We're ending the first season of Rude Dudes on a note that makes everyone mad; Fate - The Winx Saga!
Everything about this show SCREAMS us, but also everything is SO. WRONG. They took one of the most colourful, beach kids cartoon and makes it a London rainy Hogwarts style garbage of David Yates' wet dream! The specialists are useless boys, they created characters in lieu of keeping amazingly establish characters, and magic was shown through Twilight eyes??? My lord, this show needed something in the first few episodes, because the back half really SLAPPED!
It was sexy, it was sloppy, there was a three-way on Instagram live?! While we STAN Beatrix, we wanted Cloud Tower! We want a witchy headmistress who hates fairies! If you're gonna go gritty, give us the only goth aesthetic that was in the original! Don't make Stella BLIND A GIRL!!
Will Farrah come back from her neck snap? Is Sam hurt? WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?! We hope, YES, and I DON'T KNOW HOPEFULLY DO BETTER IN SEASON TWO!!!
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Time for another anime-inspired property, and one that falls into the same pits as Blood of Zeus...Alita: Battle Angel!
Now, we deciphered a lot of this movies short comings come out of just being a pretty faithful adaptation to the original OVA (minus Chiren NOT being completely naked when she fixes Grewishka, which rude). Just felt like in a world where we're familiar with this genre of dystopian anime, you gotta at least brush on some of the established tropes to deepend the structure, if only to appease the western audiences! I know that's a little bit of a problematic statement, but big Blockbuster movies aren't for hardcore anime nerds! There's a happy medium with appeasing the hardcore fanbase while also sacrificing to make it a stronger western story.
I mean, come on, this movie moved simultaneously too fast and too slow! We did NOT need a full as 10 minute chunk where they played NOT BLITZBALL! They also omitted a lot of Hugo's backstory? But kept a lot of Alita eating...Whatever, WILD choices, and DEFINITELY not enough action! MORE ROBOT GUTS, and more Robot FUCKS for sure!!
Is Alita too much of a simp for Hugo? Is this faithful adaptation doing a deserve for a western audience? IS THIS THE BEST WESTERN ADAPTATION OF AN ANIME TO EXIST?! Yes, yes, and YES WE DUNNO TELL US IF YOU FIND A BETTER ONE!
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Sometimes fanfiction can spawn amazing creations... Other times, it can destroy the fabric of all that you hold dear... This is one of those times (which one? yes). Tackling our first anime with the not-so cult classic, Blood of Zeus!
You know how Greek Gods are supposed to be sexy and fuck all the time? Well, imagine you take all of that out and replace it with more gore and exposition! That's what you get with this. But like, not even the exposition we needed or wanted, we just got this show trying to tell us that Zeus was a good guy when that is DEFINITELY not the case! Poor Hera, we wish her and her crows (but should've been peacocks) the best in their future endevors. But Heron was a b-list Hercules and we all know it. It's why they needed to add all the gore to make him seem interesting... But we love to see a beautiful women floating in a river only ot get SIDELINED WITH HER GUTS FALLING OUT!!
Will Zeus ever stop fucking other women? Will Seraphine ever NOT kneel? WILL WE GET MORE OF KOFI AND EVIOS BEING GAY?! No, no, and WE CAN ONLY HOPE!
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HAI YA!! We're kicking into a new episode of Rude Dudes with a new Netflix/old YouTube Red (Originals) show, Cobra Kai!
While we all LOVE this show, we can definitively say season 3 is a little nutty (but in all the right ways). Kreese gets an interesting backstory where we find out football bros bullied him into the army cause his mom committed suicide, then makes his war crime snake pit brawling his personality?! Like, he's a cartoon villain, but with good reason! Also poor... Everyone?! This show has no character that isn't dealing with immense trauma, and they are literally taking it out on each other through Karate?? Maybe making East LA a Karate footloose zone isn't a bad idea...
But this season hit more nostalgic sequel points with Daniel's crazy irresponsible trip to Okinawa! While we loved to see Kumiko and Chozen coming back in major ways, we didn't appreciate the immense flex of privilege. Like Sam... We know a sob story doesn't give you an excuse to be a bully, but Tory's goin' through it and Karate's all she has!!
Will Johnny Lawrence ever get his shit together? Will Robbie learn appropriate timing to never walk in on bad news? WILL ELISABETH SHUE EVER LEARN KARATE?! No, no, and RIP NO BUT WE WANT THAT FOR HER!!
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February, a time for love, a time for period pieces, and definitely a time for fucking. Which is why we're kicking February off with the show of the SEASON, Bridgerton!
If you're hoping to learn some practical Sex Education, this is not the show for you. If you're looking for how to creatively sound while orgasming, you're in the right spot. This show's got so much fucking, and it's all so loud! And Simon goes down on Daphne, some would say too much, but we are saying the right amount.
