Welcome to Marriage Grit - a regular podcast with Jason and Emma Schroeder.

In season 6, episode 2 they exlpore biblical love. What actually is it? Is it like the worldview of love? What characteristicd does this biblical resist and embrace? How on earth do we embody it in our marriages? It's a big, beautiful and heartfelt discussion and a call up to live with the love of Jesus.

Resources mentioned in this episode:
Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Marriage : 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp

Welcome to Marriage Grit - a regular podcast with Jason and Emma Schroeder.  

In season 6, episode 1 Jase and Em tackle Expectations - what are they? What should they look like in a relational context? What impacts expectations? And where can they do damage?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

Marriage : 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero

"How can I love you better?" It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage. Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together. Hosted by Ps Jason & Emma Schroeder

"How can I love you better?" It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage. Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together. Hosted by Ps Jason & Emma Schroeder

"How can I love you better?" It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage. Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together. Hosted by Ps Jason & Emma Schroeder

SHOW NOTES:

Point 2: Intentionalise a new communication method

Drive-thru listening :Fast-Food Employee (listener)

• This person’s job is to listen - attentively.
• When receiving an order, you can only repeat back what you’ve heard the same concept applies here. No editing, evaluating, or defending yourself. You can ask to have the order repeated if you did not understand something. However, this is only for clarity — you don’t have to agree.
• Listen for their heart — their feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.
• Pay attention, focus on their words and heart, not being distracted by your right of reply, your own thoughts, your line of defense etc

Customer (speaker):

• This person’s job is to express needs or feelings using “I” statements. No bringing up past issues, starting a new argument, or making blaming “You” statements (e.g., “You always …”).
• Offer “bite-sized” thoughts or information so the other person can remember in order to repeat it back correctly and understand your feelings.
• Share your heart — your feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.

General Rules:

• Repeating statements in the employee role does not mean you agree with what’s being said. Instead, the goal is to listen and validate the other person’s feelings and individuality.
• You are not looking for solutions at this time. Solutions can be sought after each person feels heard and validated.
• Agree to take a time-out if withdrawal, escalation, invalidation, or negative beliefs creep into the conversation.
• When the customer (speaker) feels heard and validated, you switch roles, so both parties get the opportunity to share the heart/belief/feelings.
• Above all else, strive to honour one another in all that is said and repeated.

Point 3: Expand your Toolkit

Key resources to read to help the tension management at the wall

Revisit Season 4, "Expert Minis" where we thumbnail the key aspects of these texts:

• Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
• Gottman, 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work
• Tripp, Marriage : 7 Gospel Principles
• Leman, Sheet Music

"How can I love you better?" It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage. Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together. Hosted by Ps Jason & Emma Schroeder

SHOW NOTES:

Point 2: Intentionalise a new communication method

Drive-thru listening :Fast-Food Employee (listener)

• This person’s job is to listen - attentively.
• When receiving an order, you can only repeat back what you’ve heard the same concept applies here. No editing, evaluating, or defending yourself. You can ask to have the order repeated if you did not understand something. However, this is only for clarity — you don’t have to agree.
• Listen for their heart — their feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.
• Pay attention, focus on their words and heart, not being distracted by your right of reply, your own thoughts, your line of defense etc

Customer (speaker):

• This person’s job is to express needs or feelings using “I” statements. No bringing up past issues, starting a new argument, or making blaming “You” statements (e.g., “You always …”).
• Offer “bite-sized” thoughts or information so the other person can remember in order to repeat it back correctly and understand your feelings.
• Share your heart — your feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.

General Rules:

• Repeating statements in the employee role does not mean you agree with what’s being said. Instead, the goal is to listen and validate the other person’s feelings and individuality.
• You are not looking for solutions at this time. Solutions can be sought after each person feels heard and validated.
• Agree to take a time-out if withdrawal, escalation, invalidation, or negative beliefs creep into the conversation.
• When the customer (speaker) feels heard and validated, you switch roles, so both parties get the opportunity to share the heart/belief/feelings.
• Above all else, strive to honour one another in all that is said and repeated.

Point 3: Expand your Toolkit

Key resources to read to help the tension management at the wall

Revisit Season 4, "Expert Minis" where we thumbnail the key aspects of these texts:

• Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
• Gottman, 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work
• Tripp, Marriage : 7 Gospel Principles
• Leman, Sheet Music

"How can I love you better?" It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage. Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together. Hosted by Ps Jason & Emma Schroeder

SHOW NOTES:

Point 2: Intentionalise a new communication method

Drive-thru listening :
Fast-Food Employee (listener)

• This person’s job is to listen - attentively.
• When receiving an order, you can only repeat back what you’ve heard the same concept applies here. No editing, evaluating, or defending yourself. You can ask to have the order repeated if you did not understand something. However, this is only for clarity — you don’t have to agree.
• Listen for their heart — their feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.
• Pay attention, focus on their words and heart, not being distracted by your right of reply, your own thoughts, your line of defense etc

Customer (speaker):

• This person’s job is to express needs or feelings using “I” statements. No bringing up past issues, starting a new argument, or making blaming “You” statements (e.g., “You always …”).
• Offer “bite-sized” thoughts or information so the other person can remember in order to repeat it back correctly and understand your feelings.
• Share your heart — your feelings, fears, beliefs and emotions.

