Welcome to Episode 16, the powerful conclusion of our special series with the acclaimed Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! This week, hosts Sandy Inkster and Samantha Ennest-Wallis finalize their deep dive into Family Meetings and the principles of Firm and Friendly parenting. The discussion focuses on key strategies for managing a relationship with a busy, growing child or young adult. Alyson reinforces the need for confidence to ensure consistency, comparing a parent's approach to a mouse running a maze—if the rules keep changing, the child can't learn. The hosts explore the practical reality of parenting older kids, where a major step is "reorganizing the respect". This means granting wider boundaries and allowing older children the entire week to complete chores that aren't time-sensitive, such as dusting or mowing the lawn. Alyson shares the "Level Three" technique—a family agreement to call out disrespectful "parent speak" or nagging to maintain a culture of mutual respect. The episode finishes with the profound realization that "it is the long game". Parents must prioritize the relational part over the managerial part of parenting, trusting that their children will learn and that the ultimate "thank you" will be the quality of the lifelong relationship they build. To see Alyson's videos of her own family meetings—including all the grace and grit—check out this YouTube playlist: https://www.google.com/search?q=https://youtube.com/playlist%3Flist%3DPLZco&authuser=2https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZco_5s7VkjR5q5KrHdyJSGQIxj_dD0sK [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZco_5s7VkjR5q5KrHdyJSGQIxj_dD0sK&si=uOh6jChnl-9LT14m] If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting. [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting] On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio. [https://redjuicestudio.com/]

Welcome to Episode 15 of On the Ground Parenting, and the third part of our special series with international best-selling author and Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! This week, hosts Sandy and Sam dive deep into one of the core concepts of Adlerian parenting: the Family Meeting. Alyson stresses that the family meeting is a necessary platform for family democracy. It's a structured way to move away from a traditional hierarchy to a mutually respectful sharing of power. While she is a passionate advocate, Alyson is quick to point out that family meetings are hard and often involve "nasty, gnarly behavior". However, the long-term benefits—teaching kids skills like listening, problem-solving, and taking turns —are immeasurable. The discussion highlights the huge value of these transferable skills. Alyson and Sandy share personal stories of how family meeting skills translated directly into running board meetings, managing coworkers , and even resolving roommate conflicts in university. They emphasize that issues like chores and rules are best solved through a framework of "we need a better solution" rather than "what's my discipline tactic". The conversation also expands into a discussion of chores , cautioning that most family chores are janitorial and can make children feel like indentured servants. Alyson advocates for giving children "real jobs" that leverage their talents, such as planning a family holiday or organizing a closet.

Welcome to Episode 14 of On the Ground Parenting, the second part of our special series with international best-selling author and Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! The conversation picks up where it left off, reinforcing that our children offer us an opportunity for personal growth. Alyson continues to offer insight into the Adlerian framework, challenging the idea that more parenting information always makes things easier. Alyson introduces a vital Adlerian concept: goal-directed behaviour. She explains that a child's so-called misbehaviour is actually a "mistaken approach" —a creative, smart way for them to solve a problem and achieve a goal, like getting more attention or delaying bedtime. She stresses that children act this way at a pre-conscious level and are not being deliberately mischievous. The hosts conclude with the realization that we cannot keep everyone happy all the time. Alyson offers a comforting reminder that the "thank you" you're looking for from your kids won't come in the moment, but rather in the quality of the relationship you've built over the longer game. In This Episode * [04:12] The hurdle of overwhelming information and the need for an organizing framework. * [06:00] Using the Adlerian philosophy as a "periodic table" to discern information and avoid being overwhelmed. * [07:08] The differentiator: understanding children's behaviour as goal-directed. * [08:18] A child's "misbehaviour" is really a creative problem-solving effort to reach a goal. * [10:31] Why punishment doesn't work: children act at a pre-conscious level and often don't know why they do what they do. * [11:39] Well-behaved children tend to get ignored, and off-task behaviour gets engagement. * [13:38] The subjectivity of the child: two siblings can have the exact same experience but interpret it completely differently. * [16:36] The longer game: the thank you will come back in the quality of the relationship and their continued desire to spend time with you. Connect with Us Find Alyson's books, podcast, and free resources at alysonschafer.com [https://alysonschafer.com]. If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting]. On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus' Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio [https://www.redjuicestudio.com/].

