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Long Walks and Robots
Ryan Lance and Shane Black
52 episodes
9 months ago
Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots...The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him. Right. Wait, what?Moving on. The bots also talk TV. I remember seeing TV capitalized a...
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All content for Long Walks and Robots is the property of Ryan Lance and Shane Black and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots...The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him. Right. Wait, what?Moving on. The bots also talk TV. I remember seeing TV capitalized a...
Show more...
Film Reviews
Comedy,
TV & Film,
News,
Entertainment News
Episodes (20/52)
Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.50 - I See You Elise Neal... I See You.
Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots...The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him. Right. Wait, what?Moving on. The bots also talk TV. I remember seeing TV capitalized a...
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4 years ago
2 hours 22 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.49 - Billy Jack aka The Last Recommendation
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...Ahh Mr. Black, you fail to disappoint once again. The bots get all oily in the lug nuts over the lost Lethal Weapon storyline known as "The Last Boyscout." Yippee ki..... what's that? Oh! That's not the movie? Wait... really? Ok, if you say so. Well, not to be outdone by the bullets, tits, and guns; Gandolfini and Redford bring the heavy in the military prison drama, "The Last Castle." When the warden's away,...
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4 years ago
1 hour 44 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.48 - It's Like Rolling Your Ankle, But In Your Butt.
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Maniac! The bots get uncomfortable watching a dark slasher through the enormous eyes of everyone's favorite hobbit, Elijah Wood. Then Ryan and Shane transition to the lighter side of stalking via Chevy Chase and Christie Brinkley on the road to Walley World. We takin a Vacation y'all! And yeah, that's how you spell Walley World. I googled it. So there.What if... this show didn't exist? New Marvel you fickle mistres...
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4 years ago
1 hour 35 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.47 - Warning! Do Not Molest Me!
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...Nicolas Cage!! That's right, the prodigal bot has returned to intrigue and delight us once again. "Pig" becomes the next entry in an ever-engaging library of films in a kaleidoscopic career. Speaking of bots, Peter Sarsgaard voices a delightful one opposite Frank Langella in "Robot & Frank." Apparently, Susan Sarandon makes a wife so nice you'll try to marry her twice.What if... Marvel, Rick, or Morty aren't good anymore?? ...
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4 years ago
1 hour 26 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.46 - Captain Fantastic and The Suicide Squad
This week on Long Walks and Robots…The would be greatest comic book title of all time is actually the names of this week’s movies. A true divide of the cinematic spectrum; from blockbuster event to an indie darling. The Suicide Squad is dripping with style and James Gunn-ie goodness. While Captain Fantastic leans more to the existential exploration of right and wrong, steeped in grief, and sprinkled with jokes. I sense some ironic parallels. Who knew?!Later the bots delve i...
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4 years ago
1 hour 27 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.45 - I'm Saying You Have Great Tits You Idiot!
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Turns out the bots wanted to jam, so they went and slammed. That's right, Space Jammed! Ryan and Shane visit memory lane as they revisit the original Space Jam on their way to "a new legacy." After the 2 hour Warner Bros. propaganda film, the boys stayed glued to that HBO Max for the recently uncancelled, The Hunt. Man, that Betty Gilpin sure is a really good actress. Since our robots had a brief hiatus, there was a double dos...
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4 years ago
1 hour 56 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.44 - Who is Jeffrey Boam?
This week on Long Walks and Robots...On their way back to the present our Robots made a little pit stop in the birthplace of modern-day action, the 80's. Ryan and not that Shane Black gush over the golden age of that Shane Black. They break down not just one Lethal Weapon, but two! Well, Lethal Weapon 2. Although they do talk about the first Lethal Weapon, so 2 and two I guess. Yeah... I don't know! I'm gettin too old for this podcast. As if that wasn...
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4 years ago
1 hour 57 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.43- Marvelous
This week on Long Walks and Robots...It's a Marvel packed episode. We delve deep into what, why and how Black Widow should matter to anyone at this point. Also we are pretty sure Task Master is a man, even though he is a she? Floating bases in the sky and all the other nonsense packed in. Plus Shane tells us about how he is colorblind and had a job where he needed to color correct. Makes sense right? Later we chat the penultimate episode of Loki and wonder why Marvel loves having their c...
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4 years ago
1 hour 26 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.42 - I Would F#!@k Me and Be My Best Friend aka Gems and Parallels
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Time travel? Really? Again??? Why yes!! Tired of preparing for the future? Ready to jump headfirst into an insurmountable task with zero knowledge of the challenges or pitfalls? Then Uncle Sam's great-great-grandson could use your help, in the Tomorrow War. Pushing past those pesky paradoxes, the boys roll up their sleeves for some good ol' fasioned slobber knockin'. The bots marvel at the fun times provided by a ...
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4 years ago
1 hour 30 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.41 - Silhouette of Boobs
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Lightning strikes as Ryan finally bestowed a true visual gift unto Shane by way of Bad Trip. Unfortunately, the moment is soured by the lament of Michael Bay's latest pyrotechnic plot device, 6 Underground. What lacks in its narrative substance is almost saved by, adrenochrome dream, Ryan Reynolds in a true to stereotype performance.Moving on to their glorious purpose, the boys dig into episode 3 of Loki. Surprise surprise, Ryan didn't lo...
