Needs and Wants

When we’re setting our daily intentions about what will make our day a good day we can often find ourselves focused on wants over needs. This is particularly true if we make other people responsible for making our day a success. “I want to make that sale.” “I want my kids to behave.” “I want to the win the competition.” All of these aren’t in our control so we’re relying on other people to help us become fulfilled.

We all have fundamental needs - security, variety, connection, contribution, growth, achievement. Wants are our particular strategy to get our needs met.

I want to go travelling. But it’s 2020 so that’s off the cards right now. I could get upset about that, and have at times. But what’s behind that want, that strategy? My need for freedom and variety. Knowing this, I can look at other ways I can get my needs met.

Knowing that our wants are a strategy to get our needs met, we can be more open to different strategies when external factors force us to change our plans. If you find yourself wanting someone to behave in a certain way, or something to happen, look what’s underneath and ask yourself what’s another way to get this need met?

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