It's the Pocket Podcast Potluck and for our dish, we've brought you a huge dish of candy. That's acceptable, right? Please enjoy our annual Halloween episode GM'd by Britty and starring a cast of candy creature criminals!

Picking up immediately where we left off last time, the Magic Assholes witness a communion that has interesting results, create a spectral kelpie, and have a nice conversation with the Bodega Cat. All in a day's work.

The hallowed halls of Bat Yale welcome you as we play our annual Halloween one-shot DM'd by Britty!

Special thanks to the lovely Christine Savage for voicing Coriander! The Magic Assholes take far too long to let a friend inside...which unfortunately is not a metaphor.

The gang goes toe to toe with a ghost which has immediate and dire consequences. They learn more about the Lich Queen's cruel actions, Perry forgives her sister, and Ixen and Saoirse have a heart to heart.

It's the Show Swap Special! Boy howdy, you're in for a treat - it's those goobers from Green Mountain Mysteries, playing in the No Dice space for a change! There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that this could go wrong. The gang takes an assignment from the legendary Erris Dawnforge as the first test run of the Pact of the Lich... mostly because they were the first four to be recruited. Can this band of necromancers work together (and not kill each other) long enough to recover a fabled treasure? Chan is a boatomancer, Duram has his priorities straight, Messala monologues a LOT, and Salemla is the subject of frequent confusion. Starring Christine Savage as Salemla Kamarile, Darius Southland as Duram Drazal, Gwen Vetter as Chan Ared, Thom Freitag as Messala Saine, and Michael Freitag as everyone else. Adventure written by Daniel Bookhoop.

The gang gets the grand tour of their new digs and discovers that something isn't quite right...it's definitely not a ghost though.

Special thanks to the lovely Christine Savage for voicing Coriander! Sometimes you have to leave the bodega that only exists in the dream plane and go out to fight a Lich Queen who wants to attack your family. You know, get back on the horse.

Life Incarnate Written October 1, 2014 We are remembered for our failures For our inability To do something correctly Artists Are only known after they’re dead And politicians, God forbid Always blame everything on one another Utopia Is a false misconception Perfection Is nothing more than being who you are If we treated each other with respect Parents wouldn’t have to bury their children This generation Is a compilation Of beautiful ingenuity And mismatched socks I remember when we all played in the same sandbox With the same innocence Plastered on our clothes We finger-painted our souls with Sharpies The permanence held strong At least until we stopped being young And our view points Started pointing fingers at one another Even though we were told that staring is rude And pointing is wrong And you have to take responsibility for everything you’ve done But this is not the case Our wide eyes will keep gawking Like we are six years old at a candy store Wanting to taste the sensation of a lollipop too big for our hands to hold We are all cut from the same mold Sculpted by the hands of our ancestors With nicks and chips Scratched on our life sized surface Because we all fell when we rode our bikes for the first time And we all danced with rulers between our stomachs Arms locked stiff Waiting for a hurricane of music To let our young bones give way To the weight of expectations on our shoulders We are not Atlas We cannot bear to carry that boulder But we could care less About dancing across a stage in our underwear We care more about people getting shot and our troops getting murdered Whoever said we were selfish? They don’t know about half the things we believe in Nor do they care to trust our reasoning This world is going to keep spinning Even if it needs an oxygen mask To keep living

Invalid Reality (Strike One) – 8/24/18 Do not tell me it’s not real Do not push your accidental Patriarchal bullshit on me You see I will not allow you to invalidate me To tell me that when my body shakes And my nerves quake It’s not real Growing up They told us to suck it up Kids these days What’s an emotional support animal anyway? Be wary, friend Because your generation is not mine And I have reason to believe That maybe there was something in our water After Flint How can you not With children screaming for their mothers And crying for their fathers And now, they’re without their bottles Look There’s a lot of fucked up shit in this world Enough so That whenever there’s another Trayvon Martin I look both ways before I walk outside I learned while living in the south for four years To dance like crazy down the street Because no one will bother you then There are times When I wonder Why I’m so anxious about everything And nothing All at the same time Days when I think about what might happen If I stop taking my meds for one day Is the pain that runs through my body like a dagger Still real? Or was it psycho-somatic all along I’m tired Of invalidation And feeling like my invisible illnesses Are nothing more Than figments Of my broken imagination The next time You think you know What anxiety feels like Try smiling every time You’re pouring poison down your throat Every time You walk across a street Or pass a lingering unmarked SUV Oh wait You can’t Because you’re white And I’m Black And your anxiety Is not holding you back The next time Someone tries To invalidate my body My health Everything that makes me real I’ll tell them To listen to how I feel

