Reading his great-grandfather's memoir, Joe Dunthorne discovers a disturbing confession

In her early twenties Carol Cairns, the daughter of a priest in Ireland, had a passionate affair with a young bohemian poet called Benedict Ryan. In the Dublin of the 1960s, their improbable partnership burned bright but briefly. Somehow the gap in their backgrounds was too great. Not long after, life took her in a completely different direction. Shortly after her 70th birthday, while thinking of names for a grandson to be, she remembered Benedict. Where was he now? After a failed marriage, she used Skype to see if the flame still burned.

Carol tells Dr Sian Williams about the emotional moment they reunited, after almost half a century.

Producer; Tom Alban

Phillip Browne was born into a large and loving Windrush generation family in Birmingham. Church and singing were an important part of his upbringing, and when he struggled at school it was singing that gave him an escape and a status. But just as he was beginning to show signs of real potential, a devastating ear infection robbed him of his hearing completely in one ear - and Phillip was told by a doctor that a singing career was out of the question. Phillip's struggle in the aftermath of his illness and his need to find a job resulted in him becoming a London bus driver. He knew the security of employment was a relief to his father who had spent a lifetime working on the railways, but it seemed to be leading him further and further away from his dream. Until a chance meeting with an old college friend turned his life in an extraordinary new direction.

Phillip tells Dr Sian Williams about that Life Changing moment - and his incredible journey to the bright lights of the West End stage.

Producer: Tom Alban

Robin Elsey Webb is a young and already very successful yachtsman with a dream of tackling the famous Vendee Globe, the single-handed round the world yacht race. But his plans were shattered during a trip to Antigua, when he was violently attacked and suffered severe head injuries. With his life hanging in the balance, it fell to his partner Liz to make swift and bold decisions about his treatment. Robin's job was to try and stay alive.

Robin and Liz join Dr Sian Williams to piece together their own very different experiences of that terrifying ordeal, which changed so many things for both of them.

Producer: Tom Alban

As a bright adventurous 16 year-old, Angela Tilley was thrilled to get a job in a busy London office. But after a year's unwanted attention from one of her co-workers, attention that today we would call stalking, she started having panic attacks on the way to work. The attacks became a debilitating daily occurrence, leaving her mentally and physically exhausted. Her courage in pushing back against her fears, forging a career and having a family came at a huge personal cost. But one seemingly innocuous purchase was about to change her life forever.

Angela tells Dr Sian Williams about how she overcame her challenges and how she managed to stop her phobia defining her life. Producer: Tom Alban

Husband and father, Larry O’Brien, loved the freedom his job as a long-distance lorry driver gave him. But on March 6th 1987, that freedom was almost lost in the horror of the Zeebrugge ferry disaster, in which almost 200 people lost their lives. Larry – who could not swim – risked his own life to pull 30 people to safety. Almost 40 years later, Larry tells Dr Sian Williams why he never felt like a hero, how he came to terms with what happened, and why – after a career change into local politics – he decided to return to the road. Producer: Tom Alban

When 18-year-old Stacey Goodwin got a job at a bookies, she put a pound coin into a slot machine and won enough money for a night out with her pals. It was the trigger for a destructive gambling addiction that led to a life of shame, brutal isolation and deceit. The money she lost over an eight-year period was eye-watering – on one occasion, frittering away a £50,000 online win in a matter of days. Sometimes suicidal, and always lonely, it was the damage she did to those closest to her which hurt the most.

When her addiction saw her undermine the financial security of someone she loved, she reached a crossroads. Stacey tells Dr Sian Williams how she found the strength to ask for help - and turned her life around.

Producer: Tom Alban

Warning: This episode contains discussions around suicide. Details of help and support are available through the BBC Action Line at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

In 1977, Ed Stewart was a happy-go-lucky teenager with his whole life ahead of him. With a new engineering job, a girlfriend and a motorbike, life was good. But when he dropped in on a friend’s party, a violent row with another teenager - who was carrying a shotgun - turned Ed’s whole life on its head.

Ed had to learn to navigate the world in an entirely different way, but he made a success of it - becoming a piano tuner to the stars and counting Jools Holland and Brian Ferry as his customers. Despite a life of adversity, he tells Dr Sian Williams how not just one, but two Life Changing moments led him to be what he refers to as a “glass-three-quarters-full” kind of bloke.

Producer: Tom Alban

For Lisa Hover and her husband Andy, life on the Hampshire Dorset border with their family of four children seemed idyllic. Even when a routine sight test on their daughter Annabelle as she started Primary school picked up an abnormality it all seemed manageable. But the abnormality turned out to be macular degeneration and early sight loss, which itself masked a more severe and life shortening genetic condition. The diagnosis of Batten disease changed everything. And yet, with no cure available, and physical and mental decline forecast, Annabelle lead the family in demanding everything from her limited life span. That included setting up a charity, Batten fighters forever or BFF ( battenfightersforever.com ), continuing her Girl Guiding and going skiing. Lisa talks to Sian about the challenges, the joys and the sadness - and particularly about Annabelle's desire to have a White Christmas will all the family.

