In the second part of my conversation with A and J, we talk about how J learned to face and work through his insecurities instead of letting them dictate how A connects with others. We also explore how differently they’ve each approached non-monogamy, with A actively dating while J has taken things more slowly as he continues to unpack his religious upbringing and lifelong monogamous conditioning.
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
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A and J opened up their relationship after nearly three decades together, when menopause sparked a surge in A’s libido.
In this episode, we talk about their process of untangling enmeshment, how they moved from a rule-heavy dynamic — with J, who was initially hesitant about non-monogamy, setting most of the boundaries — to having no rules at all. We also explore how those early rules revealed insecurities that J eventually chose to face and work through, rather than letting them control how A connects with others.
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here:
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Follow Polycurious on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/polycuriouspodcast?igshid=1mrwl69kdbtas
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https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious
Watch the podcast on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast
Today, Evita Sawyers ((@Lavitaloca34) shares how she went from letting jealousy and anger take over to becoming more grounded and less reactive. We talk about her experience being in a triad and how opening her marriage revealed gaps in her relationship with her husband, ultimately leading to their breakup.
This episode explores how non-monogamy can uncover powerful truths about yourself, serve as a path for personal growth, and highlight both the strengths and limitations within your relationships.
Resourced mentioned:
Follow Evita on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lavitaloca34?igsh=a2RqOHU5ZTdoMmRi
Follow Evita on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/share/1Evne8bz9V/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Patreon Bonus Content from This Conversation:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Poly Love Documentary:
The Untethered Soul Michael A Singer
https://untetheredsoul.com/untethered-soul
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319
No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh
https://www.parallax.org/product/no-mud-no-lotus/
Loving What Is By Byron Katie
https://thework.com/loving-what-is-revised-edition/
More Than Two:
https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Two-Practical-Polyamory/dp/0991399706
The Ethical Slut:
https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664
Nonviolent Communication:
https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown:
https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here:
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/polycuriouspodcast?igshid=1mrwl69kdbtas
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https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious
Watch the podcast on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast
Roshi and Frankie have been navigating a long-distance polyamorous relationship for over three years, where they both have other partners. Today, we talk about:
Resources mentioned:
Bonus content from this episode on Patreon (on Roshi's search for a nesting partner and Frankie's experience asking for what's important to her):
https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-62-when-139590497
Ep.6 Facing Insecurities Head On with Frankie:
https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep6
Where is Frankie Now? (Patreon):
https://www.patreon.com/posts/120772218/
Ep. 55 Aryn & Josh From Couples Therapy:
https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep55
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
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In my conversation with John, my secondary partner, we get into how our relationship grew from friends-with-benefits into partnership. We revisit an early incident that brought up his fear of disappointing partners and my own struggles with trust and safety, and how that shaped our early days. I share what it’s been like to face my fears around partnership and learn to find safety within myself, while John opens up about practicing vulnerability, accountability, and breaking old patterns of people-pleasing.
Listen to part 1 on my Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/138151166/
Listen to How I Went From Polycurious to Poly Part 1 here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/127305023/
Listen to How I Went From Polycurious to Poly Part 2 here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/127307117/
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
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Catherine and Brian went on Feeld looking for a threesome but things took a turn when Catherine fell for a woman who’s also married with a daughter. Now the two couples (and their kids) have formed a loving polycule built on honesty and care.
In today’s episode, we talk about how Brian stays sensually connected to the dynamic by being submissive, even though he’s not sexually involved with Catherine’s girlfriend. We get into how they’ve navigated Catherine having threesomes with her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s husband. We also explore the importance of staying open to evolving dynamics, and why asking thoughtful questions can go further than quick reassurance when your partner is struggling in non-monogamy.
