This episode first aired on April 26, 2021 (Episode 243), and I’m bringing it back because so many listeners told me it felt like I was speaking directly to their experience. Living with a partner who always seems angry is confusing, painful, and can leave you feeling constantly on edge. In this episode, I’ll help you understand what’s really happening in that dynamic and share strategies to move back toward safety and connection. Whether you’re in the middle of it now, reflecting on a past relationship, or supporting someone you care about, my hope is that this brings you both clarity and comfort. Anger in relationships is almost always a secondary emotion. Beneath the sharp words or defensiveness, there’s usually hurt, fear, or a longing to feel cared for. I’ll walk you through why trying to shut anger down often makes things worse, how shifting your own responses can change the cycle, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and create space for vulnerability. As you listen, consider: What story have you been telling yourself about your partner’s anger? What might shift if you saw the pain or fear underneath it? And how could you show up in a way that invites connection instead of distance? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Understanding Why Your Partner Always Seems Angry 05:47 The Pursue–Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:02 What’s Really Driving Anger in a Relationship 18:03 When Anger Crosses Into Abuse 20:03 How to Rebuild Trust Through Emotional Availability 24:28 Anger as a Secondary Emotion: Hurt and Fear Beneath the Surface 27:03 How Counseling and Support Can Shift Entrenched Patterns 28:06 Recommended Resources for Healing Relationships If you’re tired of replaying the same arguments, I created my Communication That Connects Free Training to help. It’s a crash course in breaking conflict loops and building conversations that bring you closer. It comes with a workbook so you can start practicing right away. You might also love my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s quick, but it will give you such a clear picture of your strengths as a couple and the areas that might need more care. Sometimes just naming what’s really going on is the first step to healing. For more ongoing support, join me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share tools and encouragement every week. And if this episode sparked a question or made you think of a topic you’d like me to cover, I’d love to hear from you - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on May 3, 2021 (Episode 244), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you told me how much it resonated. If you’ve ever struggled with a partner who shuts down or found yourself withdrawing, this one’s worth revisiting. Whether you’re navigating it now, reflecting on the past, or supporting someone you love, I hope it brings clarity and hope. Few things hurt more than reaching for your partner and being met with silence. In this episode, I’m unpacking why people shut down, how it damages connection, and what you can do to change the pattern. We’ll look at the pursue-withdraw cycle, Gottman’s “Four Horsemen,” and why emotional safety is the key to breaking through. You’ll learn how to soften your approach, communicate vulnerably, and rebuild trust - while also considering when it’s time to stop chasing and start filling your own cup.  As you listen, think about how you usually respond when your partner withdraws and what effect that has. Consider what might change if you focused more on creating safety than on pushing for answers. And ask yourself where you could begin creating fulfillment in your own life, instead of waiting for your partner to engage. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction & Why Partners Shut Down 06:00 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:04 The Impact of Withdrawal and Avoidance 13:01 Gottman’s Four Horsemen & The Cost of Stonewalling 15:12 Why Withdrawal Happens & When It’s About More Than You 20:40 Creating Emotional Safety and Communicating Vulnerably 28:04 Positive Reinforcement, Diplomacy & Patience 36:10 Filling Your Own Cup & Breaking the Chase Cycle If you’d like more support as you work on these skills, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training. It’s designed to help you move out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, and it comes with a workbook to guide you through the process. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for quick insight into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth. Let’s stay connected beyond the podcast. I share more tools and encouragement every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I’d love to hear from you if this episode sparked a question, gave you an idea for a future topic, or made you think about your relationship in a new way - let’s talk! And a special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but I don’t always have time to sit down with a book. The Headway app makes it easy to keep growing with bite-sized summaries of the best titles out there, and I use it almost every day. If you’d like to try it, you can save 25% at makeheadway.com/lhs with the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever been totally into someone and then suddenly… you get the ick? One minute you’re feeling the spark, the next you’re questioning everything over something as small as flip-flops. Getting the ick can feel like a dealbreaker, but does it really mean your relationship is doomed - or is it pointing to something deeper inside of you? In this episode, I talk with therapist and journalist Matt Hussey about what the ick really is, why it shows up, and how to handle it without panicking or shutting down. We’ll look at the biology of disgust, the ways old hurts and perfectionism can shape our reactions, and how curiosity can transform that “ugh” moment into an opportunity for growth and connection. Matt also points out (as he shared in Vogue) that sometimes the ick is less about your partner and more about self-protection. Instead of working through discomfort or vulnerability, we latch onto surface-level quirks. Understanding that difference between a fleeting ick and a real red flag can help you respond with clarity instead of fear. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is the Ick? 03:00 Getting the Ick in Modern Relationships 11:13 Why Curiosity Matters More Than Snap Judgments 22:07 Self-Protection, Trauma, and the Ick 29:15 How to Handle the Ick in Relationships 38:29 Avoidant Attachment and the Ick 44:10 Fantasy vs. Reality in Love Reflect with me for a moment: What has triggered the ick for you in the past? Did it reveal something about your partner, or did it say more about what was happening inside of you? And how might curiosity change the way you respond the next time those feelings come up? If you’d like more support around communication and connection, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training and take the How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working and what could use care. And let’s stay connected - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share more tools to help you grow in love and life. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you’d like me to explore next, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! I also want to thank today’s sponsor, Headway. As much as I love books, finding time to read isn’t always realistic. That’s why I use the Headway app - it gives me key takeaways from incredible books in minutes. I use it almost every day as part of my own growth. You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever felt stuck between knowing what you should do and actually following through? That gap between intention and action isn’t a character flaw - it’s your brain running old programs. What if you could rewrite them? That’s exactly what I explored with Dr. David Spiegel, pioneer in clinical hypnotherapy research, author, and founder of the Reveri self-hypnosis app. He breaks down how hypnosis isn’t mind control or stage tricks, but a focused state of attention that helps you get out of your own way and create real change in your sleep, eating, weight, pain, stress, and habits. We talk about the science of self-hypnosis, why it works when insight alone doesn’t, and how technology is making it accessible to everyone. Dr. Spiegel also guides me (and you) through a live mini-session so you can feel what it’s like yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome: Dr. David Spiegel 02:00 What Hypnosis Really Is (and Isn’t) 07:30 How Hypnosis Rewires the Brain and Reduces Pain 13:00 Self-Hypnosis for Smoking Cessation and Habit Change 20:00 Hypnosis vs. Meditation 26:00 The Reveri Self-Hypnosis App 33:00 Brain Science Behind Hypnosis 38:00 Using Hypnosis for Anxiety, Phobias, and Pain 47:00 Final Thoughts and Dr. Spiegel’s Mission What would change if you stopped relying on willpower alone and started using your brain’s own hidden tools for healing and growth? If you’ve been feeling stuck and aren’t sure why, my What’s Holding You Back? Quiz can help you uncover the hidden patterns, beliefs, or behaviors that might be silently sabotaging your progress. It’s a quick, eye-opening way to gain clarity and take the first step forward. And let’s stay connected beyond the podcast - I’m sharing new tools and insights every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you’d like me to cover in the future, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Before we wrap up, I want to thank the sponsor of today’s episode, Headway. We’ve been talking about the power of self-hypnosis to rewire your mind, and for me, reading is another way I open myself up to new perspectives. But life is busy, and I don’t always have the time to curl up with a full book. That’s why I love Headway. It takes the best books on psychology, personal growth, and beyond, and distills them into bite-sized insights I can actually fit into my day. I use it every morning, and it’s such a simple way to keep growing. And the best part? You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. Here’s to learning, healing, and creating the kind of change that lasts. 🌱

Have you ever said you’re “anxious” or “burned out,” only to realize those words don’t really capture what’s happening inside you? The way we label our emotions shapes how we experience them — and when the language is off, so is our path to healing. In this episode, I’m joined by author, creator, and mindfulness expert Case Kenny to talk about how mindfulness becomes powerful and practical when it’s rooted in language. Case shares how guided journaling and emotional vocabulary can help you move past vague “forest words” into precise truths that open the door to optimism, self-trust, and more authentic connections. We also dig into how so-called “negative” emotions — what I like to call dark emotions — aren’t obstacles to avoid but important signals that can strengthen your growth and your relationships. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Intentional Living and Mindfulness 01:06 The Power of Emotional Vocabulary 06:01 Guided Journaling for Emotional Clarity 15:22 Rethinking Settling Down in Relationships 20:05 Emotional Priming and How Language Shapes Experience 23:04 Building Self-Trust and Emotional Resilience 33:02 Embracing Dark Emotions for Growth 35:16 Communication and Emotional Connection in Love If this conversation left you thinking, “I want to do this work in my own life,” I’d love to help. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team, and we’ll match you with the right expert for your goals. Whether you’re ready to deepen your self-awareness, work through old patterns, or create more authentic connections, we’ll give you the guidance and resources to start moving forward with clarity and confidence. And let’s keep the conversation going: join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube for weekly tools and encouragement. If this episode sparked a question or idea you’d love me to cover in the future, let’s talk! Before we wrap up, I want to share something that’s been such a great companion to the kind of mindful growth we talked about today. You know I’m all about finding practical ways to keep learning, but with a busy life it can be hard to carve out quiet hours with a book. That’s why I’ve been loving the Headway app. It distills the big ideas from some of the best books into quick, actionable insights you can take with you right away. I’ve made it part of my own morning routine, and it’s such an easy way to keep stretching your mind every day. And here’s the best part — you can try it for yourself and save 25%. Just head to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever had a boss who left you walking on eggshells, never sure what mood they’d bring into the office? Maybe they humiliated people in meetings, lashed out without warning, or drained you so much that you came home with nothing left for yourself. A bully boss can affect far more than your workday. In this episode, I’m talking with Mita Mallick, speaker, workplace strategist, coach, and bestselling author. She’s sharing stories from her own career and what she’s learned about surviving toxic leaders - from executives who throw shoes to managers who use “toxic positivity” as a weapon. Mita also offers strategies for spotting warning signs in an interview, building an exit plan that protects your career, and regaining your confidence once you’ve left. We also explore the patterns that keep people stuck in unhealthy workplaces: how old experiences can shape what we tolerate, why many of us think we can “outwork” a bad boss, and what it really takes to reclaim your well-being. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How Toxic Jobs Affect Your Life 00:43 Meet Mita Mallick: Speaker, Strategist, and Author 01:22 Surviving Abuse from a Bully Boss 07:16 Workplace Trauma and Mental Health 18:02 How to Spot Red Flags in Job Interviews 28:34 Types of Toxic Bosses and Their Behaviors 38:25 Exit Strategies and Rebuilding Confidence If you’d like more support beyond this conversation, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We can help you make thoughtful career decisions, strengthen boundaries, and protect your mental health at work. I also encourage you to check out Mita’s new book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses. You can connect with her directly on LinkedIn and Instagram to keep learning from her insights on leadership and workplace culture. And of course, you can always stay connected with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share weekly tips and encouragement. I’d love to hear your thoughts - your questions and feedback always help shape future episodes. Let’s talk! I also want to extend a big thank-you to Headway for sponsoring this episode. Headway helps me keep growing, even on the busiest days, by making it possible to learn from the world’s top books in just minutes. I use it every day. I truly love it, and I think you will too. Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I don’t know if I should stay, and I don’t know if I should go”? That painful in-between is called relationship ambivalence, and it can quietly drain years of your life if you don’t get clarity. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship researcher Dr. Merideth Thompson, who knows that limbo all too well. After staying stuck for nearly a decade, she created Partner Lab, a research-based company focused on improving relationships as a cornerstone of overall wellness. Together we’ll explore what the science says about relationship health, the “Clarity Matrix” she developed to cut through the fog, and the real-life questions that matter most when deciding whether to stay or leave. We also talk openly about staying “for the kids,” how familiar but unhealthy dynamics keep us hooked, and why actions, not words, show you whether your partner is really invested. Our goal isn’t to tell you whether to stay or go. It’s to give you the clarity and confidence to trust yourself again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave My Relationship? 01:43 Dr. Merideth Thompson’s Story and the Birth of Partner Lab 03:34 Research Insights on Relationship Health 09:51 The Clarity Matrix: Influence, Control, and Deal Breakers 14:06 Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Commitment 18:31 Discernment Counseling: Knowing If Change Is Possible 20:24 Actions Speak Louder Than Words in Relationships 28:02 Finding Clarity and Validation in Ambivalence 36:06 Parenting, Divorce, and Protecting Children 44:11 The Clarity Circle: Community and Support Want more support as you practice these skills? My free Communication That Connects Training will give you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into deeper connection, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m a huge fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Do you ever feel like life is harder for you than it is for everyone else? On the outside you’re smart, capable, and creative. But inside you feel overwhelmed, scattered, and constantly behind. That could be a sign of undiagnosed ADHD. In this episode, I’m talking with Shanna Pearson, Founder and President of Expert ADHD Coaching, about how ADHD often shows up in women, why it’s so frequently mistaken for anxiety or depression, and the lifelong impact of being misunderstood. We also share practical tools to help you externalize the chaos in your mind and stay present with the people you love. As you listen, reflect on this: 🌱 Have you carried a quiet sense of being “different” without knowing why? 🌱 How often do you feel overwhelmed by things that seem easy for others? 🌱 What would shift if you saw those struggles through the lens of ADHD? If you’ve ever thought, “What’s wrong with me?” - nothing is wrong with you. Understanding your brain is the first step toward compassion, clarity, and lasting change. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Undiagnosed ADHD in Women 01:36 Shanna Pearson’s ADHD Story 09:26 Inattentive vs Hyperactive ADHD 13:24 ADHD Misdiagnosis: Anxiety & Depression 17:17 What a Real ADHD Assessment Looks Like 22:05 Managing Overwhelm and Prioritizing 48:47 Pills Don’t Teach Skills If you’d like more support beyond this episode, you’re welcome to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. Many of our coaches have completed advanced ADHD training, so you’ll be matched with someone who understands these challenges and can provide tailored strategies to help you thrive. And if today’s conversation resonated with you, I highly recommend Shanna Pearson’s new book, Invisible ADHD. It’s filled with over a hundred practical tools and strategies to help you navigate life with more ease and confidence. You can also stay connected with me between episodes on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where I share weekly tips and encouragement. And I’d love to hear from you - your questions and feedback always help shape future episodes. Let’s talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m such a fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. With Headway, I’m able to absorb the key insights from incredible books in minutes, instead of weeks. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever had a blow-up with your partner and then sat in that heavy silence wondering what to do next? This episode is your guide to how to make up after a fight—and the real skill that keeps love strong: repair. Happy couples don’t avoid conflict; they learn how to come back to each other with intention, humility, and care. We’ll look at why “never go to bed angry” is a myth (your brain actually needs space to calm down), how self-reflection helps you share your feelings without blame, and why small repair bids—like saying, “Yesterday was rough, can we talk tomorrow?”—can open the door to understanding. I’ll also share ways to use your couple strengths, whether it’s touch, shared rituals, or humor, to restore warmth and connection. Repair takes practice, and each attempt adds another layer of strength to your relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: How to Make Up After a Fight 02:00 Why Relationship Repair Matters 06:07 The Anatomy of a Repair Attempt 12:07 Repairing After a Bad Fight 21:05 Communicating Effectively With Your Partner 28:07 Using Strengths to Reconnect 37:12 Humility, Growth, and Mindset Shifts 41:08 Free Resources & Next Steps Reflect with me: 🌱 When do you know it’s time to pause instead of pushing through? 🌱 What do you wish your partner understood about your feelings in that moment? 🌱 Which strengths could you lean on to reconnect after hard moments? Want more support as you practice these skills? My Free Communication That Connects Masterclass gives you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what’s working and what needs care. I’d love to stay connected beyond the podcast. Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you’d like me to explore in the future, I’d love to hear from you—let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever felt like you just can’t win? If you’re too nice, people don’t take you seriously. If you’re too direct, suddenly you’re “too much.” For so many women, this double bind — rooted in gender double standards — is exhausting. My guest, Dr. Kate Mason, calls this out for what it is: a trap. We’ve been sold the lie that you can either be likable or powerful, but not both. And we’re here to burn that old playbook and create something better. Kate shows us how likeability isn’t weakness at all — it’s actually a form of power. But when it tips into people-pleasing and what she calls “imposing syndrome,” we start shrinking ourselves, downplaying our ideas, and apologizing for existing. On the flip side, many women hold back for fear of being labeled aggressive, bossy, or difficult. So how do you walk that tightrope without losing yourself? That’s what we’re unpacking in this conversation. You’ll learn how to recognize the subtle ways you undermine your own authority, how to communicate with both warmth and strength, and how to create a personal style of relating that feels authentic to you. Because the truth is, you don’t have to choose between being liked and being respected. As you listen, I’d love for you to reflect: 🌱 When do you catch yourself softening your words so you won’t “impose”? 🌱 Where are you still carrying old stories about what power “should” look like? 🌱 And what might change if you gave yourself permission to claim both likability and authority on your own terms? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Likability Trap and Gender Double Standards 01:54 Kate Mason’s Story and the Myth of Two Options 05:01 Likability as Power vs. People-Pleasing 06:05 Imposing Syndrome and How We Minimize Ourselves 13:05 Practical Tools: Personal Audits and Self-Awareness 20:00 Breaking the Binary: Authentic Relating Beyond Gender Roles 34:01 Case Study: Transforming Voice, Posture, and Confidence 43:05 How to Develop Likable Power in Everyday Life If you’d like more support beyond this episode, you’re welcome to book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll connect you with the right expert for your goals and send you a personalized set of free resources to help you move forward in your career, relationships, or personal growth. You can also stay connected with me between episodes on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, where I share new tips and encouragement every week. And I’d love to hear from you — your questions, feedback, and ideas for future episodes always help shape these conversations. Let’s talk! And if you’d like to connect with Dr. Kate Mason, you can find her on Instagram and LinkedIn. Be sure to check out her new book, Powerfully Likeable, coming September 9th — you can pre-order your copy now to dive even deeper into the ideas we explored today. I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today’s episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That’s why I’m such a fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it’s been a true game-changer for my personal growth. With Headway, I’m able to absorb the key insights from incredible books in minutes, instead of weeks. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use the promo code LHS. Let’s keep learning and growing together. 🌱 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

