What happens when fights are totally one-sided?

In this episode, Sam and Gen open up about their fighting styles, how conflict shifted after the honeymoon phase, and the surprising arguments that actually brought them closer together. Returning fan favorite Cheddy joins to push the conversation deeper into boundaries, reflection, and what communication looks like post-divorce.

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

1:34 Sam & Gen's Fighting Styles When Married

2:34 Yelling vs the Silent Treatment

5:20 How Fighting Changed After the Honeymoon Stage

7:12 Why Avoidants Fight the Way They Do

8:38 How Sam and Gen Fight Now

12:17 Are You Guys Friends?

14:40 Colleagues vs Spouses

15:19 Arguments That Brought Us Closer

17:12 How Gen Got Through To Sam About Dressing Better

19:14 How Communication Improved Post-Separation

22:14 Fighting & Self-Reflection

23:21 Boundaries Around Communication

26:19 Sam vs Gen on Boundaries/Yelling

If you’ve ever wondered what really goes on behind closed doors in a marriage—and what happens after—this episode pulls no punches.

#SamAndGenGotDivorced #DivorcePodcast #Relationships

--

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This one starts calm. It doesn’t stay that way.

In what quickly became our most fiery episode yet, Sam and Gen open up about dating in the present tense - what it looks like now, how “situationships” complicate everything, and why modern dating feels like survival of the fittest.

From background checks and “Tinder Swindler” fears to why so many men end up looking like frauds, the conversation spirals into deeper questions: Do men and women lose what makes them attractive over time? Are men socialized to be insidious? And where does personal responsibility fit in?

By the end, sparks are flying - especially when the “getting back together” question comes up again.

Timestamps:
1:00 – Sam and Gen on dating now
5:01 – Situationships
9:35 – Background checks & avoiding Tinder Swindlers
12:50 – Dating is rough nowadays
13:40 – Why so many men end up frauds
15:10 – Do men and women lose what makes them attractive?
16:44 – Are men socialized to be insidious? (Sam vs. Gen)
23:59 – Sam and Gen on getting back together?
25:45 – The blowup: personal responsibility

Support the show by subscribing and sharing—it helps keep these raw conversations alive.

Keywords for the algo:
divorce podcast, dangerous dating, situationships, Tinder Swindler, modern dating struggles, men vs women, personal responsibility, getting back together, Sam and Gen Got Divorced

--

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Dating before you’re ready isn’t brave. It’s reckless.

In this episode, Sam and Gen strip away the excuses and tell the truth about how they used dating as a distraction - even before the ink on their divorce was dry. The fallout wasn’t abstract. It left scars - on themselves, and on the people they pulled in along the way.

Gen admits her pattern of checking out of relationships long before they were over. Samuel owns how he tried to medicate the shock of divorce with hedonism—burning through people and experiences like painkillers.

This is what it looks like when avoidance masquerades as connection, and when hurt people keep on hurting people.It’s uncomfortable. It’s honest. And for better of for worse... it’s exactly the kind of conversation that people going through divorce can relate to.

Support the show by subscribing and sharing - it keeps the conversation going!

Keywords for the algo:

divorce podcast, reckless dating after divorce, emotional fallout, relationship mistakes, dating too soon, unhealthy coping, checking out of relationships, hedonism and heartbreak, Sam and Gen Got Divorced

We’re back with the second half of our conversation on attraction—this time, Sam and Gen dive deeper into what attraction really means: is it about looks, energy, or something more?

Together with guest host Karen Jewels, the trio wrestle with whether different types of attraction matter, how attraction connects to forgiveness, and what “being attractive” looks like long after the spark fades.

There are laughs, disagreements, and some uncomfortable truths—especially when the conversation turns to whether they had enough attraction in their marriage, and what it feels like now, showing up as co-hosts. And yes, we even answer the question everyone’s been asking: are we getting back together?

📖

*We reference the study “Making the Connection: Social Bonding in Courtship Situations,” published in the American Journal of Sociology, which found that just four minutes of conversation can be enough to spark a meaningful connection.

Timestamps:
0:51 – How important is attraction?
2:00 – Different types of attraction
5:35 – How attraction unlocks forgiveness
07:15 – Attraction vs. compatibility (Sam & Gen disagree)
13:07 – Making yourself more attractive
15:40 – Did we have enough attraction?
17:15 – How long does attraction really take to develop?
20:46 – Love Is Blind — AD & Clay
23:06 – What attraction looks like now, podcasting together
27:18 – The big one: ARE WE GETTING BACK TOGETHER?

Support the show by subscribing and sharing—it helps keep these conversations alive.