Resources mentioned:
Ep.46 More Than A Mother with Molly Roden Winter
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (book)
Bonus content: Raising a child in a polycule:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/133008939/
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here:
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Adam is the author of Seek the Risk, the only memoir I know of by a man about non-monogamy. In this episode, he shares how being with a female partner who was more sexually active than he was challenged his sense of masculinity. He talks about how he overcame those feelings using techniques from his extreme sports background, including recognizing harmful inner narratives and reframing fear.
Get Adam's Book "Seek the Risk"
Write to Adam: adam@seektherisk.net
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here:
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
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In the second part of my conversation with Alex and Didi, we’re diving deep into MFM (male-female-male) threesomes, something they’ve explored together, and that Alex has a lot of experience with solo. He shares how he went from feeling uncomfortable with seeing his partner receive pleasure from another man to actually making it one of his biggest kinks.
We talk about why this dynamic can be incredibly enjoyable, how to avoid jealousy, and how shifting your mindset can transform the entire experience.
Follow Didi on Instagram at ethicallynonmongamous:
https://www.instagram.com/ethicallynonmonogamous/
Listen to Didi's podcast, The Non-Monogamous Spectrum
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0hwFZNSmLwDdDI1aUOvfT5?si=a2c04ea3e07c49aa
Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-non-monogamy-spectrum/id1818259334
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
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Today, Didi and Alex talk about what it’s like to be in a relationship where one partner is just beginning to explore non-monogamy while the other has years of experience. We also get into the complexities of couple-to-couple play, including the communication challenges, mismatched expectations, and lessons learned from their early experiences.
Follow Didi on Instagram at ethicallynonmongamous:
https://www.instagram.com/ethicallynonmonogamous/
Listen to Didi's podcast, The Non-Monogamous Spectrum
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0hwFZNSmLwDdDI1aUOvfT5?si=a2c04ea3e07c49aa
Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-non-monogamy-spectrum/id1818259334
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
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Today, Annie Undone opens up about her long-distance Dominant/submissive relationship (where she was the dom) with an asexual partner and what it taught her about intimacy. She also shares her journey from monogamy to polyamory and back again, her experience leaving an abusive marriage and dating someone 14 years younger, and why staying grounded in yourself outside of romantic relationships is so important.
Resources mentioned:
From Polycurious to Poly Part 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/127305023?utm_campaign=postshare_creator
Polycurious YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast
Annie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annie_undone/
Annie's writing: https://ko-fi.com/annieundone/shop
FetLife: https://fetlife.com/
Discord: https://discord.com/
Feeld: https://feeld.co/
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
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Today Aryn and Josh from Couples Therapy discuss their decade-long journey navigating polyamory, including their experience in a triad, Josh’s process of overcoming discomfort with Aryn dating other men, and how they use conflict as an opportunity to model how they want to be treated by each other.
Watch Couples Therapy on Paramount: https://www.paramountplus.com/shows/couples-therapy/
Listen to the episode with Lorena (Josh's Ex):
https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep40
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
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Daniella Guimaraes is a non-monogamous matchmaker and founder of Velvet Ties social club. Today she shares her CNM journey, why she prefers starting relationships fully open, and lessons from a past partner whose actions contradicted his words. She also tells us how Velvet Ties is bringing the community together and what you have to do to become a part of it.
Learn more about the Croatia trip here (make sure to mention Polycurious for $500 off):
https://partiful.com/e/ULTwpIFxb5ocL6qjFAwl
Learn more about Velvet Ties here (make sure to mention Polycurious for $500 off):
velvetties.com
Follow Velvet Ties and Daniella on Instagram here:
https://www.instagram.com/velvetties_/
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
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Lamees and Nick are a monogamous couple who previously tried non-monogamy and decided it wasn't right for them. Today, they discuss their journey and introduce their "relationship fortification" framework for having honest conversations about relationships.
Visit the relationship fortification website here:
https://www.relationshipfortification.com/
Follow relationship fortification on Instagram here
https://www.instagram.com/relationshipfortification/
Get my free guide to opening up here
https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
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Today, I’m sitting down with my dear friends Luna and Leo for what might be the longest and most insightful conversation I’ve ever recorded.
