Lev’s family moved a lot. France, Japan, Malaysia — by high school, he had lived all over the world. But change has its downsides, & for Lev, it was a lack of safety. So, fear began to slowly creep into his life. It began with denial, reclusiveness, & obsession.

But when the fear threatened his relationship, he tried to face it with ayahuasca. Yet as the psychedelic began dissolving his sense of self, Lev didn’t let go.

He held on.

The experience was just too intense, & he couldn’t shake the sense that surrendering was a bad idea.

But Lev says he did learn to let go later.

It just wasn’t with psychedelics.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro clip

(03:15) Pressing eject on ego death.

(13:57) At least one reason Lev craved safety.

(17:11) The crisis.

(21:23) Climbing out.

(26:29) Are psychedelics worth the risk?

Secret Wilderness' theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.