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Sober Friends
Matt J
270 episodes
1 day ago
Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before invest...
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Mental Health
Religion & Spirituality,
Spirituality,
Health & Fitness
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Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before invest...
Show more...
Mental Health
Religion & Spirituality,
Spirituality,
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/270)
Sober Friends
E250: The Straw Man Chapter of the Big Book
Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before invest...
Show more...
1 week ago
34 minutes

Sober Friends
E249 Looks Fine on the Outside, Falling Apart on the Inside
Send us a text ver tell yourself, “I can’t be an alcoholic — I still have a job, a house, and a family”? This week, Matt and Steve dive into the myth of the high-functioning drinker — the person who looks like they have it all together, but is quietly falling apart on the inside. We talk about how easy it is to compare our messy insides to other people’s polished outsides, why you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to have a problem, and how the slow decline of high-functioning drinking erodes...
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2 weeks ago
30 minutes

Sober Friends
E248: What to Say When Someone Asks Why You Don’t Drink
Send us a text It’s one of the most awkward moments in sobriety when someone offers you a drink and you are not sure what to say. Do you tell the truth, make an excuse, or try to explain yourself? Matt and Steve talk about those everyday situations where being sober still feels weird, like barbecues, work events, neighbors, and family get-togethers. They share their own stories, what to say and what not to say, how to keep it simple, and why most people do not care as much as we think they do...
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3 weeks ago
35 minutes

Sober Friends
E247: Loving Your Enemies (Even When You Don’t Want To)
Send us a text Sometimes forgiveness feels impossible, especially when you’re sure the other person doesn’t deserve it. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the messy, uncomfortable work of letting go of resentment and learning to “love on” the people who have wronged us. Inspired by CHiPs star Larry Wilcox’s story about forgiving Erik Estrada after years of bitterness, the guys talk about what forgiveness really means in recovery and how it connects to humility, prayer, and emotional so...
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4 weeks ago
38 minutes

Sober Friends
E246: Grateful, Not Special: Rebecca’s Recovery Story
Send us a text Rebecca calls herself a “textbook alcoholic,” but her recovery journey is anything but ordinary. In this episode, she opens up about chasing the next big thing, hitting bottom, and finding freedom in sobriety. From navigating early recovery with overachiever energy (yes, she read the entire Big Book cover to cover) to surviving a literal hurricane without picking up a drink, Rebecca shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of staying sober. We talk about the myth of ...
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1 month ago
41 minutes

Sober Friends
E245: What Sloppy Drunks Taught Me About Sobriety
Send us a text At the Big E, one of the biggest fairs in the country, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly things turned sloppy once the drinks started flowing. Being surrounded by that chaos didn’t just make me uncomfortable—it brought me back to the unpredictability and abuse I grew up with around alcohol. In this episode, Steve and I dig into why being around drunk crowds can feel so unsettling in sobriety, how our pasts shape those reactions, and the strategies we use to stay safe when ...
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1 month ago
27 minutes

Sober Friends
E244: Finding Peace When the World Feels Unsafe
Send us a text Some weeks, the world feels like too much. Shocking news, painful anniversaries, and even everyday moments can stir up old fears and anxieties. For those of us in recovery, those feelings used to send us straight to a drink or a destructive behavior. In this episode, Matt and Steve talk honestly about what it’s like when the news cycle, memories of 9/11, and even walking into a school can trigger fear, stress, and overwhelm. We explore how Steps 6 and 7 — and other tools from r...
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1 month ago
37 minutes

Sober Friends
E243: Faith-Based Sobriety vs. The Scientific Method
Send us a text What really keeps people sober: faith, science, or a mix of both? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the tension—and surprising overlap—between faith-based recovery in AA and evidence-based approaches like therapy, medication, and new medical research. Matt shares a personal struggle with restless legs and sleep issues, along with his journey using weight loss medication, which sparks a bigger conversation: Can science offer the same kind of ...
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1 month ago
39 minutes

Sober Friends
E242: Why You Shouldn't Read the Big Book Alone
Send us a text The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was originally designed to be a sponsor in your pocket when there were no meetings to attend. So why do Matt J and Steve insist you shouldn't read it solo? In this honest conversation, they explore why this 1939 "textbook" hits different when you share it with others. From sponsor relationships to Big Book meetings, discover why interpretation matters and how hearing someone else's take on a passage can crack open meanings you've missed for ...
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2 months ago
29 minutes

Sober Friends
E241: The Secret to Step 12: It Helps You More Than Them
Send us a text In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve dig into Step 12 of the program: carrying the message and practicing the principles in all areas of life. They share personal stories of being welcomed into meetings, what it felt like to get help in those first shaky days, and why giving back to newcomers is essential for staying sober. From answering hotline calls to simply saying “welcome” at a meeting, Step 12 isn’t about preaching — it’s about showing up, sharing...
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2 months ago
38 minutes

Sober Friends
E240: Alcohol Wasn’t My Problem — This Was
Send us a text We say alcohol is the problem — but for me, alcohol was the solution to something deeper. In this episode, I share my story of living with ADHD and a new diagnosis of Level 1 autism, and how both shaped my drinking and recovery. From masking in social situations to battling boredom, anxiety, and racing thoughts, I talk about why alcohol became my coping tool and what I’ve learned in sobriety about finding healthier solutions. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes wit...
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2 months ago
27 minutes