Welcome to Episode 13 of On the Ground Parenting and the first part of our multi-episode run with our special guest, Alyson Schafer! Alyson is a celebrated family counselor, international author, and expert in Adlerian psychology. The hosts, Sandy Inkster and Samantha Ennest-Wallis, explore the core of effective parenting, challenging the notion that there's "no manual for raising kids".     Alyson introduces Adlerian psychology as a "firm and friendly" parenting approach—a middle ground that respects both the child and the parent. She explains that this philosophy, pioneered by Alfred Adler, is evidence-based and counters the extremes of autocratic (firm without friendly) and permissive (friendly without firm) styles.       The hosts share highly personal moments, discussing the challenge of overcoming shame and embarrassment when a child's behavior isn't ideal. Alyson shares her experience having children with 36 late-slips her first year of school, but explains that this was part of a long-term plan to teach her kids punctuality and responsibility. The episode reinforces that parenting is an opportunity for personal growth, pushing every button a parent has and revealing where they are most vulnerable. The conversation concludes with the hope that, through intentional practice, respectful parenting will become easier and more natural with each passing generation. Connect with Us Find Alyson's books, podcast, and free resources at alysonschafer.com [https://alysonschafer.com]. If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting]. On the Ground Parenting is a production of Muskoka Family Focus's Parent Education Program. The podcast is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio [https://www.redjuicestudio.com/].

Welcome to Episode 12 of On the Ground Parenting. This week, host Sandy, Sam and special guest Justin consider the phrase "There's no manual for raising kids". The conversation focuses on different parenting approaches and the essential human practice of making amends when things go wrong. The hosts explore various parenting styles—like authoritarian ("brick wall"), permissive ("jellyfish"), and authoritative ("backbone") —but ultimately agree that intentionality and mindfulness are most important. Justin shares a relatable story about losing his cool when rushed in the morning, detailing the deep hug he received from his six-year-old daughter after he took responsibility for his agitation. Samantha recounts a similar experience with her son, who calmly reminded her, "It takes as long as it takes, Mom". The episode reinforces that accepting accountability is vital to the parent-child relationship. The hosts share practical strategies for repair, including using open-ended questions like "How can I help you?" , focusing on self-care to be a "well" parent , and exercising restraint in difficult moments. Send us messages! https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting

Welcome to Episode 11 of On the Ground Parenting [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting]. This week, host Sandy Inkster and co-host Samantha Ennest-Wallis welcome their first-ever guest, Ken Cole, to discuss the parallels between the autumn season and the parenting journey. Ken, also known in the community as the "Leaf Man," connects the spectacular transitions of fall colors to the "huge" transitions parents face as their children grow. Ken shares his personal experience as a pioneering stay-at-home dad and the emotional challenges of his young son reaching out for his mother upon her return. The hosts reflect on the powerful metaphor of "sowing seeds," where the investment made in building a strong relationship with a child when they are young comes to "fruition" when they are adults. The episode delves into the bittersweet reality that "they will bloom and they will be gone," emphasizing that parenthood happens in the blink of an eye. The hosts share relatable stories about the last time they did something with a child, reinforcing the need to "look now" and cherish the current moment. The conversation concludes with the joy and inspiration that comes from seeing children (and grandchildren) become successful adults. https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbnh2bjFBSzVoa0c0aDc1dUw4UTFta1NaMTNYUXxBQ3Jtc0tueFlVaEdoQk85Z09oOE1VSE0zczBhaFdkOHhobFowdlFPU1JzWXlhejZ1cG5RMDZHanBaNUtnYTc0M0F0TmpUczI3ZXFIUmVGemRpaVpiRThTWmxPcDNpUFVSQ2ZOcGNGMWR2WXFNUWJkWUFrWjUwYw&q=https%3A%2F%2Flinktr.ee%2Fonthegroundparenting&v=3sMhnG7bDHE] On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio [https://redjuicestudio.com/] 

Sandy, Sam, and exciting guest host Justin explore the joys and challenges of seasonal family gatherings like Thanksgiving. The conversation opens with reflections on the September transition and the different ways each family approaches holiday gatherings, noting that the goal is always "togetherness". The discussion delves into the pressures that can arise during these events, from balancing multiple families to the historical complexities of the Thanksgiving holiday. The hosts emphasize the importance of flexibility and being able to respect a child's needs, especially when dealing with neurodivergence or anxiety. Sam shares a personal story about avoiding large gatherings and finding a way for her son to participate on his own terms. Justin discusses how holidays can be an "inflection point" for resolving difficult family dynamics, and a chance to offer children dignity and agency. The episode concludes with a heartwarming "love fest" as the hosts share their gratitude for each other and the opportunity to share their parenting journeys with the world.