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a – 8/24/18 I am not afraid of flying I am not afraid of living or dying Breathing or being I am... I am afraid of thunderstorms in the dark And being killed in my sleep I am afraid Of getting stopped by a cop Every day Of my life I am afraid Of crying in front of people And in bathrooms And really crying ever I’m afraid of crippling anxiety And pain that makes me wonder If I’ll ever move again I’m afraid that one day One day I’ll never be a writer I’m afraid That I will fail at my dream of being Someone Anyone That will matter to someone else I am not afraid Of jumping off of buildings Probably I am definitely not afraid of roller coasters Although I used to be I’m afraid of never being seen Of the world One day forgetting me

Shirley Temple – 8/24/18 A is for animal crackers in my Alphabet Soup. It also stands for: All the letters cannot be used. B is for... Okay look... B is for bad planning Because there are 26 letters in the alphabet And right now I’m only 25. C is for counting Because what happens when 27 creeps up on my shoulders? It’s not 30, I can’t be 29 forever. C is also for sheep. The ones I never counted When I walked back from one thousand to get to sleep. D is for daddio. Papa doe. Daring. Dashing. And Dapper. Wearing suits straight out of magazines Making every other kid jealous that their dad wasn’t that cool... Or annoying. D is also for dynasty. Or rather legacy. Or more like ancestry. And may I never forget where I came from. E is for exhausted. I’m five letters in And if you’d like to see the exit Follow the emergency lights at your feet. F is for Finn. Like a dolphin. Shark’s fin. Aodfin. For being mine twice And for so long after I am always here Sending you stuffies Don’t forget to write Or call Put me on your speed dial G is for Grace Amazing Grace Viola Grace Grace with a C My Gracie Lew Who My gloriously gorgeous girlfriends Who have shaped me more than they knew H is for... Hannah And hell in a hand basket For he who will never be mentioned And Harry Potter For my lack of fists fights My plethora of harsh words But my comfortable hugs after I is for I For me For hello I’m queer and I’m here And you’re not stopping me today Oh no Not today I’m on my way I’m Dr. Seuss at this rate Give me a book deal I’m rolling J is for Jade Like the gemstone My middle name My bisyllabic middle beginning The only thing ET could pronounce right at Disney World My sparkling shining J With its loops and curves and... K is for Kimberly and Kent My parents My... Tough love Work hard Get your shit done parents Who split at age 10 And finalized it after 11 More years They did what they planned really And I don’t blame them L is for love. An unconditional lather of lavender soap bubbles from laughter For Brooke with an E from Seattle Blowing bubbles wands in traffic jams And men picking fights With a woman they wouldn’t have a chance with... I mean against. M is for... Did you know in 2015 they said I could marry? The queers cried happy tears that day. N is for the n word The negro The night sky Carrying us home Follow the drinking gourd they say Follow the drinking gourd. O is for optimism My forever the extroverted optimist outlook Somehow hiding around the corners of my mind Ostracizing itself from my overall outrageous outgoing state of be P is for Personally I will not get offended if you walk out those doors But you’ve made it this far I promise there’s only a little more Q is for quilts The ones etched in my memories The ones I clutched so dearly Crafted by my great grandmothers fingers Her love sewn into each and every stitch R is for rainbow By Jessie J For Radioactive Relient K OneRepublic Lana del Ray S is for Sister 10 years 10 months 1 day 14 hours And 14 minutes My sister Older Wiser But I’m funnier S is for the brother I gained And the children I will always adore S is also for my SDG The one my heart first yearned for Late night talks And agreeing to disagree 90 percent of the time T is for tyranny For big heads And little arms Am I talking about people? Or dinosaurs? That’s up to U For U. For remember when chat speak was popular And we didn’t use our ultimately untimely interruptions of You’re and your. Their there they’re, my friends. It was once characteristic Wut up? U there? I’ll brb my pos Jk I’ll ttyl There’s the dial tone Ring ring ring Guess who’s on the phone? I hope y’all are old enough to remember Euphorically engaging in chat logs with friends Back when Dial Up was the only thing in your @ mentions V. Like violets Geraniums And the chrysanthemum I had tattooed on my back. For vivacious and vivid For verily merely dancing down sidewalks and side streets W. 11:11 For when I whimsically wish for my wicked wretched weakness in my limbs to go away. For everything to be okay. But before you begin whining while your eyes are wilting X. Marks the spot. Goonies never say die. Treasure Planet And Atlantis. Y. As in, I’ve lied. 25 is too damn close to 26 and I enjoy yearning for the end. Z is for thank you. For the zany adventure. The black and white zebras. The white and black zebras. And everything read all over. Now you know my ABCs. The ones that make up me. Let’s go again, shall we? Geronimo and Allons-y.

Lachlan from The Ghoul Tank joins the No Dice crew as we swashbuckle our way through this hilarious pirate one-shot. Why did a rat win at beer pong? Why didn't the bats go to Bat Yale? Was the meaning of piracy friendship the whole time? Find out the answers to these questions and more in this fantastic adventure!

Welcome back! Tonight you shall behold the second act of The Fantastick Adventures of the Magicke Assholles written by the Great Bard Athenio DeLys! Written by Britty Lea and John S. Quinn-Puerta, based on actual gameplay conceived by Dungeon Master Daniel Bookhoop It was edited by Britty Lea Athenio DeLys was voiced by John S. Quinn-Puerta Tazeleen as Gravelgax, was voiced by Zachary Shock Sabrya, disguised as Myra was voiced by Christine Savage Noelle was voiced by Emily Shock Saoirse was voiced by Lucifer von Forrestington Perry was voiced by Hue Newsworthy Ixen was voiced by Britty Lea Daveed and Casper were voiced by Daniel Bookhoop Company voices were provided by Jessica Amber, Gwen Vetter, and Alex Pierce Audience heckler was voiced by Michael Freitag Tap sequence was performed by Nicole Faith Original Music and Lyrics were written, performed, and edited by John S. Quinn-Puerta Additional music provided by Michael Freitag Sound effects were provided in part by Liz from Steamturtle Sounds Emotional by Rafael Krux Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/5481-emotional- License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Welcome friends and foes! Tonight you shall behold the first act of The Fantastick Adventures of the Magicke Assholles written by the Great Bard Athenio DeLys! Written by Britty Lea and John S. Quinn-Puerta, based on actual gameplay conceived by Dungeon Master Daniel Bookhoop. It was edited by Britty Lea. Athenio DeLys was voiced by John S. Quinn-Puerta Chippetopolis was voiced by Lachlan McIver Dylan was voiced by Ajay Melakayil Farcan, as Gravelgax, was voiced by Thom Freitag Noelle was voiced by Emily Shock Saoirse was voiced by Lucifer von Forrestington Perry was voiced by Hue Newsworthy Ixen was voiced by Britty Lea Daveed and Casper were voiced by Daniel Bookhoop Company voices were provided by Jessica Amber and Gwen Vetter Original Music and Lyrics were written, performed, and edited by John S. Quinn-Puerta, with Chris Deese on mandolin for the Battle in the Forest. Sound effects were provided in part by Liz from Steamturtle Sounds Special thanks to Chris Deese.

Watch out, this fight gets crispier than frying chicken with a flamethrower!

The Magic Assholes discover what the necromancers and the Lich Queen have been up to and it's nothing they could have been prepared for.

The Magic Assholes find themselves back where they began, but somehow everything is different...

Thank you so much for your patience as No Dice worked to get ourselves back onto your podcasting feeds! Since it's been a while, Britty and Daniel relistened to all 27 episodes of the main campaign so you don't have to. Whether you're a new listener or have been with us since episode one let us refresh your memory as we prepare to get back into monthly releases.

These are the voyages of the PPN Show Swap. Their one episode mission, to play a new game (Lasers and Feelings), to right galactic injustices (capitalism bad y'all), to make alien friends, (we love spiders), and to boldly go where so many other podcasts have gone before.