"On rare occasions, the players themselves may die..."

"Being a dungeon master is not something you need to get perfect all at once. It’s not a sprint. Trying to do too much can lead to disappointment and there is no need for that."

"Are you, Jerry?"

“That’s King Jerry to you.”

“Mr King Jerry, we want your left toe.”

 “No!”

 ...and there we have roleplay.

"Poor goblin?!" 

"Just a figure of speech." 

"Do you have feelings for the goblin?"

 "..."

"So, after all the anticipation, it’s game night! You have your dice, you have some players, character sheets, an adventure and some notes… so now, it’s time to panic!"

"After getting through the iron bars, the next obstacle should be a dragon."

 "What!?" 

"Too soon?"

 "Mate!"

 "Beholder then?"

"Yeah, no matter how smart and sharp your friends are in real life, if they have not seen a character sheet before, for some reason, they turn into infants with no cognitive skills, zero common sense, who are completely devoid of reason."

"How many people have you seen choking on dice?"
"Way too many."
"How many is too many?"

"You are a young-minded, free-thinking, troubled soul, whose curiosity has lead you to the brink of running your first DnD session."