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Shut Up Simon

Simon U.

46 episodes

2 months ago

Folks in the hood(speaking to my ninja's) need therapy the most. Just go see somebody. I swear even tho it's a lot of "therapy talk" in this episode, you will laugh your a$$ off. I'm not sure if any of the platforms care if you curse in the description but all the brand-building videos on youtube got me shook. This week comedian, writer, animator Chike Robinson pulls up. I promise ya'll will enjoy the next 45 mins. We talk about the Migos, how to do w/ separating from your homies, selling...

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Folks in the hood(speaking to my ninja's) need therapy the most. Just go see somebody. I swear even tho it's a lot of "therapy talk" in this episode, you will laugh your a$$ off. I'm not sure if any of the platforms care if you curse in the description but all the brand-building videos on youtube got me shook. This week comedian, writer, animator Chike Robinson pulls up. I promise ya'll will enjoy the next 45 mins. We talk about the Migos, how to do w/ separating from your homies, selling...

Show more...

Episodes (20/46)

Shut Up Simon

Momma's Bando ft. Chike Robinson

Folks in the hood(speaking to my ninja's) need therapy the most. Just go see somebody. I swear even tho it's a lot of "therapy talk" in this episode, you will laugh your a$$ off. I'm not sure if any of the platforms care if you curse in the description but all the brand-building videos on youtube got me shook. This week comedian, writer, animator Chike Robinson pulls up. I promise ya'll will enjoy the next 45 mins. We talk about the Migos, how to do w/ separating from your homies, selling...

4 years ago

48 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Mulatto Propoganda ft. @talentharris

Why do the top 3 biracial rappers all have white mommas? Comedian Talent Harris pulls up to answer this question. We also discuss the best way to lie to our future kids in the age of endless information. IG: @talentharris IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal Watch this episode on Youtube.

4 years ago

44 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Box Me Please ft. @electra_telesford

DID YOU MISS ME???? It's been a while. R.I.P Paul Mooney. His conviction to not just his truth but the truth is the reason he is so respected and coveted. While I was gone I celebrated my two-year stand-up anniversary. I thought I would've been touring the world playing blues harmonica by this time. My homie Electra(@electra_telly) pulls up cuz she's been in the game about the same amount of time. She's already famous. If you're in Brooklyn, on Wednesdays and want a place to ...

4 years ago

58 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Ain't Nothing Special About Being Special ft. @jachukuomotayo

One time I got mistaken for Pharrell & Bruno Mars in the same day. Okay, maybe not "mistaken for," but I was told I looked like them. They don't even look alike. I thought I was special, but really, I just fit the short light skin, archetype. But that's cool too, both them fools got Grammys. This week my fashion homie @jachukuomotayo pulls up & we dispel the myth of originality. IG:shutupsimonpod & @jachukuomotayo Twitter:simonuforreal Watch us on Youtube

4 years ago

22 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Don't Leave Your Partner 'Cuz They're a Six

What if somebody told you that they could give you everything you ever wanted? They promised you, that over the course of your lifetime, all of your wildest dreams can come true. All you had to do was shake their hand and maybe work a little harder but that's about it. You agree, and when you go to shake hands with them, their hand is covered in sh-t? We will always get what we want, never how we want it. IG:shutupsimonpod Twitter:simonuforreal Watch on Youtube.

4 years ago

20 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Cone Thugs-N-Harmony ft.@MattMiggz

A whole lot of jokes this week, with a pinch of life-altering information. I pulled up on @mattmiggz this week to see what's taking him so long with the best album the world has ever seen. We also revisit the most offensive names from Flavor of Love, & Ray-J's show where he was looking for a hoochie. People forget that's Brandy's brother. We forty episodes in. I love all ya'll musty a$$e$ IG: @mattmiggz IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal https://youtu.be/4ry8SmY1xY4

4 years ago

27 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Nurturing the Inner Lil' Homie

"If you can remember how you got where you are now, you can figure out the rest." - Simeezy Bruh, I could really start a business making fortune cookies for cajun seafood restaurants. People who enjoy sauteed clam strips appreciate a good anecdote. In this week's episode, I go into the importance of reconnecting with your inner lil' homie. s/o to @amerikanheathenog for the drip IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1...

4 years ago

19 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Pop, Lock, & Tok It

My homie @edwards_eli pulls up to give Simon the skinny on how to be Tik Tok famous so I can move to California and live in a lukewarm hot tub. Also, if she asks you to take your shoes off, you already know what's up. Big thanks to @edwards_eli IG:@shutupsimonpod Twitter:simonuforreal Watch us on Youtube. https://youtu.be/8azHzzVmk5Y https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062 https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7

4 years ago

38 minutes

Shut Up Simon

The Player or The Game? Which Do We Hate The Most?