This episode originally aired on April 3, 2023 (Episode 343), and we’re bringing it back because it resonated with so many of you. Whether you’re reflecting on a past relationship, navigating one right now, or supporting clients through these dynamics, the lessons are worth revisiting. Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying? Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you. This episode is going to show you how. If you’re in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Attachment Styles Matter   02:42 Core Conflict: Desire for Closeness vs. Space   07:04 The Push-Pull Dynamic of Anxious and Avoidant Partners   11:08 Can Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Be Healthy?   16:09 Finding Compatible Partners & Building Security   17:02 Strategies for Anxious Attachment   18:06 Strategies for Avoidant Attachment   33:04 Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Are Drawn Together   42:05 Avoidant Discomfort with Closeness & Anxious Pursuing Behaviors   45:06 Doing the Work: Self-Awareness and Self-Management   49:04 Practical Tools for Avoidant Partners   55:00 True Love as a Conscious Choice   Want to know where your relationship stands today? Try my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It gives you quick insights into what’s working well and where you might want to focus your growth together. If this resonated with you, let’s keep it going. I share more relationship advice and tools on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and I’d love to hear your thoughts too, whether it’s feedback on the show, questions about past episodes, or ideas for what you’d like me to cover next. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

“Am I falling behind in life?” If you’ve ever looked around and thought everyone else is getting married, buying houses, and having babies while you’re still figuring things out, you’re not alone. In this episode, we’re getting real about that sinking, lonely feeling that comes when your life stage doesn’t match your friends’. We’ll talk about why there’s no one “right” timeline, how to get out of the comparison trap, and ways to reconnect with your sense of self-worth no matter where you are right now. I’ll share five steps to help you make peace with your path, let go of judgment (yours and theirs), and create the kind of connections that actually feel good. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why You Might Feel Behind in Life 03:36 Feeling Out of Sync With Life Stages 05:00 Escaping the Comparison Trap 10:00 How Values and Circumstances Shape Life Timelines 18:00 Grieving Changes in Friendships 26:00 Overcoming Self and External Judgment 41:00 How to Cultivate New Relationships as an Adult 49:00 Keeping Old Friends Without Losing Yourself What would change if you stopped measuring your life against someone else’s milestones? How might it feel to find friends who truly get you in this season? And what old connections might be worth keeping in a different way? If you’re ready for more support beyond this episode, you can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We’ll match you with the right expert for your goals and send you a tailored set of free resources to help you start creating the changes you want in your relationships, your career, or your personal growth. I’m also sharing new tips, insights, and encouragement every week on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you feel confident in your path and connected in your relationships. And I’d love to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d like me to cover next are always welcome. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self 🌱

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love you… but right now, I really don’t like you”? It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you’re human. In this episode, we’re getting real about what happens when the warm fuzzies fade and the little things like how they breathe, chew, or leave their glass next to the sink suddenly feel huge. Can you love someone and not like them? Absolutely. But how you handle those moments will decide whether they pull you apart or bring you closer. I’ll walk you through how to tell the difference between harmless quirks, patterns that need attention, and true deal breakers. You’ll learn why 70% of relationship conflicts are about unchangeable differences, how emotional disconnection can make every annoyance feel bigger, and what it actually takes to shift from criticism to curiosity. We’ll talk about building the emotional intelligence skills that help you stay grounded, see each other’s perspective, and communicate in a way that leads to connection instead of a fight. Episode Breakdown 00:00 The Myth of Effortless Relationships 03:07 Dr. John Gottman’s Research on Conflict & Compatibility 05:47 Turning Friction Points Into Opportunities for Relationship Growth 07:10 Daily Annoyances vs. Deal Breakers: A Clarity Exercise 10:35 How Positive Connection Reduces Relationship Frustration 14:22 The Emotional Intelligence Skills That Lead To Better Relationships 22:03 Understanding Your Partner’s Perspective with Empathy 24:45 Effective Communication Strategies That Actually Work 31:00 Discernment Counseling: Is This Relationship Fixable? You can have a great relationship with someone who occasionally drives you up the wall, and this episode shows you how. If you’re ready to stop spinning in communication loops and finally feel heard without starting a fight, check out my free Communication that Connects 2-Part Training. It gives you the exact skills and tools to handle these moments differently, plus a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what’s working, what’s not, and where you can start building a more connected partnership today. And if this episode struck a chord, let’s stay in touch. I’m always sharing more tips and resources on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you turn those little friction points into deeper connection. I also want to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you’d love me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever stared at your phone, rereading a text that ended with a period and spiraled into, “Oh no… are they mad at me?” Or maybe someone didn’t heart your Instagram story, and suddenly your nervous system is in full red alert mode. If so, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken. I’m joined by psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to talk about the fawn response, a lesser-known trauma response that shows up as people-pleasing, overthinking, and needing to manage how others feel about you. We’re digging into where this comes from, why it’s so common (especially if you grew up walking on eggshells), and how to start untangling yourself from it. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Relational Hypervigilance? 02:22 Meg Josephson’s Journey With People-Pleasing 10:37 Understanding Complex Trauma and Emotional Safety 17:05 What Is the Fawn Response? 23:23 How Hypervigilance Disconnects You From Yourself 31:15 How People-Pleasing Impacts Boundaries 36:27 Why “Negative” Emotions Like Resentment Matter 41:11 Reassurance vs. Emotional Validation 46:07 Letting Go of Control and Reclaiming Your Energy 49:37 Healing Through Self-Awareness and Discomfort 51:13 Where to Find Meg Josephson’s Work If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I always feel like I’m in trouble?” or “Why is it so hard to set boundaries without guilt?” – this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath those feelings and what healing can actually look like. Ready to stop twisting yourself into knots trying to keep everyone else happy? My Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program can help you reconnect with you – your voice, your boundaries, your sense of calm. If you’re done second-guessing and ready to start showing up authentically, this is your next step. 🌱  Let’s stay connected! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re building healthier, happier relationships – one conversation at a time. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Meg’s book “Are You Mad at Me?” comes out August 5th – and it is SO GOOD! You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok. Check out her Substack, Peace of Mind. Highly recommend. 

Trust: It's the glue of secure attachment that holds a relationship together. If it's broken, everything changes. How do you repair trust once it's been damaged? The fantasy is that we can say "sorry" and the trust switch will flip back on... But it's not that easy. In fact, for trust to be restored, it requires a very specific process that both partners need to engage in. This is such a common and important part of the work for many couples seeking to repair their bond, so I'm putting this re-issued episode back in front of you. You'll learn why "Sorry" isn't good enough, and you'll also learn the worst mistake you can make if you're trying to repair the trust in your marriage. I'll also teach you the five action-steps you must take to mend trust for real, and how to use them to restore the security to your marriage. I sincerely hope these ideas help you heal the trust in your relationship.  xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com PS: Changes are on the way here at Love, Happiness, and Success. For starters, you'll get more episodes... but you'll also start hearing promos on the show from time to time. Let's stay connected through this transition. Compliments? Complaints? Questions? Let's Talk.

“Why doesn’t my partner want me?” — If that question has ever kept you up at night, this one’s for you.  Lately, I’ve been hearing from so many of you that this topic — what to do when your partner rejects you sexually — is really on your hearts and minds. And I get it. It’s such a vulnerable, tender pain point that touches on self-worth, connection, and love.  Whether it’s happened once or it’s become a painful pattern, feeling sexually rejected can stir up everything from shame and anxiety to resentment and loneliness. That’s why I wanted to bring back this powerful episode — because the guidance here is so helpful, and it’s something I want you to have access to when you need it most.  In this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast, I’m joined by my brilliant colleague and sex therapist Dori to talk openly (and compassionately!) about what’s really going on behind those “not tonight” moments — and what you can do to heal the hurt, reconnect with your partner, and bring intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels good for both of you. We’ll walk you through the emotional impact of rejection, common myths about sex and desire, how to communicate with love and honesty, and actionable strategies to reconnect both emotionally and physically. You’ll leave this episode with insight and tools  to navigate sexual rejection with grace, strength, and clarity. Timestamps: 01:13 – Why Rejection Feels So Personal 02:29 – Understanding the Emotional Fallout 05:57 – Gender, Expectations, and Sexual Scripts 13:16 – The Body Image Trap 18:09 – When It’s Not Really Rejection 21:33 – Why Planning for Intimacy Matters 24:21 – Nonsexual Touch: A Game-Changer 24:53 – Talking About Sex Without Shame 25:18 – What “Responsive Desire” Means 25:45 – Designing a Sex-Positive Life Together 30:12 – Hug Me, Don’t Just Want Me 32:24 – Loving Boundaries & Body Autonomy 35:40 – The Avoidance Spiral 38:25 – Intimacy Beyond Intercourse 44:54 – When It’s Time to Get Help If you're feeling disconnected, uncertain, or hurt in your relationship — especially around intimacy, I totally get it. It’s hard to talk about these things, and even harder to know what’s really going on beneath the surface.  I created a free research-backed tool to help you get some clarity: How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s a thoughtful, science-backed assessment designed to give you clarity on your strengths, your growth areas, and what to focus on for a more connected, satisfying partnership. I hope you check it out! Let’s stay connected! You can find me here on Instagram and YouTube for more free resources and updates on new episodes of Love, Happiness & Success. Together, we’re creating healthier, happier relationships — one conversation at a time. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com  

I have something personal to share. This podcast — this weekly connection with you — is one of my favorite parts of my work. It's not even fair to call it work. If I won the lottery and never had to work for money again, I'd still be here with you, every week. (Recording from my penthouse in Copenhagen, but still). And... I have not won the lottery, sadly. And producing a well-done podcast is expensive. And after 10 years of offering this freely (and with joy!), I’ve realized that growing it further and making it better means accepting help, and trying new things. Yep, I need to practice what I preach to you!  Here's the deal: I’m partnering with a media company that’s doing things differently, giving creators like me opportunities to earn money from their podcasts while also ensuring this is a really nice experience for you. This move will help support the podcast while still making it free for you, always. (So if you were wondering if this was going to a paywall/Patreon situation the answer is NEVER.) What it does mean is that you will start to hear promotions on the show. No sleazy ads. Nothing gross or tone deaf. Just me, reading sponsorship messages for products and services I genuinely like and trust. Behind the scenes, I want you to know I'll be saying NOPE to promo requests for anything and everything that is not congruent with our shared values. I'm doing this as a way to serve you better — to bring in new voices, create richer content, and stay sustainable. But this is new for me. I'm a little nervous about it. I hope it will be good for both of us, but as with all new things, you never really know what's going to happen until you do it. That's why we need to stay connected as we head into this new era together. Seriously. I'm going into this knowing that this isn’t just my podcast. It’s ours. Like any relationship, we need to communicate! Starting immediately (like, right now 👇) you will have access to me from every episode, to let me know how this is going for you, and what I can do to be an even better growth partner for you. Look for the “Let’s Talk” link in the show notes of every episode. Please use it — to share thoughts, give feedback, share ideas, ask questions, or just say hi. Thank you for being part of this journey. Here’s to the next beautiful chapter. Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: What do you think about all this? Let's talk!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you're prepping for an important work meeting, juggling a million to-dos and chores, and trying to get the kids out the door with lunches packed and shoes on the right feet? Yeah… same. We often associate burnout with our jobs, but the reality is that we can get burned out on LIFE. Hey. It's a lot. Just being a reasonably functional adult can feel like one big game of Whac-a-Mole leaving us further drained each day, with no end in sight. In this episode, I’m sitting down with Sarah Armstrong — author of The Art of the Juggling Act — to talk about what’s really going on with life related burnout, and how you can create realistic, sustainable strategies to manage it all without losing your mind, your health, or your joy. We’re diving deep into personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and super-practical ideas to help you break the cycle of exhaustion and start thriving — not just surviving. So grab that cup of lukewarm coffee you forgot you made, and let’s dig in. Timestamps: 00:00 – Understanding Life Burnout 01:13 – Introducing Sarah Armstrong and Her Mission 02:01 – Personal Struggles and Validation 02:54 – The Juggling Act of Parenting and Career 11:21 – Setting Boundaries and Protecting Time 22:43 – The Importance of Self-Care and Recharging 27:29 – Exploring the Meta Message 27:52 – Balancing Ambition and Ability 28:35 – Personal Choices and Career Decisions 31:57 – Volunteering and School Involvement 37:32 – Defining Real Mom If you’re nodding your head, wiping a tear, or mentally reviewing your massive to-do list right now—here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to figure this all out on your own. My Clarity and Confidence Coaching is designed to help amazing humans like you create sustainable change. If you’re feeling burned out, exhausted, and stretched to your limit, this is your sign to get support. Our next cohort is starting very soon and space is limited. You’ll work with a therapist trained in evidence-based coaching psychology who gets the struggle of where you are and who can help you make real changes that stick. 👉 Reserve your spot now at GrowingSelf.com/clarity. We’d love to help you get to thriving again. And if this episode spoke to your heart, let’s keep the conversation going. Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. I share a ton of resources, in-depth interviews with experts, and evidence-based strategies to help you create a life you love—even in the chaos. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who’s stuck in the burnout blender? Send them this article. Share the wisdom. Be the friend who says, “Hey, you need to read this.” They’ll thank you later.  