Keywords for the algo:
divorce podcast, attraction in relationships, chemistry vs compatibility, forgiveness in marriage, love is blind AD and Clay, relationship advice, emotional safety, who carried the relationship, Sam and Gen Got Divorced

Attraction brought us together. Or did it?

In this episode, we dig into what drew us to each other in the first place—our “types,” our first trip together, and those early moments when curiosity turned into commitment. Spoiler: the answers aren’t what you’d expect.

With recording artist Karen Jewels guest hosting, things get even messier (and more honest) as we talk about how attraction fades, how it sometimes flips into repulsion, and what happens when emotional safety disappears inside a marriage. Along the way, we tackle whether you can recover from trauma in-marriage, how attraction shapes respect, and how much weight it should really carry.

It’s part funny (watch Gen absolutely fumble the intro), part vulnerable (Sam and Gen confess how they lost their feelings of safety in the marriage), and part raw truth about what attraction really means when the honeymoon ends.

Timestamps:

1:13 Gen struggles HARD with the podcast intro (funny)

04:09 Sam's normal type

05:30 Our first time traveling together

07:05 The moment Sam realized he was into Gen

08:36 Gen's normal type

09:40 How Gen realized she was into Sam

11:43 How that person's type affects your own attraction

13:00 Ways Gen (initially) made Sam feel safe

15:08 How attraction transitioned into commitment

18:10 Attraction becomes repulsion

20:46 How Sam made Gen feel unsafe in the marriage (trigger warning)

21:53 Can you come back from trauma in-marriage?

24:58 How Gen made Sam feel unsafe in the marriage

28:53 How much importance to place on attraction

Keywords for the algo:

divorce podcast, attraction in relationships, chemistry vs compatibility, when attraction fades, marriage dynamics, unsafe relationships, trauma in marriage, Sam and Gen Got Divorced

--

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The debate continues..

In part two, Sam and Gen go further into the intellectual dynamics of their marriage. Gen shares the sacrifices she made to create space for Sam’s ideas, and alongside guest hosts Jeff and Joel, Sam and Gen wrestle with whether formal education is really a marker of intellectual strength - or just a piece of paper.

The conversation moves beyond surface-level definitions into how intellect actually showed up in their relationship, how each of them made room (or didn’t) for the other’s perspective, and why being “smart” doesn’t always mean being supportive.

By the end, both Sam and Gen surprise each other by coming away with different answers than they started with about who REALLY carried the relationship intellectually.

Keywords for the algo:
divorce podcast, intellectual compatibility, education vs intelligence, relationship debates, intellectual sacrifice, marriage dynamics, emotional intelligence, thinking in relationships, who’s smarter in relationships, Sam and Gen Got Divorced--☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer about divorce or relationships? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/👨 Follow Joel:https://www.instagram.com/joelwitton/👀 Follow Gen:https://www.instagram.com/cornercounsellor/https://www.facebook.com/genevieve.alao.5/👋🏾 Follow Sam:https://www.instagram.com/samueltheconnector/https://www.linkedin.com/in/sr3ms/👩🏿‍🤝‍👨🏾Follow The Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/https://tiktok.com/@samandgengotdivorced

What happens when you mix love, intellect, and four people who aren’t afraid to call each other out?

Sam and Gen welcome back Jeff and Joel for a spirited debate on what it really means to “carry” a relationship intellectually. Is it about having the higher IQ? Or is it about using your brainpower to keep things healthy, functional, and moving forward?

Between playful jabs and unexpected tangents, the crew dives into whether couples need to be intellectual equals, how thinking styles clash , and why the smartest person in the room isn’t always the best partner. Samuel also shares what he’s learned from experiences far outside the comfort zone - including time spent in the slums of Manila.Keywords for the algo:
divorce podcast, relationship banter, intellectual compatibility, who’s smarter in relationships, love and intellect, emotional intelligence, friendship and debate, Sam and Gen Got Divorced

--

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In a special bonus episode, Jeff recounts a funny phone call mishap involving Samuel, leading to a lighthearted discussion about Samuel's unique way of saying Genevieve's name. The conversation takes a deeper turn as they explore a pre-marital disagreement about which church to attend, revealing underlying issues involving authority, gender roles, and support systems.

00:25 A Funny Miscommunication"

02:04 Church Decision Dilemma

05:19 Support and Community in Marriage

--

☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer about divorce, relationships, or emotional intelligence? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/

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It's late. We're tired. And somehow... that made this conversation even more honest.

In this second installment, Sam and Gen return with Timo to unpack what really defines financial leadership in a relationship. Is it just about who paid the bills? Or is there more to carrying the load than cash flow?

They divorced couple explore whether financial mismanagement disqualifies someone from being “the responsible one,” how living independently (or not) before marriage shaped their habits, and what they’ve each learned about emotional and strategic aspects of money.