You mad at Michael Jordan, or you mad at basketball? Also, if you ain't from Atlanta, shut yo' a$$ up. IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal Watch on Youtube https://youtu.be/DaqjpQ1knsQ https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062

4 years ago

15 minutes

Shut Up Simon

What Are You Just Sayin?

This week I give a lesson in cooperation. The first lesson, if you have something to say, that is more than obvious, don't say it. The second lesson, if you have something to say that isn't that obvious, don't say it, yet. IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: simonuforreal Watch us on Youtube.

4 years ago

16 minutes

Shut Up Simon

F**K The Italian Police

If you're ever in Italy, pack a pair of Jordans. This week I tell ya'll about the time I got chased by Italian Cops, almost got robbed, and was saved by a man with no arms or legs. Shoutout to my sister for being the live(virtual) audience of 1. Somebody hit up "The Moth" Watch Us on Youtube. IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal

4 years ago

22 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Porn Is Just Nudes From People We Don't Know

This week Simon is dolo. This ain't a TED Talk. Simon keeps it a buck about not wearing a mask in-doors, getting old at 28, & slapping anybody that questions the GOATness of Cee-Lo Green. IG: @shutsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal Watch us on

4 years ago

23 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Future, Getcho' Money Up ft. @RegThomas

Comedian Reg Thomas pulls up to the stu for a very entertaining and even more insightful conversation. Now if you not familiar w/ my boy Reg Thomas, you really lame as hell. He's been seen him on Buzzfeed, Complex, Comedy Central, the brother toured with Insecure's own, Amanda Seales. He hosts a bicoastal stand-up comedy show called, "Productively Stoned," with the hilarious Jordan Rock. We got drunk, we talked more sh*t like two old heads in a barbershop. We cracked jokes, & dro...

4 years ago

33 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Expecting Anything At All This Year? Save Yourself the Trouble, DON'T!!!!

Expectations are a proven mood killer. Any & every mood will be made worse by expecting anything. If you want to experience any sort of joy & happiness, don't expect a goddamn thing. Check out Simon's newly bald head on Youtube. IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal If you'd like to sell something on the podcast, hit me up. @humansbeingcomedy@gmail.com

4 years ago

16 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Shawty Said She Want A Balder

Simon cut his locs off after 3 years of his hair doing its' thing. Is he depressed? Whatever the case, nobody really cares. Welcome to Season 2. Go watch us on Youtube here IG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforreal https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062#episodeGuid=Buzzsprout-7643554 https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7

4 years ago

15 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Season 2 Trailer

Simon returns for Season 2, January 25th, 2021. Having expectations for anything is stupid, inclusion is destructive, and the pursuit of happiness only ends in the opposite. This season Simon playfully and critically discusses the hypocrisy and contradictions in our everyday lives. @shutupsimonpod Watch us on youtube.

4 years ago

1 minute

Shut Up Simon

Cheers to 2020 , You Triflin' M*tha F*cker

Congratulations. We made it. Despite the BS, we're here. Let's hug & kiss cuz we're gonna need all the love we can get in this year coming up. Happy New Year - Simon U. @shutupsimonpod @simonuforreal https://www.simonubryant.com/ watch on Youtube here

4 years ago

6 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Get It. Got It. Do Some Sh*t With It.

Today is the day. 12/21/2020. If you black, it's our day of transcendence into our new native land, I'm going to assume is Wakanda. Maybe this why we haven't gotten reparations, b/c they knew this entire thing was going down. Maybe. Maybe not. In Other News: Don't discount your own experience and lose yourself in the lessons learned from the experience of others. - Ya Boi.Also, Happy Crimuh. Watch us on youtube. https://linktr.ee/simonufunny

4 years ago

17 minutes

Shut Up Simon

Humans Being feat. Rony Byas

Black people can thank racism for being excluded from the opioid crisis. & What TF is happening to us on December 21st? For the past several weeks, every episode has just been me & you. Sex therapists says2 in order for any relationship to work, the parties involved have to keep the loving spicy & interesting. So that's what I did this week. I made it spicy and interesting. I invited business homie and fellow zoo enthusiasts to the show to shed some insight on a number of thin...

4 years ago

50 minutes

Shut Up Simon

But You Broke w/ a Perfect Credit Score

If you pull up on a punk bitch with cold, hard, cash money, the only credit you need is your name mentioned when the punk bitch tells the story about the G that pulled up & dumped 50K on his head. This week, join Simon for this rare financial discussion about how credit will have you going out sad for real. @shutupsimonpod Watch us on youtube. https://linktr.ee/simonufunny

4 years ago

22 minutes