Every relationship is a unique blend of two individuals, and with that comes the inevitability of differences. Our latest episode dives deep into the crucial topic of how these inherent differences are not dealbreakers1, but rather the very measure by which the health of a relationship is often tested and measured1. We explore the profound insight that how you handle differences tells a lot about who you are and what you think.
Join us as we break down four distinct types of differences that can completely shift the paradigm of how you view and navigate your relationship's unique dynamics. From the destructive pattern of Rejected Differences, which breeds tension, distance, resentment, and can escalate to contempt – identified by Dr. John Gottman as the number one predictor of divorce with a 94% prediction rate – to the more constructive approaches.We'll explore Tolerated Differences, which require a longsuffering approach and self-control to coexist peacefully when a difference isn't a "hill to die on".
Then, we elevate the conversation to Respected Differences, which go beyond mere tolerance to acknowledging and valuing your partner's individuality, fostering trust and appreciation. Finally, we celebrate Celebrated Differences, seeing the elegance and beauty in uniqueness, operating from a mindset preoccupied with gratitude, and understanding that "we" is more important than "me".This episode will highlight how shifting from a mindset of depreciation to one of appreciation can transform how you handle the differences you share.
Learn how understanding and embracing these inevitable differences can help you build a stronger bond and grow your relationship by utilizing what each person brings to the table. Don't miss this essential guide to turning potential conflict into a pathway for deeper connection.
Navigating conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. Often, disagreements arise from misaligned expectations between partners. But what if you could learn to manage conflict more effectively and healthily, creating a safer space for both of you? Drawing inspiration from the structured directives of military Rules of Engagement (ROE), this podcast explores how couples can establish their own relationship ROE.
Discover how setting shared expectations and healthy boundaries during disagreements can help you communicate your needs, minimize potential harm, and ultimately protect your connection. Learn to identify the real issues, address the problem, not the person, and commit to rules that require dedication and intentionality from both partners. Tune in to understand how applying the principle of Rules of Engagement can enhance understanding and strengthen your relationship.
Welcome to My Marriage Mentors, where we equip couples with real tools for lasting love, one minute at a time. In today's deep dive, we’re exploring a conversation that could shift your entire relationship: The 5 Emotional Shifts That Will Change Your Relationship Forever.
Whether you’re newly married, been together for decades, or somewhere in between, your emotional health directly shapes your connection. In this episode, we’ll explore the five critical emotional shifts every couple needs to make—being emotionally available, safe, honest, vulnerable, and responsive.
These aren't just feel-good ideas—they're practical shifts rooted in wisdom, backed by experience, and essential to building trust, intimacy, and resilience in your marriage.
So grab a cup of coffee, a journal, or just a quiet moment—and let’s take a closer look at how your emotions move your marriage.
Because here at My Marriage Mentors, we believe one thing for sure: Love never fails… but it must be nurtured emotionally.
Are "attention-seeking behaviors" only for children? In this episode of the My Marriage Mentors, Dr. Adrianne Wilson and Ovett Wilson delve into a topic seldom discussed in marriages: adult attention-seeking behaviors, or as The Gottman Institute defines them, "bids for attention". A bid for attention is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection.
Drawing on influential research from John Gottman, this episode highlights the crucial difference between couples who thrive and those who don't: their response to these bids. A study following newlyweds over six years found that couples who remained married turned towards each other when bids were presented a remarkable 86% of the time, whereas divorced couples did so only 33% of the time.
Discover why turning towards your spouse instead of away when bids for attention occur is highlighted as the secret to a healthy marriage. While bids can be simple or complex, and sometimes tricky to navigate, especially for men, understanding their primary and secondary layers and the intent and root causes behind them is key.
This episode emphasizes that commitment is a choice, just like choosing to turn towards your partner4. Learn how consciously working on recognizing and responding to bids can drastically improve the well-being of your marriage.
Every relationship is like building a house, and just like any construction, the materials matter. In this episode of My Marriage Mentors, Dr. Adrianne Wilson & Ovett Wilson explore the powerful analogy from their work, "Our House of Bricks" They delve into the four primary types of "bricks" that each person brings to a relationship.
Learn about the Good Bricks – the positive experiences, trust, and communication that form a strong foundation. Understand how Cracked Bricks, representing negative patterns like poor communication or unresolved conflicts, can create weak spots that need attention.... Discover how to approach Broken Bricks, which signify past trauma or deep wounds, with compassion and the potential for healing....
Finally, explore the importance of New Bricks – the tools, skills, and fresh perspectives acquired through life that are essential for growth and adaptation in a long-term bond....Building a resilient relationship is a shared effort, requiring ongoing care and attention to every brick.... While no relationship is perfect, and everyone carries different bricks, you have the power to choose how you deal with them and construct the home you want to build together.
Tune in to understand how recognizing and working with your unique set of bricks can help you build a solid, lasting relationship that stands the test of time.