, guilt, shame and everyday distractions like laundry in the corner. Sensitive brake, no matter how strong the accelerator, is strongest predictor of sexual problems of all kinds. Learn what your specific inhibitions are and you can more easily manage them, paving the way for more arousal and a better sexual connection. You can also learn how to avoid “arousal contingency,” a common condition where everything must be “just perfect” before you allow yourself to get aroused. Arousal contingency is a big problem for a lot of people, but it can be overcome with the right mindset.



In this podcast, we share with you the dual control model of arousal and guide you in learning how to manage your sexual experience. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to arise, you can actively design your life to be more conducive to getting aroused. You can minimize distractions, eliminate active turn offs and add in more of what works for you!

Considering having a threesome? Tune in here first! On this episode we share what we’ve learned about how to have a threesome from our recent threesome experiences, and share a classic resource from the Pleasure Mechanics archive – click here to download our book How To Have A Threesome, for free!



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* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off




In 2014, we put together all of our best advice into an ebook which we called How To Have A Threesome. We self-published this resource and sold thousands of copies on Amazon and to our own community. Now, it is available for free – our gift to you. Download here.

What does it mean to have really good bed chem? Is sexual chemistry something that happens to us, or can we learn to be erotic alchemists? What happens when good bed chem fizzles out? Join us in this episode for a provocative and engaging conversation about Bed Chem – and how we can all get more active in the lab!



Thanks to our episode sponsor, SoakingWet! Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



Enroll in our free online course and get our best resources straight to your inbox.



Thanks to Sabrina Carpenter’s pop anthem Bed Chem for inspiring the conversation that inspired this episode!

Full Body Oral is an invitation to start exploring more oral play – on EVERY part of the body! Full Body Oral is a reminder that we can create so many different sensations with our mouths, adding depth of stimulation, unlocking emotions and intimacy, and adding new dynamics to the kinds of play you already enjoy!



Full Body Oral is one practice we cover in our online course on Oral – an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for all bodies (and all of our bodies!) – get 69% off the oral course here!



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor




* Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off




“I am writing to say an unexpected THANK YOU. When my husband told me he had enrolled us in your online Oral course, at first I was confused, because I always thought he enjoyed the blowjobs I give him. But I know he has really gotten a lot out of your podcast over the past year or two, so I thought I’d give it a try. We were both blown away by the depth and usefulness of what we found there. But the biggest surprise was the invitation into Full Body Oral – prompted by the course we started exploring using our mouths more like in general, not just for kissing and oral. And I have to say, I am amazed how much has opened up. We have both found a few places and ways of kissing one another that are like electric hot spots of arousal. I was also able to admit to some of my own “icks” and that felt like letting out a long held tension. Our oral sex has benefitted to, but what I really wanted to take the time to say thank you about is the expansive ways you approach these topics – we both send thanks for this course – it made a difference.”

Let’s bust the myths around the refractory period that self-limit so many of our erotic experiences.



Join us for this myth-busting episode where we cover the basics and beyond of the refractory period and all the myths about it that get in our way. Learn how: Ejaculation and Orgasm are NOT the same physiological event, and Ejaculation does NOT have to result in a refractory period! In addition, experiencing a refractory period does NOT have to be the end of that sexual encounter!



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor




* JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order!



* Train Your Touch & Uplevel Your Sexual Skills in our Foreplay Mastery Online Course




Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes:




* Afterglow



* Expanding Erotic Horizons

Want to last longer in bed so you can keep the pleasure going longer? Want to satisfy your partner and offer the kind of endurance they crave? You are not alone! We get a ton of emails from people wanting to make sex last longer and experience more satisfying intercourse.



This Best Of Episode is full of strategies and techniques to support you in lasting longer in bed and having the stamina you want.




* JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order!



* Train your touch and level up your skills with our bestselling online course Foreplay Mastery




Share your wins, aha! moments or questions for future episodes by leaving us a voicemail at PleasureMechanics.com/hello

Here’s how to last longer, go harder and enjoy MORE of the pleasures you enjoy.



Stamina is as much about sustained focus and managing distractions as it is an athletic feat, and the skills of stamina can be built with practice! This episode offers practical strategies for building your stamina for life’s greatest pleasures, in and out of bed!



Big thanks to our sponsor for this episode!




* JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order!




Train Your Touch & Expand Your Erotic Horizons : Enroll in our online erotic touch training and master the art of foreplay!







Continue The Conversation With More Speaking of Sex Episodes




* Getting Off Script



* Getting The Touch You Want

How we offer and give our time, gifts and attention matter in all of our relationships. And when we cultivate the skillset of becoming responsive givers of erotic pleasure we are able to offer our lovers more specifically what they want and enjoy and can then offer more sexually satisfying experiences to our lovers.



In this podcast episode we cover what we can train ourselves to payattention to in order to become more responsive givers. And when weare receivers of pleasure, how do we practice authenticallycommunicating what feels good to us instead of exaggerating ourpleasure. This way we can give genuine information to our lovers thatallow them to be responsive to our authentic pleasure so they canlearn specifically what builds our pleasure and sexual satisfaction.



However you currently experience your skillset of giving pleasure,cultivating your responsive giving skills can create more satisfyingand pleasurable experiences with your lover in bed as well as in yourother relationships outside of the bedroom.



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Find discounts and offers from all of our sponsors at PleasureMechanics.com/Toolbox



Soaking Wet probiotic supplements use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes




* Episode 388: Before Pleasure Comes Safety

How do you like it – Tough, or Tender? For many of us, what we truly crave is an exquisite blend of Tough & Tender, Rough & Romantic, Intense & Intimate. Tough & Tender don’t have to be opposite ends of a spectrum or mutually exclusive – we can revel in the delicious combinations of erotic energies, types of touch, relational styles and love languages. True satisfaction can only be found when we get real about the true complexity of what we crave!



