In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore the complexities of sexual initiation within marriage, focusing on the dynamics between higher and lower desire partners.

What are the challenges of initiating intimacy, the pressures involved, and the importance of communication and understanding each partner's needs?

Our conversation emphasizes the need for both partners to take responsibility for their roles in the relationship and to work together to create a healthy sexual climate.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, practical strategies for enhancing connection and navigating the intricacies of desire are discussed - things that both members of the relationship can be more aware of and then do differently.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore into the complexities of vaginismus and its impact on sexual relationships. We explore the emotional and psychological aspects of sexuality, emphasizing the importance of understanding desire, inhibition, and shared responsibility in intimate encounters.

Our conversation highlights the need to reframe sexual expectations and focus on connection rather than solely on orgasm. Through a listener question we encourage all couples to reflect on their sexual experiences and foster growth in their relationships.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we go through specific questions and ideas for couples to ask of themselves and each other.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore common phrases and beliefs about marriage that may not hold true.

Phrases like 'You complete me,' the 50-50 marriage proposition, and the idea that love conquers all. We dive into the complexities of marriage, emphasizing the importance of individuality, communication, and realistic expectations. What are your own beliefs and what phrases resonate with you?

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we do a deep dive into the phrase "you can be right or you can be happy."

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

An episode from the vault - Dr. John Delony joins me as we talk through the concept of anxiety as a smoke signal, indicating that something is amiss in our lives.

He encourages individuals to face their discomfort and choose the hard path of growth and change (sound familiar?). He also highlights the significance of belief in something bigger than ourselves and the need to drive our own lives instead of trying to control others.

Lastly, we discuss the importance of self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own actions in relationships.

Learn more about Dr John here https://www.ramseysolutions.com/john-delony

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended Version …

In the XTD content, we continue the conversation with Dr John by looking further into how vulnerability and open communication are key to building strong and intimate relationships. Plus, it is important to embrace the mundane aspects of life and find joy in the everyday moments.

Sponsors …

Paired App: Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at
https://www.paired.com/SMR

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery joins me as we dive into the complexities of Christian sexuality, exploring themes of trust, identity, and the integration of faith with sexual intimacy.

We discuss the challenges Christians face in surrendering their sexuality to God, the importance of understanding behavior versus identity, and the biblical perspectives on sexuality.

Juli emphasizes the journey of discovering a deeper intimacy in relationships and the role of God in sexual experiences, ultimately encouraging listeners to wrestle with their faith and sexuality in a meaningful way.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, we answer a listeners question about how to address an issue that has come up now that his wife has had a partial hysterectomy and gets too wet so there is a loss of friction.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

We explore the difference between a willingness vs intent to have sex. Only this segment is one where Pam and I are not on the same page and it goes a completely different way than Corey was thinking it would beforehand.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, recorded live from the 2025 Sex Marriage Radio Getaway, we explore how spending too much focus on the beginning of a sexual encounter can actually hurt the desire levels in both spouses.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

The second portion of the live Q&A session from the 2025 Getaway.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, recorded live from the 2025 Sex Marriage Radio Getaway, I quiz Pam and the audience on what they know about various aspects of sex.

Follow along, or get a piece of paper and see how you score.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

A portion of the live Q&A session from the 2025 Getaway.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we address the complexities of navigating new relationships after experiencing loss. We discuss the challenges faced by a young widow who is trying to reconcile her past relationship with her new partner, emphasizing the importance of establishing boundaries, open communication, and allowing space for grief.

Our conversation highlights the necessity of collaboration in relationships and the need for self-confrontation to foster personal growth and healing.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

An email from a wife asking for help navigating over a year and a half of infertility in her marriage. How do you make it intimate when it becomes so task oriented instead?

And, how do you handle the meanings of the struggle during this season?

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio we explore the Love Languages from Gary Chapman. Specifically we dive into how there are some problems with them that can actually be harmful to relationships.



How exactly can something so widely known, and even loved, be possible?



Listen to find out.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



An email from an Academy member wants to know about action steps to move beyond the “Nice Guy” – that’s what we go through today.



Sponsors …



Paired App: Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app athttps://www.paired.com/SMR



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



Everyone gets the full show …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we revisit an archive show with Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. We dive into the topic of obligation sex.



Is it a part of every marriage?



Is it harmful to one, or both spouses?



To learn more from Jennifer and find her Room For Two Podcast – check out her site https://www.finlayson-fife.com/



Enjoy the show!



