It’s our final episode of the season, and we’re going deep even though we promised not to.

👉 Our first letter writer is lying awake at night thinking about death, ageing parents, and creaky knees. Is midlife just one long existential crisis, or can we make peace with the fact that we’re all slowly composting?

👉 Dave loves his new girlfriend - but not her ex, who’s still watering the plants, popping in for dinner, and smiling from every photo frame. When does “we’re still friends” turn into “he’s still stealing the emotional air”.

Plus, we read some of your feedback on the season (spoiler: it ranges from “woke and gay” to “Clayton’s dulcet tone is s.e.x.y”), and answer one final AMA about first loves, sexual awakenings, and why Suran didn't swoon after Clayton's pash.

No Straight Answers - solving life’s problems, one unhelpful answer at a time.

This week, it gets a little steamy as both of our letters are about sex. Expect unhelpful advice, mild moral panic, and at least one moment where Clayton looks like he wants to crawl under the desk.

👉 Anxious Amanda writes about her 15-year-old son and his 14-year-old girlfriend - who are, let’s just say, not reading books together. She’s letting them be intimate under her roof because it feels safer than the alternative… but what happens when he turns 16 and she’s still underage? Is Amanda being a responsible parent or walking a legal tightrope?

👉 Hot and Bothered (but not in the good way) is 47, deeply in love with her husband, and freshly perimenopausal - which is all fine until he suggests they open their marriage in the name of “ethical non-monogamy.” Is this progressive honesty or just a polite midlife crisis?

In our AMA, Clayton talks about the uneasy marriage between comedy and mental health, while Suran admits which app she checks most for no good reason.

No Straight Answers — solving life’s problems, one unhelpful answer at a time.

This week we’re tackling wine-fuelled book clubs and the headache of co-parenting gone wrong. Expect unhelpful answers, a little righteous indignation, and an AMA that exposes just how soft we really are under all the tough talk (we know, there's no tough talk...).

👉 Frustrated in Auckland writes about her book club of middle-aged mums that’s turned into less “literary discussion” and more “wine-and-whine night” - thanks to a couple of new recruits who never crack open the book. Do you lay down the rules, or let it devolve into gossip hour?

👉 Dad from Christchurch shares the pain of trying to co-parent with an ex-wife who paints him as the villain, manipulates the kids, and cancels weekends on a whim. How do you stay sane, protect your relationship with your children, and keep from being swallowed by her bitterness?

Finally, in our AMA, Clayton admits the one trait he’d change to make his wife’s life easier, and Suran shares a moment when she felt utterly carefree and in love with life.

This week we’re diving into the world of conspiracy theories and the heartbreak of end-of-life choices. Expect unhelpful answers, a few tears, inappropriate giggles, and an AMA that will probably reveal too much about both of us.

👉 A listener writes from Grey Lynn about a friend whose obsession with fringe conspiracies has gone from Bill Gates’ “microchips” to Paul McCartney being replaced in 1966. Once the life of the party, he now derails every conversation with the conspiracy du jour and calls anyone who disagrees a “sheep.” Do you cut ties, call it out, or just keep baa-ing along?

👉 Jamie shares an impossibly tough situation: his father-in-law, a big character in a big family, is dying of cancer and wants assisted dying to avoid pain and burden. His wife is devastated, the siblings are divided, and their kids are 13, 8, and 5. How do you support your partner through it, and do you prepare the kids — or protect them?

Finally, in our AMA Clayton reveals his ultimate dating “ick,” and Suran shares her irrational fears

⚠️ Please note: this episode contains sensitive conversations about assisted dying. Take care when listening.

This week we’re tackling the blurred line between banter and bullying — in schools and workplaces. Expect unhelpful answers, bad 90s flashbacks, and an AMA that goes places it probably shouldn’t (Clayton becomes a giggly teenager).

👉 A parent writes in about their 11-year-old son who’s being teased, taunted, and even left stranded without his schoolbag. The teachers say they’ll “keep an eye on it,” but the bullying hasn’t stopped. Do you pull him out to protect his confidence, or help him stick it out and build resilience? We weigh protection against preparation — with some raw 90s flashbacks along the way.

👉 Lee from Taranaki tells us she’s become the office punchline. As the oldest in her team, she’s bombarded with “harmless” age jokes about naps, TikTok, and slowing down. Should she laugh it off, or risk making things worse by calling it out? We explore the fine line between humour and harassment, and why “just joking” is rarely just joking.

Finally, our AMA asks what Clayton would do with 24 hours as a woman, and who Suran’s celebrity hall pass would be.

If you came for clarity, you’re in the wrong place. But if you came for honesty, laughter, and a reminder that you’re not alone in life’s messiness — you’re exactly where you should be.

Welcome to Episode 3 of No Straight Answers — the podcast where we workshop your predicaments and dilemmas with maximum empathy and minimum usefulness.

We kick off with highs and lows, updates on the Christchurch comedy scene, and some hard truths about social media. Then it’s time for your letters:

👉 A listener questions whether his marriage has crossed from “normal rough patch” into gaslighting territory — after an AI told him so. We unpack the dangers of becoming worn down by love, and whether this is just part of long term relationships.

👉 Another listener is stuck in the limbo of a fading friendship — should she keep pushing for connection, or recognise it’s time to let go? We talk reciprocity, seasons of friendship, and why one-sided effort rarely works.

Finally, our AMA uncovers laughing-until-you-cry moments and what advice Clayton would give his younger self.

If you came for clarity, you’re in the wrong place. But if you came for honesty, laughter, and a reminder that you’re not alone in life’s messiness — you’re exactly where you should be.

Clayton and Suran are back with more fence-sitting advice, inappropriate laughter, and just enough honesty to make you wonder if we should be trusted with your dilemmas.

We start with highs and lows - milestone birthdays, party chaos, and the joy/pain of being back in offices and airports again.

Then onto two listener letters:

Letter 1 — The Goodbye Kiss Conundrum:
Greg from Huntsbury writes in about a social ritual gone rogue: whenever his friends come over (and drinks are involved), the wife always lands a kiss that hovers between cheek and lips — sometimes fully landing. Greg’s not sure if it’s harmless affection, low-level attraction, or a potential landmine if their spouses notice. We ask: what’s the real issue - the act itself, or the fear of being caught? How much attraction is “normal,” and when does it cross the line?

Letter 2 — The ADHD Divide:
Dan’s wife has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. She’s empathetic and hardworking but struggles with organisation, reactivity, and daily “boring” tasks. Dan feels like the load is falling on him - and worries the diagnosis is becoming an excuse. We unpack executive function (working memory, self-restraint, cognitive flexibility), the realities of ADHD at home, and how to focus on strengths while addressing the friction. There are tangents, of course - forgotten glasses, unpaid car insurance, and a few “weird shit my wife did this week” anecdotes.

We round things off with an AMA: Clayton on alcohol, Suran on regrets, and a little too much candour about lives half-lived and still in progress.

Not therapy, just two long-time friends oversharing, workshopping, and occasionally confusing you more than helping.

Send us your dilemmas: dilemma@nostraightanswers.org
Follow us on Instagram: @nostraightanswersnz
Content note: mild language and mild oversharing.

Welcome to No Straight Answers — the fence-sitting advice show where we explore your predicaments with curiosity, compassion and a few questionable ideas.

In this debut, Suran and Clayton trade highs and lows, then tackle two listener letters:

Letter 1 — The Screen-Time Standoff:
When one parent rage-bans devices, what actually helps? We talk dopamine and transitions (hugs, timers, trampolines), neutral parenting, weekly couple check-ins and family meetings. The aim: less panic, more predictable routines.

Letter 2 — The Micromanager Maze:
How to steady yourself when a new boss erodes your confidence. We cover fight/flight, getting the frontal lobe back online (breathing, pause lines), written follow-ups, allies, and when a values misfit means planning an exit.

We cap it with a quick AMA (Clayton's first hickey is a hot topic!). Not therapy, just a couple of old friends workshopping your dilemmas. And pushing each other to overshare more and more each week!

Send your dilemma: dilemma@nostraightanswers.org
Content note: mild language.