Have you ever been in the middle of a therapy session and found yourself silently (or loudly 😂) begging for advice from your therapist? You lay it all out — the overthinking, the relationship questions, the confusion… and they smile gently and say, “Hmm... what do you think you should do?” 😵‍💫 This is an all too common occurrence that can result in confusing, frustrating, and disappointing experiences with therapy. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, we’re going to talk about why your therapist won’t give you advice, what therapists can help you with, and what kind of support will give you the guidance you’re looking for. Traditional therapy isn’t designed to tell you what to do or how to do it, and if you’re someone who wants clarity, structure, and movement forward… it might be time for a different kind of support. If you’re in therapy and wondering why you still feel stuck, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.  Timestamps 00:00 – Why therapists don’t give advice (and why that’s intentional) 05:21 – Understanding different types of therapy 15:19 – What coaches do differently (and why it works) 21:52 – How to know what kind of support you need 24:05 – When therapy helps… and when it doesn’t 25:49 – Coaching vs. therapy: what’s right for your goals? 29:44 – Watch out: unqualified “coaches” are everywhere 33:34 – The honest truth about what will actually help you 34:21 – Finding clarity, confidence, and direction 36:38 – Questions to ask before hiring a therapist or coach 45:02 – Feeling stuck in therapy? Say this to your therapist 48:05 – It’s not you, you just need the right support If you’ve been nodding along while listening to this and thinking, "YES. I need a plan. I need movement. I need someone who gets it", I created Clarity and Confidence Coaching just for you. To meet you where you are right now, help you find clarity for your path forward, and to guide you step-by-step through transformation.  Right now, you can work with a brilliant therapist trained in coaching psychology for a fraction of what coaching usually costs. You’ll get expert support and a solid framework to actually create meaningful change in your life. And these spots go fast. 👉 Come visit growingself.com/clarity and snag your spot before the cohort fills up. And hey, if this conversation resonated with you? Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. I share interviews with experts, evidence-based tools that actually work, and lots of free resources to help you create love, happiness and success in your life. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. Know someone who’s been stuck in therapy wondering where the heck to go from here? Share this episode with them and support them on their journey.

You might look like you’ve got it all together. You show up. You work hard. You smile, you joke, you say you’re “fine.” But inside? You might be carrying more than anyone knows.  This is especially true for men. You’d never guess it by looking at them, but so many—maybe even someone you love—are silently carrying a weight that feels too heavy to bear. They’re suffering in silence, quietly fighting battles they don’t feel safe talking about. Not because they’re weak—but because the world taught them that real strength means not showing emotion, not needing help, not breaking down.  In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m joined by Steve Kramer—host of the Certified Mama’s Boy Podcast and the Kramer & Jess Morning Show—for a very important  conversation about the epidemic of men suffering in silence. Steve opens up about the private pain he hid behind a public smile, how disconnection and emotional isolation nearly overwhelmed him, and what helped him begin to heal. We’re shedding light on the emotional experiences so many men keep hidden—because they’ve never been taught how to talk about them, or even how to recognize what they’re feeling. We’ll talk about the real risks of going it alone, the quiet ways people often show they’re not okay even when they say they are, and how men can get the support they need. If you or someone you care about has ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you’re barely holding it together behind the scenes, this conversation is for you. Timestamps: 00:00 – When Life Feels Too Heavy: Steve’s Breaking Point 01:46 – Why Are So Many Men Suffering in Silence? 03:34 – Public Smiles, Private Struggles: The Pressure to Perform 04:21 – When It’s All Too Much 08:17 – The Call That Changed Everything 15:39 – Check On Your “Happy” Friends 23:35 – How to Tell When It’s More Serious Than They’re Saying 35:39 – Loneliness vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference 37:23 – Making Friends as an Adult Is Hard—But Necessary 38:53 – Why Men Struggle With Emotional Intimacy 48:06 – What Emotional Intelligence Really Means (and How to Build It) 55:58 – The Personal Work That Keeps Steve Grounded Today 01:00:35 – How to Support a Loved One Who’s Struggling 01:05:50 – Steve’s New Definition of Happiness If this hit close to home, it’s time to take a breath and check in—with yourself, or maybe with a man you care about. Struggles that stay hidden don't just go away—they weigh you down over time, and it can start to take a toll on your health, your relationships, your life. You don’t have to figure it out all on your own. There is space for you to be honest. To get support. To be human. There is help that meets you where you are. If you’re ready to find your way again, come check out my Clarity and Confidence Coaching. You’ll learn how to reconnect with yourself, get unstuck, and create real momentum in your life. Plus, you’ll pay just a fraction of the cost of other coaches. It’s truly such an amazing value.  👉 Get on the list to join. Together, we’ll help you build a life that feels more connected, meaningful, and joyful. I hope you check it out! Also, I’d love to stay connected! Follow me on Instagram and YouTube for more insight, encouragement, and authentic conversations that support your growth. I’d love to connect with you there. 💛 Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobbywww.growingself.com P.S. If you know a man in your life that could use some support, send this podcast over to them. It could be exactly what they need to take the first step to get support.