In the previous episode we talked about how to prepare for difficult conversations, today the topic is how to manage a difficult conversations while you are in the midst of it, to ensure that the outcome is optimal.

We looked at the six steps to take to prepare for the conversation, they included among others, to have a clear goal, to check your assumptions, and to try to understand and anticipate the other party’s goals and needs.

Let’s imagine that you are now having that so called difficult conversation. Perhaps you are connected virtually by video conference. How do you start? First focus on creating trust

1. Have a positive mindset  - assume the positive
2. Communicate empathy and a will to collaborate and understand – avoid judgmental statements
3. Communicate the topic / purpose clearly
4. Give the other person room to clarify the purpose and their perspective
5. Manage your emotions
6. Listen for facts, feelings and values/ needs communicated
7. Don’t overwhelm them with detail and arguments
8. Look for commonalities – find an alignment