General Rules:

• Repeating statements in the employee role does not mean you agree with what’s being said. Instead, the goal is to listen and validate the other person’s feelings and individuality.
• You are not looking for solutions at this time. Solutions can be sought after each person feels heard and validated.
• Agree to take a time-out if withdrawal, escalation, invalidation, or negative beliefs creep into the conversation.
• When the customer (speaker) feels heard and validated, you switch roles, so both parties get the opportunity to share the heart/belief/feelings.
• Above all else, strive to honour one another in all that is said and repeated.

Point 3: Expand your Toolkit

Key resources to read to help the tension management at the wall

Revisit Season 4, "Expert Minis" where we thumbnail the key aspects of these texts:

• Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
• Gottman, 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work
• Tripp, Marriage : 7 Gospel Principles
• Leman, Sheet Music

"How can I love you better?"

It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage.

Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together.

SHOW NOTES:

• 1/ ⁠K10 Mental Health online assessment⁠

• 2/ Basic triage of mental health and its intersection with spirituality : Ask yourself  (using 1-10 rating scale)How much stress is this causing?How much is this impinging on my life? (consider sleep, relationships, daily functioning)How is this impacting my spirituality namely my sense of God, self and faith? Evaluate your score here

• 4/ Helplines 

Lifeline (13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14), Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), Headspace (12-25 year olds 1800 650 890), Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467)

• 5/ Some key resources that have shaped my mental health experience and understanding: 

Darkness is my only Companion by Kathryn Greene-McKnight (Priest and theologian lives with bi-polar)Finding Jesus in the Storm by John Swinton (previous chaplain to the Queen, theologian, registered mental health nurse)The Night is Normal by Dr Alicia Chole (Doctorate in Ministry and Spiritual Formation)The Other Side of Happiness by Brock Bastian (Associate Professor in School of Psychological Sciences Melbourne)A non-anxious Presence by Mark Sayers (Pastor, Cultural Commentator, has bi-polar)Troubled Minds by Amy Simpson (2013 Christianity Today Book Award Winner)Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero (Founder of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship)Kate C Bowler's work including her podcast, devotionals, books (Associate Professor of Christian History, Academic, Podcaster, stage IV cancer survivor)

Helpful Scriptures:

• 2 Timothy 1:7
• Romans 12:2
• Romans 15:13
• Philippians 4:6-7
• 1 Kings 18
• Luke 8:49-55
• Matthew 16:24
• Matthew 26:36-45
• Philippians 4:8

"How can I love you better In Grief ?"

It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage.

Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together.

"How can I love you better today?"

It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage.

Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together.

"How can I love you better today?"

It's a brave question. An interesting question. A profound, yet simple question. It's a really effective question to help with small, achievable steps towards a more healthy and flourishing marriage.

Join us this season as we deep-dive into this question together.

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!

This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller.

SHOW NOTES:

⁠⁠The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!

This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller.

SHOW NOTES:

⁠The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!

This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around The Four Horsemen of marriage, from John Gottman's 'The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work'.

SHOW NOTES:

'The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work' by John Gottman

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!

This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around The Four Horsemen of marriage, from John Gottman's 'The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work'.

SHOW NOTES:

The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around sex with insights from author 'Sheet Music', Kevin Leman.

SHOW NOTES:

Sheet Music by Kevin Leman

https://www.amazon.com.au/Sheet-Music-Kevin-Leman/dp/0842360247

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!This episode Ps Jase & Em begin their discussion around sex with insights from author 'Sheet Music', Kevin Leman.

Sheet Music by Kevin Leman

https://www.amazon.com.au/Sheet-Music-Kevin-Leman/dp/0842360247

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!This episode Ps Jase & Em continue their discussion around some insights from pastor & author, Mike Todd.

SHOW NOTES:

Relationship Goals: How to Win At Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd

⁠https://www.koorong.com/product/relationship-goals-how-to-win-at-dating-marriage-and-sex-michael_9780593192573⁠

Relationships expert mini episodes: gritty, helpful insights from those who know their stuff!
This episode Ps Jase & Em continue their discussion around some insights from pastor & author, Mike Todd.

SHOW NOTES:

Relationship Goals: How to Win At Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd
https://www.koorong.com/product/relationship-goals-how-to-win-at-dating-marriage-and-sex-michael_9780593192573