Sober Friends
E239: AA, Therapy, and Everything in Between
Send us a text Alcohol was just the symptom. Matt and Steve talk about childhood wounds, confidence, and why lasting sobriety can take more than AA. From therapy to medical care, they share the tools that keep them sober—and why it’s okay to build your own recovery path. Love the show? Stay connected between episodes with the Sober Friends Dispatch—our Substack newsletter packed with real stories, honest reflections, and tools to help you live your best sober life. 👉 Subscribe for free at sob...
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2 months ago
38 minutes

Sober Friends
E238: Oops, Was That Alcohol?
Send us a text You’re out to celebrate—a birthday dinner at the hibachi grill, maybe a wedding, or just a backyard barbecue. Then it happens. Someone hands you a drink, squirts sake at your face, or serves food soaked in booze… and you didn’t even realize it until it was too late. In this episode, Matt and Steve share their real-life stories of accidentally consuming alcohol in social situations and how those moments impacted their sobriety. They dive deep into the difference between intent a...
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3 months ago
35 minutes

Sober Friends
E237: Is It Bad Enough Yet?
Send us a text Is it really that bad—or are you just starting to wonder? In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, we talk about that quiet question many of us ask ourselves: “Do I actually have a problem with alcohol?” You don’t need to lose everything to get sober. We explore what a “high bottom” looks like, how addiction can quietly damage your life long before rock bottom hits, and why questioning your drinking might be the biggest red flag of all. Whether you’re 18 or 58, your moment...
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3 months ago
36 minutes

Sober Friends
E236: Angels with Dirty Faces: Amber Hollingsworth on Seeing the Good in Addiction
Send us a text What if the person you love isn’t broken—just buried under addiction? In this powerful episode, I sit down with addiction counselor and YouTube creator Amber Hollingsworth of Put The Shovel Down to talk about something we don’t hear enough in recovery: how to actually help a loved one struggling with addiction—without enabling or playing the villain. Amber shares insight from two decades of working with addicts and their families, including: Why tough love often backfiresThe da...
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3 months ago
41 minutes

Sober Friends
E235: Help Wanted: Why It’s Hard to Ask and Harder to Accept
Send us a text In this episode of The Sober Friends Podcast, Matt and Steve get real about something that challenges many of us in sobriety—asking for help and, even harder, accepting it. Whether it’s a neighbor offering to help with yard work or a sponsor helping you through a relapse, support doesn’t always show up the way we expect. And sometimes pride, fear, or shame can keep us from accepting what we truly need. From stories of burnout and Cadillac problems to lessons learned through the...
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3 months ago
31 minutes

Sober Friends
E234: Planes, Panic, and Staying Sober
Send us a text Getting out of your comfort zone is hard — especially in sobriety. In this episode, Matt and Steve dive into the real-life anxiety of leaving the safe routines of recovery to go on vacation. From travel stress to the fear of asking for help, they unpack how discomfort shows up, how to plan ahead, and why pushing through it can actually strengthen your sobriety. Matt’s heading to Orlando with his family, and spoiler alert: he really doesn’t want to go — but he’s doing it sober. ...
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3 months ago
29 minutes

Sober Friends
E233: What Happens When the Pink Cloud Fades?
Send us a text In early sobriety, everything feels possible. You’re sleeping better, your skin looks great, and the world seems full of hope—that’s the “pink cloud.” But what happens when that high starts to fade? In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, Matt and Steve dive into the emotional crash that can come after the early euphoria wears off. We talk about why it happens (hello, brain chemistry), how to prepare for it, and what tools you’ll need to stay sober when life gets messy ag...
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4 months ago
32 minutes

Sober Friends
E232: The Booze Stopped Working- Marcy R.s Wake-Up Call in COVID
Send us a text What happens when the wine stops working—and you’re left alone with yourself? In this raw and powerful episode, Marcy R. shares how her drinking escalated during the isolation of COVID, and how that stillness forced her to confront the truth. From growing up with addiction in the family, navigating single motherhood, living with undiagnosed ADHD, and surviving a toxic relationship—Marcy opens up about the moment it all clicked: “I’m not in the wrong 12-step room. I’m an alcohol...
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4 months ago
39 minutes

Sober Friends
E231: When Everything Hits at Once—and You Stay Sober Anyway
Send us a text It’s Matt, and I’m flying solo this week with a raw and personal episode about stress, burnout, and trying to hold it all together—without picking up a drink. From battling insurance over Wegovy, to my daughter’s knee injury, to the financial hit of back-to-back sports trips, everything has been hitting at once. I’m feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and, honestly, kind of crispy around the edges. But here’s the thing: I’m still sober. And that’s a miracle. This episode is about h...
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4 months ago
22 minutes

Sober Friends
Send us a text In this episode, Matt and Steve take a hard look at We Agnostics, one of the most debated chapters in the AA Big Book. Matt admits he’s developing a resentment toward Bill W.’s logic — from comparing God to electricity to invoking Columbus and the flat Earth. Are these inspired metaphors or just sales tactics to get the drunk to believe? The guys talk about where Bill’s arguments fall apart, why intent might matter more than accuracy, and how the idea of “contempt before invest...