For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen.
The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down.
Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it.
And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now.
For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along.




Resources to Support You:

* Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle.
As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.”
Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will. 




Resources to Support You:

* Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

We love to romanticize Ruth and Boaz like it’s the ultimate love story — but what if it’s really a story about being supported... for once? In this first episode back after my summer break, I’m digging into the part church never talked about: the quiet power of being chosen without earning it, being cared for without proving you deserve it, and receiving without struggle.
This episode isn’t about marriage or fairy tale endings — it’s about softness, legacy, and what happens when you position yourself to be supported... and then pass that support down.
In this episode I share:• Why support is often missing in the way the church teaches Ruth’s story•  What Ruth teaches us about positioning ourselves to be supported• Why Boaz’s role wasn’t savior — it was support• What it looks like to pass support down through generations 




Resources to Support You:

* Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"


* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.


* Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week


* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic


* Be a Guest on the Show


* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Let’s talk about protecting your peace — and whether that’s really what you’re doing… or if you’re just getting your lick back in silence.
In this minisode, I’m breaking down the Room to Breathe Support Language — the kind of support that shows up as space, quiet, and the ability to step away without guilt. But I’m also naming the moments when we call it “protecting our peace,” and it’s really a low-key way of making somebody else feel the pain we didn’t say out loud.
I even share a moment with my therapist that made me pause and ask myself if I was healing — or just withholding.
If Room to Breathe is your Support Language, or if you’ve ever needed space but didn’t quite know how to take it without using it as a shield, this episode is for you. This episode is a reminder that space is sacred — but only when it's rooted in care, not control. You don’t have to go silent to feel safe. You can protect your peace and still stay connected to the people who love you right. Take your time. Take your breath. Just be honest about why you need it.
In this episode, I talk about:



What Room to Breathe actually looks like


When silence becomes a weapon instead of self-care


That one therapy session I’ll never forget


Why relief isn’t the same as revenge


How to know when your peace is real and when it’s rooted in proving


 





Resources to Support You:

* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

I’m just gonna say it — I get annoyed when I see Black women using the phrase “women of color” when I know they mean Black women.
In this episode, I’m talking about why that bothers me, where I think it comes from, and what it’s actually costing us to keep softening, shrinking, or diluting our language — especially in spaces that are supposed to be built for us.
I share a recent moment that made me want to reflect out loud. Not to be messy, but because I think it’s time we talk about what happens when we keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable — even in our own healing work.
This isn’t about being divisive.It’s about being clear.Because when we say Black women, we’re not excluding anybody — we’re finally being honest.




Resources to Support You:

* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

They told us love was supposed to be everything. That if somebody loves you, that’s all you need.
But how many times have you felt loved… and still felt completely alone?
In this episode, I’m talking about that gap — the one between what people say and what they actually do. Because the truth is, love is not enough when it doesn’t come with support.
And I get it. It’s hard to admit that out loud.Especially when you know they care.Especially when they say the right things.
But if you’re still carrying everything by yourself…If you can’t fall apart without it turning into a problem…If you can’t rest without guilt or breathe without feeling like a burden…Then it’s time to get honest about what’s really missing.
So if you’ve ever felt like something was off in a relationship — even when love was present — you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not asking for too much.You’re just finally telling the truth about what you actually need.
And the truth is: love without support will never be enough.
Let’s talk about it.Let’s talk about the difference between being told you matter — and being treated like you do.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Inspired by the new Netflix series Forever, this Mother's Day episode is a soft but honest conversation about what happens when fear leads the way in parenting. When love is present, but support… isn’t.
This isn’t a recap.This is a reflection.
Because a lot of us were raised on protection that looked like pressure. On expectations that felt like love, but left little room to breathe. And now, many of us are trying to re-parent ourselves while still holding space for the mamas who did the best they could with what they had.
This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about truth.It’s about naming what was missing and choosing to offer ourselves something different.It’s about parenting — our children and our inner child — from trust instead of fear.
If today feels complicated, this one's for you.





Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Today we’re talking about support yourself during the hard seasons—and what it looks like when you have to be your own safe place.
Some seasons are heavy.Some days, getting out of bed feels like a miracle.Some days, breathing through the next hour is the biggest victory you’ll claim.
In this episode, I’m sharing what support looks like when you’re in the thick of a thing — when there’s no map, no quick fix, and no easy way to name the weight you’re carrying.
We’re sitting with the real and the raw:



How support can mean letting yourself fall apart without rushing the cleanup.


How being your own safe place might be the softest, hardest thing you do all day.


How support during hard seasons often starts with giving yourself permission to not be okay.


