Well I knew adoption would change our lives by finally making us parents, but I did not expect to witness such heroic love in a woman that might have otherwise been invisible to me - kind of embarrassing to admit that. I went into the process selfishly in many ways, but my demeanor shifted slowly as I got to know Bella’s “tummy mommy.” That is saying a lot considering we did not speak the same language. I hope you’ll join us today as I tell this story and hopefully bring some light to women who are often overlooked as poor, stupid, or weak. Giving a child up for adoption is no small feat and we are privileged not only to parent our specific child, but to have encountered such bravery and unconditional love in the process. Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

Hey friends! Mary here. I flew solo for this episode because Elise was sick, but the show must go on! It is almost Mother's Day weekend- one that comes around once a year, but is dreaded by many women struggling through infertility and pregnancy loss. I'm no stranger to this feeling, but have found some comfort in recent years as God has broadened my understanding of authentic motherhood. This new understanding is not a promise to take the pain away, but I do hope this episode will help you to find purpose in it. 

Today, we are fighting for you!  

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

Being quarantined has put a damper on the last couple of months- and maybe even the next few to come. So, we took a break from our in-depth convos to bring you a light hearted and fun game night episode. We each did our own secret quiz research, so neither of us knew what to expect. It was kind of scary. Listen as Elise discovers her internal Disney characters and Mary discovers her “real” rap name. Instead of coming to fight with us today, come play with us instead! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

Friendships can fill us up, drain our cups, or be anywhere in between. In this episode, Elise and I share the story of our friendship and how it was restored after a breakup that lasted years. We are so incredibly grateful that we were patient and open to God as he facilitated our reunion. There is so much opportunity for growth through our relationships! How could God be using you? What does a good friend look like? What does the Bible say about friendship? We had a great chat about all of the above. Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week and since we have already spoken a lot to the heart of the infertile, we wanted to take this opportunity to speak to the hearts of those who care so much for us! We went a little long on this one, but it was worth it. We did not anticipate how needed this chat would be! So whether you are infertile and need some camaraderie or are fertile and want to understand how to love your friends and family who are unable to get pregnant, this episode will be helpful. Most of us know someone who is infertile and genuinely desire to know how to love them. Although every woman and couple is unique, Elise and I got real vulnerable with what has deeply affected us both negatively and positively. Check out our Top 10 lists! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

Can you imagine the pure joy that St. Mary Magdalen experienced as she realized she was gazing upon her risen Lord after she thought his body was taken? Apparently the radiant angels didn’t even faze her- she just wanted to see Him! Jesus is risen! He wants us to experience His joyful presence every day. The more willingly we step into our sufferings, big and small, the more richly we experience the Resurrection. The key word is “willingly.” Let us explain... Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

Fear of a virus and the experience of being quarantined has thrown a huge wrench into all of our plans and all of our emotions. But as always, we have some thoughts for keeping the faith and remaining hopeful! Elise has been essentially living “quarantine adjacent” for nearly 2 years since her chronic illness worsened, so she has already been through the stuck-at-home-stages-of-grief a few times and has some words of wisdom to help us get through this. Check out her video here: https://youtu.be/Vt8M2YYPfP8 We are praying for your safety, solidarity, and solace during these strange times. Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/messybuns/support

“Docile” is defined as “ready to accept instruction; submissive.” It is a quality that is important in the ripening of every Christian, especially when it comes to our plans - both immediate and long term. How easily are we able to “make moves” when the Holy Spirit directs us to? The more we grow in trust and patience, the more naturally docility follows. In this episode, we chat about docility as it applies to life plans, jobs, breakups, buying houses, marriage, and infertility. Come fight with us! 

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

It’s time for a little Lenten check-in! We are about 2 weeks in and have some thoughts about preparation, effectiveness, and endurance: 1. We suck at Lent 2. How to choose what to give up 3. Do I give something up at all? 4. What’s the point? We share our own personal Lenten challenges and talk about standing firm in our identity, especially when Satan is being a jerk. Come fight with us! Here are the recommendations we discussed on the show- FOR TAKING ACTION: Abiding Together https://www.abidingtogetherpodcast.com Pray More Novenas: Pray More Retreat https://praymoreretreat.org Total Whine: GiveItUP NFP https://totalwhine.com/2020/02/23/giveitupnfp-week-1-challenge/ ARTICLES TO READ: Total Whine article https://totalwhine.com/2019/03/02/lent-making-room/ Please Don’t Give Up Social Media for Lent https://www.archbalt.org/please-dont-give-up-social-media-for-lent/?fbclid=IwAR14ZeSLlBWqbNZMhlxlDHkonTAYIRLWmB_NshexnD5uTpSQZlLWxrSc8E BOOK: “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis VIDEO: The Agony in the Garden from “The Passion of the Christ” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Rmv1PmL6q0 

