Ten years of Safe as Milk comes to an end in this, our final episode of the show. Mike and Adam look way back to "best of" picks of every year and pick their "best of ever" that have stood the test of time. Sprinkle in some show trival from our decade long run, two shared cocktails, a load of laughs, and you have our series finale. Enjoy!
Big thanks to everyone that ever listened and to every guest that ever joined us for an episode.
Keep keeping up with Mike at www.falfa.com and Adam at www.180lunches.com
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It's that time of year, time to pick our favorites of 2024:
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Aged hand reaches out,
Wild bison stands, breath like steam—
Quiet, reckless trust.
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glass in the shower?
that is a bad idea
keep the limes steamy
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Jake's heart pounded as he raced through the hospital corridors toward the ER. His thoughts were a whirl of concern and confusion. Theo had always been the calm and collected one, but hearing him so panicked had sent Jake into overdrive. He burst through the double doors of the ER, scanning the chaotic scene for Theo.
Theo stood near the entrance, his face a mask of desperation. When he saw Jake, he rushed forward, grabbing his arm. "Jake, it's my brother, Clint. Something's terribly wrong. Please, you have to help him!"
They sprinted down the hall together, the fluorescent lights blurring overhead. They reached the operating room door, and Jake pushed it open, immediately confronted with the intense scene inside. Nurses and doctors were working frantically around the operating table where Clint lay, his body convulsing as the medical team tried to revive him.
Jake's x-ray vision activated instinctively, and he saw it—the shadowy figure from his nightmares, a dark mass clutching Clint's heart. It squeezed and pulsed with malevolent intent, disrupting the rhythm of the organ with every contraction.
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Theo's insight about Jake's x-ray vision had struck a chord. Maybe it wasn't just a curse but a part of him that needed understanding and management. The trip to the cabin was a reminder to take care of himself amidst his extraordinary abilities.
Back at the hospital, Jake approached his patients with a newfound empathy and patience, grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in their lives. The memory of the dark figure still lingered in the back of his mind, but it no longer held the power to paralyze him with fear.
Time passed and things fell into a rhythm until one evening at the end of a shift. His phone rang. It was Theo. He was panicked, speaking in short bursts. He wasn’t himself.
“Jake, where are you? I need you in the ER. Please, it’s my brother!”
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Realizing the toll that their demanding careers had taken on them, Dr. Theo Evans decided to plan a getaway for himself and Jake, hoping it would provide the kind of break they both desperately needed. Theo chose a secluded cabin by a serene lake in the mountains, a place where they could escape the pressures of their daily lives.
The trip began with a scenic drive, winding through lush forests and past breathtaking vistas. Jake, with his newfound ability to see beneath the surface, found himself fascinated by the hidden layers of the landscape, sharing his unique insights with Theo as they drove. This sparked lively conversations and laughter, setting a positive tone for their retreat.
Upon arriving at the cabin, they were greeted by the tranquil beauty of the lake and the crisp mountain air. The first few days were spent in quiet relaxation. Mornings started with coffee on the deck, watching the sunrise paint the sky in hues of orange and pink. They went hiking along the forest trails, Jake marveling at the intricate structures of trees and rocks, while Theo enjoyed the simple pleasure of nature’s beauty.
Afternoons were filled with fishing on the lake. Jake’s ability gave them an edge, ensuring they caught enough fish for dinner each night. Evenings were spent around a campfire, sharing stories from their pasts, roasting marshmallows, and stargazing.
As the days passed, both men felt the stress and exhaustion melt away. Theo, ever the caregiver, found joy in seeing Jake relaxed and happy. For Jake, the trip was a reminder of the importance of balance and the value of friendship. By the end of their stay, they returned to their demanding lives rejuvenated, with a renewed sense of purpose and camaraderie.
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Dr. Theo Evans grew up in a small town in the Midwest, the son of a dedicated family physician and a compassionate nurse. Inspired by his parents’ dedication to healing, Theo decided early on that he wanted to follow in their footsteps. He excelled in school and secured a scholarship to a prestigious medical school, where he quickly distinguished himself with his keen intellect and steady hands.