Producer; Tom Alban

As a young man Mohammed, or MFA Zaman arrived in Britain from Bangladesh with a working visa, a patron and a job lined up as a chef. On arrival all the promises of a bright future turned to ashes. His patron confiscated his documents and put him to work. It was a punishing schedule. He then discovered that his boss had tried and failed to get him a Visa extension, meaning that he was working illegally.

But at this lowest of low ebbs in his life, Mohammed decided that he needed to do something - and that something was to volunteer at an old people's community club in Lewisham, near where he was living. For three hours a week every Tuesday, he helped serve the elderly visitors. He talked to them, befriended many of them and they, in turn, started to show him that London wasn't all bad. It was a Life Changing decision and it would lead eventually to him being a volunteer at the London Olympics and a representative of London at the Paris Olympics. But clearing his name and proving to the authorities that he had done nothing wrong and was the victim of modern day slavery was a massive challenge.

Producer: Tom Alban

After a whirlwind romance, Paul Mason and his wife Isabel were in no doubt that they wanted to start a family. It was not easy, but eventually that ordinary miracle happened. And yet it was a little more than ordinary - because they discovered they were to be parents to triplets.

Paul tells Dr Sian Williams about the joyful and harrowing life-changing events of his children’s birth, and explains how the family have since discovered the extraordinary generosity of strangers.

Producer: Tom Alban

Mother-of-two young children, Tanja Bage, had always been a keen singer and performer, so she was increasingly aware of her shortness of breath. The diagnosis was cancer, which required almost immediate surgery to remove the tumour, and with it her vocal chords. She would be losing her voice, and she had just a week to prepare herself and her family.

Tanja tells Dr Sian Williams about navigating the challenges of motherhood whilst having to re-learn how to speak – and reveals an exciting new artistic venture which has changed her life.

Producer: Tom Alban

After moving to Los Angeles, 12-year-old Dan Edozie and his mother were left homeless and begging for food. Life was not easy: they slept where they could, sometimes on public transport, sometimes in the refuges of the city’s infamous Skid Row. But a chance separation from his mother was about to change his fortunes forever.

Dan tells Dr Sian Williams how this life-changing moment allowed him to take control of his own destiny and set his sights on sporting greatness.

Producer: Elaina Boeteng

Sarah Fairbairns spent much of her life feeling she was a bit different. Growing up in the 1960s and 70s, she gained the reputation of a wild child – from travelling to India, to dancing on stage with the cast of iconic counter-culture musical Hair. And yet all the while, she faced bouts of sadness and depression, and a confusion as to why that should be. Later in life, Sarah made a discovery about a medical childhood trauma that changed the way she viewed the world – and wrote in to Life Changing to share her experience.

Now in her seventies, Sarah speaks to Dr Sian Williams about how confronting her past has provided belated but extraordinary relief.

Producer: Tom Alban

In 2013 Nick Hitch found himself at the heart of a violent attack on a Gas facility in Eastern Algeria. It was later revealed that the militiamen were affiliated to Al-Qaeda. As a senior project manager Nick was deliberately targeted, threatened with execution, forced along with his colleagues to sit for hours in fear of detonating explosives to which they had been attached, and ultimately packed into a vehicle alongside a man with a crude suicide bomb on his knee. Thirty-nine foreign workers died during the attack, several of them Nick's close colleagues. Talking to Dr Sian Williams, he describes how the attack unfolded, how the challenges affected and continue to affect him, and how he has sought to put his horrific experience at the service of others who have faced similar trauma.

Producer: Tom Alban

Anyone affected by any of the issues described in this programme can find help and support at www.hostageinternational.org

Dr Sian Williams looks forward to another series of extraordinary stories.

In 2021, twins Georgia and Melissa Laurie set off on an adventure to Mexico for some sisterly bonding. Whilst on their travels they stopped at the coastal town of Puerto Escondido where they planned to visit a nearby lagoon and experience the bioluminescent waters. The day was hot so the sisters went for a swim but soon found themselves in a terrifying fight for survival; in that moment, and the years that followed, their love for each other kept them alive.

Georgia has since been recognised for her bravery that day and is the recipient of the King's Gallantry Medal 2024.

Tony Redmond is a Life Changing listener and an experienced medical doctor used to dealing with challenging situations. In December 1988 he attended two major global disasters that left him feeling a broken man, ready to hang up his stethoscope. But it turned out he wasn’t quite done yet.

Tier Blundell was never a bad kid, he was bright and curious but also disruptive. He grew up sandwiched between two cultures and felt excluded from society. Those feelings were amplified when aged 11 Tier was informed by his school that he wouldn’t be welcome back following the summer holidays and was instead sent to a Pupil Referral Unit. He left there with no qualifications and a sense of shame, until the day he puts on a suit, turns up for an unscheduled meeting and demands another go at education — and the results are staggering.

Su Chantry was adopted as a baby and grew up fantasising that she was the daughter of a French princess who would one day return for her. As an adult with her own family, Su received an unexpected and life-changing phone call.

Su tells Dr Sian Williams how she rushed to meet her mother, and they would spend just one day together – her mum’s last.