As hosts of the Happy Wife Happy Life podcast, comedians/writers/actors Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick help their listeners navigate everything related to relationships. Here on our show, in this episode, they bring that gift of harmony to society’s views of chihuahuas, especially their own rescue dog, Angel. As you drift off to sleep, you’ll hear about Angel’s peculiarities, why these dogs are not necessarily annoying but possibly misunderstood, and you’ll hear the surprising information that one of Paris Hilton’s chihuahuas was 23 dang years old when it finally passed away. 23. Can you believe that? Turns out, Paris was an excellent tiny dog caretaker. You’ll love spending your sleepytime with Kendahl, Jordan, and Angel who doesn’t bark at all during show. Not so yappy at all, you see.

The versatile Ana Marie Cox is a podcast host (Space the Nation, Past Due), a veteran journalist (MTV News, The New York Times Magazine), the founding editor of Wonkette, a writing instructor, and a political pundit and analyst, frequently featured on various cable news programs. But not to worry. Ana stays out of the political fray in this interview. I mean, nothing better to keep you stressed out and awake than the current political climate. Instead, Ana takes us on a tour of all the places she lived as a young person growing up in Texas, primarily around Austin and Fort Worth. Hear about the floor plans, the decor, and everything else you need to hear but not truly engage with as you drift off to sleep. Like all of our best episodes, it’s interesting enough to keep you distracted from your worries (like, you know, politics) but not so interesting that you lose sleep. Gotta have your sleep, Sleepyheads.

Here’s how we figure it: if you appear on our show (the most popular podcast in the world) (look that up) (don’t), you automatically become a celebrity. We have listeners all over this planet at least. That makes hardware store assistant manager Winter Burnett a celebrity. During our last Max Fun Drive, we set a stretch goal for new members and said if we hit that goal, one of you Sleepyheads could be the guest celebrity on the show. We hit it and received several excellent pitches. Winter’s concept: there are two laundromats in her town of Morris, IL (1.5 hours from Chicago, depending on traffic) so let’s look at the similarities and differences between Wash & Dry and Soaps. What kind of machines are there? What’s the TV situation? And which one has an adjoining hot dog place that also serves something called pizza puffs? You will be very, very mildly interested as you fall asleep, waking hours later feeling freshly laundered.

King of the multi-hyphenates Demi Adejuyigbe joins John to talk cameras, film, his favorite camera store, and... zzzzzz

You know Janet Varney from her starring roles in You’re the Worst and The Legend of Korra and from hosting two Maximum Fun podcasts, The JV Club and E Pluribus Motto, which she co-hosts with John Hodgman and which just launched its second season. But to the critters of the night, Janet is simply a friend, a liaison between themselves and all the diurnal humans. She talks about many nocturnal animals she encounters or nearly encounters around her Los Angeles home, including coyotes, possums, raccoons, and skunks, who, when they’re all out of stink spray, will pound their paws on the ground and make a “puh!” sound. It’s cute but not nearly as intimidating as the whole spray thing. Join Janet as she enumerates the various pals of the night and drift off to sleep knowing they’re out there.

Kathy Valentine is the bassist for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees The Go-Go’s. Emerging from the L.A. punk scene, ruling the charts, and still playing shows 47 years later, any member of the band must have a million thrilling stories about life as real live rock stars. But we’re a show that tries to put you to sleep so on our program Kathy talks about all the cats she has owned over the course of her life: Organic, Simon, Clorox, Protozoa, Greymalkin, Coconut, Elvis, Dart, Howard Hughes, Gingerman, Rocky, Dodge, Sylvie, and Mazzy. Learn the peculiarities of each kitty family member, their nuances and tendencies, as you drift off to sleep. Never mind your lips, your eyelids will be sealed. It’s like a vacation. We got the beat to your circadian rhythm. You’ll be head over heels in bed.

You may know Paget Brewster as FBI Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss on the television series Criminal Minds or as Joey’s girlfriend Kathy on multiple episodes of Friends. If you’re a particularly discerning entertainment consumer, you also know her from Andy Richter Controls the Universe or as Sadie Doyle on the podcast and stage series The Thrilling Adventure Hour. We’re not going to talk about any of that here, however, because we are going to spend a long time talking about bone broth. Paget walks us through the extensive days-long process of creating a broth that provides the foundation for many delicious meals. Listen to Paget’s soothing voice and drift off to sleep and maybe when you wake up you’ll have expert bone broth skills of your own.

Is this a feat that the beloved author, actor, and host of Maximum Fun’s Judge John Hodgman can actually pull off? Well, no, probably not. There are over 4,600 such islands and he’s only one mortal human. Come on. But will he make a pretty game attempt for a little while and invite you to join his efforts as you drift off to sleep? Oh yes. Oh absolutely yes. And together, we’ll learn about geodesic domes along the way and that will be neat.

The very funny and charming Julie Klausner is known for her starring role in the acclaimed Hulu dark comedy series Difficult People and she has appeared in Big Mouth, What We Do in the Shadows, At Home with Amy Sedaris, and many other beloved and hilarious programs. It’s stressful work, we think, because Julie has had a lot of massages over the years and she’s here to tell you all about them. We hope you’ll find our conversation as relaxing and sleep-inducing as a real massage but we assure you there will be no oils applied to you, nor will there be a CD of whale songs or the vague threat of wind chimes. And you can wear whatever you like.

Chris Duffy is a writer, extremely funny comedian, and host of the TED podcast How To Be a Better Human. He’s also a former contestant on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (answer: well, we all do, of course) where a producer asked what he would do if he won the titular million bucks and Chris said he would buy a lifetime supply of new socks. That’s a bad answer, the producer said, but Chris stands by it. He loves the feel of new socks quite a bit and has many thoughts on sock selection based on length, material, and overall foot feel. He cares about socks a whole lot and, being the show we are, we let him go on talking about socks and you can listen while you fall asleep, giggling occasionally. Doesn’t that sound pleasant? Sure it does.

You know Tamara Keith as NPR’s Senior White House Correspondent and as one of the hosts of the NPR Politics Podcast. You can count on her to deliver up-to-the-minute news and analysis on the most dramatic beat in journalism, even if it’s news that you may find very alarming. But there’s nothing alarming or upsetting about Tamara’s thoughts on the vast and delicious world of pies, it’s all very pleasant. She tells about making her favorite cherry pie and the pecan pie served at the secret White House basement Christmas party. Tamara’s job forbids her from offering an opinion on politics but she offers one here: cheesecake is not a pie. Drift off to sleep and dream of delicious, delicious pie served by a gentle NPR voice.

Comedian, actor, and author Tamara Yajia has a new book Cry for Me, Argentina: My Life as a Failed Child Star that doesn’t spend all that much time on the subject of charcuterie boards. But that’s what our discussion is for. Learn about Tamara’s grandfather’s extensive and somewhat emotionally charged boards and how they inspired her to make vast boards of her own, first in England and then in America. Learn also about how Brad Pitt became such a fan of Tamara’s charcuterie-informed podcast that he invited her over to his place for... charcuterie. Truth be told, he probably had someone else put it together but it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Tamara lays out a spread of conversation about salami, cheese, but never candy or fish, as you drift off to a delicious sleep.

Hanif Abdurraqib is a poet, cultural critic, and author of numerous books, including They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us, A Little Devil in America, and There’s Always This Year. He’s very passionate about music, as is evidenced in his massive collection, purchased online and at concert venues, of concert t-shirts, band sweatshirts, and other vintage apparel linked to various artists. Hanif walks us through his criteria for selecting which shirts to buy as well as what will determine the coming culling of his collection down to a more manageable 70. He also details the white whale that’s still out there, the item he dreams of: Tina Weymouth’s Talking Heads jacket last spotted onstage in Rome in 1980. Tina, if you still have that jacket, give us a call. Fall asleep as you listen to Hanif, who has a lovely soothing voice, take you through his closet and his thinking.

If you love history, you already know about the lovely podcast The Memory Palace, which celebrates the quirky and intriguing elements of stuff that has happened. If you haven’t heard it, go listen. But first, hear honey-voiced host Nate DiMeo explain his complex and impassioned opinions on team names, logos, the nefarious nature of image consultants, and Utah somehow being known for Jazz.

Nobody knows pop culture better than Linda Holmes, one of the hosts of NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour, and culture doesn’t get much more pop than the nineties teen prime time soap Beverly Hills, 90210. Let Linda guide you to sleep while she introduces you to Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Steve, Donna, and even Scott, who we frankly didn’t even know existed until Linda told us about him. We also challenge Linda to tell us, in the calmest and most soothing way possible, about the car bomb that killed Dylan’s dad. Linda Holmes has the honor of being the first returning guest on Sleeping with Celebrities and if you’re still awake after this episode, go back and listen to her give the full scoop on Melrose Place.

There are many places to acquire food and household items in the greater Los Angeles area. You could go to Costco, you could go to Ralphs, you could even swing by 99 Ranch. Or if you listen to this episode with the delightful Sierra Katow, you could visit all these places and let Sierra do the driving while you zonk off to sleep, sated with the audio equivalent of free samples of tasty snacks. You might have seen Sierra on Sex Lives of College Girls or Last Comic Standing or perhaps you’ve heard her as one of the hosts of Maximum Fun’s TV Chef Fantasy League. Or maybe you just know her from the produce aisle.

Roxane Gay is one of the greatest writers in the world today. Everyone knows this. We’re so thrilled that she agreed to be on our show. Roxane is the author of books like Bad Feminist and Hunger, writes for the New York Times, is a respected social critic and noted professor. All this means that she travels a lot and she joins us, using a very soothing voice, to share her opinions on air travel. Hear about her favorite airports, such as Indianapolis, and her least favorite airports, like JFK in New York. We even get some book recommendations from Roxane since we had her on the line and she is Roxane Gay, after all. You’ll drift off to sleep dreaming of travel without ever waiting in a TSA line.

Allan McLeod is an actor who has appeared on Parks & Recreation and You’re the Worst. He’s a podcaster who appears regularly as host on Walkin’ About, here on Maximum Fun. And, for our purposes on this episode, he’s a camper, who appears pretty often at campgrounds around California. Allan walks us through his incredibly detailed and quite lengthy packing list that he uses whenever he and his family take off for the great outdoors and he discusses some tips and tricks for making your camping adventure a wonderful experience. Drift off to sleep as you listen to Allan and imagine a toasty sleeping bag and a single owl hooting in the distance.

Whether you know her from the phenomenally popular YouTube channel Philosophy Tube or from her acting appearances in House of the Dragon or The Acolyte, chances are Abigail Thorn was dry when you saw her and above the surface of the water. Just know that this is not where she prefers to be. Abigail is a scuba diver and is here to send you to sleep by telling you all about her pastoral adventures had while wearing a self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. She made friends with an octopus.

Queen Priyanka is many things: singer, drag queen, Canadian television personality. But today we talk about her role as dog owner and keen observer of the quirks and personality facets of other dog owners, specifically the kind of dog owner that can be characterized as “crazy-ass dog owner.” If you like dogs, are fascinated by the eclectic habits of their owners, or just enjoy hearing conversation with a charming and vivacious human being, you will drift off to sleep with a smile on your face.