My mother sent me off with the following advise as I left Finland at the end of our amazing Holiday to my hometown, and the five-days spent in the polar night in the Finnish arctic - know what flames to keep burning in your life, and which ones to let die, or to put out. As I returned to my home in New Jersey, USA and was sorting through the mail that had piled up I found the latest book box from the book club #thenextbigideaclub. I opened the box and the first book I see is #Quit -The power of knowing when to walk away by Annie Duke.
This episode is about how to decide what flames to keep burning, and which one to let die. I share briefly what I have learned so far from Annie Duke's book and how we can adapt the lessons she shares to our own lives to create space and energy for something new, something better, something more meaningful.
#creativity #entrepreneurs #innovation #business #scaleups #startups #lifecoaching #leadershipcoaching #businesscoaching #change #transformation #transitions #arts #finland #arctic #holidays #newbeginnings #newyear #holidaytravel #family #motherlywisdom #expatlife #immigrantlife
TRIGGER warning for the Holidays!
Do we need a trigger warning for the holidays? Today there are trigger warnings at the start of a movie, a book, a workshop, a class in school or college, just to mention a few situations.
We have become very tuned in to triggers.
What is a trigger?
It is an emotional reaction to an internal or external trigger/event. An example of an internal one is the elevated heart rate when we exercise which can remind us of a time when we had to run from a dangerous situation, and result in an panic attack. An example of an external trigger is a movie, an argument, a relationship, a performance management conversation. The Holidays.
This podcast is about understanding triggers and how they impact our lives, both at work and privately.
The Holidays are shrouded in feelings and expectations, both positive and negative. The beautiful has a dark side. Remember that as you celebrate the Holidays. What are your triggers? What are their triggers? What can you do to cope with a stressful situation? Since we cannot (and sometimes should not) always avoid a "triggering" situation, mentally preparing for it is helpful. Make a plan and practice stress relief, such as deep breathing, going for a walk, meditation, writing, or talk to a trusted person.
While the emotional reaction that a situation triggers often is difficult and stressful, it can also be an opportunity to resolve an old trauma we have been carrying with us. To heal a relationship with a person, a context, a Holiday. Sometimes we need help from a friend, or a mental health professional to heal that trauma.
Your well-being matters. Crises Hotline: #211 https://www.211.org/get-help/mental-health
#mentalhealth #opportunity #wellbeingatwork #wellbeing #mentalhealth #mentalhealthatwork #holidayblues #holidaystress #happyholidays2022 #triggers #triggerpoint #triggered #triggerwarning #copingskills #copingstrategies #wellness
#stressrelief #stress #trauma #traumainformed #traumaawareness #coaching #podcast #podcastlife
THANK YOU!
Thank you for the more than 1500 downloads / listens to my podcast.
The podcast was dormant for eight months, and still you listened to me. The December Coaching Calendar podcast-series is still going on.
Todays' episode is about success - and jealousy.
Why do we feel jealous of others', sometimes even of people who are dear to us?
Is it FOMO - the fear of missing out?
Ask yourself what it is that makes you feel jealous.
Often it is rooted in an unfulfilled need, a low self esteem.
Jealousy can alert us to that something is missing in our life. Perhaps we are not aligned with our values? Perhaps we need to do a course correction, sharpen our focus and live with purpose and meaning?
You can turn the negative feeling of jealousy into a positive motivator that energizes you to live your best life.
#success #jealousy #FOMO #selfesteeem #gratitude #lifecoaching #personalleadership #purpose #motivation #career #careermotivation #leadership #coaching
What we can learn from Swedish Fika and the Nordic Lucia tradition on how to create a happier, more engaged, and healthier workplace.
Lucia brings light, love and hope in the darkest time of the year in the high north. She is highly anticipated and Lucia-Day on 12/13 is a joyful celebration. That brings me to another Nordic tradition, the Swedish Fika. We Finns call it coffee-break. Just like Lucia brings light into darkness, a Fika break at work offers a brief relief from the worries of the day and can bring inspiration and joy to the team.
Fika as a concept has spread over the world lately thanks to brilliant marketing. It is a simple and brilliant custom. Most workplaces in my native Finland and neighbor Sweden take a Fika break daily in the afternoon. Often they gather in the coffee room, or break room at work.
It gives them a reason to step away from the desk, the workstation, and join others for some informal interactions. Enjoy a coffee, a snack, or stretch. Some workplaces have taken Fika to the next level, adding relaxing activities that create togetherness, such as a building a puzzle, play a board game, perhaps a creative project, or some stretching or yoga.
Taking breaks that refreshes our mind, offers social interaction, and moves our body are simple and low budget ways to create a healthy and engaged culture.
What can Fika look like at your workplace? How can you be the light that inspires? Perhaps you'll break for Fika once a week? Listen to my podcast for other ideas on how to create a Fika culture to your workplace.
#team #work #project #love #fika #Nordic #swedish #finnish #finnishworkculture #swedishfika #coffeebreak #Lucia #luciatradition #engagement #funatwork #teambuilding #healthworkplace #wellneingatwork #wellness #joyatwork
Boss Burnout
There is a lot of talk and writing about burnout at work and how we can prevent it from happening on an individual level, and how important the role of leadership and middle management is to create a healthy work culture, and to support their staff so they do not burnout.
Often the conversation starts from the perspective of the team, or team member. From their needs. And it is a very important perspective.
Being a burnout survivor myself, and having coached and trained both managers, leaders, and staff on how to avoid, recognize and recover from burnout, I do think that we often place a lot of pressure on the manager to support staff's well-being, but we forget the well-being of the manager. In particular those stuck in the middle between senior leadership and the teams. The ones that are tasked to turn the vision into action and result.
This is why today's episode is on Boss Burnout.
To create a culture where leaders and managers feel that they have the right to a healthy and balanced life, with time for rest, togetherness, learning, love, and career fulfillment - we need to change our thinking about what leadership is, what managers do and what a high performing business culture is.
Burnout is not an individual's problem. It is a cultural and structural problem. To eliminate today's burnout-culture we need a shift in values and priorities.
At work:
Talk about workload, and level of stress
Review your policies and values - where is the focus?
Hold leaders and managers accountable for the health and well-being in the organization
Empower your middle manager to dare to self-care
Ensure that they allow staff to care for their health and well-being also
Be a role model yourself
#wellbeingatwork #leadershipburnout #managementburnout #leadershipcoaching #managementcoaching #teamculture #health #highperformingteams #valuebasedleadership
How to build and keep boundaries is a common coaching topic. Often we explore how we can draw boundaries between work and home -how to set time boundaries. Or, we need relationship boundaries, between you and your leader, or between you, the middle manager, and your team. Or between friends and family members.
Boundaries can be beautiful. I call them beautiful when they serve a good purpose. The ugly ones seek to exclude for the wrong reasons (to prevent access, to information, and resources) or because of stereotypes and biases.
Beautiful boundaries are firm, but flexible. They are solid, but malleable. They have doors and windows that can be opened and closed, and locked, as needed.
Boundaries protects those on the inside from invasion from an outside force.
Boundaries also protects others from us, from our thoughtless or selfish intrusion.
Boundaries can liberate someone to fly while also and lock another one in to die. What purpose does your boundaries serve?
Beautiful boundaries are built from respect, empathy and understanding.
Is it time to evaluate yours?
This episode published on my birthday is a reflection on why we celebrate or acknowledge different life events, both the joyful and the sad. I also discuss why it is important that we celebrate success at work, acknowledge the effort made and those who contributed. It is also important to acknowledge the difficult and sad times at work. For example, the death of a team member. This can be a difficult situation, but the team needs the time and opportunity to grieve and share their feelings and memories. To help them move on. It can help to bring in a trained counselor to facilitate the process.
How do you celebrate your significant life moments and accomplishments? What has helped you grieve a loss of a loved person, or a job, or a dream?
Sisu is a Finnish word, or concept that means inner strength, grit, or determination. We often like to talk compare it to resiliency
How can we find and exercise our inner strength? Can we all have Sisu?
Indeed we can. This episode explores what Sisu is, and how you can develop your inner strength by intentionally taking small calculated risks, placing yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, or a bit scary. By taking chances, and learning from your errors. Over a period of time.
I share my experience from coaching those working in the humanitarian and international development space, and undergraduate students in a college leadership program, and how they develop inner strength.
Happy 105th Independence Day Finland!
What are the ingredients in your team soup? Leading a team is like cooking a soup. You need a base, or a broth, and different ingredients and flavors. How do you want your team soup to taste? What's the dominant flavor and the context?
Cook your soup from a base of psychological safety and you will have a team culture of care and inclusion. The diversity of flavors - ideas, skills, cultures, identities, talents, and personalities will give a team that is engaged, happy and high performing.
What soup are you making?
#team #diversity #safety #psychologicalsafety #teamdevelopment #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #cultureofcare #empathy #caringleadership #highperformingteams #creativeteam #inclusion #innovation
Using our past to help us shape our present and influence our future, that is today's topic. Our past does not have to be the burden that slows us down. We can own our past and learn from it, both the good and the bad. By identifying key events that influenced out path, and people who helped us or inspired us to select a certain path, or overcome an obstacle, we can find a deeper learning and strength from them. Sometimes we need help to process the difficult and painful though.
The history of countries, regions, and people shapes the present culture. Our experiences shape our behaviors, believes and values. On a personal, group, organizational, country, and global level.
Don't ignore your history. Use it to write your story.
Like so many others I am following the Football / Soccer World Championship. I have always enjoyed watching sports, event if I am not a competitive athlete myself. As a leadership coach I draw inspiration and learning from sports coaching and the athletes themselves. Their life stories, what motivates them to work so hard, who helped them and how character plays a role.
This episode draws its inspiration from two soccer team captains, a current and a retired one. Tyler Adams, the current US team captain, and Tim Sparv, the former captain of the Finnish national team who became famous not just as an excellent soccer player and captain, but as the captain who led a book club in his team and became a celebrated reading ambassador in Finland.
Who inspires you?
This is episode two in my December Coaching Calendar. This time I share what I've learned from my fearless son as he prepared to audition for a talent show, about taking risks, and not allowing one's own fears to hold others back. They are also common topics in my coaching practice. As leaders we must be brave and let go of our need to control and micro manage, to instead trust our people and allow them to take risks, to fail and grow. That is when innovation and creativity thrives.
Here is the link to the Finlandia Hymn I mention in podcast: https://youtu.be/Ns2A5yUMZhU
#leadership #work #success #talent #podcast #parenting #motivation #coaching #risktaking #courage #career #careertransition #leadershipcoaching #finland #finlandia #perfoming
This is the first of a series of December coaching gifts from me to you as we count down to the Holidays and the New Year. A few times a week I will give you a brief reflection on a topic that has touched me during the past year. The purpose is to inspire you to reflect upon your own life and career. To motivate you to pursue your dreams and accomplish your goals, in a broad spectrum of our life. From personal development and relationships, to career, leadership, and management. I the first episode I talk about creativity and how to add more creativity to our busy lives and how to change our habits and routines.
#coaching #creativity #podcast #leadership #inspiration #careercoaching #habits #wellness #lifecoaching #authenticity #habits #change
I was a recent immigrant and newly wed when the terror attack on September the 11th happened. We lived in Manhattan where both I and my husband worked. He was in finance and I at Columbia University. We had been married for a little over a year, I had lived in the US for three years. We had just returned from an extended work and holiday trip to London. I still remember vividly how I felt that weekend as we returned to NYC. I felt like I was starting to find my footing in my new country. NYC felt like home. I had reinvented my career and I was happy with my job at Columbia University. Life was pretty good.
