Wrapping up the first season of Sex, Drugs & Enlightenment, Oakley reflects back with copious gratitude on the beautiful clients and powerful interviews that made each episode so impactful. The intention of this experimental journey was to equip listeners, especially young adults, with tools for healing and building emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence requires awareness, self-regulation, and articulation of needs. In Oakley’s experience, much of the pain people are living through is linked to over- or under-stimulated nervous systems as a result of feeling disconnected from self, source, or others. Season one has been a deep dive into strengthening those connections so that we can live our fullest, most authentic lives.
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Spiritual teacher and mindfulness guru Dayanand shares gems of wisdom gleaned from his path to enlightenment in part 2 of the conversation. For those seeking spiritual growth, this unconventional monk encourages intentional practices that cultivate stillness, especially in cultures that value speed and distraction. Practicing stillness is like a muscle. It takes time and dedication to bring about lasting change. When we bring ourselves fully into each present moment, we come face to face with the unconditional and abundant love that lives within us all.
Breath work is one of the best ways to practice stillness. By connecting the mind, heart, and body through regular meditation, we are able to become the observer of our lives. When we can observe our thoughts and feelings without attachment, we allow the energy to flow in whichever direction it chooses. Letting go of our need for control, negative emotions can easily dissolve instead of getting stuck in our overidentification with them. This brings a deep sense of freedom for those who can practice finding stasis amidst an ever-changing landscape of internal and external influences.
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What are the beliefs holding you back from living your colossal life? This is the question Oakley poses to her client in this session centered around recognizing, releasing, and replacing negative beliefs that keep us stuck. Her client is a young man who is dedicated to his work both professionally and spiritually, but he’s struggling to feel confident enough to make big decisions for his future. This fear stems from the core belief many humans share: I’m not enough. If you find yourself unable to clearly communicate what you want, you may carry this belief as well. It is a self-protective framework that drives us to perpetually seek validation from external sources and to play it safe. Whatever your inhibiting belief may be, Oakley reminds us that we have the power to redirect that energy and free ourselves from whatever holds us back. To break this young man’s connection to his negative belief, Oakley guides him and listeners through a powerful exercise for reprogramming the brain with love-based perspectives. When we release what no longer serves us, we create space for healing, abundance, and infinite possibilities in this one life we get to live.
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In today’s episode, Oakley talks with a resilient client who faced down a particularly dark night filled with despair and thoughts of suicide. This young woman shares the story of the stressful external situations that seemed to perpetuate her suicidal idealizations, including a difficult relationship with her coworker and roommate. Oakley challenges her client and listeners to view all relationships as mirrors into the truth of our own psyches. Through this exercise, the young woman uncovers unhealed dynamics in her past relationship with her mother and the stories she believed about herself based on those early experiences.
One of humans’ basic fears sometimes leads us to wonder, “Am I lovable?” Oakley’s client speaks candidly about her struggle with isolation and feelings of invisibility which inevitably led to depression and hopelessness. When she recognized the danger of her situation, she reached out to trusted friends and signed up for therapy. Something within her wanted to prove to herself and the people in her life that she is stronger than whatever threatens her happiness and peace. By recognizing that making decisions in an emotional state is not conducive to wellness, she gave herself time to experience and express those dark emotions. Once she honored her authentic self, she was able to move through those times when life didn’t feel worth living. Opening ourselves up to be loved exactly how we are allows us to integrate parts of us we may have exiled from childhood trauma or familial conditioning. Self awareness helps us engage in the world as a whole, healed individual.
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988- Suicide and Crisis Line
Want to learn more or apply to be a guest on Sex, Drugs and Enlightenment?
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