"The Brown family sits down to discuss their past and future; as Christine says she tried to make her relationship with Kody work, he says that the wives all had the same chances as Robyn; the family comments on Meri's legal divorce from Kody."
Kody Brown, or as he calls himself, Mr. Accountable is sick of getting the shit kicked out of him for loving Robyn! Christine is finally best dressed, Janelle is once again in a sensible white capri to match her calves and Meri is ready to date, again and again and again and again.
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Robert Garrison Brown
04.10.1998 - 03.04.2023
On March 4th, beloved son, brother, uncle, and friend Robert Garrison Brown joined his ancestors in the halls of Valhalla. Born to Janelle and Kody Brown, 6th child of a big, unconventional family.
Preceded in death by Sheryl Lee Brown, William Winn Brown, and Curtis Taylor Brown. He is survived by his large, adoring family and his three cats Catthew, Patches, and Ms. Buttons.
We remember him as the coolest dude who lived with a zeal for life, led through his curiosity. He was a world traveler, going to multiple countries and continents. He was a jack of all trades and a master in comedy. He enjoyed being an amateur craftsman and a adventurous photographer. His night sky photography evoked deep emotion. He was a Staff Sergeant in the Army National Guard and a proud CAV Scout. He was in school to become a Nurse because he cared about people.
Robert Garrison knew the best thing to say to make everyone laugh, especially in awkward situations. He made friends everywhere he went and his death leaves all who knew him in immense pain.
Robert Garrison's death is a reminder to tell those you love how you feel and take care of each other. Where do we turn when we miss him? "To the stars, Bowen, to the stars."
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available.
Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis
Lifeline or chat at 988lifeline.org
"Christine is excited to spend her first monogamous Valentine's Day with David. Meri and Janelle meet at Coyote Pass to discuss a strategy moving forward. Robyn and Kody discuss not being polygamists anymore, and Kody expresses his disappointment in plural marriage."
Janelle puts aside her pride and forces herself to talk to Meri, in hopes that Meri will foot the bill for an attorney. Robyn does the first work she's done in years, building a vanity for Aerola. Kody hires a PR team to fix his image, while Christine and David spend their Valentine's Day talking about Kody.
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"With Christine's help, Janelle moves her life from Flagstaff to North Carolina and sees the land that she purchased sight unseen; Meri questions her entire relationship with Robyn; Kody prepares to baptize Aurora into a new church."
David's got a dirty ass, Janelle is ready to hit the land moseying the second she closes on her new property– that is definitely not going to be a Coyote Pass 2.0 and Meri has added another career to her résumé as My Sister Wife's Closet customer service. Awowah, who is a full grown woman is still seeking permission from Kody and Robyn to get dunked.
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"On a road trip across the country to move Janelle to North Carolina, Christine, Janelle and David stop at a bar where Janelle has her first shot ever. The fate of Meri's B&B is up in the air, and Kody and Robyn have a heart to heart with Aurora."
Awowah is nervous to tell her parents what she's been doing behind their back and why she has been spending so much time on her knees and calling out for Big Daddy... and it's that she's ready to get baptized and be one with the Lord. Janelle gets sloshed on her first slippery nipple, Christine doesn't shut up the entire drive and Meri wastes more of our time.
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"Janelle and Meri join forces to finally get answers about Coyote Pass, but Kody is having doubts about letting it go. Christine takes another step towards independence and buys a vacation rental in Moab."
Janelle is busy collecting documents and zooming Meri– all in an effort to take Kody down. Robyn and her tenders just barely escape a tragic death by table. Christine is really going all in on her new business venture in Moab– but David has shrimp on the mind!
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"Christine and Janelle each reveal big new chapters in their lives. Kody meets with a realtor at Coyote Pass. Meri has a new companion in her life, and considers meeting with a lawyer about the property."
Janelle is an absolute villain to poor innocent Kody and Robyn– and all she cares about is money for more appliances and shit. Kody spills his entire life story to his new realtor, Meri and Jen are busy being salty bitches and Christine wears an awful braided ponytail while buying a place in Moab.
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"The day is finally here that Christine is getting married! It's a joyful event on the banks of the Colorado River as Christine and David say, "I do." Kody discusses missing out on the Brown family celebration, and has a scary close call while cutting down a tree."
The day is finally here a-fucking-gain. Christine is going to assault David out on the dance floor on their wedding day. A flash mob ensues and makes all Christine's Bruno Mars dreams come true. Meri is fillin' feisty and ready to come out and play with her crazy best friends, Just Jenn and Blaire with the lips. Robyn tries to kill Kody but is unsuccessful.
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"Meri cuts up a quilt that celebrated her marriage to Kody; Christine and David are in Moab preparing for their magical day; Robyn and Kody have a difficult conversation about the break-up of the family."
Meri reflects on all the good times her and Kody shared, like when he told her that she's a miserable bitch and he can't wait to return the favor. Cameras are rolling as Robyn soars to new heights. Christine and David continue to shove their wedding down our throat. Janelle springs into action when Toyota Avalon ends up on a milk carton.
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"Robyn's girls explore non-mormon churches and Kody struggles to keep quiet about it. Christine tries on her fairytale wedding dress, and the party continues with a wedding shower. Meri wants to start dating soon."
Meri and her friend Amber Malynn are having fun destroying any shred of Kody from Meri's life when a tragic accident takes Amber's knee. Dweedle Dee, Dweedle Dumb and Neck decide to try out a new church that leaves them in tears. Christine gets to try on her ill-fitted custom wedding dress, thanks to Destrie!
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"Kody and Robyn go on a date, and Kody rails against their former church. Christine and David host an engagement party with some very messy tacos. Meri and Jenn visit Brandi in Las Vegas to dish about her spiritual release from Kody."
As the Brown family continues to fall apart, cameras turn their attention to Christine and the shocking storyline no-one saw coming. Robyn goes to church and is immediately surrounded by men who want to fuck her. Janelle looks hot in a pink dress and Meri takes Brandi and Jen to do exactly what Kody did on last weeks episode.
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"Christine goes shopping for her dream wedding dress; Meri meets with two of her friends and struggles to come to grips with her new reality; Aurora and Breanna approach Robyn about returning to church."
Meri has a sit down with two wanna-be-therapists who gas her up and tell her she's an amazing business woman. Christine tries on a ton of ill-fitting dresses, while Truely suggests David go to town eating Christine's tits. Robyn has a very heavy sit-down with her two losers about becoming Buddhist.
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"As the deadline to pay off Coyote Pass looms, tensions rise over how the family will divide the property. Meri takes an empowering solo trip to England, and Christine and Janelle host a graduation party for Savannah."
Meri goes on a pathetic Eat Pray Love to look at a bunch of stacked rocks. Maddie puts on her boss babe hat and starts whipping Janelle into shape– while simultaneously Kody wishes he could screw Janelle so hard. Robyn is sick of pretending to like Meri and Savannah gets the worst graduation party the Browns have ever hosted.
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"Kody sobs after helping Meri move away from Flagstaff, leaving Meri confused about why he has pushed her away for so many years. David and Christine gather their kids to announce their engagement, and Janelle meets David."
Meri tricks Kody into spending one more anniversary together and trying to get intimate, but Kody has his #metoo moment and remembers how special cold sex with Robyn is. Paedon ruins Christine's huge surprise that no one saw coming (not even Nathan) and David is so excited to show Janelle his pasty arms and lame tattoos.
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"Christine and David's relationship continues at light speed when they go off-roading in Moab and David gets down on one knee; Ysabel is in tears over fears of losing her dad; Meri asks Kody to help her move to Parowan."
David and Christine are jumping into the Razor and leaving Ysabel in the dust while they fuck around Fast and the Furious style in Moab. Meri continues to be a sad pathetic loser who is delusional beyond belief. Kody and Robyn are pissed when they get roped into helping Meri move.
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"Janelle warns Meri about trusting Kody regarding the Coyote Pass property. Despite having dated for only a few months, Christine and David go house-hunting. The family gathers for Gwendlyn's bridal shower, and Kody awkwardly meets David."
Kody's been robbing from Meri to pay Robyn– and when Janelle alerts her to it, Meri knows Kody is a gentleman and would never do anything to hurt her (except for neglecting her the past 10 years of their marriage. Christine and David decide to fuck in every model home they go to, Gwen and Bernice go for an all you can eat surf-and-turf at the Olive Garden and Mykelti puts her producer hat on once again.
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"Kody suggests reconciling with Janelle, but she flatly refuses when he continues to prioritize Robyn. Christine introduces her boyfriend David to more of her children before they head out ring shopping." Meri is starting fresh with her new life and jumping into a new career as a pole dancer. Christine and David take their relationship to the next level by pooping in-front of one another, Janelle tells Kody off in the most beautiful fashion and Robyn is casting spells!
Get tickets to Zach's upcoming comedy tour: The Strip Mall Tease Tour and check out his podcast Camp Counselors Podcast! You can follow him on Instagram and TikTok!
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"Kody helps Meri prepare to move away, and they joke about their divorce; Christine and David look at wedding venues after only two months of dating, which leaves her kids thinking things are moving too fast."
Nathan has been eyeing Meri's beautiful furniture for years and thanks to Kody divorcing all his wives– looks like he's finally getting his wish! Christine and David fuck at a couple different wedding venues before nailing down Shelly's Red Cliff Lodge.
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"The Browns spend Christmas apart; Christine talks with her kids about her new boyfriend, David; in a heated sit down, Kody blames Meri for their divorce; Janelle wants to settle the property dispute with Kody and move on."
Christine and David are fucking out in public. Meri and Kody are fighting and fucking all over the place. Robyn is crying. Janelle is busy helping with Christmas for the first time ever, but finds some down time for a 10,000 piece puzzle.
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"Meri asks the church for a release from her marriage to Kody; Gabe opens up to Janelle about his relationship with his father; Christine is excited for her second date with David; Mykelti reveals she ate her placenta."
Mykelti gets absolutely ravenous on her placenta while Kody is still trying to figure out what that beautiful smell of afterbirth is on the twins. Meri finally gets a storyline, but no one actually cared to follow along. Christine lies about her second date and Gabe doesn't give a fuck how Janelle wants her eggs– she's getting them burnt!
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