The next morning that sense of safety and of being at peace was shattered.
I stepped out of the subway car at 116th Street Columbia University station when the first plane hit WTC. I know this because I checked the station clock, making sure I was not running late. I remember this because as I walked into my south facing office on the 14th floor I heard my office phone ring. I picked it up. My mother was on the line, calling from Finland and telling me she had heard on the news that a plane had hit WTC and was wondering if we were safe. I did not believe her. She insisted, so I turned around and opened the window shades. And I saw the huge plume of smoke from one of the towers down south on the horizon.
We all know what happened next.
The experience of living in Manhattan during these hours, days and months is hard to label. One word can not do it justice. I remember most vividly the initial feeling of despair, of feeling lost, of having an enormous need to do something, to help, but feeling helpless. But eventually we found our way, we who were stuck on the island that is the city that never sleeps. The city that now became eerily silent and empty. Once the thousands and thousands of commuters and city dwellers had found their way home. Mostly by foot, or driven by strangers who now became friends.
That, together with the silence, is the strongest memory I have. The one I will share with my grandchildren when I am an old lady. The togetherness. The humanity. The generosity. The love and the grief shared. The posters of missing persons filling the sidewalks normally crowded by people. The music in the parks. Spontaneous gatherings where we sang together accompanied by a guitar or two. Seeking solace. Together. Vowing to overcome and to be resilient. To rebuild and protect our city.
There is enormous power in the human spirit and in community. We say that we should never forget 9/11. True. What we chose to remember is what matters. Let’s remember the togetherness and friendship we shared with strangers in our neighborhood and across the world those days and months, and allow us to be inspired (for lack of a better word) as individuals, as leaders and as a community to live and lead with a purpose, for a greater good beyond our own selfish pursuits.
In the previous episode we talked about how to prepare for difficult conversations, today the topic is how to manage a difficult conversations while you are in the midst of it, to ensure that the outcome is optimal.
We looked at the six steps to take to prepare for the conversation, they included among others, to have a clear goal, to check your assumptions, and to try to understand and anticipate the other party’s goals and needs.
Let’s imagine that you are now having that so called difficult conversation. Perhaps you are connected virtually by video conference. How do you start? First focus on creating trust
Have you ever dreaded a conversation at work, or one of a private nature? Perhaps it was about a job you wanted to be considered for, or a new project you really wanted to shift your focus and company resources to? And you needed to convince your supervisor of why they should agree to it. Or maybe you needed to have a chat with a supervisee over their behavior at work? Someone had complained about their combative and rude communication style? It was your job to bring this to their attention and get their agreement to commit to change. All the situations above fall under the umbrella of – difficult conversations. How can we make difficult conversations easier? Envision the outcome. Ideal outcome. Also envision obstacles and how to overcome them. Clarify your goals Anticipate the reactions of the other person Check your assumptions Understand the needs and goals of the other person Pay attention to communication styles Listen for more thoughts on how to manage difficult conversations... #Performancemanagement #difficultconversations #management #coaching
Most of us find both receiving and giving feedback stressful.. or at least uncomfortable.
Add to the mix cultural differences and it can become really complicated.
Many of us are familiar with the so called sandwich method of feedback; start by sharing some positive feedback, then move to discuss the areas of improvement, or growth (weaknesses) and then finalize the discussion by committing to goals and actions that will help improve performance or growth.
The sandwich method has been taught for years in business schools, trainings and workshops. But, does it really work in every cultural context and with every person?
No.
Listen to this episode to learn about different sandwiches and how to communicate feedback effectively in global and multicultural contexts
#feedback #culture #crosscultural #communication #intercultural #globalleadership #leadership #performancemanagment