Sponsors …



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we dive into an email from a listener wanting help with the complexities of desire and connection in marriage.

A husband is feeling used in a relationship where sexual interest seems limited to ovulation periods.

Our conversation dives into the dynamics of sexual desire, the impact of past trauma, and the importance of communication in navigating these challenges. We explore the need for emotional connection and understanding in relationships, highlighting the two-choice dilemma faced by spouses when their desires do not align.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

We continue the conversation and go deeper into the moves they each can make to better face the gridlock in their marriage.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore common mistakes that couples make in their sexual relationships. They categorize these mistakes into those typically made by men and women, discussing issues such as communication, self-care, and understanding each other’s desires.



The conversation emphasizes the importance of connection and intimacy over mere physical encounters, encouraging couples to engage in open dialogue and prioritize their emotional and physical well-being.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



We covered the mistakes men make in the regular version – now we cover the mistakes women make.



Sponsors …



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



We go back into the archives to one of the Best of SMR episodes.



An email from a wife who has discovered the eroticism and freedom that can happen when masturbating together with her husband. 



What’s the difference between sexual thoughts and lust?



A husband wanting to know what to do when he’s tried to live in a way that ignites his wife’s passion (according to an old post I wrote – https://smr.fm/heads-up-husbands-5-ways-to-ignite-your-wifes-passions/) and yet his wife had an affair.



Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



How do you confront gridlock in your marriage and what are the forced choice dilemmas that come along with them?



Sponsors …



Everylove Intimates: Add spice and connection to your marriage with a Date Box. Get 20% off with our code SMR at https://everyloveintimates.com/smr



Acorns: A financial wellness app that makes it easy to invest for your future, save for tomorrow, and spend smarter today. https://acorns.com/passion



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on the concept of regressions and how they affect emotional functioning.

We discuss the different types of regressions, the impact of stress, and the contagious nature of regression in relationships. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's emotional state to improve relationship dynamics.

Takeaways

Understanding regressions can empower individuals in relationships.

Acute regressions are short-lived but impactful.

Steady state regressions can go unnoticed and affect daily functioning.

Stressful life events can trigger regressions.

Recognizing triggers is crucial for managing regressions.

The emotional state of one partner can influence the other.

Communication is key to navigating regressions in relationships.

Self-awareness helps in identifying personal regressions.

High meaning situations can exacerbate emotional challenges.

Assuming one is regressed until proven otherwise can lead to better self-management.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

In the XTD, we described what regressions look like - now we cover what you can do about them.

Join us to find our.

Sponsors …

Everylove Intimates: Add spice and connection to your marriage with a Date Box. Get 20% off with our code SMR at https://everyloveintimates.com/smr

Academy: Join the Academy and go deep

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at nation.smr.fm



The 2025 Sexy Marriage Married Getaway is June 19-21, 2025. Register now.



On the Regular version …



In this episode, Marni Battista shares her journey from blaming her husband for her dissatisfaction to embracing change and personal growth within her relationship. Through her experiences and insights, she emphasizes the importance of asking better questions, designing a life together, and taking responsibility for one’s own happiness.



The discussion highlights the significance of collaboration, meaningful experiences, and the transformative power of change in relationships.



Learn more about Marni here – https://marnibattista.com/



Takeaways




* Personal reflection is crucial for relationship growth.



* Confronting change can lead to deeper connections.



* Creating peak experiences can transform everyday life.



* Building internal safety is essential for personal growth.



* Setting boundaries can foster healthier relationships.



* Collaborative alliances can enhance relationship satisfaction.



* Designing life together requires patience and understanding.



* Meaningful experiences are vital for relationship vitality.



* Taking responsibility for one’s part is key to relationship success.




Enjoy the show!



On the Xtended version …



In the XTD content Pam and I discuss the systemic dynamics at play during change.



Join us to find our.



Sponsors …



Everylove Intimates: Add spice and connection to your marriage with a Date Box. Get 20% off with our code SMR at https://everyloveintimates.com/smr



Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this episode, we explore the complex dynamics of wanting to be wanted in relationships, emphasizing the universal nature of this desire.

What's the difference between wanting and needing? How does this play out in the context of intimacy and connection?

Our conversation encourages listeners to reflect on their own desires and the role they play in their relationships, ultimately advocating for a deeper understanding of oneself and one's partner.

Takeaways

Wanting to be wanted is a fundamental human desire.