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

We are following up from our last episode about sex with some chat about authentic love, suffering well together, choosing a spouse, and some thoughts on divorce. We share our personal experiences of how we’ve learned from our husbands well before they were our husbands. They chose us for who we are and not for what we can offer them. These are the choices we need to be prepared to make daily in a lasting marriage. Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

Soooo, we date and try to remain chaste. Then we get married and we still try to remain chaste. Avoiding sex is hard, but You’re. Not. Alone! We invited two of our good friends Bridget (newly married) and Mary Grace (in a serious relationship) to have some good, honest girl chat about sex. And to support one another. Have you struggled with this? Have you church hopped to find different priests for confession? How do you deal with shame? How do we love authentically? What are some GOOD tips to help get through this period of sacrifice? We talk about all of this and more in this hot new episode. Come fight with us! 

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

We watched a recent high school Valedictorian give an exceptional speech that rocked our socks off. So we had to podcast about it. Link to Full Speech: https://youtu.be/T76FdtKreNQ Also referenced in this show: Fr. Mike Schmitz on "The Value of Silence": https://youtu.be/-hHjdLtNOwg 

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

It’s extremely widespread in use, but few users know why it was created and what it does to their bodies. How does it work? Is it really an abortifacient? Are there other options? I’m this episode, Mary presents many surprising facts about hormonal birth control and we challenge the idea that it empowers women. How can lack of knowledge empower women? To truly appreciate the design and intelligence of a woman, AND understand sex, we have to respect and understand fertility. This is fertility awareness- a more encompassing term for NFP. Come fight with us! STAT referred to in the show: Breakthrough ovulation occurs between 1.7%-28.6% times per cycle with the combination pill and between 33%-65% per cycle with the progestin-only pill. Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

In this episode we continue our pro life theme by discussing the beginning of life at conception, this time with a special guest!

Elise’s husband, William, hung out with us to talk about their son Elijah Michael Bennett and how very real his life is, despite how tiny he was. And how present he still is!

When people deny the life of a baby at various stages of development, what does that imply about the children whom parents have lost through miscarriage?

This and many more questions will be answered in this honest and heartfelt, yet still slightly humorous episode.

Come fight with us!

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

January is Pro-life month and as many prepare for the March for Life in DC, many are still recuperating from Michelle Williams’ Golden Globe acceptance speech.

In this episode, we break apart some of her quotes and how her thoughts relate to the choice to have sex and living true to women empowerment, exposing many errors in her comments in a way we hope is honest, but charitable.

Come fight with us!

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

Discernment; often otherwise known as “big question marks.” In general, discernment can be tricky. And we feel that discerning adoption carries its own special brand of crazy. Let us explain why...

Elise and I share our personal journeys through adoption discernment and give you another bird’s eye view of the process, but from different perspectives.

Come fight with us!

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

Female Victor Whispers will be a recurring series after ViCTRiX (Latin; “Female Victor”) releases a new song. Lyrics can be powerful. Mary found great healing in expressing her pain and creativity through her lyrics. She and Elise will discuss the origins of each song, what inspired each line, and what it means to Elise.

Today we talk about ViCTRiX (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6Nl-lGDeyYYC11CB6FCyTA) and Oscar Two Ten’s (https://www.youtube.com/user/210oscar ) first released collab “Pen & the Beast.”

Find the song here: https://soundcloud.com/victrix-female-victor/pen-and-the-beast

Music:

Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

How hard is it to say “no?!” ...especially when you’re a people pleaser? How about saying “no” to yourself 😳? In this episode, we talk about knowing (or trying to understand) our limitations and sharpening our daily discernments regarding priorities. Our worth is not measured by how many responsibilities we have. Doing more is not always the answer to the call of holiness. Mother Theresa’s instruction applies to all: “Do small things with great love.” Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

Woo! That’s a mouthful. Elise and I both struggle with vanity-  not the “we love looking at ourselves in the mirror” kind, but the “we care too much about what other people think” kind. Did you know that is also considered vanity? In this episode, Elise breaks down the 3 root sins for us, which is SO helpful in understanding ourselves and growing in unity with God. Often what God asks of us will make us look or feel crazy, but don’t be vain 😂 do it anyway! Elise also tells an awesome story about St. Faustina and obedience. We had some good laughs in this one. Do you have the ingredients for obedience? Come fight with us! Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870

Elise and I watched different interviews with Kanye West since his conversion and heard some memorable and meaningful quotes from this infamous artist.

Is his conversion genuine? Does he want attention? Who knows. Either way, wise words and Jesus praise from such a notable person in pop culture is worth having a conversation about.

Come fight with us!

Music: Simply Vanity by CHRIS HOWLAND @chris_howland itunes.apple.com/us/artist/chris-…wland/1084153870