Married mum Deepa Paul didn’t have ‘sleeping with strangers’ on her bingo card. She grew up in the Catholic and conservative Philippines and married her college sweetheart. But underneath, Deepa yearned for more.    Deepa wanted to open up her marriage, but convincing her husband took time and tears. Eventually, they settled on boundaries and set up their dating profiles.  Having sex with new people meant that Deepa could explore her desires without shame. It also sparked a renewal in her marriage.   In her book Ask me how it works: love in an open marriage Deepa answers the questions we all want to know about polyamory.   What to listen to next:  The new way to date  How to have better sex, with Emily Nagoski  Esther Perel will change how you think about intimacy  Oh my kink! Pulling back the covers on BDSM  You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.  What to read next:   How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood  The dark side of being a perfectionist  Shame and disgust: Why we find this STI so hard to talk about  What happens to your sex life during perimenopause?  This episode will answer questions like:  How does polyamory work?  Do people get jealous in open relationships?  What is couples therapy like?  How do you navigate the stigma of an open relationship?  How do you talk to your partner about sex?  How do you talk to your kids about your sex life?  This episode contains references to polyamory, open marriage, wedding, sex, sexuality, marriage, parenting, children, kids, communication, couples therapy, couples counselling, infidelity, cheating, online dating. 

This is a guided meditation to help with chronic pain.   Endometriosis hurts. It can be a gnarling, twisting, stabbing, relentless source of pain. Finding a way through that pain can be overwhelming at times. Meditation can help.   Gynaecological surgeon and endometriosis specialist Dr Pav Nanayakkara guides you through a series of breathing exercises to shift your relationship with pain.   This isn’t a standard Ladies, We Need to Talk episode, it’s a tool for your mindfulness toolbox. One you can come back to any time you need.   These meditations aren't designed to replace medical pain relief or the advice of a good doctor, rather to compliment them. What to listen to next:  Endometriosis: Pain, periods, medical gaslighting The rage in my pelvis When sex hurts Perimenopause: WTF is happening to our bodies Free to bleed: escaping menstrual shame You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Shame and disgust: Why we find this STI so hard to talk about What happens to your sex life during perimenopause? How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood This episode contains references to endometriosis, gynaecology, period pain, chronic pain, pain management, meditation, attention, acceptance, mindfulness, breathing, breath work. 

Around one million Australian women live with endometriosis. That's around one in seven, so chances are you know someone dealing with debilitating pain, medical misogyny and fertility issues because of the disease. Awareness about endometriosis has expanded in the last few years, but there's still a long way to go. Yumi Stynes meets women who've spent a lot of time and money seeking a diagnosis and fighting to be heard. She also sits down with Professor Caroline Ford from the Ainsworth Endometriosis Research Institute at UNSW who offers hope for a future with tailored treatments and less BS. Helpful links: Endometriosis Foundation  (these folks run support groups) National Endometriosis Clinical and Scientific trials registry Endometriosis Australia Pelvic Pain foundation Endo Zone What to listen to next: The rage in my pelvis When sex hurts Perimenopause: WTF is happening to our bodies Free to bleed: escaping menstrual shame Shedding the shame of herpes The new way to date You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Shame and disgust: Why we find this STI so hard to talk about What happens to your sex life during perimenopause? How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood This episode will answer questions like: What is endometriosis? How can you tell if you have endometriosis? Is it normal to have painful periods? What are the treatment options for endometriosis? Does endometriosis affect your fertility? Does endometriosis affect your sex life? This episode contains references to endometriosis, gynaecology, period pain, chronic pain, painful sex, medical, gaslighting, medical misogyny, cancer, fertility, infertility, IVF, uterus, lesions, laparoscopy, endo, endometrial tissue, chronic pelvic pain, adenomyosis, dysmenorrhea, chocolate cysts, blood, National Action Plan for Endometriosis.