Luna shares her journey of leaving a toxic non-monogamous relationship and finding something healthier and more fulfilling with Leo. We dive into their personal triggers, how their past experiences shaped them, and the self-awareness they’ve gained through opening up. Plus, we talk about the baby steps they’re taking to build a relationship that honors both freedom and emotional security.
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
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Ellie and Cole went from both being non-monogamous to just Ellie playing with others. But that doesn’t mean Cole doesn’t benefit! Ellie shares videos and pictures of her encounters and brings the sexual energy into their relationship when she gets home. We dive into how this (some might say hotwifing) arrangement works, the conversations that made it possible, and their journey from playing together to settling into a mono-poly dynamic.
Listen to Ellie's podcast 'Kink with Alex + Ellie
Substack:
https://talkingkinkpodcast.com
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6tg4geRbYCJWl2SmwweVod
Apple:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talking-kink-with-alex-ellie/id1727462400
To My Stag, My Hubby full audio:
https://soundgasm.net/u/ParcaeNona/To-my-Stag-my-Hubby
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Whatsapp community here
https://chat.whatsapp.com/CIo9i8FTioT0ebfU3QmNqV
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
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In this final episode of the Mono-poly mini-series, my assumptions about these relationships get seriously challenged! Shy is solo poly, non-hierarchical, and a relationship anarchist, while Gabrielle, who’s monogamous, has a surprisingly open (some might even say poly) mindset. We dive into what non-hierarchy actually looks like in practice and how even monogamous partners can benefit from polyamory.
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Mono-Poly Whatsapp communityhere.
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Ka6FnsUEPaJ2gpFBcphhQJ
Join our Patreonhere
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
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In this episode, I sit down with Cassie and Schuyler, a couple navigating a mono-poly dynamic—Cassie is open to dating others, while Schuyler has remained monogamous (so far!). We dive into their journey of embracing this relationship style, from Cassie overcoming feelings of guilt to how their dynamic has deepened their connection.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Ep.2 Finding the Type of Relationship That Works for You
Ep.12 She's Open He's Not with Fer & Seth
Book a free exploratory call with me here:
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Mono-Poly Whatsapp community here.
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Ka6FnsUEPaJ2gpFBcphhQJ
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
Visit our website polycurious.com
Our email is polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com
In this episode Seth and I talk about why he’s never lost his confidence as a monogamous man in a non-monogamous relationship. We unpack how we approach "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (spoiler: it’s not what you think!) and share what we’ve learned about making a mono-open dynamic work.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Ep.12 She's Open He's Not with Fer & Seth
Book a free exploratory call with me here
https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
Join our Mono-Poly Whatsapp community here.
https://chat.whatsapp.com/Ka6FnsUEPaJ2gpFBcphhQJ
Join our Patreon here
https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Follow Polycurious on
Visit our website polycurious.com
Our email is polycuriouspodcast@gmail.com
Polycurious is one of the 25 top non-monogamy podcasts:
https://podcast.feedspot.com/non_monogamy_podcasts/
Today I'm giving you a little sample of a Patreon episode.
Feeling NRE (New Relationship Energy) in non-monogamy for the first time?
If you're connecting with someone outside your primary relationship, you might freak out a bit (I sure did!). Here’s what I wish I knew:
Thinking about your new lover more than your partner is normal and it will likely go away: Infatuation often comes with intense emotions and short-term, obsessive attachment. Remember, you likely felt the same for your primary partner once—it will fade.
You might feel guilty: If you haven't discussed this with your partner, guilt can creep in. It’s crucial to talk about what happens if someone catches feelings. Falling in love isn’t something you can control—be ready for it.
You might doubt your primary relationship even if it’s going great: This is monogamous conditioning at play. Society teaches us that loving someone else means something’s wrong. It takes time to unlearn that belief.
Resources:
Join my Patreon at patreon.com/c/Polycurious
Book an exploratory call here: https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min