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Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Andy Wilson
132 episodes
4 days ago
A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.
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Film History
TV & Film
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All content for Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye is the property of Andy Wilson and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.
Show more...
Film History
TV & Film
Episodes (20/132)
Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Babe

We're starting our trio of alt-holiday films with the talking pig classic, Babe. Why Brooke chose this movie. 1990s Provo Mormon prohibitions on PG13 movies, so... Babe! We didn't expect the social commentary! CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE! Mrs. Farmer Hoggett is underwritten and the kids are annoying! Are the mice annoying? Be nice to retail workers during the holidays, people! Speaking of being dicks, the controversy between George Miller and credit for this movie. A very gentle film that feels Christmas-y even if it isn't all about Christmas.

Next up is KISS KISS BANG BANG.

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1 year ago
1 hour 12 minutes 35 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Bull Durham

There IS crying in baseball, especially for Rangers fans, and especially with this movie. It's Melissa's birthday movie! And Mark is back! The romanticism of minor league baseball. Welcome to Wrexham.


And finally, our trio of alt holiday movies!

Babe (1995)

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Spirited (2022) -- note: NOT Spirited Away, which we would love to do but is not a holiday movie and Miyazaki is just too much.

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1 year ago
1 hour 39 minutes 10 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream VI

It's Scream 6 and the end (for now) of the Scream franchise. Brooke has 30 seconds to summarize all of her problems with this movie.

We rank all of the films and Melissa updates us with her Smash or Pass of all the killers.

For her birthday we're talking baseball and Bull Durham! Then a special surprise trilogy! Listen for what it is!

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2 years ago
1 hour 32 minutes 56 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream V

It's a re-quel, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Why this movie totally rules, and fixes/elevates some of the problems from Scream 3 and 4. Jack Quaid. Toxic fandom. Nepo babies. And we end it with a game of "Smash or Pass" with all of our spooky season villains, including all the Scream murderers.

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2 years ago
1 hour 33 minutes 38 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream 4

Like the scream franchise, we're back from a break and ready to talk this return! Isn't this like what Scream 3 was supposed to be? Why do people hate this movie? Who guessed the ending? Lack of progress on racial representation. 2010s and race in Hollywood.

Melissa announces her birthday movie for after Scream 3-- and Go Rangers!

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2 years ago
1 hour 22 minutes 14 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream 3

It's Scream 3, it's October, welcome to official spooky season! (Also, Go Rangers!) Wes Craven's use of rape, specifically children who are a product of rape being evil. Carrie Fisher! Andy can't remember Clive Barker's Lord of Illusions and starts everyone doing Adam Sandler impressions. Randy sighting! Stab-a-thon! Secret siblings? Dumb trope. Announcing our guided meditation and scream therapy. Circle Stab! Hollywood Stabs-- circle gets the stab! Stab Your Luck! (the biggest giggle fit in the history of the podcast) Scream's influence on mainstream horror. Some self reflection on if violent movies have affected us... nope, it was Dungeons and Dragons all along! Dropout.TV, GameChanger, and Brennan Lee Mulligan. The Dom DM clip we reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bj60InmphBE

Box office, Studio Notes - Murder Throuple Stab Whammy, Best Deaths, Best Song -- Andy wants Creed to get stabbed. The Creed What If music video where Ghostface is murdering them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkHjFzw1TUg

We don't really want anyone to get stabbed. Anyway, go Rangers! Scream 4 next!

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2 years ago
1 hour 36 minutes 11 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream 2

It's Scream 2 and Andy, Brooke and Melissa are... talking baseball? Also sequels. And how this is the most stacked supporting cast in the history of sequels... except maybe Sharknado 2. Treatment of Black characters in this movie and franchise. Are there any sequels better than the original?


Next week Scream 3-- go Rangers!

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2 years ago
1 hour 20 minutes 43 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Scream

New series! Why this is the most Xennial movie ever. Intergenerational trauma and absent parents, absent adults. Kevin Williamson, Wes Craven, and more horrible tales of how awful the Weinstiens were. Drew Barrymore and that opening scene. The first "meta" film. Queer coding. Goddamn patriarchy. Rated NC-17 for "viscera." Box office and an insane slate of movies playing in its opening weekend.

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2 years ago
1 hour 55 minutes 48 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

We say goodbye to Indy with a few tears but lots of analysis, and tangents about dating and patriarchy and legacy like you wouldn't believe! We also rank the Indy films and you won't believe how much we agree and disagree!

Next up we're doing Scream! So pop your popcorn and let's talk about our favorite scary movies!

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2 years ago
1 hour 41 minutes 27 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

It's the Indy movie we've been putting off and here we are finally. The film's treatment of its Indigenous people. Indy getting older. What are the elements of an Indiana Jones movie? Shia LeBeouf! Andy's studio notes and Malinche.

Next week is the Dial of Destiny which is the most Mark de Leon movie ever.

Stay to the end for a "bonus scene."

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2 years ago
1 hour 58 minutes 41 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Barbie

Hi Barbie! An all-Barbie episode featuring Brooke, Melissa, Kitt, returning from her previous guest spots Kelly, and Brooke's Skipper-- Pru! Welcome Barbies! Barbie and the Rockers Ken!

