Parents can hurt us like no one else.

The pain can go so deep we can’t imagine life without it.

It isn’t part of reality.

It is reality.

Can people heal this kind of pain?

That’s what we’ll explore over the next two episodes.

Jane loved her terrifying mother. When mom was home, she was a tornado of booze & abuse. When mom was gone, which was almost always, Jane would try to trick her into coming back.

This mixture of anger & neglect gave Jane a gaping wound.

One she’d try to fix for decades.

Part 1 is the story of how she used addiction to treat her pain.

Part 2 is the story of what she believes actually worked, including psychedelic therapy.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro clip

(02:15) Jane’s mother

(07:32) School was horrible.

(09:57) The two things that broke Jane.

(19:09) The last times.

(25:06) The baby.

(29:26) Hello, alcohol.

(33:51) Jane’s uncle, too.

(39:21) “Who the fuck is that?”

(44:39) Jane needs help.