Another very larpy episode because we love those. I am back with Dallas and this time we bring Linus, another larper who plays the baron Lucian and we speak about the chaos that has escalated for the season finale of this epic story!

The pod back from a long pause! This is a weird episode, but a very important one. Dallas is back along with another friend, Alex, who we LARP with. Alex is a trans man, and we discuss something that is rarely talked about but is something very relevant for trans people beginning their transistion, as well as people who just want some perspective on human sexuality. We discuss what arousal feels like to us, pre and post hormone replacement therapy. How does sexuality differ based on our hormones? So yes. Some talk of sexuality, obviously, then a lot of gushing about the LARP.Warning, some of us (Dallas and I) are drinking wine and get more and more… weird. So if you want to turn off after about an hour it’s fully understandable, I did include some of it (90 minutes is on the cutting room floor) because I think some might find it fun.Either way, I hope the first hour is very entertaining and informative!

Dallas is back, and again, we spek about the LARP we attend. (Live Action Role Play where we, together with a large group of players, play our vampire characters in a serial monthly format) We speak of how Dallas’ character Tempest’s backstory is becoming a great story in its own right, we speak in anticipation of the night’s session and then we come back and speak in retrospect. We are drinking wine so we do get a little bit unhinged towards the end, and at some point Dumbledore did something to Gandalf… or something.

Dallas is back, and after talking about her allyship and learning experiences on the topic. Then we gush about the Vampire LARP we spoke of last time, discussing my fourth and her second session.



At the end we speak about a topic that needs to be talked about more. After very emotionally intense roleplay sessions, especially when it’s about LARPs, your character’s emotions could bleed over to to you and cause psychologicaleffects that you need to process, and for that to happen, you need the right support network and tools on how to deal with it. Enjoy!



The picture of Obsidian, mentioned in the episode



Today’s sonnet is dedicated to Frida’s character Bella, who is no longer with us. We will miss you Bella, Emmy and me both. Thankfully, Frida is till around <3







Bella,



If you would count the stars that light the sky



A crucial thing for those bereft of sun



Cry all you want, but never dare deny



The counted stars now be reduced by one







You gave me hope when hope was but a dream



Undid my chains and showed another path



Despite the dark, I suddenly could gleam



A future brighter than my sire’s wrath







You found me just as I was ’bout to fall



I was so weak until you made me strong



But just as I had learned to stand up tall



I heard a crash and suddenly you’re gone







No longer do I fear the deepest pain



I swear to you, you won’t have died in vain

If you hadn’t noticed, I love playing out emotions in roleplaying. In this episode I muse a bit about what crying brings me when I play. Spoiler: It’s awesome!

So I finally have my friend Dallas on an episode, and in the same room no less! Dallas has finally joined the wonderful world of roleplaying and she starts on the deep side of the pool with a vampire larp (Live action roleplay) set in the World of Darkness using setting from Vampire the Masquerade, 5th edition. Her character, the toreador Tempest Thorne finally gets to meet my noseferatu Emily Cordell. The first part of the episode takes place before the session and after a timeskip you will get to hear her first impressions of roleplaying! We had so much fun! Enjoy!

This is a very special episode, and, as promised, all about roleplaying. My friend Nicole who I roleplay with a lot is a quest, we talk about how we met and how our roleplaying dynamics work. She plays the character Juniper in the Tyranny of Dragons campaign I have mentioned a few times on this podcast. She also interviews my character Sapphire, which was a lot of fun! Enjoy!

I speak about something very happy going on in Sweden right now, with state funded transphobia. But I also speak of the silver lining and the things that help us through it.



Trigger warning; talk of suicide.

I speak about a cool transition related dream I had last night, and the interesting conclusion I drew from it. I also talk about a bit of a hot-take; I think the the hunt for main character syndrome in TTRPGs has gone way too far.

We’re all in this world together. In this episode I give my love to the wonderful loud allies of trans people, and, by extension, every othered and villfiied minority. I also speak of the loud toxic minority in my favorite hobby – gatekeepers in roleplaying. Can I have a boo and a hiss?

I talk about love and sexuality, both transition-related and roleplay related. I speak about what I think of labels when it comes to sexual preferences and what transitioning has done to mine. I speak about a romance-related cunundrum I am experiencing at the moment, something I would like people to talk more about, since romance in TTRPGs can be quite beautiful.

I talk about the chemical progress of my Hormone Replacement Therapy as the real me is “Entering the world”. I also speak about how I feel like some limitations to freedom can help make roleplaying games more immerisve, I use my own project as an example.

In this one I give a little rant. I often get asked what I would like cis people knew about the trans experience and here it is. A lot of even well emaning cis people have trouble with this, but PLEASE make an effort to understand – REALLY understand the nature of being NOT BECOMING trans.



I later tie it into how roleplaying games have helped me and how you as a roleplayer can be proud of your position of being able to help non normative people find themselves and feel secure.

I am back from summer holiday and I was blown away by how much my voice has changed since I started this podcast! I also speak about how culture in roleplaying games has improved my experience. I read a scene I wrote down from the session I played from the One Ring roleplaying game, read like an audio book to showcase my progress in voice work.



Esmeralda Took tossed and turned, sleep was an elusive creature tonight! She was on the brink of a genuine adventure, prescribed by cousin Bilbo himself! She was well aware that the likelihood of encountering a dragon was slim, yet she could always harbour hope. She leaned over the edge of her bunk, peering at her elder brother Paladin, who was also wrestling with sleep.



“Pal!” she whispered with a volume that belied the term, “Pal, are you awake? Do you think we’ll see elves?”



Paladin sighed, mulling over her question. “It’s unlikely, but perhaps?”



“How tall are elves?”



“Twice the height of a hobbit.”



“Oh… and dwarves? How tall are they?”



“One and a half hobbit.”



“And trolls? How tall are…”



Rorimac Brandybuck groaned from his bed on the other side of the room, interrupting her. “Can you two keep quiet? We have a long journey ahead tomorrow, I’m trying to sleep!”



Esmeralda crossed her arms, laying back down and gazing sullenly at the ceiling for a moment before turning to look at her brother again. “How tall are trolls?” This time she attempted to whisper a bit quieter.



“Four hobbits.”



“Four hobbits…” Esmeralda tried to imagine what that would look like, but something so large wouldn’t even fit in this room. “I hope we get to see a troll!”



Paladin smiled. “Yes, let’s hope. Now sleep, Esme, or you’ll miss the trolls.”

I am taking two weeks off, but enjoy this backstory of Sophilde, the character that was interviewed in the previous episode. I really like her story, but keep in mind, it is quite dark and I would like warn about fictional suicidal thoughts – if these are triggering to you, please skip this episode. Be well, and have a great summer!



Art by http://minimi.artstation.com

I go into character and answer some interview-questions from roleplayingtips.com. I talk as Sophlide, my problematic storm sorceress. Next week I will give you her backstory. Enjoy!

No roleplay talk today. Just wonderful wonderful news about me and my transition. I will be getting diagnosed, I am feeling more free in my voice, and pride, oh my gosh pride. Listen for some pure trans joy, and of course a sonnet. This sonnet.



The strides I’ve taken cannot be denied,



Look down the depth from whence I had to rise,



The pain I’ve felt, the tears that I have cried,



Were worth it all, to shed my grim disguise.



Yes, sacrifice was made, I can’t deny,



Though I care not for strength to open jars.



But there was something I held much more high,



A joy, I held much dearer than the stars



A sorrow, yes, but one I carried still.



I thought it was the price I had to pay.



A price I thought eternal up until,



You took my hand and showed another way.



With radiant smile and hope you came along,



Returned to me the wonderous gift of song.

I performed at my friends recital of her new book, where I portrayed Queen Mariel, a character from the upcoming fantasy novel Threads of Blood by Dallas De Fée. I had a great time, and I want to describe the similarities between immersive roleplaying and acting as it became very clear to me. There is also a trans story in there, since I helped Dallas with some sensitivity reading from a trans person’s perspective, to get our voice right.



And finally I end with a sonnet again, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? This time it’s writtren from the perspective of my vampire character Emmy, whom I spoke of in episode 36.



Enjoy!!

I have wonderful news about my trans journey, followed by wonderful news about my hobby. I have just just started LARPing Vampire: the Masquerade again! I am so happy I could cry. Be warned, in this episode I drink champagne and eat cheese so there is some nomming to be heard.

I hit a milestone, people. Someone tried to pick me up in a bar! And I remained completely and utterly oblivious until my friend pointed it out afterwards. After talking a bit about that I re-visit the idea of playing a child in TTRPGs as I talk a bit about my new sassy tabazi teenages Rashakaxia. No you are not pronouncing it correctly, just say Kaxi if you find that easier, Tabaxi names can be a little tricky for humans to say. Enjoy!



Image by Jamscandraw.