Though a lot of the conflict in this show would've been resolved if ANYBODY told the woman how sex works. Like come on, mom's; get it together. You're worse than Anthony trying to decide whether he should stay with Sienna (leave that poor girl alone or give her all your money!) But love conquers all, even if it takes a tryst in a garden to ignite the flame and a dick ride to solidify!
Are the costumes historically accurate? Will Daphne ever get her pigs in a row? Will we be fucking to the string quartet version of Wildest Dreams and Wildest Dream only? No, no, and YES!!!!!
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It's the end of our DCEU month, and we're rounding it out with the newest and most controversial entry into the Universe, Wonder Woman 1984 (styled WW84).
We had such high hopes for this movie... Unfortunately, it really missed its mark. While we LOVED the double villains, the messaging was muddled more than Kristen Wiig's briefcase! This was just not a movie for our time of 2021... While we stan Patty Jenkins, this was less of a Ragnarok and more of a Dark World if you know what we mean. There should've been at least 35% more Kristen Wiig and 5% less Pedro Pascal. Even them out! Have more friendship moments! This would've been that much more of a fun time!
Did Alistair LIVE in the office? Can Wonder Woman turn things invisible? WAS THAT MAN CONSCIOUS DURING THE TIME STEVE TOOK OVER HIS BODY?! Yes, Yes?! and WE HOPE NOT IS HE OKAY?!
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We're DIVING back into our DCEU month with what is the arguable best movie of the universe, Aquaman!!!!!
While we loved the explosions and the jellyfish dress, we were surprised at the unsexiness of this movie! Like, Jason should've been shirtless the ENTIRE MOVIE?!?! And Amber Heard was done dirty the entire movie! The only saving grace of this movie was weirdly Nicole Kidman. She went from being a fun cameo to being a pretty competent action star? WHO WOULD'VE KNOW! This movie was trying to do to much for too long... They should've had one villain, and more deaged Willam Dafoe as Tom Hiddleston. Anyways... We talk a lot about deep sea aquatic life and Bridget's many travel across the world. Unfortunately, none of them were in the dessert in linens, but we'll move past that...
Can we get more DadManta? Can Aquaman speak Italian? HOW DO THEY POOP?! NO RIP, Probably?! AND THEY JUST GO????
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Back with another DCEU movie, and it's the one we all wish we could forget which is... Suicide Squad!
Honestly, James Gunn really miss fired (boom) with this one, all he had to do was do Guardians... THATS IT! Instead, he over shot and under delivered in a wild self-serious movie that's basically the embodiment of an angry dad TRYING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!
Viola Davis deserved much more than to be just a narrator, and Margot Robbie deservedly became a star after this movie. Other than that, throw out everything else. Except Katana, she's got our backs.
What was the point of Slipknot? What were those eye men things?! WHY WERE THERE BABY ONSIES?!?! To die, unexplained, and WE DON'T KNOW SOMEONE SAVE THAT BABY!!
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New year, same dudes! We're ringing in the new year with a re-recording of a lost episode, Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice!
In all honesty, we don't REALLY talk about the movie all that much, but set up the new year, which will be all DCEU movies. We talk about Zack Snyder's weird nerd boy obsession with toxic masculinity and 9/11; Marvel's history of executing competent super hero movies; Jeremy Irons being the hottest one (but also is a surrogate character for Snyder himself?! Oh boy...).
That being said, this movie was just a nightmare hot mess of a thing. Laurence Fishburne can't tell Clark Kent is actually hot, Bruce Wayne can't get over his alarmist fear of Superman, and lets not even talk about Lex Luthor (aka, Joker lite). The only redeemable part was Wonder Woman, and they really blew their loads in the trailer when they didn't have to reveal her!!! Anyways, this movie is sepia trailer bait straight camp, and we love to see it!
Will Lois Lane ever learn to become a proper journalist? Will Batman ever stop terrorizing marginalized communities? WHAT ARE THESE BEETLES?! No, Never, and WE DON'T KNOW WHERE'S RINGO?!?!
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As 2020 comes to a close, so does our month of Holiday Classics! And to end it off, we're doing probably what is the cutest thing we've ever seen, Dash & Lily!
Look, we know we're supposed to do "trash", and we fully expected for this to come out strong on that front. What we were surprised by was how much this show slapped! From the fun challenges to the conveniently employed family members, this show is going to turn into maybe a holiday rewatch?
Lily is by far all of our queens, Dash is maybe the hottest teen to have ever lived, and we LOVE Boomer!! Who wouldn't want a supportive best friend who gives you pizza! But Grandpa was bad, and so was Langston! Like, get over your insecurities, buddies... Lifes to short!