During his residency, Theo developed a particular interest in complex surgical cases, drawn by the challenge and the opportunity to make a tangible difference in his patients’ lives. His talent and dedication did not go unnoticed, and he was soon recruited by one of the top hospitals in the country, where he honed his skills further under the mentorship of renowned surgeons.
Despite his professional success, Theo maintained a humble demeanor, always prioritizing his patients’ well-being above all else. His personal life, however, was less successful. Long hours and the emotional toll of his work strained his relationships, and he eventually found himself single and deeply immersed in his career.
It was during a particularly grueling week in the emergency room that Theo met Jake, a poker-player-turned-doctor with a mysterious gift of x-ray vision. Intrigued by Jake’s unconventional path and extraordinary ability, Theo took him under his wing. He quickly recognized that Jake’s superhuman talent came with its own set of burdens. Seeing the signs of exhaustion in his new friend, Theo’s natural empathy and medical expertise drove him to intervene, hoping to help Jake find a balance between his extraordinary abilities and the very human need for rest and recuperation.
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Rattled by the appearance of the dark figure, Jake found himself unable to shake the feeling of dread that had settled over him like a suffocating blanket. For a week, he avoided the hospital, unable to face the possibility of encountering the sinister presence again. The staff grew increasingly concerned, their calls and messages flooding Jake's phone as patients continued to pile up, desperate for his expertise.
Amidst the relentless barrage of notifications, one message stood out—a text from Dr. Theo Evans, a colleague who had become a trusted friend during Jake's time at the hospital. Concern evident in his words, Theo expressed his worry for Jake's well-being and insisted on paying him a visit. Reluctantly, Jake agreed, his apprehension outweighed by a glimmer of hope that Theo might provide some answers.
The next day, Theo arrived at Jake's apartment, his expression a mix of sympathy and determination. Sensing Jake's unease, Theo wasted no time in getting to the heart of the matter. As Jake recounted his encounter with the dark figure, Theo listened intently, his brow furrowing with concern. When Jake finished speaking, Theo offered a reassuring smile, though it did little to ease Jake's troubled mind.
"Jake, I understand that this must be terrifying for you," Theo began, his voice gentle yet firm. "But I believe that what you're experiencing is simply a manifestation of an overtaxed brain. Your x-ray vision is an incredible gift, but it's also placing an immense strain on your body and mind. I think it's crucial that we conduct some tests at the hospital to better understand what's happening."
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Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, as Jake's work at the hospital continued unabated. He became a fixture within the medical staff, his x-ray vision proving invaluable in diagnosing conditions that had eluded traditional methods. Patients from all walks of life sought out his expertise, grateful for the chance at accurate diagnoses and timely treatments. Jake found solace in their gratitude, his sense of purpose renewed with each life he touched.
Yet, as time passed, Jake began to notice subtle changes within himself. The strain of constantly using his x-ray vision weighed heavily on his body and mind. Headaches became a frequent companion, and his vision blurred intermittently, leaving him disoriented and vulnerable. Despite the toll it took on him, Jake couldn't bring himself to turn away from those in need. He pushed himself to the limit, convinced that his sacrifice was a small price to pay for the lives he was saving.
However, amidst the chaos of the hospital, a new threat emerged—one that Jake had never anticipated. A shadowy figure lurked in the periphery of his vision, their presence ominous and foreboding. At first, Jake dismissed it as a trick of his overtaxed mind, but as the sightings grew more frequent, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.
Then, one fateful night, as Jake made his rounds through the deserted corridors, the figure materialized before him, their form obscured by darkness. With a chilling voice, they revealed themselves as a being drawn to Jake's powers, seeking to harness them for their own nefarious purposes. Jake realized with a sinking heart that his x-ray vision had attracted not only admiration but also envy and malevolence. And as the villain's sinister laughter echoed through the empty halls, Jake knew that his greatest challenge had only just begun.