Thanks to Our Episode Sponsor:



Find discounts and offers from all of our sponsors at PleasureMechanics.com/Toolbox



Soaking Wet probiotic supplements use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



In this episode we unpack how we can each choose to notice and exploreour own relationship to tough and tender erotic play. We look at wherewe may limit our own erotic expression because of our self-permissionand habits, and invite us to notice which end of the range of tough totender erotic play may feel more vulnerable for us to ask for, orexperience.



We invite you to explore what specific combinations oftender and tough erotic energies and play we need, want and findappealing. When we understand our own erotic specificity we can moreeasily find a pathway to our sexual satisfaction. As always, we hopethat the conversation on this Speaking of Sex with the PleasureMechanics episode gives you some more vocabulary, inspiration andpermission to keep expanding your erotic possibilities at your ownpace, in your own way.



Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes




* Episode 48:Like It Rough



* Episode 367: Fucking Vs Making Love

Join us in conversation with Dr. Ina Park, author of Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs



In this essential episode we cover how to talk about sexual safety without stigma, the real risks and rewards we navigate as sexually active adults, and how we can all create a healthier, more joyful sexual culture for ourselves and future generations!



Learn more about Dr. Ina Park on her website inapark.net, follow her on Instagram and treat yourself to a copy of her book.



Resources Mentioned On This Episode:




* Soaking Wet probiotic supplements use the code PLEASURE for 20% off



* Western Blot Tests and Consultations from Westover Clinic

In this Best Of Pleasure Mechanics episode, we explore bringing the foundational attitudes of mindfulness into erotic exploration, getting kinky and expanding our sense of sexual self.



One of our coaching clients told us that this episode was a game-changer for them, allowing them to approach bringing kink into a relationship after FIFTY years of vanilla marriage! Now, they are feeling vibrant, free and more deeply connected than ever.



Tune In, Turn On & Level Up Your Erotic Life – we are here with you every step of the way!



Ready for your next erotic adventure? Our online courses offer you the skills, strategies and support you need to broaden your horizons, safely. Enroll now & explore from the privacy of your own home, with our support always a click away.

Join us to explore how to enjoy safer sexier oral play in this Pleasure Mechanics interview with CEO and founder of Lorals, Melanie Cristol.











* Add Lorals to your Pleasure Toolbox for safer, sexier oral play! Use the code PLEASURE_MECHANICS for 10% off your order



* DipseaStories : Explore an audio library of immersive erotic soundscapes, explicit stories and more. Use code PLEASURE for 30 day free trial




Ready to uplevel your experience of oral? Join our Oral Mastery Course for an immersive, experiential course in oral pleasure for all bodies!






More About Lorals:



Lorals has revolutionized oral sex. Slip into their silky latex lingerie and have carefree, uninhibited, maximum-pleasure oral every time. Wear Lorals as fetish wear for BDSM and kink, to play with more people at play parties, or wear them to experience oral and rimming without worries – about STIs, scratchy facial hair, period fluids, sensory concerns, dysphoria, or anything that’s holding you back.










Let’s inform ourselves on the basics on oral sex safety so we can make informed choices about where and how we use our mouths!



The bottom line: all oral contact, including kissing, can transmit infections. These STIs include chancroid, cytomegalovirus, gonorrhea, hepatitis A & B, herpes, human papilloma virus (HPV), syphilis, and, more rarely, HIV and chlamydia.



The good news! There are tools to provide protection and many people find exploring these tools opens up new possibilities for oral play!



Lorals are ultra thin sexy sheer latex panties for protection & comfort during oral sex and rimming play.



Unlubricated condoms or flavored condoms can be used for protection during blowjobs – or try non-latex condoms by Skyn for a neutral flavor and try adding a touch of your own favorite flavored lube.

We all deserve compassionate, culturally relevant care. In this nourishing conversation, we speak with Dr. Nazanin Moali, clinical psychologist & addiction specialist, about how we can all create more empathy and freedom for one another. We talked about how she works with clients from conservative backgrounds to get free from toxic conditioning, without leaving beloved home cultures behind.



Check out Dr. Moali’s Sexology Podcast, her Farsi language podcast Farsi Relationship Academy, and find out more about Dr. Moali’s private practice on her website on Oasis2Care.



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor:




* Explore Dipsea Stories for an immersive erotic soundscapes, explicit stories and more. Use the code PLEASURE for an extended 30 day FREE trial!

Techniques are efficient, strategic ways of getting a job done or wanted outcome achieved. Advanced Techniques bring together many skills at once to create extraordinary results – and that’s what happened when we brought our 20 years experience as somatic sex educators to the quest of creating the most comprehensive, powerful curriculum about oral play for all bodies.



From sustainable deep throating to irreverent irrumatio, from contemplative cunnilingus to masterful ManuOral, this episode introduces some of the Advanced Oral Techniques we developed while researching and developing our brand new course on oral pleasure.



Want A Taste Of The New Oral Course? Here’s your FREE Recipe for YOUR Best. Oral. Ever.



Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor:




* Explore Dipsea Stories for an immersive erotic soundscapes, explicit stories and more. Use the code PLEASURE for an extended 30 day FREE trial!



* Find discounts and offers from all of our sponsors at PleasureMechanics.com/Toolbox

Has oral become a chore? Do you offer dutiful or obligatory oral, but struggle to enjoy it? What happens when we go beyond the scripts and shoulds and start getting curious about what else is possible?



Grab our FREE Recipe for the Best. Oral. Ever. here! or jump into our brand new course and master the artistry of oral play with us!