If you’re in a season where life feels too heavy to dress up in pretty words...If you’re breathing your way through sadness, loneliness, or silent grief...If you’re learning how to stay soft with yourself when the world expects you to be hard...
This isn’t a how-to guide.It’s not a motivational pep talk.It’s a soft landing.A real-time reflection.A slow, sacred breath in the middle of the storm.
Because even in the thick of a thing, even when you feel like you’re falling apart, you are still worthy of support — especially your own.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real.
What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch?
What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in?
This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive.
So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else.
We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them.
How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away.
If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt.
So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness…
This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Some days the weight is real, and you’re too tired to carry it, explain it, or make it sound better than it is. For the days when the tears come outta nowhere and your body says, “we can’t keep doing this”...
This is a quiet reminder that you don’t owe anyone a breakdown of why you need rest. You don’t have to clean up your exhaustion or justify your pause. You get to be tired. You get to slow down. You get to be held without performing for it.
If you’ve been feeling stretched, overextended, or quietly unraveling… this one’s for you.
Take what you need, and leave the rest.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held.

What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first?
What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point?
This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning… no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you're still sitting in the weight of it.
We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need.
The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for.
And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety…this one might hit extra deep.Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else.
This one’s not about fixing it.It’s not about pushing through.It’s about pausing long enough to say,“I don’t have to perform today.”
So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself.
One soft moment at a time.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

What if strength didn’t always have to come after the storm?
In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often as Black women, are taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.
But what if we flipped the script?
In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle as a Black woman—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often, we’ve been taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.
But what if we flipped the script?
Inspired by a powerful moment with my granddaughter, I explore how we’ve been conditioned to lead with the hard stuff first—and how that habit is rooted in generations of inherited struggle. But here’s the truth: your life is big enough to hold both.
This episode is your reminder that:



Joy isn’t selfish.


Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy.


You don’t have to brace for the worst before naming what’s good.


Whether you’re navigating grief, growth, or just trying to get through the week without falling apart, this one’s for you.
If you’ve been struggling with embracing joy and struggle as a Black woman—or if you’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop every time something good happens—this conversation will feel like a breath of fresh air.
Pull up a chair and let’s talk about reclaiming softness, wholeness, and the audacity to lead with joy.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

What does real support in relationships for Black women even look like?
Because we know love without support is a thing—and it’s exhausting.
This episode is a deep dive into what happens when you start asking for more than love… when you start asking for love that actually holds you — love that actually supports you.
If you’ve ever found yourself feeling unseen or unsupported in a relationship, this episode is for you. Because support in relationships for Black women can’t be an afterthought.
I’m sharing a story that still sits heavy on my heart—a moment that showed me love isn’t always enough. That moment shaped how I see relationships, and more importantly, how I receive support.
You’ll also hear how knowing your Support Language can help you:



Recognize when someone simply can’t support you


Stop accepting the wrong kind of support


Ask for what you need with clarity and confidence


Because love is a feeling—but support is a practice.
And support in relationships for Black women has to be intentional.
After you listen, take a minute to reflect:When was the last time you felt fully supported in a relationship—like, truly held?
That’s what we’re naming, claiming, and working toward in this episode.
Tap in and listen now.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Honoring your capacity is about choosing ease of exhaustion and creating space breathe, reset, and resst.

What happens when the strong one needs a minute?
This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most. If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you.
This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most.  I’m talking about what it means to honor your capacity, choose ease, and show up without overextending yourself. And yes, I’m letting you in on what’s been going on behind the scenes—including something I’ve been dreaming about for a long time.If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you.

So if you’re looking for a gentle nudge to slow down, reflect, and honor your capacity without guilt—you’ll want to listen




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.

* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com

Rate, Review & Follow the Podcast:If this episode speaks to you, send it to a friend and leave a review. That’s how we get more Black women the support they deserve.





 

Getting support as a Black woman isn’t always as simple as just asking for it. Because let’s be real—how many times have people tried to “support” you, but instead of feeling lighter, you just felt drained, unseen, or misunderstood?
That’s because support isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are specific types of support Black women need, but most of us aren’t getting them in the way that actually makes a difference.
In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down the five types of support Black women need—and why so many of us aren’t receiving them. If you’ve ever felt like people mean well but still aren’t showing up in a way that actually helps, this episode is for you.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why support doesn’t always land the way you need it to
The five types of support Black women need and how they show up in real life
How to stop settling for support that drains you and start getting support that actually fills you up

Key Takeaways:

Support isn’t just about people being there—it’s about them showing up in a way that actually matters.
If you don’t know how you receive support best, it’s easy to feel like you’re always carrying it alone.
When you name your Support Language, you start making room for the kind of support that truly nourishes you.