Support the show by subscribing or sharing with someone navigating the mess and meaning of money in relationships.

Keywords for the algo:
relationship money, financial maturity, couples and money, living alone before marriage, money and emotional labor, financial leadership, financial mismanagement, divorce podcast, marriage money struggles, gender roles and finances

--

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In the final installment of this three-part series, Gen gets real about what it’s like to podcast with her ex—and what still gets under her skin.

Guest host Shereen doesn’t hold back, asking directly if Gen would ever consider getting back with Sam. Gen answers in full detail, unpacking her reasons, her boundaries, and the growth it took to get to that answer. She also offers her take on the deeper purpose behind this podcast and whether she’d recommend other couples try something similar.

And for the first time, Gen opens up in detail about her post-divorce dating life—sharing new, never-before-heard stories and the lessons that came with them.

If you’ve ever wondered how people actually move on (or if they really do), this one’s not to be missed.

Support the show by subscribing or sharing with someone navigating their own breakup.

Keywords for the algo:
divorce podcast, podcasting with your ex, post-divorce dating, relationship triggers, closure after breakup, emotional growth, co-hosting with your ex, Gen tells all, breakup recovery, emotional intelligence, getting back with your ex, boundary setting

--☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer about divorce, relationships, or emotional intelligence? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/👨 Follow Shereen:https://www.instagram.com/perspectivestudioproductions👀 Follow Gen:https://www.instagram.com/cornercounsellor/https://www.facebook.com/genevieve.alao.5/👋🏾 Follow Sam:https://www.instagram.com/samueltheconnector/https://www.linkedin.com/in/sr3ms/👩🏿‍🤝‍👨🏾Follow The Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/https://tiktok.com/@samandgengotdivorced

*Trigger Warning* - Discussion of ab*se

In Part Two of this deeply personal conversation, Gen continues to unpack the emotional and psychological weight of her marriage to Sam. She revisits the choice to marry him—what influenced it, what she ignored, and what it’s like to relive those decisions in hindsight.

Gen also opens up about her personal journey through therapy, what led her to become a therapist herself, and the lasting imprint Sam’s behavior left on her long after the relationship ended.

This episode is raw, reflective, and at times, difficult. Gen doesn’t shy away from sharing both the healthy and unhealthy ways she coped, offering a nuanced look at what healing can actually look like.

Support the show by subscribing, sharing, or sending this to someone who’s working through their own story.

Keywords for the algo:

divorce podcast, why women stay, marriage regret, becoming a therapist, therapy journey, emotional aftermath, breakup healing, relationship coping, mental health, boundaries, emotional labor, trauma recovery

--

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“I didn’t feel emotionally safe anymore.”

In this episode, Gen opens up about when things actually started feeling off, what made her say yes in the first place, and how she ignored the red flags.

A woman-to-woman conversation on boundaries, alignment, and what happens when the vibe changes after “I do.”

Support the show by subscribing or sharing!

Keywords for the algo:

divorce podcast, relationship red flags, marriage expectations, emotional safety, communication in relationships, boundaries, chemistry vs. compatibility, why women say yes, breakup healing, relationship dynamics, faith and marriage

--

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Money talks. And in this episode, Sam and Gen talk back.

In this conversation, the formerly married pair unpack who actually carried the financial weight in their marriage—and what that even means. Was it 50/50? What about the planning, the execution, the stress? They dive into how gender roles, cultural expectations, and unspoken assumptions all shaped their approach to money as a couple.

Topics include:

– Why 50/50 isn’t always fair

– Who thought they were leading financially (and who actually was)

– How culture shaped their beliefs about money

– The mental load of financial planning

– What they'd do differently now

Support the show by subscribing or sharing with someone who's bank account could use a little support ;)

For the algo:

divorce podcast, relationship money problems, financial planning, gender roles in marriage, who should pay, 50/50 relationships, money and power, marriage dynamics, emotional labor, cross-cultural couples, money and mental load

--

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The debate continues...

In this follow-up episode, Sam and Gen are joined once again by guest hosts Timo and Valeria to dig even deeper into the emotional dynamics that shaped their past relationship. Picking up right where they left off, the group explores how emotional responsibility was—or wasn’t—shared, how it felt at the time, and what each person has come to realize in hindsight.

Expect candid reflections, some surprising admissions, and moments that blur the line between healing and hilarity.

Support the show by subscribing and sharing!

Your listen helps keep honest conversations like this going.

Keywords for the algo:

divorce podcast, emotional labor, relationship dynamics, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, healing after divorce, marriage conflict, empathy, couples therapy podcast, breakup recovery

☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer about divorce, relationships, or emotional intelligence? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/

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Sam and Gen, like you've never seen them before...

