Day 3 is here and we have our first guest curator of the 31 Days of Howling Beast. Jeffery X Martin has been tasked to cover The Beast That Killed Women. Not much of a plot here. There’s a gorilla who’s attacking young nudists in Florida. Police are baffled, tops are non existent…….you get the gist. This is just the first of many guests on this run but this one is pretty great.

What happens when the saddest priest in the world takes on the Devil himself, who has taken the form of a king cobra? Join your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema, X and Cootie, as they sink their fangs into the 1981 movie Jaws of Satan! This movie happened! Hear Mark Ball pick up the Landline of the Damned! Hear Chef Al reveal the identity of one of his first celebrity crushes! Hear Cootie and X get drunk and spoil this movie from Hell to breakfast! All your favorite segments are here, and so are the ones you don’t like! [Sorry, kids. We’ve got a format and we’re sticking to it.] Let Kiss the Goat slither into your earholes and make monkey noises! Your hashtag for this episode: #PrettyPrettySnakeCave

It’s banana bread and bloodletting in the Bible Belt on this episode of Kiss the Goat as X and Cootie take a long look at the 2010 movie, The Last Exorcism! Cootie and X take a deep dive into the film and talk frankly about their experiences in charismatic churches, the efficacy of exorcisms, and that movie’s controversial and divisive ending. X and Cootie attempt to follow a banana bread recipe straight from the movie, because why wouldn’t they? Chillerpop creator Rolph Picler answers the Landline of the Damned! Allan McPherson returns to the dark fold with a Recipe from Hell! Cootie and X drink! They answer your questions! They crawl on their bellies like a reptile! [This episode is two and a half hours long! What were we thinking?] Anoint your earholes with some sweet oil and hallelujah this episode right up into your Amen Corner! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

Celebrate Cootie’s birthday with this humongous, jam-packed episode in which X and Cootie discuss Mausoleum 1983, the winner of the Acolyte’s Choice listening poll! What’s not to love about demonic breasts? Long-time friend of the show Allan McPherson reveals his workout regimen when he answers the call of the void on the Landline of the Damned! Cootie answers questions from listeners! Bloopers! Birthday wishes for our High Priestess! Learn about Cootie and X’s second date and find out what X got Cootie for her birthday! [Hint: it’s large and girthy.] Prepare yourself for slurred words, foul language, and generally bad ideas on this extra-super-shiny-special episode of Kiss the Goat! Stick it in your ears… and rip the knob off! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

It’s a birthday celebration at the Online Shrine of Satanic Cinema as Cootie and X discuss William Girdler’s Native American sort-of-but-not-really possession movie, The Manitou. What did Mistress Stephanie give X for his birthday? Not that. No, not that either. You’ll just have to listen and find out. Also: an experiment in demonic possession for movie fans, Gary Hill of the Cinema Beef Podcast picks up the Landline of the Damned, and X and Cootie finally discuss the Conjureverse! Hashtag this episode #NeckBaby4Life! Ram this episode into your earholes and let the entertainment splooge out! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

On this stultifying episode of Kiss the Goat, your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema, X and Cootie (respectively) undergo The Rite 2011 in which Sir Anthony Hopkins bitch-slaps a five-year-old girl and laughs about it! Host of Hello! This is the Doomed Show Richard Glenn Schmidt picks up the Landline of the Damned and discovers the calls are coming from OUTSIDE THE HOUSE! Also: Who could kill a child? A Sri Lankan exorcist, that’s who! Push your boundaries with this episode’s Grandmaster Challenge during Drinking With the Devil! Plus: who makes better goat noises– Cootie or X? It’s all here waiting to submerge itself in the delicious moistness of your earholes on Kiss the Goat! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

In this thrilling episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X examine Mario Bava’s movie from the early 1970s, Lisa and the Devil. Is it really a Devil flick or just another freakin’ reincarnation movie? Plus: another surprising appearance by Allida Valli, Rae Tysun and Persphone Agàpe take the call during the Number of the Geeks segment, and does Satan electrocute meth users? Get all this infotainment and answers to more of the Acolytes’ burning questions in the latest installment of Ask the Goat! Insert Show A into Earhole B and let the madness of Kiss the Goat slowly seep into your headbrain! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

On this episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X take a mortified look at Alberto De Martino’s possession movie THE ANTICHRIST 1974. This film features multiple exorcisms, bad table manners and heavily implied goat kissing! Also: a super special secret guest (okay, it’s Jamie J. Sammons) picks up the phone during the Number of the Geeks segment and — at last — it’s the triumphant return of Ask the Goat! We don’t think you’re ready for this hell-y, but please stick this show right into your hungry ears and let the weirdness seep into your headbrain! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

For this episode of Kiss the Goat, Cootie and X watched the 1978 programmer, THE EVIL, starring Andrew Prine’s magnificent pants. Less than an hour later, they had forgotten the chronological order of the events in the movie. Does it matter? Probably not. They still recorded a whole show about it. Plus: Ray and Seph answer the Number of the Geeks, the 1970s was a great decade for flammability and Satan can’t get laid! By the way, do you have a moment for us to tell you about the shining glory of the majestic pants of Andrew Prine? Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

On this episode of Kiss the Goat, X and Cootie sink their teeth into William Friedkin’s heartwarming coming-of-age tale, The Exorcist. Plus: Cootie and X make a phone call, Drinking With the Devil and where exactly is Washington, D.C.? Pull up a chair, sit on the floor and gently insert this show into your earholes! Follow Kiss the Goat on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, and Google Podcasts. And catch up on every episode right here.

