Language of Love is a weekly podcast where Dr. Berman shares her compassionate, humorous, and no-nonsense advice: answering listener questions and interviewing thought leaders and experts on relevant topics. Dr. Berman is ready to help you create the fulfilling and passionate love life you deserve, regardless of your relationship status, gender, or sexual orientation. Are you ready to get started?
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Language of Love is a weekly podcast where Dr. Berman shares her compassionate, humorous, and no-nonsense advice: answering listener questions and interviewing thought leaders and experts on relevant topics. Dr. Berman is ready to help you create the fulfilling and passionate love life you deserve, regardless of your relationship status, gender, or sexual orientation. Are you ready to get started?
Do You Really Want Sex Or Are You Just Trying to Feel Okay?
Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman
6 minutes
2 months ago
Do You Really Want Sex Or Are You Just Trying to Feel Okay?
When that desire for sex hits hard, like I need this now, have you ever paused and thought… is this really about sex? Or is it something else? A need to feel safe? Held? Less alone?
In this Language of Love Bite, we’re talking about the kind of sex that doesn’t always come from turn-on, but from a deeper part of us that’s craving regulation. Because the truth is, your nervous system plays a much bigger role in desire than most of us realize.
We talk about how your body might be reaching for sex not out of passion, but as a way to self-soothe and how to gently tell the difference. I also share a simple body-based practice you can use anytime to check in with yourself and get really honest about what you’re actually needing in the moment.
This isn’t about shame. It’s about choice. And giving yourself the chance to have sex that feels nourishing… not just numbing.
We explore:
Why your body might crave sex when it’s actually craving safety
How past experiences shape the way we reach for intimacy
The subtle signs you might be using sex to regulate your emotions
A go-to somatic practice (“Body Yes / Body No”) to check what’s really going on inside
How to shift from survival sex to sacred, satisfying connection
Ever had sex and felt more empty afterward?
You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you.
There’s just more going on beneath the surface.
If you’re ready to explore the deeper layers of your intimacy, grab my book Sex Magic, a powerful invitation to challenge everything you’ve been taught about your sexuality and self-worth.
Because sex should feel like coming home to yourself, not like you’re trying to fill an invisible gap.
Want to uncover what’s holding you back in bed and beyond?
Take the free quiz on my website to get clarity and personalized insights into your intimacy blocks.
And while you're there, don’t miss 7 Days to Better Sex, a practical, transformative program that helps you get in the driver’s seat of your sex life, actively creating the passion and connection you truly desire.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman
Language of Love is a weekly podcast where Dr. Berman shares her compassionate, humorous, and no-nonsense advice: answering listener questions and interviewing thought leaders and experts on relevant topics. Dr. Berman is ready to help you create the fulfilling and passionate love life you deserve, regardless of your relationship status, gender, or sexual orientation. Are you ready to get started?
