Welcome to a very special episode of Relational Lives - our first Dear Therapist edition. In this episode, Ali and Ros respond to two deeply personal letters from listeners grappling with loss, betrayal, and the search for closure. Letter 1: JoJo opens up about losing their first love after being groomed into an abusive relationship. Now, blocked and isolated, Jo is looking for ways to process the guilt and trauma. Letter 2: OwenAfter nine years, Owen’s girlfriend ends the relationship unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day - just before moving in together. Owen seeks answers and support as he faces heartbreak and the fear of rediscovering his identity alone. This episode offers empathy, practical steps, and gentle guidance for anyone navigating emotional pain, attachment trauma, or the confusing road to closure. Show notes: Episode: Dear Therapist: Heartbreak, Abuse & Clousre | Listener Dilemmas In this episode: 00:00 – Welcome to our first Dear Therapist episode00:50 – Why listener dilemmas matter and what to expect01:30 – Letter 1: Jo’s story of first love, grooming, and abuse03:50 – How abuse can be hidden and isolating05:30 – Understanding grooming, love bombing, and trauma07:00 – The power of attention and why manipulation feels good08:45 – Talking about shame, guilt, and getting support10:00 – Why forgiveness is about you – not them11:15 – Acknowledging Jo’s strength and moving forward12:10 – Finding closure when you’ve been blocked13:30 – How writing unsent letters can help15:10 – Grieving the relationship and spotting red flags16:45 – Letter 2: Owen’s sudden break-up after 9 years18:20 – The pain of losing your imagined future19:45 – What avoidant attachment might explain21:00 – Was the break-up triggered by fear of commitment?22:30 – Can you ask your ex for answers – and should you?24:00 – Managing expectations and emotional readiness25:30 – Rebuilding identity after a long relationship27:00 – Seeking support and moments of relief28:15 – Final reflections and how to send in your own dilemma30:00 – Thank you for listening – more letters coming soon! Resources mentioned: Healthy relationships - explore what defines a healthy romantic dynamic:https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-3suv8-188c4bd Attachment styles overview:https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-xwpd3-186c726 Break-ups - navigating the grief of a break-up and reclaiming joy:https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ugjxj-187698d Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_livesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.  Disclaimer:Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits:  Music by: Stile Tree AudioProduced by: Synergy Podcast Studio