In this podcast episode, hosts Sam and Gen welcome guest hosts Timo and Valeria for a lively debate about who was more of an emotional "pillar" in their marriage. The former couple delves into the emotional dynamics of their past relationship, exploring key pillars of emotional intelligence such as self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation. Both Sam and Gen provide candid reflections on their own experiences.

As you'll see, Sam and Gen have strongly differing opinions on emotional support in relationships, which they unpack in even greater detail in Pt. 2 (released in June 2025).

Please support the show by subscribing!

For the algo:

Divorce podcast, relationship advice, emotional intelligence, marriage dynamics, self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation.

☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer about divorce, relationships, or emotional intelligence? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/

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In the second round of our "Who Carried The Relationship?" series, Sam and Gen continue their deep dive into the spiritual aspects of their relationship. Together with Joel, our hosts delve deeper into the complexities of spiritual leadership and discuss the burden of spiritual expectations, the impact of addiction, and the challenges of merging lives with differing spiritual priorities.

Guest host Joel Witton helps Sam and Gen uncover the role of community, brutal transparency, and consistent spiritual practices in sustaining a relationship.

01:26 Living Together and Addiction Struggles

02:36 Spiritual Leadership and Equally Yoked

05:38 The Breaking Point and Confession

06:59 Reflecting on Spiritual Efforts

15:59 Advice for Their Younger Selves

Please support the show by subscribing!

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Exciting news! We're starting a new series called "Who Carried The Relationship?" In this batch of episodes, Sam and Gen will vote on, then debate, who they believe did a better job in their marriage at leading in various areas (finances, emotional intelligence, spirituality, and more).In today's episode, Sam and Gen discuss the significance of a spiritual connection in relationships, highlighting how shared spirituality can form a robust foundation and exploring various interpretations of spirituality beyond conventional religious practices.Sam and Gen examine the necessity of aligning faith and relationships. They discuss how differing spiritual beliefs can affect marriage dynamics and share personal anecdotes reflecting the influence of their shared Christian faith on their marriage, both positively and negatively.Our guest host Joel, who has known Gen since high school, opens up a debate on whether spiritual responsibilities should be equally shared.Sam and Gen also talk through some of the distinctions between religion and spirituality, and offer advice on supporting a partner’s spiritual growth. Please support the show by subscribing!☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/Please support the show by subscribing!👨 Follow Joel:https://www.instagram.com/cornercounsellor/https://www.facebook.com/genevieve.alao.5/👀 Follow Gen:https://www.instagram.com/cornercounsellor/https://www.facebook.com/genevieve.alao.5/👋🏾 Follow Sam:https://www.instagram.com/samueltheconnector/https://www.linkedin.com/in/sr3ms/👩🏿‍🤝‍👨🏾Follow The Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/https://tiktok.com/@samandgengotdivorced

In the second part of this discussion, Sam, Jeff and Gen uncover how everyday nuisances like stray socks can escalate into bigger issues if ignored. You'll also hear more of Sam's personal story of working through addiction and its effect on his marriage.

Sam and Gen go deep on how unresolved minor issues might snowball into major obstacles, and why intimacy is helpful for enduring such challenges. Together with Jeff , the trio delve into strategies for conflict resolution, emphasizing open communication and shared responsibilities and displaying how both vulnerability and humor can be healing forces that help to rebuild intimacy after conflicts.

Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/

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Jeff is back! In this heated episode, Sam and Gen debate with Jeff about whether seemingly insignificant habits or behaviors from one spouse can gradually undermine a healthy marriage.

Sam, Gen, and Jeff delve into the importance of communication, understanding, and small adjustments that can make a significant difference in relationship dynamics, ultimately aiming to provide listeners with actionable insights to foster stronger connections with their partners.

Additionally, Sam and Gen share personal anecdotes and advice on recognizing and addressing these minor issues before they escalate, empowering couples to create a more harmonious and supportive marital environment.

Throughout the discussion, they also touch on the role of empathy and vulnerability in resolving conflicts and nurturing lasting love, encouraging audiences to actively engage in introspective practices that strengthen their partnerships over time.

Ultimately, this episode seeks to highlight that by being mindful of everyday behaviors, couples can cultivate a deeper emotional intimacy that enhances their journey together.

Please support the show by subscribing!

☎️ Have a question you’d like Sam and Gen to answer? DM us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/samandgengotdivorced/

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Why are WOMEN petty?

In this episode, Gen shares her perspective on why it is more societally acceptable (and understandable) when women demonstrate pettiness after a breakup. The former couple also share their newfound, post-divorce tools for avoiding resentment and the resulting pettiness, as well as a recent conflict that they had and how they dealt with it in healthier ways.

This week's host: Valeria C.

https://www.instagram.com/valeriaa.cravioto/

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