Artificial Intelligence is supercharging a new era of misogyny. There are more weapons than ever for men to use against women to silence and shame us, chief among them deepfakes (AI generated images and videos). And tech companies and regulators are not doing enough to fight this abuse, which is affecting everyone from schoolgirls to prime ministers. After her book Men Who Hate Women dropped, academic Laura Bates was sent an AI-generated nightmare. It was her face, used in a sexually violent doctored image. Her new book, The New Age of Sexism: How the AI Revolution is Reinventing Misogyny dives into this wild collision of technology and hate, from deepfake pornography to cyber brothels, chatbots and robot girlfriends. Laura calls out a future where women are easy targets and the rules don't apply. The tech might be new, but the misogyny is old and crusty —and Laura says it's time to fight back and protect women now. Come to our next live show: How pop culture turned a generation of women against themselves What to listen to next: Are our boys ok? Fighting online misogyny with Kate Scott Falling for a narcissist Calling out wellness bullsh*t with Dr Jen Gunter Sashi Perera on reinvention You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: Shame and disgust: Why we find this STI so hard to talk about What happens to your sex life during perimenopause? How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood The dark side of being a perfectionist This episode will address questions like, what does AI mean for women and women's rights? How is technology being used in gender-based violence? What is a deepfake? What is the psychological impact of online abuse? What can I do if there's a deepfake using my image? This episode contains references to pornography, metaverse, online, deepfake, discrimination, inequality, harassment, reddit, social media, sexual assault, abuse, AI, Artificial Intelligence.

Trying to find a life partner on a dating app who's not a gun toting, fish wielding weirdo can be like trying to find a needle in the haystack. But according to Professor Jennie Young, there's a much more empowering way of sorting through all that hay. She's come up with a technique to hack the apps called 'The Burnt Haystack Method' to help women wade through the online swamp. Jennie never thought she would use her academic background to become a dating influencer. She was 50 when she first started online dating and was struck by the onslaught of stilted, mundane, and rude conversations. She kept getting the same advice — make yourself as appealing as possible and give men the benefit of the doubt. But Jennie, along with her army of followers, is turning that advice on its head. She's giving women permission to be as judgemental as possible and be totally yourself along the way. Jennie chats with Yumi Stynes about how to hack the apps and win at dating. Think of this episode as a tool in your arsenal if you're dating, or a trusty guide if you're close to someone who is. What to listen to next: Ditching dating apps Paying for sex at 70 How to have better sex, with Emily Nagoski Rosie Waterland and Jamila Rizvi's broken brains You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. What to read next: The women staying single by choice in a world of relentless dating pressure Sugar babies give rich, older men the 'full girlfriend experience' at a price This episode will address questions like, why are conversations so weird on dating apps? How can I have a better time on dating apps? Who should I avoid on the dating apps? This episode contains references to burned haystack dating method, BHDM, B2B, block to burn, block2burn, Jennie Young, dating apps, couples, partner, love, relationships, dating events, Match Group, Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, divorce.

Dating apps are a drag. And women are ditching them in droves. Beyond the swiping, more of us are daring to date in real life. Yumi Stynes chats to women moving away from the apps and towards in-person singles events. From post-divorce blind dates to queer speed dating, dinners with strangers and exercise classes, all in the name of finding love. Or at least a little lust. Plus, friend of the pod and Lifestyle Editor at Guardian Australia, Alyx Gorman helps us understand why more women are dating IRL. What to listen to next:   Loneliness — you're not alone  Relationship resuscitation — coming back from the brink  'All Women Want' — how to have great sex, with Alyx Gorman  Digital dating despair  What to read next:  The women staying single by choice in a world of relentless dating pressure  Sugar babies give rich, older men the 'full girlfriend experience' at a price  Global study shows online dating does not always lead to happy relationships  This episode will address questions like, why are people logging off the dating apps? Where did dating apps go wrong? Why are single in-person events on the rise? You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode contains references to dating apps, single events, couples, partner, love, relationships, dating events, in-person, running clubs, pickle ball, paddle, boxing, Match Group, Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, divorce.

As part of Women's Health Week we're bringing back our episode on Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and the difficulty of getting a diagnosis.  Weight gain, bristly hairs, no period. Welcome to Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome.   PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility worldwide and it can cause debilitating physical and psychological symptoms.  1 in 8 women have PCOS, so that’s at least a couple of friends in your group chat. So why do we still know so little about it?   Yumi Stynes catches up with ladies who’ve been battling PCOS for years and finds out how they get on top of it.  Featured in this episode:  Professor Helena Teede, female endocrine specialist from Monash University This episode will answer questions such as:  What is PCOS?  Why does PCOS cause weight pain? What is the link between PCOS and infertility?  How is PCOS diagnosed?    What to listen to next:  Has Ozempic killed body positivity?  Calling out wellness bullsh*t with Dr Jen Gunter Perimenopause: but aren't I too young?  You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.  This episode contains references to PCOS, weight gain, excess hair, medical misogyny and infertility.   

