Is your relationship stuck in the anxious-avoidant "trap" or a cycle of pushing and pulling, ups and downs? In this powerful episode, I sit down with relationship writer Rikki Cloos (@anxiousheartsguide on Instagram and TikTok) to talk about why anxious-avoidant relationships feel so hard—and how to make the dynamic more secure. Here's what we discuss:
🔁 How Rikki broke up with her now-husband eight times early on in their relationship—and what finally helped them break the anxious-avoidant cycle
🧠 Why avoidant partners aren't “bad” or emotionally broken—and how anxious partners can unintentionally push them further away
🔍 The surprising ways anxious behavior can create avoidant responses in otherwise secure people
💬 How to stop blaming avoidant attachers and start reflecting on your own role in the anxious-avoidant dynamic
💖 What self-compassion actually looks like—and how changing your inner dialogue can transform every relationship in your life, by starting with the one you have with yourself
🔧 The art of healthy conflict resolution—why it’s essential for growth and how to make conflict feel connecting instead of catastrophic
📈 Why doing the work on yourself (even solo) can shift the entire energy of your relationships, whether platonic or romantic
🛠️ Practical tools, real-life scripts, and tangible phrases you can use in moments of conflict or disconnection
🌱 How secure relationships aren’t found—they’re built through emotional maturity, communication, and mutual effort
Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment:
To connect with Rikki Cloos, visit her website at http://anxiousheartsguide.com/.
Keywords: anxious attachment, relationship dynamics, attachment theory, self-awareness, self-compassion, conflict resolution, healing relationships, secure attachment, personal growth, attachment styles, compassion, relationships, healing, communication, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, personal growth, vulnerability