There is a difference between wanting and needing in relationships.

Self-validation is crucial for healthy relationships.

Understanding your own desires can improve connection with your partner.

The dynamics of wanting play out in both sexual and emotional contexts.

Blame can hinder the ability to connect with a partner.

Recognizing the role of personal responsibility in relationship dilemmas is essential.

Creating something worth wanting involves self-awareness and growth.

The pressure of wanting can be alleviated through self-reflection.

Healthy relationships require a balance of self and other validation.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

In the XTD content we dive into a dynamic that may be even more difficult that wanting to be wanted - Wanting to Want.

What exactly does this mean?

Join us to find our.

Sponsors …

Paired App: Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at
https://www.paired.com/SMR

Everylove Intimates: Add spice and connection to your marriage with a Date Box. Get 20% off with our code SMR at https://everyloveintimates.com/smr

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this call-in episode, Anne discusses her experiences with her husband's lack of interest in her pleasure, she's guessing it is stemming from his background with pornography.

Our conversation explores the dynamics of intimacy, expectations, and communication in their marriage, highlighting the challenges and growth they face together.

We emphasize the importance of mutual pleasure, understanding each other's needs, and the steps in a journey towards a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Takeaways

A woman's pleasure can sometimes be overlooked by men due to various factors.

Pornography can create unrealistic expectations and impact intimacy negatively.

Communication about sexual needs and desires is crucial in a marriage.

Expectations can create pressure that affects sexual dynamics.

Understanding each other's backgrounds can help navigate intimacy issues.

Boldness in expressing desires can be intimidating for partners.

Mutual pleasure is essential for a satisfying sexual relationship.

Recognizing the difference between boldness and courage is important in communication.

Sexual satisfaction involves both partners feeling connected during and after intimacy.

Growth in a relationship often requires confronting uncomfortable truths.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Alloy: Get your Alloy prescription today. Visit https://myalloy.com/PASSION today for $20 off your first order! #agegracefully

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this conversation, J. Parker joins me as we talk through the dynamics of desire within relationships, particularly focusing on the experiences of higher desire wives.

We discuss the societal perceptions of sexual desire, the complexities of male sexuality, and the various factors that can influence sexual interest in relationships. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster better communication and intimacy between partners.

We also explore the complexities of desire gaps in relationships, particularly focusing on higher desire wives.

Learn more about J Parker and get her book here at https://hotholyhumorous.com

Takeaways

The higher desire wife dynamic is often overlooked in resources.

Many higher desire wives feel like there's something wrong with them.

Research suggests that 15-25% of marriages experience this dynamic.

Male sexuality is more complex than often portrayed.

Desire dynamics are comparative and not indicative of worth.

Insecurities can arise for both partners in these dynamics.

Health issues can significantly impact sexual desire.

Screen time and distractions can hinder intimacy.

Sexual orientation and identity can complicate desire dynamics.

Communication and reassurance are key in navigating these challenges. We can make a challenging situation into an impossible situation.

Do we face these with a little more courageousness?

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

In the XTD content we discuss the importance of communication, understanding each other's needs, and managing expectations in marriage. Strategies for improving intimacy and creating opportunities for connection are emphasized, along with the significance of recognizing and addressing personal insecurities and stressors that may impact sexual desire.

Sponsors …

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy

In this call-in conversation, Ashley from North Carolina discusses her experiences with desire dynamics in her marriage, particularly as a higher desire wife.

We explore the complexities of emotional and physical intimacy, the importance of communication, and the challenges of navigating life changes such as parenthood. Our conversation emphasizes the need for vulnerability, self-discovery, and confidence in expressing desires within the relationship.

Takeaways

The couple's intimacy has been affected by recent life changes, including parenthood.

Emotional intimacy is closely tied to physical intimacy for Ashley.

Initiation plays a crucial role in their sexual relationship.

Communication about desires and feelings is essential for connection.

Ashley struggles with feelings of rejection when her husband doesn't initiate intimacy.

Life stressors can impact emotional and physical connection in marriage.

Building confidence in expressing desires can enhance intimacy.

Vulnerability is necessary for deeper connection in relationships.

Self-discovery is a key part of navigating intimacy and desire.

Enjoy the show!

On the Xtended version …

Ashley has a few more questions to cover - se we keep the conversation going.

Sponsors …

SMR Getaway: Join us for this year's Getaway, June 19-21, 2025. https://smr.fm/getaway

Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy