In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore a complex email from a listener struggling with intimacy and respect in her relationship.

We explore themes of sexual connection, the importance of boundaries, and the distinction between compatibility and respect. Our conversation emphasizes the need for personal empowerment, the significance of reclaiming one's voice and desires, and the necessity of facing fears in order to foster healthier relationship dynamics.

Ultimately, we want listeners to prioritize self-respect and well-being in your relationships.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, questions to ask yourself to address your voice in your sex life and marriage.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this conversation, Gary Thomas joins me as we explore the intricacies of married intimacy, focusing on the importance of emotional connection and the five senses in enhancing sexual experiences.

We discuss how cultural perspectives shape our understanding of intimacy, the significance of touch, sound, taste, sight, and smell, and how these elements can be integrated to create a richer, more fulfilling experience.

Gary emphasizes the need for couples to adapt to changes in their sexual dynamics over time and to embrace new possibilities for connection. Learn more about Gary here - https://garythomas.com/

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Paired App: Head to https://www.paired.com/SMR and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today,

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



On the Regular Version …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore the complexities of love in action within marriage, addressing the common phrase ‘I know he loves me, but…’ and its implications. We discuss the difference between love as an emotion and love as demonstrated through actions, emphasizing the importance of tangible expressions of love.



The conversation dives into the dynamics of self-deception, the fantasy versus reality in relationships, and the necessity of confronting unhappiness and uncertainty. We hope to encourage you to reflect on your own behaviors and the impact of self-respect in your relationships, ultimately guiding you towards a deeper understanding of love and action.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended Version …



In the XTD content, questions and actions to take yourself to address your role and the system of your marriage.



Sponsors …



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we dive into the complexities of marital intimacy and emotional disconnect, sparked by a listener's email.

We explore themes of self-love, communication barriers, and the impact of conditional love on relationships. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of personal growth and taking responsibility for one's own emotional well-being, while also addressing the challenges of maintaining connection in a marriage.

The goal? Learning to focus on being the spouse you want to be, regardless of your spouse's actions, and to navigate the dark sides of marriage with clarity and kindness.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, more specific questions to learn how to be honest with yourself in your marital situations.

Sponsors …

Paired App: Head to https://www.paired.com/SMR and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we discuss the complexities of marriage, focusing on health, sexuality, and the impact of personal choices on relationships.

A wife emails us asking how she can help her husband care about their sex life.

Our conversation explores how anxiety can manifest in physical ways, the importance of integrity in communication, and the need for collaboration in addressing marital challenges. We also emphasize the significance of facing personal issues and the impact they have on the relationship, encouraging listeners to engage in honest dialogue and seek solutions together.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, specific questions not only this wife can ask herself, but all of us can.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this conversation, Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins me as we explore the intricate relationship between sexuality and spirituality, emphasizing the importance of intimacy and personal growth within marriages.

We discuss the challenges of navigating desire, vulnerability, and the dynamics of relationships, while also highlighting the need for authenticity and self-discovery.

Dr Jennifer also shares insights from her upcoming book and courses, aiming to help individuals and couples create deeper connections and joy in their relationships. Check them out here - https://finlayson-fife.com/

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore the concept of outsourcing sexual desire within marriage. We explore how individuals often hand over the responsibility of sexual energy to their partners, leading to a disconnect in intimacy.

Our conversation emphasizes the importance of owning one's desire, understanding the biological and environmental influences on sexual interest, and recognizing the dynamics of engagement and presence in sexual relationships. We encourage listeners to ask better questions about their desires and to collaborate with their partners in navigating intimacy.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, practical steps and questions to ask yourself to understand where you may be outsourcing things in your life.

Sponsors …

Paired App: Head to https://www.paired.com/SMR and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today.

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore the complexities of sexual initiation within marriage, focusing on the dynamics between higher and lower desire partners.

What are the challenges of initiating intimacy, the pressures involved, and the importance of communication and understanding each partner's needs?

Our conversation emphasizes the need for both partners to take responsibility for their roles in the relationship and to work together to create a healthy sexual climate.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, practical strategies for enhancing connection and navigating the intricacies of desire are discussed - things that both members of the relationship can be more aware of and then do differently.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore into the complexities of vaginismus and its impact on sexual relationships. We explore the emotional and psychological aspects of sexuality, emphasizing the importance of understanding desire, inhibition, and shared responsibility in intimate encounters.

Our conversation highlights the need to reframe sexual expectations and focus on connection rather than solely on orgasm. Through a listener question we encourage all couples to reflect on their sexual experiences and foster growth in their relationships.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we go through specific questions and ideas for couples to ask of themselves and each other.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore common phrases and beliefs about marriage that may not hold true.

Phrases like 'You complete me,' the 50-50 marriage proposition, and the idea that love conquers all. We dive into the complexities of marriage, emphasizing the importance of individuality, communication, and realistic expectations. What are your own beliefs and what phrases resonate with you?

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we do a deep dive into the phrase "you can be right or you can be happy."

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

An episode from the vault - Dr. John Delony joins me as we talk through the concept of anxiety as a smoke signal, indicating that something is amiss in our lives.

He encourages individuals to face their discomfort and choose the hard path of growth and change (sound familiar?). He also highlights the significance of belief in something bigger than ourselves and the need to drive our own lives instead of trying to control others.

Lastly, we discuss the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own actions in relationships.

Learn more about Dr John here https://www.ramseysolutions.com/john-delony

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we continue the conversation with Dr John by looking further into how vulnerability and open communication are key to building strong and intimate relationships. Plus, it is important to embrace the mundane aspects of life and find joy in the everyday moments.

Sponsors …

Paired App: Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at
https://www.paired.com/SMR

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery joins me as we dive into the complexities of Christian sexuality, exploring themes of trust, identity, and the integration of faith with sexual intimacy.

We discuss the challenges Christians face in surrendering their sexuality to God, the importance of understanding behavior versus identity, and the biblical perspectives on sexuality.

Juli emphasizes the journey of discovering a deeper intimacy in relationships and the role of God in sexual experiences, ultimately encouraging listeners to wrestle with their faith and sexuality in a meaningful way.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, we answer a listeners question about how to address an issue that has come up now that his wife has had a partial hysterectomy and gets too wet so there is a loss of friction.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

We explore the difference between a willingness vs intent to have sex. Only this segment is one where Pam and I are not on the same page and it goes a completely different way than Corey was thinking it would beforehand.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, recorded live from the 2025 Sex Marriage Radio Getaway, we explore how spending too much focus on the beginning of a sexual encounter can actually hurt the desire levels in both spouses.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

The second portion of the live Q&A session from the 2025 Getaway.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, recorded live from the 2025 Sex Marriage Radio Getaway, I quiz Pam and the audience on what they know about various aspects of sex.

Follow along, or get a piece of paper and see how you score.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

A portion of the live Q&A session from the 2025 Getaway.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we address the complexities of navigating new relationships after experiencing loss. We discuss the challenges faced by a young widow who is trying to reconcile her past relationship with her new partner, emphasizing the importance of establishing boundaries, open communication, and allowing space for grief.

Our conversation highlights the necessity of collaboration in relationships and the need for self-confrontation to foster personal growth and healing.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

An email from a wife asking for help navigating over a year and a half of infertility in her marriage. How do you make it intimate when it becomes so task oriented instead?

And, how do you handle the meanings of the struggle during this season?

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio we explore the Love Languages from Gary Chapman. Specifically we dive into how there are some problems with them that can actually be harmful to relationships.



How exactly can something so widely known, and even loved, be possible?



Listen to find out.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



An email from an Academy member wants to know about action steps to move beyond the “Nice Guy” – that’s what we go through today.



Sponsors …



Paired App: Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app athttps://www.paired.com/SMR



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



Everyone gets the full show …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we revisit an archive show with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. We dive into the topic of obligation sex.



Is it a part of every marriage?



Is it harmful to one, or both spouses?



To learn more from Jennifer and find her Room For Two Podcast – check out her site https://www.finlayson-fife.com/



Enjoy the show!



Sponsors …



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we dive into an email from a listener wanting help with the complexities of desire and connection in marriage.

A husband is feeling used in a relationship where sexual interest seems limited to ovulation periods.

Our conversation dives into the dynamics of sexual desire, the impact of past trauma, and the importance of communication in navigating these challenges. We explore the need for emotional connection and understanding in relationships, highlighting the two-choice dilemma faced by spouses when their desires do not align.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

We continue the conversation and go deeper into the moves they each can make to better face the gridlock in their marriage.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore common mistakes that couples make in their sexual relationships. They categorize these mistakes into those typically made by men and women, discussing issues such as communication, self-care, and understanding each other’s desires.



The conversation emphasizes the importance of connection and intimacy over mere physical encounters, encouraging couples to engage in open dialogue and prioritize their emotional and physical well-being.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



We covered the mistakes men make in the regular version – now we cover the mistakes women make.



Sponsors …



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy