Oh Finger, what can I say about you? Not much really. You seemed like a good guy, and I’m sorry you had to go the way you did. Perhaps this is what Bastion needs to push himself forward. I guess we shall soon find out, eh? Mad Hedman, let’s play a song in remembrance of a real one.

Sound Effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Okay, I did NOT see that coming. Finger becoming a vampire? Or at least I assume he’s a vampire if he’s sucking on rats. He could just really have a thing for rat blood. It’s good that Bastion was the one to find him though, no? As a person without blood he’s pretty much the most qualified to handle such a creature. What do you think, Max Hedman? Spooky, right?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Talk about a deus ex machina (am I using that correctly?) there at the end. Though I guess our heroes could have mopped up the remainder of the Reghed nomads. At least now we have more Tall Tree! This party is getting pretty big! I hope this doesn’t mean combat will take longer though. What say you, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Okay so like I’m not the only one mad about those kobolds, right? Like I feel like that was just unfair. Personally. Where did these three come from, anyway? I mean I guess the mine. But still. Bastion wasn’t even there for those quests! Why was he punished?? Max Hedman, can you make it make sense to me?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

So Auril is the absolute worst, we can all agree on that. Gods she makes me so angry. Why does she even want the Dale? No one wants to worship her here. Go somewhere else! There are plenty of people who will worship you…just not here! Max Hedman this makes me so mad. I really could just explode.

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat

What a blow! Finally! Good news for ONCE!! Gods I am so excited I could just scream. Without her Roc, Auril can’t make the rime, right?? This is monumental. Max Hedman, break out the brandy! We’re celebrating tonight!

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Oh boy… this is the moment we have been waiting for folks. Auril is front and center and ready to fight. I wish our heroes had gotten more of a rest, but it is what it is at this point. I have faith that they will pull through! They’ve beaten everything thrown at them so far…well majority of them have at least. What do you think, Max Hedman? Want to place bets?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

These tests are so brutal. I get that Auril is an evil goddess, but come on! Also these all seem very dependent on time frame. What happens if someone comes here in a week? Do they repeat these same tests? Probably not I would imagine. But then what are the tests?? It’s all so confusing. Right, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

I…I don’t know what to say. These tests were bad. Auril is not a good goddess. If our heroes weren’t heroes I’d be fine with everything. But they are. And those tests were ostensibly non-heroic. It’s just a lot to take in I think. Max Hedman, let’s go somewhere to contemplate everything.

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Ukuma seems like such a kind soul, I hope our heroes don’t have to fight her at any point. Also what are these tests? They’re a little concerning, truth be told. Anything that is titled after a god frightens me. Right, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Now it is finally time to enter the domain of Auril. What will our heroes find in Grimskalle? Nothing good, I can assure you. One can only hope they find what they are looking for! Right, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

What a harrowing fight! Our heroes truly are lucky, I’m not sure there are many who could have survived that altercation. Yet survive they did! And they will continue to survive as they go on to face the Frost Maiden herself…hopefully. I’ll be honest, Max Hedman, I’m getting nervous. I hope our party can do it. Can you play me something to help ease my nerves?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Woah.. Logic.. has now mysteriously doubled? What harrowing situation will our adventurers have to muck through now? Stay tuned to find out.

By all that is holy…I can’t be the only one frightened right now, right?? I’m shaking as if I was on the island with them. Nothing good can come from being here, but be here our heroes must. Let’s keep them in our thoughts, please. Max Hedman, please play us a song to keep us strong and warm.

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Well those negotiations went well, I think. Time to go to the Sea of Moving Ice! Hopefully that will be easy. Just have to get that Codicil of White. Easy peasy. I’m not worried. You’re not worried either, right Max Hedman??

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

So it looks like shit is about to go down. Which is…troubling to say the least. Well hey, at least Bastion got in a good punch of Stonefist. That guys pisses me off. But now they’ll all die together so I guess it doesn’t matter. You know, I feel like this stubbornness was a way to railroad our heroes into a fight…but surely the DM wouldn’t do that, right?? What say you, Max Hedman??

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Gods I hope this is a good idea. I know Stonefist doesn’t trust this situation, but hopefully he will be able to swallow his pride. Or maybe he’s right and everyone will die! That would be a great end to our story. That was sarcasm by the way. Can you tell sarcasm through text, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

These goliaths have too much drama if you ask me. Give me a tribe that has like, zero bad things happening to it. I’d chill with them. I just don’t understand generational grudges, I guess. They just don’t make sense. Once most of the old guard is gone, who cares what was done to them? Let the young live their lives. How do you feel about it, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

Our Bitter Hearts have been through so much. Now they must be peace keepers. While there is nothing wrong with that, I hope they haven’t lost the plot. At least these Goliaths are agreeable. Let’s hope the next group is as well! I can only imagine that they would be! Right, Max Hedman?

Sound effects courtesy of Zapsplat.

So now our heroes must head to the snowy mountains to the west of Icewind Dale. This place is too big, if you ask me. It could be a bit smaller. Oh well, at least we get some good story out of it! I’m enjoying myself, definitely! How about you, Max Hedman?

Sound Effects courtesy of Zapsplat.