Welcome to Episode 9 of On the Ground Parenting. This week, host Sandy Inkster is joined by fellow parenting educator Samantha Ennest-Wallis and special guest Justin, to tackle the ever-present challenge of household chores. The episode delves into the deeper meaning behind chores, emphasizing that they instill a sense of belonging and are part of a shared family goal. The hosts reflect on their own childhood experiences with chores and how that influenced their parenting styles. Justin shares a poignant reflection on how children spell love as "T-I-M-E", and that a parent's investment in their children is necessary before they can expect them to contribute. Practical advice is also offered, such as using a laminated, step-by-step instruction sheet for complex tasks like laundry. The episode concludes with the hosts' takeaway that while chores aren't easy, they are an important part of a child's journey to becoming a capable adult. Do you have a parenting question? We want to hear from you! Send us a message at https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting or an email at parented@muskokafamilyfocus.ca If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio redjuicestudio.com/nonprofits [https://www.google.com/search?q=https://redjuicestudio.com/nonprofits&authuser=2]

This week on On the Ground Parenting, hosts Sandy , Sam, and Kelly delve into the emotional challenges that arise during new beginnings like the "September New Year." The conversation begins with a discussion on how children's behavior, like a "kick the cat mood," can signal an underlying emotional struggle. The hosts then share different ways to connect, including Sandy's bedtime chats and Kelly's use of a journal to communicate with her children. Sam also introduces the use of text messaging as a tool for "neurodiverse" families to express feelings without verbal confrontation. They share the value of tools like an emotions wheel to develop a richer vocabulary for feelings. They also reflect on the role of parent education, mentorship, and reading parenting books, highlighting programs like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen". The hosts conclude with a reminder that parenting is an ever-evolving journey, and being "on the ground" means there will be days of slogging through the mud as well as gaining firm ground.They also reflect on the role of parent education, mentorship, and reading parenting books, highlighting programs like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen".  linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting [https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting] On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio [https://redjuicestudio.com/]. 

This week on On the Ground Parenting, hosts Sandy, Sam, and Kelly  discuss the "September New Year" and the pressure and excitement that come with new beginnings. The hosts share personal experiences navigating transitions, from early school jitters and a new parent's anxiety over packing, to the monumental transition of a child going to university. Samantha notes the shift from being a parent driven by anxiety and external pressure to a more confident, at-ease advocate for her children. In This Episode [01:21] The "September New Year" and dealing with a new schedule. [02:42] Shifting from parental anxiety to at-ease advocacy. [04:19] The idea of being a "sturdy parent" and setting intentional boundaries. [06:01] Managing the guilt of external pressures, especially for parents of neurodivergent children. [07:46] Adjusting to new routines and the importance of parental self-care. [11:38] The relief of passing packing responsibilities to kids. [14:19] De-escalating tense moments by taking a pause. [16:42] The importance of a parent's words matching their body language. [21:56] Final takeaways on ownership, awareness, and staying grounded. Connect with Us If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio. To learn more, visit redjuicestudio.com

The last week of our summer series! This time on On the Ground Parenting, hosts Sandy, Sam, and Kelly get into the art of preparing children for outdoor adventures, a crucial life skill. They discuss the concept of "division of responsibility" where parents empower kids to be more capable and self-sustaining by gradually transferring some of the planning and packing duties. The discussion also touches on the importance of parental preparedness, including the lesson of always remembering underwear for a post-beach outing. Sam reflects on her own journey, from being "shell-shocked" as a new parent to developing mental checklists and routines. The hosts agree that these planning skills are a form of leadership that kids can carry throughout their lives, citing an example of a high school student who used her outdoor skills to organize a school-wide picnic. The episode concludes with advice for parents on how to handle frustration and "muddy" moments. In This Episode [01:04] What is the "division of responsibility"?[01:56] Using lists and pictures to help kids pack. [02:47] Learning from the consequences of forgetting to pack. [04:28] Samantha's journey from "shell-shocked" parent to a master of mental lists. [07:33] Why packing and planning are valuable life and leadership skills. [11:05] Giving kids a sense of agency with lists and check-ins. [14:10] Strategies for parents to cope with frustration and "muddy" moments. [19:02] The balance of "roots and wings" in parenting.Connect with Us! If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio [https://www.redjuicestudio.com/]  https://www.redjuicestudio.com/

Bear down...at the end of the driveway!? On the Ground Parenting this week goes Outdoors At Night! Sandy, Sam, and Kelly explore the unique experience of getting outdoors after dark. I read that bears are attracted to the smell of people who don't subscribe to our podcast...just saying. They dive into the anxiety associated with nighttime, from spooky sounds to a fear of bears. The hosts offer books like "Just a Walk" and "Wake Up Night" and practical advice to help both children - and parents! - get over their fears.  The episode provides actionable ideas for making night exploration fun and safe, from using flashlights and laying on a trampoline to stargaze to the appeal of food cooked over a fire. The hosts discuss the importance of involving children in the cooking process, building patience and providing opportunities for important safety conversations. They close with a reminder that these nighttime adventures create lasting memories and build a strong relationship with the outdoors. In This Episode [01:01] Books that help with worries about getting outdoors. [02:05] Overcoming fears of the dark for both kids and adults. [05:18] Humorous encounters with nighttime wildlife. [08:48] Helping children through their outdoor worries. [11:50] Fun activities for nighttime, like trampolining and hammocks. [13:43] The enticing nature of cooking food outdoors at night. [18:22] Using natural consequences to teach life lessons. [19:22] Why nighttime outdoor adventures create lasting memories. Connect with Us If you enjoyed this episode and want to sponsor or support the show, or even ask a question of our hosts, visit the Central Hub at https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting On the Ground Parenting is produced, engineered, and published by Red Juice Studio. To learn more, visit https://www.redjuicestudio.com/

Summer scaries - this week On The Ground. Sandy Inkster, Sam Ennest-Wallis, and Kelly Armstrong explore the emotional journey of giving children the freedom to explore and grow. We get into the critical difference between a genuine safety issue and a parent's own feeling of discomfort or anxiety. We also discuss how to help children overcome fears, like spiders.  In This Episode [03:10] The angst of letting kids have unsupervised adventures! [05:47] A safety issue or our own discomfort? [07:04] The importance of risky play and not projecting fears onto children [09:31] Helping children get through fears [11:47]  "I'm too itchy": the value of being prepared. [13:45] Learning resilience from a frightening experience on a canoe trip. [15:04] Takeaways: Validating feelings and doing our own emotional work. Subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday. Have a question, suggestion, or want to tax-deductibly sponsor an episode of On The Ground Parenting? Send us a message here 👇 https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting

Comments, questions, donations and epsiode ideas!  https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting Join the hosts of On the Ground Parenting, Sandy Inkster, Samantha Ennest-Wallis, and Kelly Armstrong, as they discuss the benefits of getting outside with your family. The hosts share research that suggests just two hours of outdoor time a week can reduce anxiety and lower blood pressure.   We talk practical strategies for getting outdoors, suggesting taking indoor activities like art outside. We share fun ideas, from watercolour painting and using natural materials for art projects to leaving "little mini kits" in a backpack for spontaneous activities. A key theme is the balance between encouraging kids to try new things and respecting their comfort level, using personal anecdotes about a ropes course and canoe dumping to illustrate this delicate dance. The episode concludes with a reminder to be open to trying things outdoors without judging the outcome and to be attentive to both your child's and your own emotional cues.       In This Episode:   [01:25] Benefits of Being Outdoors    [03:12] Research on Outdoor Time for Kids    [05:01] Taking Indoor Activities Outside    [09:40] Planning and Preparedness   [14:44] The Dance of Pushing & Backing Off    [17:51] Learning Limits: Ropes Courses & Canoes      [19:01] Final Takeaways: Noticing Cues    Red Juice Studio: redjuicestudio.com/

This episode dives deep into the meaning of "on-the-ground parenting," emphasizing the importance of being intentional in our interactions with children. Kelly shares insights on building relationships versus being "right". We move outdoors, offering practical tips for encouraging independence in children by involving them in planning and letting them experience natural consequences.   In This Episode: [01:30] The Evolution of On the Ground Parenting & Intentionality [02:45] Intentional Choices: Relationship vs. Being Right [03:38] Reflecting on How We Were Parented & Embracing New Skills [06:01] Grace for Ourselves & Parenting as Leadership [07:46] "Love is an Action Word," "Parenting is a Verb" [09:27] Outdoor Exploration & Teaching Life Skills [10:53] Natural Consequences & Learning from Experience [13:22] Humorous Outdoor Adventures  Have a question, suggestion, or want to tax-deductibly sponsor an episode of On The Ground Parenting? Send us a message here 👇 https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting

Hosts Sandy Inkster, Sam Ennest-Wallis, and Kelly Armstrong dive into summer parenting, discussing adventures and challenges. Kelly shares her family's tradition of "no devices" camping, but Sam offers insights on planning trips for neurodiverse children, emphasizing preparation and the role of devices for "reset" time.  Tune in for practical tips every Wednesday; it's delightful. In This Episode:   [01:42] Summer Activity Ideas & Planning [01:50] Kelly's "No Devices" Camping Tradition    [03:26] Neurodiversity & Trip Planning    [05:49] Following the Kids' Lead    [08:16] Preparing Kids for Adventures & Packing Tips    [09:47] Budget-Friendly Gear & Bags    [14:52] Day Trips & Finding Delightful Moments    Subscribe for a new 20-minute podcast every Wednesday! Have a question, suggestion, or want to tax-deductibly sponsor an episode of On The Ground Parenting? Send us a message here 👇 https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting Red Juice Studio: https://www.redjuicestudio.com/

Subscribe for the full episode Wednesday at 9 am EST, and a new 20-minute podcast every Wednesday! Have a question, suggestion, or want to tax-deductibly sponsor an episode of On The Ground Parenting? Send us a message here 👇 https://linktr.ee/onthegroundparenting