Stand-up star Sashi Perera called off her wedding at the last minute. There were tears and tantrums but that wasn't the final time the lawyer-turned-comedian blew up her life. Moving to a country in the middle of civil unrest? Tick. Dating a series of duds? Tick. Quitting a well-paid job for stand-up comedy? Tick. Sashi's redefined what success means to her through career changes, relationship breakdowns and IVF struggles. Yumi Stynes sits down with Sashi to find out how she's learned to run her own race. What to listen to next:  How to give zero f*cks with Gina Chick, Jessie Tu and Anna Broinowski  Jessie Tu, on miscarriage and doing motherhood her way  Emotional labour with Rose Hackman  The price of perfectionism  What to read next:   The price of perfectionism for women  How Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhood  Sandy seemingly has a perfect marriage, but she’d never been lonelier  You can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.  This episode contains references to marriage, wedding, runaway bride, comedy, stand-up, dating, Tinder, online dating, shame, depression, mental health, immigrant, immigration, family, IVF, pregnancy, miscarriage, relationships. 

A herpes diagnosis can come with a whole lot of stigma, but it shouldn't. Around 15% of us carry the antibodies to genital herpes, making it one of the most common STIs in Australia. Yumi Stynes finds out what it's like hearing you have herpes for the first time and how to best manage. From itching to tell partners to soothing your symptoms and how to keep sex humming.  Plus, STI expert Dr Ellie Freedman explains the science behind the virus and how it changes over time. You might also like: The secret lives of vaginas Esther Perel — how to have a hard conversation This episode contains references to genital herpes, herpes simplex virus type one, herpes simplex virus type two, antibodies, sexual health, womens health, shame, stigma, mental health, vagina, vulva.

Approaching her 70th birthday, Gail Rice booked herself an appointment with a sex worker. She'd never done anything like it in her life. As a younger woman, Gail had enjoyed a string of sexual and romantic partners. As the years passed, her sexual currency dwindled and she was hungry for intimacy. But exchanging money for sex taught Gail much more about herself than she was expecting. This is a story about erotic power, ageing and finding the courage to ask for what you want.  You might also like:  Loneliness – you're not alone  Sugar babies – dating men for money  This episode contains references to sex work, escort, ageing, older Australians, older women, eroticism, sex, orgasm, erotic massage, people pleasing, gender, orgasm gap, relationships, monogamy, dating apps, online dating.  

Ozempic has entered the group chat. Since GLP-1 agonist drugs burst onto the scene, they've been hailed as a weight-loss game changer, but they've also raised uncomfortable questions about what bodies are acceptable, or not. For years, the body inclusivity movement pushed back against the idea that only thin bodies can be 'healthy' but Ozempic & co are drowning out this message. So, what do these drugs mean for fat liberation? And how can we shift our collective thinking around weight and morality? Yumi Stynes chats to a panel of amazing women about the impact of this new generation of weight-loss drugs and how we can all find ways to be kinder to our bodies. Featured in this conversation: Dr Emma Beckett, nutritionist Evie Gardiner, size inclusivity advocate Nat Atkinson, Mum, taking Wegovy You might also like: The Ozempic era I'm fat, don't hate me—Aubrey Gordon Fat talk This episode contains references to fat, fatphobia, weight stigma, Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, GLP-1 agonists, semaglutide, obesity, diet, diet culture, women, body image, self-esteem, bullying, weight loss.

Having blah sex? You've CUM to the right place. Dr Emily Nagoski has the tools for you. The renowned sex educator and author of Come as You Are, Burnout and Come Together brings the wisdom of psychology and sex research to the fore. She chats with Yumi Stynes about the science behind our sex drives and how we can bring back the chutzpah in the bedroom. (R) You might also like: Is everyone having better sex than me? https://bit.ly/4okf9LO Perimenopause: how to have better sex https://ab.co/47bAC3s This episode contains references to sex, long-term relationships, marriage, libido, sex drive, heterosexual relationships, queer, gender, mental load. 

Unrelenting standards, high expectations and a fierce, reprimanding inner critic. Perfectionism is often celebrated, but striving for flawlessness comes at a cost. There’s lots of ways we, as women feel pressure to be perfect: be the perfect partner, the perfect mother, have the perfect body. But, of course, perfectionism is always out of reach. So, how can we learn to be kinder to ourselves and let go, even just a little?   Yumi Stynes meets women whose perfectionism has consumed their lives. She learns what happens when a perfectionist f*cks up, and how to recover. Plus, clinical psychologist Eileen Seah shares tips on how we can all accept our imperfect selves.   You might also like:   Anxious? We got you   Penny Moodie’s OCD  This episode contains references to perfectionism, procrastination, anxiety, depression, relationships, parenting, striving, IVF, fertility, career, eating disorders, self-criticism, psychology, therapy. 