Were the Challah Back Boyz founded at Camp Rock? Was Dash's Dad the himbo of this show? Has Ms Basil E murdered before? Yes, yes, and YES SLAY QUEEN!!
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We've (now?) officially hit the Holiday Season™️, and we're still rolling along in the snow with our penultimate Holiday episode; The Princess Switch: Switched Again!
Honestly, what a sequel! Vanessa Hudgens has blessed us with another Christmas Classic! This one even more ripe with zany antics and MORE PRINCESSES? Only this one's EVIL?! She's really turning into the Austin Powers of our time..
Though the plots as convoluted as ever, the stakes are SUPER HIGH! TREASON?! This is could've easily been the CROWN but at Christmas, and we're surprised no one got murdered.
Will Edward ever keep the thoughts at bay? What happened to OG Olivia? IS SANTA BORIS JOHNSON?! Probably not, we don't know save her! OF COURSE OH NO CHRISTMAS IS CAPITALISM!!
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Week Three of Holiday December Classics, and today we're pulling out a REAL classic with the 1998 Holiday hit, Jack Frost!
If we can take a minute to respect not only Jim Henson's puppet work, but the CGI integration... It was truly something... Also, what we feel is a Michael Keaton award winning performance?! Screw Batman, this guy is the definitive Jack Frost! Bridget and Candace BAWLED their eyes out at this movie, but Chris?... A true heart of ice and snow.
Was the whole movie Charlie slowly deteriorating from trauma? Was Gronic fucking Kelly Preston? WHERE WAS NICK FROST?! Probably, probably, and NOT IN THIS MOVIE SADLY!!!
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We're keep up our Holiday themed movies of December and diving right into this clearly military funded movie, Operation Christmas Drop! Which is based off of the VERY REAL OPERATION CHRISTMAS DROP THAT HAPPENS IS GUAMA WHAT?!
As the first "Hallmark" movie of this run, it was a paint by numbers beauty of a thing! Kat Grahmn is a no nonsense chief of staff? Cutting military budgets for a Trumpublican Congresswoman? Is this how America works? Let us know!!
This movie was as hollow and as empty of a gesture as giving your purse filled with adult things to a poor girl. From the cardboard boxes slamming into the ocean to that band pounding those Tubular Bells, this movie hit us in ways we did not expect... but loved? (Except for Candace, she hated it!)
Was Andrew played by various Trumps? Why didn't that gecko talk? DID SANTA GIVE A WOMAN A YEAST INFECTION?! TBD, missed opportunity, and YES OMG SANTA!!!
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December is HERE (barely)! And it's time for our first Rude Dude Holiday Take Down! All December, we're taking down all the latest Holiday media. Today, we're doing a catch all holiday movie... Holidate!
Boy... Was this movie... a clunker. Why? Because NEITHER OF THESE LEADS ARE GOOD PEOPLE!!!! Seriously, the fact that these two HOT people can't get a date for the holidays shows how bad these two people are. They also ruin the point of a Holidate because... they said Holidate WAY too many times?
Emma Roberts is broken up over the whole first have over a guy that is pretty much just Emmett in Paris? And Jackson (discount Hemsworth) is a egomaniac with an eating disorder who hates women. It was really fitting that the most romantic part of this movie was full of shit. What another McG train wreak. Anyways... Kirsten Chenowith and Faarooq forever
What was Arizona's deal with her kids? Will they ever NOT remind everyone that they're JUST Holidates?? Was Wally a serial killer? Post parton depression treat it seriously! NO BECAUSE THATS THE MOVIE (waka waka). and ABSOLUTELY!
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Time for one of Bridgets favourite things, sexy teen boy ghosts! This week we're covering the Kenny Ortega's masterpiece, Julie and the Phantoms!... We know it's for kids, we don't care!
Inspired by the Nickelodeon Brazil show Julie e os Fantasmas, but FAR different. The furry suits would've made more sense because... The rules of this world are all over the place! These boys are from 1995, yet there's NO flannel, they play pop punk, and they don't question anything?? But all the phantoms are simultaneously our sons and boyfriends, because EVERYONE wants to get with these ghosts, and lordt we want that GHOST BONE!
For a show with no kissing, it's so h*rny and we STAN!
Madison Reyes is also a god damned star, and Julie is the best character. She's just great.... Great.... Great...
Carrie is EVERYTHING and also the true devil (and maybe the secret heroes?)
Who's Julie's mom? Will Cheyenne Jackson make MORE sense in the next season? WILL LUKE EVER WEAR SLEEVES? Dunno, probably not? and NEVER!
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Oh god, you knew it was coming... There's no way we can talk about trash TV without talking about the show everyone LOVES to hate (except for Chris' Mom??)... Emily in Paris.
