Send us a text CJ Khaled, Prosthetic Stats & Reverse Exorcisms Welcome to another episode of Pour Choices, where the IQ drops faster than Chris’s Amazon delivery success rate. We kick things off with a very adult discussion about drunken pants-peeing (spoiler: it’s happened), then dive headfirst into the theology of Chris’s fake conversion to Islam — shoutout to our boy CJ Khaled. Meanwhile, David’s asking the real DMV questions: if you’ve got no legs, does your license still say you’re 6...

Send us a text Honestly, Does Anyone Like Candy Corn? In this spooky-season fever dream of an episode, the boys tackle all the hard-hitting Halloween topics — like which traumatic childhood moment still keeps them up at night, which celebrity is shockingly Jewish, and what they'd do if locked in a windowless time prison with a $10 million payout on the line (spoiler: lose track of time around day four and cry into the wall). We also break down M. Night Shyamalan's cinematic scam of a career (...

Send us a text Million Dollar Challenges, Ant Wars, and Apocalyptic Activities What do twin babies born during Daylight Saving Time, a $1 million survival challenge, and your dog’s inner monologue all have in common? Absolutely nothing—just like the rest of this episode. This week, the boys dive headfirst into society’s dumbest debates and come out dumber for it. We kick off with time-traveling twins, cemetery etiquette for your wives, and Would You Rather scenarios that could get you cancele...

Send us a text Prehistoric Conspiracies, Fiber Fails & Jerry’s Finger This week on The Pour Choices Show, we start strong with a theory that would make your high school science teacher quit mid-semester — what if the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs was actually a UFO... and we’re the aliens? Yeah, buckle up, Neil deGrasse Ty-slow. From there, we spiral into chaos like usual: Fiber One missed a marketing slam dunk by not being called Fiber Two. DoorDash Duels — imagine every dri...

Send us a text Voldemort, Cataracts, and Condiment Controversies You know it’s going to be a Pour Choices kind of episode when Chris kicks things off by rage-venting about his Toyota dealership trauma like it’s a hostage negotiation. From there, things only get dumber: we ask the hard-hitting questions like can orphans eat at family restaurants, whether weather forecasts are legally binding if the weatherman has cataracts, and if putting mustard on eggs makes you a criminal. Then it’s time fo...

Send us a text Turn the Air Down, Flush the Truth Away This episode is like watching two drunk uncles argue in a Buffalo Wild Wings, except instead of wings you get 11 hours of Chris waiting for a car dealership to remember he exists. From there we spiral into life’s biggest mysteries: why we wash towels that only ever touch our allegedly clean bodies, why “boxing rings” are basically just angry squares, and how the hell a triple amputee claps (spoiler: it’s dark, don’t ask). We also put Davi...

Send us a text R.I.P. Charlie Kirk This episode is basically a fever dream wrapped in a podcast. We start with the tragic passing of Charlie Kirk before diving into immortality that sounds more like a punishment, limb-swapping for potato tubes, and sitcom catchphrases that’ll guarantee nobody ever invites you to Thanksgiving again. Strap in. There’s no moral lesson. Just vibes, carnage, and whatever the hell David’s daughter keeps ordering on Amazon. Death, Taxes, & …Immortality? What if ...

Send us a text And On The 4th Day… What do you get when you mix peanut allergies, blind-ranking assassinations, and a spontaneous TED Talk on relativity? An episode of Pour Choices that goes from biblical confusion to dad-core drafts in under 60 minutes. This one has it all: unsolicited parenting overlap, bald man identity crises, and a terrifying new idea—what if every time you ate, something somewhere was just… yeeted? Let’s unpack this existential casserole: 🐺 Dads, Drafts & Deep Thoug...

Send us a text You Haven’t Forgotten Yet, Have You? This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re asking the important questions—like what if cows ran the government? What if birds had Wi-Fi? And what if you recorded a 9/11 episode from the cockpit of a plane? We kick things off with: 🧠 Avril Lavigne isn’t real – and we’ve got just enough fake evidence to believe it 📦 Amazon should sell lottery tickets – because if they’re gonna control our lives, they might as well make us billionaires ...

Send us a text Missing Bananas, Fantasy Football Names, & Vigilante Justice This week on The Pour Choices Show, we unlock a new marketing strategy so diabolical, it could only come from two guys who once debated the ethics of pushing a corpse down a slide: Hijack Airbnb’s and log them into our YouTube. That’s not a joke. That’s a call to action. From there, we spiral gloriously into the dumbest smart conversations imaginable: 🍓 What’s the greatest Pop-Tart flavor? (And why is your ...

Send us a text Dead Weight, Sack Talk, & Definitely NOT “Bottomless” Margaritas This week on The Pour Choices Show, Chris is beefing with another neighbor over a misdelivered package, David ponders whether a sack is a vessel for goods or just a body bag with branding, and somehow we end up debating whether to respectfully carry a dead man—or just send him down the slide one last time for the boys. We kick off the descent into madness with: 📦 Chris’s Delivery Debacle: Part Inf...

Send us a text More Bags Than Michael Kors & Other HR Violations Chris and David are back with another episode that would definitely get them fired from any respectable workplace. These two walking liability cases tackle everything from foot-breathing to inanimate object marriages with the professionalism of drunk teenagers. Buckle up for conversations your HR department would use as training materials for "what not to say at work." What You're Getting Into: 👜 “More bags than Beyoncé” vs....

Send us a text Boat Days, Beer Math & Finger Fountains This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re pouring drinks, pouring nostalgia, and pouring way too much thought into whether our skin is gaslighting us about prunes. We kick things off with: 🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – liquid courage before questionable opinions 🏈 Chris officially declares himself an Ohio State fan solely because his girlfriend is. (We’re not saying he’s whipped, but…) 🫠 The Prune Conspiracy: if they’re just dried p...

Send us a text Prune Juice, Potatoes & Parenting Trust Falls This week on The Pour Choices Show, Chris comes in hot after being called out for phoning it in the past few weeks—and by “hot,” we mean he delivers the world’s most awkward motivational speaker intro. From there? Pure chaos. We kick it off with: 🥔 The definitive debate: mashed, baked, fries, tots… what is the supreme version of the potato? 🚗 Can a hearse legally drive in the HOV lane? (Asking for a friend. A very quiet friend...

Send us a text Koalas Get Chlamydia, Chris Gets Tattoos This week on The Pour Choices Show, we dive headfirst into camping disasters, psychopath quizzes, and—of course—the national epidemic of sexually transmitted koalas. Buckle up. It’s one of those episodes. We kick things off with: 🎤 A Coldplay Kiss-Cam recap: accidental romance, awkward energy, and questionable camera angles 🏓 Where the hell did pickleball come from? One minute it's nowhere, the next it's your uncle’s entire personality...

Send us a text Off-Brand Opinions & Cold-Ass Friendships ❄️📞💩 This week on The Pour Choices Show, we're throwing it way back—to unlimited nights and weekends, dollar-store knockoffs, and the kind of friendships that leave you passed out in the snow. We kick things off with: 📱 Remember when you had to wait until 9PM to talk to your friends? Gen Z will never know the struggle. 🥤 Our favorite off-brand things—because sometimes Dr. Thunder hits harder than Dr. Pepper. 🤬 "UGHHH, THE WORST"—...

Send us a text The Juice Is Loose, and So Is Chris… This week on The Pour Choices Show, we break out the nostalgia, the Harry Potter facts, and some very questionable opinions—including one about the true identity of the Kool-Aid Man. (Is he the juice or the pitcher? The people demand answers.) We kick things off with: 🎧 That one time there was an actual contest to guess when Amy Winehouse would die—for an iPod. Yes, really. 💡 Chris declares Maryland’s Thomas Point Lighthouse “famous,” ...

Send us a text Turn the Air Down, Flush the Truth Away 💨💩🍺 This week on The Pour Choices Show, we kick things off by asking the big questions—like how the hell did P Diddy dodge the sex trafficking charge? Did money change hands? Did he flush the evidence? Which conveniently leads us to another mystery: Where does poop go after you flush it? No really. Is it just... stored somewhere? Forever? From legal loopholes to sewage systems, we spiral fast: 🕶️ Night vision: How expensive is it to see i...

Send us a text HAPPY F***ING FREEDOM DAY! 🇺🇸🦅💥 This week on The Pour Choices Show, we celebrate America the only way we know how—by discussing international conflict, dark hypotheticals, food rankings, Hogwarts houses, and of course, the possibility of sexually negotiating world peace. We kick things off with: 🎶 A banger rendition of “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls 🇮🇷 A perfectly timed Facebook comment about Iran: “They bout to be called I shoulda RAN” 💣 And the real question: Would you com...

Send us a text A new relationship that you apparently need a Top-Secret Clearance to discuss… This week on The Pour Choices Show, things start off awkward and just spiral beautifully out of control from there. We kick off with David trying to ask Chris about his new girlfriend—only to discover she’s now governed by Fight Club rules. First rule? Don’t talk about her. Second rule? DON’T talk about her. But ironically, the only reason she exists is because she saw a clip from this podcast. You'r...