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4 years ago
1 hour 33 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.40 - That Can't Be the Title of Your Episode
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Theoretical physics, no script, no problem! Ryan finds "the fun of movie" in Coherence. Big fan of one location for all your movies? Great!! The second film of this week won't miss the mark, well, they do, but the parallel doesn't... Free Fire. That's the second movie. Moving on. Time is moving quickly, can you believe it's already the second episode of Loki?? Even more unbelievable, the boys have differing opinio...
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4 years ago
1 hour 19 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.39 - Boys in the Horses
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...The boys saddle up and head for the inner-city to become a Concrete Cowboy. Regretful of the journey into mediocre adolescent angst, the Robots yearn for a way to undo the past... wait, what's this lever do? Saved by The Time Machine, they travel back to the past via the future of film past or.... you get it. It's time travel. Did someone say time travel? A happy thematic coincidence has crossed time steams with the long-await...
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4 years ago
1 hour 29 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.38 - Dipshit
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...The boys get the best of both worlds, brains, and brawn! They break down the fantastical 80's Val Kilmer classic, Real Genius. Arnold who? Matilda Lutz says hold my White Claw, as she becomes the nouveau killing machine seeking revenge... in Revenge. If you think Val's lack of sideburns is creepy, you should meet the cool guys in Morroco. Also, in the final week before we get that sweet sweet Marvel skeet, our little robo...
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4 years ago
1 hour 30 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.37 - Infinite Hand Mirror of Buttholes
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Look! Up in the sky? It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a big gorilla wolf muthaf#&@a!? The boys watch unsupervised teens shank alien wolf spores in Attack the Block! Also, what would How Stella Got Her Groove Back be like with karate? According to Ryan, it's the movie The Paper Tigers. The bots get a dose of 90's era martial arts wrapped in a 2020 package.With two weeks left until our boys are able to suckle at Marvel's teat...
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4 years ago
1 hour 33 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.36 - Young Middle-Aged Adults
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Shane tries to find the heart missing from modern-day cinema by contracting Tin Cup. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be music to Ryan's ears. Also, the movie thread conspiracy grows with the reveal of another appearance of Hiroyuki Sanada. The boys look to see if Snyder can resurrect his relevance with his Army of the Dead. If you liked this version, just wait till they release the D'Elia Cut. As the boys continue to N...
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4 years ago
1 hour 34 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.35 - I Would Have Sold My Childhood for $600
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Have no fear! The white savior is here! That's right, the boys breakdown Hardball, the classic Keanu Reeves vehicle. On their way back from memory lane, they also take a pit stop in 2010 to visit the A-Team. Bradley Cooper and apex Liam Neeson show how to deliver a classic blockbuster throwback. Then the Robots pop some pills and end up back in the future to experience Synchronic, starring the new cap himself Anthony Mackie.R...
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4 years ago
1 hour 22 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.34 - The Three Titted Lady
This week on Long Walks and Robots...If you thought the updates to Call of Duty were lackluster, you should see Without Remorse. Lucky for the boys, they also got to revisit the Michael Jai White passion project Black Dynamite. When ya pop the top, the panties drop!While the boys wait for the Outlaw Johhny Black to finally premiere, they see if Jupiter is worth a legacy. If the pilot is any indication, it ain't. They also offer a few new and reiterated binge recommenda...
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4 years ago
1 hour 28 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.33 - Trolls Can Smell The Jesus On You
This week on Long Walks and Robots...Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the Christian on a cameraman. The boys watch the Norwegian found footage film, Troll Hunter. They also pay homage to the late great Bob Hoskins on the anniversary of his passing with the cinematic martial arts of Unleashed. Sweet, sweet is good!With the airing of the last episode of Invincible, the Robots are now fresh out of shows. However, have no fear, cause they've got some fun recommendations to hold you...
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4 years ago
1 hour 14 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.32 - Who the f@#% is Cole Young?
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...MORTAL KOMBAT!!The boys revisit the 90's iterations of Mortal Kombat as well as the 2021 reboot of the franchise. While the new MK model displays flawless effects of modern-day cinema, does it lack a certain charm held by the old guard? I mean, they're definitely missing one thing, Talisa Soto. Shane, we get it, she's hot. Shane and Ryan also lay weary in the wake of Falcon and the Winter Soldier's finale. A lackluster wrap-up ...
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4 years ago
1 hour 39 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Long Walks and Robots Ep.31 - All Stubs and Tits
This Week on Long Walks and Robots...It appears as though Ryan's dementia is steadily progressing. Between his strokes and Shane's burps, the show is devolving quickly. Good thing you don't need many dendrites to tell dick and fart jokes. As for the movies, we travel back to feudal Japan for some cool hair cuts, tons of exposition, and of course blood and guts with "13 Assassins." We also finish paying our respects to the late great DMX by discussing the big-budget blo...
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4 years ago
1 hour 27 minutes

Long Walks and Robots
Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots...The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him. Right. Wait, what?Moving on. The bots also talk TV. I remember seeing TV capitalized a...