Andy and Philip celebrate spooky season by gossiping about how hot (or not) the segments in the V/H/S franchise are. In the spirit of Halloween, let’s close some caskets, label some J. Doe’s, and slide into those top drawers.
We’ve been hooked by another installment in the IKWYDLS franchise. So, it’s time to reel in the corpses and rank them with our updated list of the hottest (and not-est) victims of the newest film, I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025).
While we may not have been around much lately, we’ve still been creeping up on all the new releases. So, join us as we chat about all the horror movies from the first part of the year.
Andy and Philip are creeping back to celebrate a long-delayed Shark Week! In the spirit of the season, we’re heading into some “universal” waters to bump fins with a trio of Polonia monster sharks: Sharkenstein (2016), Sharkula (2022), and Mummy Shark (2024).
Andy and Philip bring Pride Month to a close by rolling on some protection and going down on a delightful, charming, and progressive gay love story set against the back drop of an outbreak of hungry condoms in New York City. So, put on your harnesses, choose your hanky, and check your rubber for teeth as we get it on with Killer Condom (1996).
Pride is here! So, let’s all don our leather vests and/or sequined gowns (or plaid on plaid on plaid), and head to the local bar to mingle with some fierce queens, baby gays, and questionable allies as we fight back against all the blood-sucking haters (and also the literal vampires) as we chat about the Tubi original Slay (2024).
Happy Friday the 13th and Jason Voorhees’ birthday! To celebrate the holiday, Andy and Philip are finally presenting our live show at Crypticon from Friday September 13th, 2024. But first, we plan our own porn adaptations and follow up about couple’s costume ideas.
We’re back and ready to talk about how hot all the victims are in Final Destination: Bloodlines, and then finally rank the top 10 of the series. So buckle up (but don’t get on a highway) and join us for the ride (but don’t get on a plane…or a roller coaster…or go in a tall building…you know what, just stay home and hide all sharp objects).
It’s that time of the year for Andy and Philip to pause and reflect on the year in horror so far: What has it accomplished? Which goals has it met? Where areas does it feel it could improve? So, join us as we give horror it’s much needed review and close out our seventh season.
Andy and Philip end this year’s couple’s counseling by trying to help a couple whose primary hurdle is the potential downfall of civilization at the hands of green-eyed capitalists and green-faced fascists. Billy and Kate are just doing their best trying to make it in the big city with their dead-end jobs, toxic bosses, and slimy creatures hell-bent on creating chaos (also, gremlins). So, let’s see if we can help them get through these rough, monster-infested times with Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990).
This week in couple’s counseling, Andy and Philip travel across the pond to help a couple (or throuple?) who may have too many skeletons (and ghosts) in the closet to be fixed. We’re talking incest, codependency, daddy issues and how some of us should really just listen to our mothers more when we fail to beware Crimson Peak (2015).
Last session, our counseling got a little rage-y with The Brood, so this time Philip and Andy are lightening it up by accompanying two comedy legend lovebirds on a trip to an old dark house for a spooky wedding weekend of murder, werewolves, and musical numbers with Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner in the frighteningly under-appreciated horror comedy Haunted Honeymoon (1986).
It’s time once again for Philip and Andy to reopen their Horror Couples Counseling practice, and this year we’re starting by acknowledging that relationships are informed by both nature and nurture and you don’t need to gestate rage babies to find out that some are just not built to last (and that some therapists can be the opposite of helpful…not us, of course). So, let’s talk through some generational trauma, weaponized therapy-speak, and good old fashioned body horror to get to the heart of the problems between Frank and Nola in David Cronenberg’s divorce song, The Brood (1979).
2024 was a packed year filled with infections, infestations, mutations, mutilations, slashers, sharks, aliens, werewolves, vampires, drag queens (battling vampires), prequels and sequels that were actually good, and not one but two mysteriously pregnant nun movies. It truly was a great year…for horror. So, Andy and Philip have their work cut out for them sorting through this treasure trove and finding the best of the best (and, of course, killing the few bad apples), but no matter what, we are definitely not spitting this time.
As you look over your X-mas haul today, take a moment with us to focus on those horror movies who might not be getting the love they deserve. In the spirit of the holiday, Andy and Philip want to unwrap some very strange and interesting presents: the low-budget Christmas slashers Christmassacre - AKA Secret Santa (2015) and Nutcracker Massacre (2022).
Art is back for the holidays and he’s brought us a whole new portfolio of work to critique. So, put on your Santa suit and grab an axe, chainsaw, or maybe a tube and some rats to help us examine the messy tableau that is Terrifier 3.
Sometimes families of choice are just as challenging as families of origin…especially if said family involves a bossy vampire, a flatulent frankenstein, a gay werewolf, a problematically sexual hunchback, and a mummy with an abusive parasite. So, Andy and Philip are closing their 2024 family therapy sessions with a unique chosen family of monsters in the regional, low budget horror comedy Franky and His Pals (1991).
This American Colonial Genocide and Overconsumption Holiday, it's important to acknowledge that many people don't have family to spend it with. And some of those people also have to battle mish-mash undead child folk monsters and giant poodles to survive the season. Join Andy and Philip as we take a look at the tradition of Friendsgiving and the nowhere-to-be-no-one-to-be-with folks who find themselves together trying not to become the feast in the 1991 horror-comedy The Boneyard.
Bonjour, et bienvenue à Paris! Andy and Philip have travelled across the pond to provide family therapy to a father and daughter (and a secretary with boundary issues) who have often-conflicting struggles. He’s neglecting her needs while trying to perfect his surgical skills. She’s coming of age and wants to find her place in the world. Also, she doesn’t have a face, which becomes a point of concern in the French classic: Eyes Without a Face (1960).
The horrifying non-spooky holidays are fast approaching which means Philip and Andy are once again taking a look at some horror families in need of help. We're kicking off this especially awful November with the legendary Wes Craven's fittingly prescient tale of toxic gender roles, is-it-or-isn't-it incest, and community-versus-capitalism: The People Under the Stairs (1991)