Hannah Diviney never saw herself reflected in pop culture. And she definitely didn't see herself as the object of desire. Growing up with cerebral palsy, Hannah watched on as rom-coms and teen dramas depicted able-bodied bombshells fall in love, snog their guts out and have sex. All these experiences, it seemed, were out of reach for her. It meant that Hannah had the demanding job of being her own role model. She had to be the change she wanted to see. You might also like:  Sex and the D word  Your sex and disability stories  This episode contains references to: dating, relationships, disability, sex, sex scenes, television, entertainment industry, fear, anxiety, body image, Beyonce, Lizzo, Latecomers. 

Have you ever experienced 'the ick'? It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their flat cap, the way they chew, or how they laugh. Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question — what causes it? To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick — why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style. This episode comes from our science friends at All in the Mind. You might also like: Quitting men: Hope Woodard's 'boysober' movement Hannah Ferguson's case against hookup sex This episode contains references to: dating, relationships, evolutionary psychology, disgust, break up, situationship, love, conflict, couples.

'Bounce back' culture can find someone else to pick on, we're celebrating bodies who've given birth. And this episode isn't just for the mums. It's for everyone who's ever felt the bod they were given this earth to roam in isn't good enough. Yumi Stynes meets women who've fought the insidious pressures on mums' bodies and found a new appreciation for themselves. Featuring: burns survivor and author Turia Pitt, founder of the Australian Birth Stories podcast Sophie Walker, body image researcher Dr Zali Yager and mum of two Tegan Russell. You might also like:  Body Image  Birth trauma  Love your boobs  This episode contains references to: body image, eating disorders, birth, baby, motherhood, parenting, stretch marks, weight gain, weight loss, bounce back, diet, diet culture, children, self love, prolapse, child birth, Australian Birth Stories podcast.

Emotional labour is the overlooked cousin of the mental load. It's managing the feelings of people around us, from being a shoulder to cry on to cheering on your colleagues. Taking the time to check in on relatives and making sure the fridge is stocked with everyone's favourite foods. Emotional labour is invisible yet vital work that falls more heavily on women. Journalist Rose Hackman reckons it's time women are recognised, and even compensated for this emotional output. Rose chats to Yumi Stynes about how this form of labour underpins our homes, relationships and workplaces, and how we can be more selective about where we put our efforts. You might also like: Solving the mental load Beating burnout This episode contains references to: gender roles, parenting, motherhood, orgasm gap, sex, mental load, caring, fatigue, burnout.

Welcome to the world of swingers, where the libidos are high but so are the stakes. Join Yumi Stynes as she heads to a swinger's club and learns what it takes to open up a relationship without breaking trust. Meet the women in the swinging scene and find out what they get out of it (besides the orgasms). This episode will change the way you think about swinging, and maybe even re-frame your approach to intimacy. (R) You might also like: What we need men to know about sex How to have great sex This episode contains references to: sex, swinging, intimacy, couples, marriage, open relationships, LGBT, threesome, unicorns communication.

When Jamila Rizvi was dealing with the emotional sucker punch of a brain tumour diagnosis, she needed a friend who understood what she was going through. Enter, writer and comedian Rosie Waterland. Rosie knows what it's like to live with a broken brain. A childhood marked by abuse and trauma has left her struggling with complex PTSD throughout her adulthood. Rosie and Jamila have very different illnesses but lots in common. They chat with Yumi Stynes about how the world views physical and mental illness differently, the lasagne sympathy scale and keeping on keeping on when there's no cure in sight. Please note, this episode contains discussion of suicide. Listen back: Jamila Rizvi—when life doesn’t go to plan Rosie Waterland's mum died. She’s kind of relieved Helpful links: Lifeline 13 11 14 Brain Tumour Alliance Australia SANE Australia This episode contains references to: chronic illness, brain tumour, depression, PTSD, trauma, relationships, grief, loss, carer, caring, mental health and suicide.

Does your partner feel more like a housemate than a lover? Have you lost your spark in the overflowing laundry basket? Resentment got you snarking at each other? Get yourself to the relationship ER! If things are flatlining and you want your partnership to survive, there are treatment options. Yumi Stynes meets women who have brought their relationships back from the dead. Plus, sex and relationships therapist, Toya Ricci shares advice on how to build healthier, long-lasting connections. This episode contains references to: sex therapy, relationship therapy, marriage difficulty, marriage sabbatical, relationship sabbatical, intermission, infidelity, couples counselling, parenting, mental load, mental health.