Chumi Friedman Director of HUG, a division of A Time for those who have experienced perinatal or infant loss · My sister-in-law had a stillborn. The one-year mark is coming up. Should I say something to her? · My brother lost an eleven-year-old son. But he was very special-needs. His bar mitzvah is coming up; they wouldn’t have made a real celebration anyway. Should I say something? · Does it make sense that my sist...

Mrs. Esther Gendelman, MS, LPC, ACS Mrs. Esther Gendelman’s passion is to help people foster meaningful relationships. There is no such thing as a perfect person, which means there’s also no such thing as a perfect relationship, although some relationships feel rock solid. Yet loss can impact even the strongest relationships with ripples of uncertainty. A mother can feel so confused as she watches her daughter navigate the pain of losing a child.Where is her place in all this? And does her p...

Hillel Fuld was preparing for Yom Kippur. Although he had heard the news about a terror attack in the neighborhood where his brother lived, he didn’t know that his brother was the victim. Because… well, these things only happen to other people. Except that sometimes they can happen to us. During this time, when our hearts are with our brothers in Eretz Yisrael, when we all need to work on our emunah and we wonder why the world hates us, Mr. Fuld reminds us that halachah b’yaduah she’Eisav son...

Rabbi Naftoli Kassorla, Speaker, Teacher and Rebbi in Yerushalayim Imagine getting an unexpected call informing you that your brother died. Presumably, you would always remember it as one of the most difficult phone calls of your life. But what happens if you haven’t spoken to that brother or had any kind of real relationship with him in years? For valid reasons Rabbi Kassorla had found it simply impossible to maintain a relationship with him. In fact, Rabbi Kassorla was told tha...

Mrs. Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW Mrs. Mindy Blumenfeld is positive and upbeat. She is smiley, and she makes you smile. You would never know that she lost her youngest son Hillel to cancer. Although she has been profoundly impacted by her loss, she won’t let the pain bring her down into negativity. She started writing about Hillel as a means of finding comfort. But really, her journey with writing about her son began with the puppets she created when Hillel was first diagnosed at age six. Faced wi...

Mr. Broyde, who happens to be my first cousin, discusses his struggles and pain after losing an uncle, aunt and cousin who were an integral part of his family. He was part of the same tragedy that was my life. But as Mr. Aaron Broyde says repeatedly, it was from a seat further back. No one realized how much the loss of his relatives affected him because he was a nineteen-year-old bachur learning in yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael during that time. He had stomach problems. The Israeli water is easy t...

Mrs. Barbara Bensoussan Novelist and well-known contributor to frum publications The young mother checked in to the hospital to have a baby. Nothing out of the ordinary. But this time, nothing went as expected. Not many people die from childbirth today, but Mrs. Benssousan’s daughter Miriam did. When her birth experience went awry, the doctors worked all night, desperately trying to ensure a happy outcome. They saved the baby. But the mother remained in a coma for the next four months until s...

My Brother TuliMrs. Soroh Leah (Rickman) Cohen The Getting Used to Having a Pebble in Your Shoe podcast with Rabbi Benjy Rickman has gotten many hundreds of views. If you listen, you will understand why. When his son Tuli passed away, his world ended. The pain was so intense, it seemed to him that life must have stopped for the whole world. How could life move forward when his beloved son had died? But life did move forward, and Rabbi Rickman learned how to move forward with his pa...

Rabbi Yitzchok Rubin Rav of Adas Aish Kodesh in Manchester England She was Rebbetzin Rubin, but she was known as Chaiky. She had a way with people. Everyone who knew her felt loved and embraced by her – because she loved life, and she loved the people in her life. Whether it was her congregants or the ladies from the exercise class she gave, they all felt how deeply she cared. Chaiky was a powerhouse of a person. She was always on the go, yet somehow had time for everyone. She was on th...

Rabbi Henoch Plotnik Rosh Mesivta of Kesser Yonah, well-known speaker, actively involved with LINKS The Torah recognizes the pain of loss, and the Torah gives us guidelines for navigating loss with the laws of shivah and aveilus, many of which correspond to the state of the neshamah of the niftar. There is much that we deduce about loss from the Torah, whether from Avraham Avinu, Aharon HaKohen or Dovid HaMelech. Rabbi Plotnik talks to us about loss through the lens of the Torah, sharing stor...

Mrs. Devorah Schendler, author of Compatible with Life Giving birth to a stillborn baby was so painful. Yet looking back, Mrs. Devorah Schendler saw how that experience strengthened her emunah muscle for the next great challenge – giving birth to a baby diagnosed with Trisomy-13, a syndrome that is incompatible with life. For seven-and-a-half weeks, the Schendlers threw themselves into taking care of their sick baby. At the same time, they had children at home who also needed their mommy; Mrs...

Mrs. Rachel Stein Prolific author, most recently of the book Uplift She was a young mother with a houseful of children, and at this difficult time in her life, she felt torn in too many directions. Should she stay with her sick and dying mother or go home to her sick children who need a mommy to care for them? It seemed as if her mother was holding her own, so she left the hospital to be with her children for a bit. While still in the car on the way home, she got the call. Her mother ha...

Mrs. Feige Steinmetz Mother of Dovi Steinmetz, who perished in the Meron tragedy Lag Ba’Omer taf shin peh aleph (2021) is seared into our collective Jewish memory. It was on that day that a stampede took place in Meron, resulting in death and injury for many people. At first it seemed that Dovi was safe. Then his parents were unsure. And then it was confirmed: Dovi had been killed in Meron. How does a mother handle such news? Mrs. Steinmetz was in shock. It made no se...

Rabbi Chaim Ellis, LCSW He was only four years old when his mother died. His memories of her are vague, and most of them are built from the pictures he has seen and the stories people have shared. A year-and-a-half after his mother’s passing his father remarried. Rabbi Ellis shares that his stepmother is a wonderful person, and he has always had a good relationship with her. But while he grew up with two parents and a beautiful model of shalom bayis, he did not grow up with a mother. B...

Mrs. Zissy Muller She woke up one night and heard heavy rain outside her window. In a state of panic, she called her father and asked, “Where are the shovels? It’s raining. My child is cold. We must go dig him out of his grave.” Meet Zissy Muller. No, she isn’t crazy. She is a mother who lost her child. When her beloved son died completely unexpectedly, she was thrust into a brand-new world of pain that was so intense, it felt as if she was being burned by a blazing flame. C...

Don’t Explain Because There is No Explanation Rabbi Sruli Fried, MSW Director of Chai Lifeline NJ/PA When a young child (in the NJ/PA) region has just been diagnosed, is on his deathbed or has just been niftar, Rabbi Fried is there. He sits with the family, and he cries with the family. His sensitivity hasn’t waned over time. Likely it has deepened. Over the years, parents have shared with Rabbi Fried various things that can be helpful after losing a child and other things that ca...

Lessons from the Past Mrs. Chaya Ginzberg BYA Teacher Rivky, Mrs. Ginzberg’s daughter, was a young mother of four children when she was niftar. On this podcast, Mrs. Ginzberg shares how although each family member struggled with their pain in their own way, the family held onto each other for dear life. With acceptance and faith there were no family politics. The relationship with her son-in-law, grandchildren and her son-in-law’s new wife remained peaceful and respectful.&...

Mrs. Deenie Yurkansky If you listen to Mrs. Yurkansky, you may be blown away. I know I was. Her son Shaul was a most beloved son and friend. He was gentle and kind, and his mother misses him. It doesn’t matter how many years have gone by. A mother’s heart will never stop aching for her child. But her connection to him is still strong, and she looks for signals from him. Before he died, he said, “Ma, don’t forget about me 24/7.” When I asked her to come onto the podcast, she said, “Of co...

Rabbi Shmuel Kohn, Therapist and Founder of Shloimy’s Club When people go through a tough nisayon, it isn’t uncommon to feel angry at Hashem. A person might shut down or feel numb, and they may even feel unable to daven. This can cause a lot of inner turmoil. Where is my emunah? Do I not believe in Hashem? From the time we are young we are taught that everything that happens is from Hashem, so if I’m thinking this way, I must be a terrible person. Or not. You may just be a person who went thr...

Mrs. Robin Meyerson, West Coast Director of NASCK (National Association of Chevrah Kadisha) Mrs. Robin Meyerson has a passion, and she passionately shares it. That passion is to help prevent cremation. She exhorts her listeners: “As Jews, we are all one, so when one Jew is being cremated, it affects all of us. We must stop this from happening.” She repeats so many times that she is available 24/6 to help save a Jew from being cremated. Robin laments that there are so many misconception...