Honestly... Just why? Why did we watch it? How did we get through it? It's truly such a mystery as to why this show was put out at a time like this... No one is good at their jobs, everyone's horny for Emily, and all the men are the same man stuck out of time!!! Darren Star, you mad man... Thank god for Pierre Cadeau and his AMAZING energy. We'll also be starting a petition to get the Mindy project done RIGHT with ALL HER FRIENDS!!
Why wasn't Camille Bi?! How come Emily didn't know "La Vie En Rose"? How come Chris is obsessed with Antoine so much?! All the answers; WE DON'T KNOW! (Except deep down... we know).
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No Riverdale this time... But we're still watchin' trash!
Today, we're diving into the horror comedy film duology that is the Babysitter franchise... The movies that ask "what if the babysitter that is your best friend and you're horny for was actually a demon and tried to kill you?!" Honestly, what a directionless Scott Pilgrim rip off this was! From gory kills to teenage thrills, this franchise could do with a bit of commitment and maybe even a BASIC coherent plot structure. McGee's coasting along on this one... Maybe even hitting cruise control. Ultimaltely, watch it for Bee's Gambit (better than the queens, even?!), and we'll tune into the third one.
Will Max ever chill the fuck out?! Will the Magnum condom ever pay off? HOW IS IS COLE, REALLY?! No, NO, and lol, anyones guess at this point.
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WHATS UP RUDE DUDES?!
Welcome to the new podcast! We, unfortunately (but unsurprisingly), have been beaten brutal by Riverdale. It's got nothing to do with our love of the show and... Everything to do with our hatred for the show. So after much consideration, and a brief hiatus; we've put an end to the era of Riverdale Rude Dudes.
Fret not, as we close out this chapter with a final episode on Riverdale, going through all of season 4! It's also a GREAT opportunity to showcase the NEW PODCAST, RUDE DUDE TAKE DOWNS! Just because we're not doing Riverdale, doesn't mean we can't be rude dudes! So transition into that new new, and get it rolling!
We discuss the second popularity of the Stonewall plotline and conclude that Donna slaps harder the second time (and Brett is still a little bitch). We also get into Archie's vigilante antics with Dodger and his run-ins with Donna (in the comic titled Archie and the Splodin Turkey). Ron also gets a new sister, but never any new problems (get her away from Hiram!). Cheryl also gaslights Toni (and Toni just takes it). And finaly... We discuss Barchie... The thing that really just put us over the edge.
Is Mr Honey good? Will we ever find out what happened to Johnathan? WAS BARCHIE A GOOD IDEA?! NO, NO, AND OF COURSE NOT!!
New take on a classic, hope you enjoy the new format and stay on this rude ride with us!
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We’re going UP UP AND AWAYYYY (from reality) with this episode! Sharks have been JUMPED!
Betty is closing in on the Farm after they’ve executed so many FBI agents, but they still constantly remain one step ahead of her (and the FBI)?! Things heat up when Polly comes back, but with an EXTRA SPECIAL SURPRISE! Meanwhile, Veronica is having issues with her name change, and Hiram comes out of jail to tell her he still owns her? Archie is also hit with the reality that small business ventures aren’t really all that profitable, but the local arcade is trading in drug favours for free video games and NO ONE’S DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! Jughead adjusts to his life at stone wall prep, and finds out his roommate is good ol’ MOOSE! But Moose warns him about Brett, because he’s a cartoonish villain who cannot accept criticism. And Cheryl... Oh Cheryl... Needs so much help, but refuses to let anyone to go into her secret prayer room...
Will the rats turn a corpse into a fabulous three course meal? Will Jughead ever learn about socks on doorknobs? WILL THE FBI EVER GET IT’S SHIT TOGETHER?! Yes, no, and NEVER!
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Sadness is over, and we’re going RIGHT back to bonkersville USA!
School’s starting up, and Archie wants Mad Dog to get an education and be set off on the right path, but maily wants him to join the Bulldogs. But Reggie WON’T have it, because the only one letting him have it is his dad? Remember how Reggie keeps crying out for help? Well now we can FINALLY address it! Also, a group orgy makes the core four late for school, only to encounter a scoulding from the new principal, Mr Honey. And not even Cheryl can sweeten this bee up, and Honey bans ALL DANCES. So Cheryl throws her own after consulting with Go (Jason). Jughead also gets an offer to join a fancy rich prep school, but is VERY uninterested until FP MAKES HIM GO!!
Will Cheryl ever call the electrician so they don’t use up the candelabra? Will Reggie confront his father? WHAT WAS IN JUGHEADS CUP?! No, YAS, and LIQUOR YOU IDIOTS!
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