Opening and closing music from the 1997 Lillith Fair featuring Indigo Girls, Sarah Mclachlan, Jewel, and Meredith Brooks.

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2 years ago
2 hours 16 minutes 39 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

It's Kitt's birthday movie pick-- the 2013 Ben Stiller film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Why Brooke hates Ben Stiller (but not in this movie). How we Mitty'd out of this movie several times. Major Tom/David Bowie. Danny Kaye and James Thurber. AMAZING stacked supporting cast.

Andy's original review from Christmas 2013 where he gave this 3.5/5 stars.

Hope you enjoyed! Next episode is our Barbie episode!

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2 years ago
1 hour 36 minutes 32 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Indiana Jones and the Daddy Issues, er, Last Crusade

Special guest Christi joins us! How "Isolation Playhouse" script readings kept us sane during the pandemic. Everyone saw this in theaters! Some of us... in MALLS! We loved this movie! Because it's inoffensive? How this movie is about Spielberg's daddy issues. Upside/downside? Great movie about fathers and sons... and no female characters needed. A 20 minute debate about whether Elsa was a Nazi or not, and how complicit she was with acting with the Nazis. But those action sequences! Hat on a hat Russian nesting dolls of action. And those deaths! We want more women in the movie, but can we also get more Sallah and Marcus being bros? If you've got a date in Alexandretta she'll be waiting in Iskenderun. John Williams and why San Antonio doesn't have a symphony any more.

The Diet Coke commercial- "You have chosen wisely!"

Next week is... The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller version) which you can watch on Paramount Plus and also a 5 minute tangent about the Strange New Worlds/Lower Decks crossover. After that is BARBIE and per Andy's birthday wish a very special format. Listen and find out!

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2 years ago
1 hour 49 minutes 28 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Indy's back (and so are we!) and most of the crew is back together fresh off our Barbenheimer viewings. History with this movie. PG-13. The sexism and Willie. The racism. But also? This movie has some great stuff-- the mine cart, Short Round, and more. A tangent about Sound of Freedom and Operation Underground Railroad.

Next time back with Last Crusade!

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2 years ago
1 hour 40 minutes 30 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Don't look Marion! It's Raiders of the Lost Ark, and we have Joe from Tales from the Comic Shop with us. Indy/Star Wars merch nostalgia minute. Melissa is extra salty this week-- we talk briefly about the Texas Rangers. Is this a James Bond movie? Andy breaks out his weirdo George Lucas impression. The elephant in the room re Indy and Marion. George Lucas wanted her to be 11? Great, so he's a sexual predator tomb raider. But also this movie rules. Maybe artifacts like these should remain buried. NAZIS. John Williams score. Studio notes. A side conversation about film, practical effects vs cgi, Alien, and why movies from this era are so special.

Next week we get even more problematic with Temple of Doom!


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2 years ago
1 hour 43 minutes 47 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Saturday's Warrior Watch-Along Commentary

Watch along with us on YouTube with the Hard to Find Mormon Movies channel.

And we're sorry.

We also take a tiny break right before the "Line Upon Line" song and hit pause for a few minutes. But we tell you when we restart.

Again, we're really really sorry.

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2 years ago
1 hour 55 minutes 56 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Saturday's Warrior

It's Brooke's birthday so... we watched Saturday's Warrior? We're sorry. You can hear our entire commentary track, too. But here's the short of it. This is terrible. Pam is all the tropes. The Population Bomb, eco-fascism, and white nationalism. The goddamn patriarchy and its part in this.

But join us next time for a movie with slightly fewer Nazis-- Raiders of the Lost Ark!

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2 years ago
36 minutes 31 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Evil Dead Rise

It's Evil Dead Rise, which was just in theaters! Weirdly, we end up not talking about it that much, but instead go offf on long tangents about Scream, woodchippers, and then Brooke reveals her special birthday movie choice at the end.

It's a doozy, and Andy would like to announce his retirement from the podcast as he has now gone to live in the woodchipper after this episode's studio note.

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2 years ago
1 hour 14 minutes

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
Evil Dead (2013)

Andy, Melissa and Brooke are OVER this one. How did they make the tree rape WORSE? Diablo Cody? The Final Girl trope. No clever sign off because we're just so done.


Next time it's Evil Dead Rise, which is now available on VOD!

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2 years ago
39 minutes 44 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
The Cabin the the Woods

A quick Evil Dead Rise review! All about Joss Whedon (and Drew Goddard!) Separating art from artist, but... hoo boy. Fran Kranz as Whedon self-insert. MGM's financial troubles and the delays of the movie. Bad test screenings. Harry Knowles, Butt-Numb-a-Thon, and sex pests helping sex pests. Supermarket Sweep. Everything on the whiteboard. Archetypes. Sigourney Weaver is the GOAT. Not a troll-- Dante's Peak. Alt universe versions of this movie made by other directors.

Back next time with 2013's Evil Dead reboot by Fede Alvarez.

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2 years ago
1 hour 32 minutes 56 seconds

Kiss Your Franchise Goodbye
A movie podcast about film franchises, their ups and downs, franchises that worked, franchises that failed, franchises that never were.