Why This Episode Matters:
Black women are often expected to be strong, but real strength isn’t about doing it all alone—it’s about knowing what kind of support actually sustains you.
You deserve support that feels like care, not just obligation. Let’s talk about what that looks like.
Tap in and listen now.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Setting the tone for the week ahead isn’t about rigid schedules or pushing yourself to do more—it’s about easing into the energy you want to carry with you. Before the world starts demanding things from you, take a moment to breathe, regroup, and move with intention.

What You’ll Get in This Episode:

Why setting the tone for the week ahead shifts how you experience it
How flow can be more powerful than force
A simple way to step into the new week feeling more grounded

Takeaway:
You don’t have to force yourself into a rhythm that doesn’t fit. When you let things flow instead of trying to control everything, you make space for alignment to find you.
Breathe. Trust. Move when you're ready. Press play and let’s ease into the week together.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Sometimes, even when we know exactly how we best receive support, it’s just not available in the way we need it. And when that happens, it can feel heavy—especially when we don’t know what to do with all that we’re carrying.
That’s where I’ve been these last few days. And today, I just want to share a little bit of what I’m learning about holding space for myself when support feels out of reach.
If you’ve been struggling to find the support you need, I see you. I feel you. And I hope this episode meets you right where you are.




Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.  Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease.
* Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram  for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone.
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Getting Support as a Black Woman often feels like a struggle. You’re managing everything, showing up for everyone, and doing it all with a strength that people celebrate—but what happens when the support you receive still leaves you feeling unseen and unsupported?

In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down what it means to move beyond surface-level help and start getting the kind of support that truly holds you. From understanding the difference between help and support to naming what you need, this episode offers practical steps to help you feel fully supported.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

* Why getting support as a Black woman often feels like settling for less.
* The emotional toll of receiving help that doesn’t truly meet your needs.
* The difference between help and support—and why knowing the distinction matters.
* Actionable ways to name the support that truly makes a difference in your life.

Key Takeaways:

* Help is temporary, but true support ensures you’re never carrying the load alone.
* Naming your needs is the first step toward getting the kind of support that holds you.
* Getting support as a Black woman is about more than receiving—it’s about feeling seen and valued.

Why This Episode Matters:
Black women are often celebrated for their strength while their needs are overlooked. This episode is about breaking free from the cycle of “just enough” and stepping into a space where you’re fully supported, fully seen, and fully valued.



Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Letting go isn’t always easy—especially when you’ve poured so much of yourself into something. But gripping tightly to an outcome that’s already shifting away will only leave you stuck, frustrated, and drained.

This week, we’re releasing the need to control every outcome. No more forcing. No more fighting for what’s already walking away. Instead, we’re making peace with the unfolding and trusting that what’s meant for us will always find us.
What You’ll Get in This Episode:

* A few reasons letting go of outcomes feels so hard
* Why trying to force what’s already shifting only leads to more struggle
* A shift in perspective that will help you breathe a little easier this week

Takeaway:
There is peace in letting go. Holding on too tightly—whether to plans, people, or expectations—can feel like security, but often, it just keeps us stuck. This episode is an invitation to loosen the grip, trust the unfolding, and find peace in what’s already shifting. Because sometimes, the freedom we’re searching for isn’t in getting what we want—it’s in releasing what was never ours to hold.
Affirmation for the Week:
"This week, I release the need to control every outcome. I trust that what’s meant for me will find me. I find peace in the unfolding."

Take a deep breath and press play.



Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.  Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease.
* Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram  for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone.
* www.shadesofstrong.com






 

Black women are often celebrated for their strength, their ability to handle everything, and the way they show up for everyone else. But what happens when you’re left feeling unseen as a Black woman—recognized for what you do, but never for who you are?

In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking the emotional toll of being unseen and exploring what it means to reclaim your visibility. From the exhaustion of always “being on” to the importance of recognizing yourself first, this episode offers tangible ways to step into a space where you’re valued beyond what you give.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

* Why Black women are often seen for their strength but not their softness.
* How the emotional weight of always “being fine” impacts your well-being.
* Why being seen starts with recognizing yourself before others can.
* Simple ways to reclaim your visibility and let others see you, not just what you do.

Key Takeaways:

* Being seen isn’t just about how others treat you—it’s about how you treat yourself.
* Strength is only part of who you are—you deserve to be seen in your fullness, including your softness and needs.
* The first step to making sure others see you is ensuring that you see you.

Why This Episode Matters:
Feeling unseen as a Black woman isn’t just about external validation—it’s a deeply ingrained pattern rooted in generations of being celebrated for labor instead of humanity. This episode is about unlearning the belief that you have to earn your worth and stepping into a space where you are seen, supported, and valued for who you are.



Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz.
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* www.shadesofstrong.com