At last… The Fourth Annual Kiss the Goat Holiday Extravaganza! Cootie and X are podcasting from the North Pole this year, where the only hot things are Cootie and the mic. [Has the new version of Skype been wreaking havoc with you, too?] Your High Priest and Priestess of Satanic Cinema talk about the winner of the listener poll, THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES! Here’s a surprise: X is drunk! The Breaking Point! Dinner for Two with Chef Al! The return of Drinking with the Devil! Also, the telephone keeps ringing. Pull those sleigh bells outta your arse and get some festivities in your earholes! Happy Hellidays!   MUSIC NOTES Opening: KoRn — “Jingle Bells” Commentary Music Bed: Cryo Chamber — “Nightmare Music” Hidden Track: Karaoke — “Starman” [Parody lyrics by X; performed by X] Christmas Music: Christmas Music we found on YouTube Closing Music: Low — “Half-Light” We don’t own any of this music so Fair Use Act and all that. Also, hey Cryo Chamber, your music is fucking awesome and, rest assured, we don’t make a freakin’ dime off this show. Non-profit af. Holiday Song: “Don’t Show Me Your Penis for Christmas” — Cootie & X [words and music by X; instruments by X; lead vox by Cootie] Now, THIS one, we totally own. Let us know if you want to use it.

This is it. Make no mistake where you are. Welcome to the innermost circle of Hell, and even if the punishment isn’t truly eternal, it sure feels like it. What is the final movie you watch in Hell? Take our hands and let us wander into this final darkness together.

Sometimes, the Devil wears a little black dress.  

The Breaking Point. At Least Ten Things I Hate About You. Buy Me A Drink. Dinner for Two. Ask Aunt Goatie. The Kiss the Goat team invite you to join them as they reach the midway point of their journey through the cinematic underworld, and here there be witches. What is The Third Movie You Watch in Hell?

The journey continues… Do you dare subject yourself to The Second Movie You Watch In Hell? Sure, you do. {Closing Music: “The Biggest Ass in the Laundromat (Shelby Mix)” music by halfdeaf/samples by DJX}

October on Kiss the Goat begins with our most shocking episode ever. And we’re only getting started. You are not ready.

  We let Chef Al program the show and things went insane! Rescued from technical difficulties, recorded twice, and hours spent editing and rebuilding from the ground up, this is the episode the Universe did not want you to hear. But you know what we say here at Kiss the Goat, right? “Yes, sir, the check is in the mail.” That’s… that’s right, isn’t it? Join X, Cootie, and Chef Al as we discuss unnecessary consonants in first names, the inherent terror of voiceovers, and Sammy Davis Jr. We check in with our old buddy, Bob Larson, in our Get Your Exorcise segment. And Ask the Goat goes totally off the rails. Oh, yeah… there’s a movie, too. We talk about Messiah of Evil, written by the same folks who brought you the Howard the Duck movie. It’s bananapants insane. If your earholes are empty, be like Carrie White and plug ’em up with this episode of Kiss the Goat!

  Once again, the doors to your Online Shrine to Satanic Cinema swing open wide! Your High Priest and Priestess, X & Cootie, bring forth an offering of a relatively obscure Italian thriller called All the Colors of the Dark for your enjoyment. Will Edwige Fenech and Nieves Navarro escape the clutches of a horrible Satanic cult? More importantly, will they keep their clothes on? Will you be able to keep your pants on when Chef Al reveals an entire luncheon based on this movie? He calls it All the Colors of the Lunch, and it is amazing. Spoilers! An exorcism! Bad language! And hang out for the whole episode to find out how Matthew Tangen completely changed the originally planned ending! Stick it in your earholes and let your brain hear and understand! Join the Kiss the Goat Facebook group for the unedited, subtitled version of this episode’s exorcism. Visit www.kissthegoat.com for Chef Al’s full recipes and a picture of the luncheon. Great googly moogly, this show has it all! Let Grandma listen! You know. If she’s into that shit.

Welcome back to the Online Shrine of Satanic Cinema as Cootie, X, and Chef Al take a maggot-filled gander at Lucio Fulci’s absurd classic, City of the Living Dead. Dead priests! Demon zombie ghoul things! Christopher George! What else could you possibly ask for from a movie? [please don’t say logic please don’t say logic please don’t say logic] Also on this episode, fancy people perform an exorcism on Boss Nass, Chef Al actually says the word, “thalamus,” and, surprise of all surprises, Cootie and X have been hitting the rum. How does City of the Living Dead perform during Three Questions? What amazing queries did the listeners send in for Ask the Goat? What horrible song will Drunken X sing at the least appropriate time? The only way to find is to unctuously slither this show into your earholes, which are on the sides of your face, like flames. DUNWICH OR BUST!  

It’s the crossover episode you didn’t know you wanted (and still might not)! Cootie and X join Cort and Matt for a Cinema PSYOPS/Kiss the Goat musical orgy of bad puns and adult situations! It is heresy, and we will not recant! For this momentous occasion, the gang takes a look at Alucarda, a crazy South American movie full of bloody nuns, uninspired lesbian sex, and renouncing of the Church and the Holy Mother. Listen to it now! Listen to it again three days later! Throw your phone into the air while it’s playing and celebrate Ascension Day! What would Jesus do? We don’t know. But everyone else needs to roll the stone away and insert this very special podcast into your ear tombs!