When Eric was 10, he asked God to save him. 

Not from hell. From life. 

Because his father terrified him, his faith confused him, & there was pain inside he didn’t understand & wouldn’t go away. 

So Eric spent nearly 30 years trying to fix himself.

Marriage, money, sex, drugs, spirituality, & psychedelic therapy…

Could anything take away his pain?

Chapters

(00:00) Intro clip

(02:32) Eric cries out to god. 

(03:43)  Church of spies.

(05:48) The incident with his father he wrote down. 

(10:07)  “Traces” of sexual abuse.

(12:05) Chronic depression since childhood. 

(13:20) Eric gets married. 

(18:35) Becoming a “sinner.”

(21:55) The OxyContin incident. 

(25:25) The mushroom trip that changed things. 

(31:38) A new church, a spiritual world.  

(35:06) Peyote vs mushrooms. 

(37:17) Ayahuasca. 

(43:48) What has Eric learned?

Secret Wilderness' theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.