In recent years, “narcissist” has become one of the most overused labels in our cultural vocabulary. From social media to relationship advice, it seems everyone knows—or has dated—a narcissist. But what lies beneath this growing obsession? Host Dorcas Matowe invites listeners to reflect on the relational patterns and emotional wounds that draw us to people we later call narcissists. She unpacks how projection, unmet needs, and blurred boundaries can keep us stuck in painful dynamics—and how turning the mirror inward can lead to healing, accountability, and growth.This is not an episode about diagnosing others—it’s about reclaiming your power by understanding your role in the relationships you create.
We all tell ourselves stories — about who we are, what we do, and why. These narratives give meaning to our experiences but can also quietly limit us. In this episode, Dorcas explores the life stories we craft to protect ourselves and make sense of our world. What happens when the story that once served us starts holding us back? Using her own narrative, “I’m busy,” Dorcas reflects on how certain self-stories become defense mechanisms, shaping how we connect, love, and live.
When someone asks, “So, how would you describe yourself?”—what comes to mind first? Do you lead with your job, your personality, your family role, or the things you value most? In this episode, we explore the many ways people choose to present themselves and what those choices reveal about identity, self-perception, and belonging. Through reflection and real stories, we’ll uncover how the words we use to define ourselves shape not only how others see us, but also how we see ourselves.
Our family histories shape more of who we are than we often realize. In this episode, I demonstrate how to create a genogram—a powerful tool that visually maps out your family tree, patterns, and relationships. More than names and dates, a genogram reveals stories, dynamics, and connections that help us understand how we came to be. Join me as we explore how this simple yet insightful exercise can uncover hidden influences, strengthen self-awareness, and open the door to healing and growth
Our names are often the first stories told about us. They carry history, culture, family hopes, and sometimes expectations we never chose. In this episode, we explore the names we were given, what they signify for us, and how they shape our sense of identity.
In this inspiring episode, I sit down with Dr. Franklin Brewer, a vibrant 91-year-old who has defied the odds and refused to become a statistic of loneliness in old age. He shares how his unwavering faith has been the anchor for a life rich with purpose, connection, and joy. From his daily practices to his outlook on relationships and community, his story is a testament to the power of belief and consistency. Whether you’re young or in your supposedly golden years, this conversation will leave you feeling uplifted and inspired to live fully at any age.
Website: https://www.franklin-brewer.com/index.html
In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked but powerful role of apologizing in relationships. Whether between partners, friends, siblings, or colleagues, a sincere apology can repair trust, deepen connection, and create space for healing. Dr. Dorcas andTaffy unpack what makes an apology meaningful, why some people struggle to say "I'm sorry," and how avoiding accountability can quietly damage relationships over time. Tune in for real-life examples, expert insights, and practical tools for offering — and receiving — heartfelt apologies that foster emotional closeness and mutual respect.
In this mother-daughter episode, Dr. Dorcas sits down with her mother Margaret to explore the beautiful, enduring friendships Margaret has had that have stood the test of time. From laughter-filled memories to quiet acts of loyalty, they unpack the values, habits, and unspoken rules that helped sustain these connections through decades of life’s ups and downs. Whether you're reflecting on your own friendships or curious about how lasting bonds are built, this episode offers insight, nostalgia, and timeless wisdom.
Friendships evolve—through seasons of joy, loss, transition, and growth. In this episode, we unpack how friendships shift over time, the difference between situational and soul-level connections, and how to keep meaningful relationships strong.
Have you ever wondered how you took on a specific role in your family? Were you the peacemaker, the comedian, the good child, the ignored child? Join Dr. Dorcas and cohost Taffy as they begin to break down some of these family roles.
What do simmering sauces and strong relationships have in common? Dr. Nicole says—everything! In this informative episode, we chat about why couples who cook together stay together. From kitchen communication skills to family recipes, Dr. Nicole shares why the stovetop might just be the new date spot. Grab your aprons and your partner—it’s time to spice things up in and out of the kitchen!
In this episode, I sit down with my mother for an intimate conversation about motherhood—what it has meant to her, how it has shaped her, and the lessons she’s gathered through the years. From the joys to the challenges, we explore her honest reflection. It’s a rare glimpse into her perspective and a meaningful reminder of the value of short yet meaningful conversations about intergenerational values.
Episode Summary
In this powerful episode, we welcome Dr.Michelle Pledger, an educator, speaker, and advocate whose work centers on culturally responsive living and teaching. Michelle shares how integrating mindfulness into daily life and classroom practice can deepen cultural awareness, foster genuine connections, and create spaces where all identities are honored.
As the Founder of Living for Liberation and Director of Liberation at the High Tech High Graduate School of Education, Dr. Pledger shares what it means to truly center liberation in education. From disrupting systemic inequities to designing culturally responsive learning environments, her insights challenge us all to rethink the purpose of education.
We also discuss her new book, LIBERATE! Pocket-Sized Paradigms for Liberatory Learning, and how educators can take practical steps toward creating affirming, justice-centered classrooms.
What We Cover
00:00 – Welcome + introduction to Dr. Pledger
02:26 – Turning pain into purpose
03:23 – The healing power of dancing and movement
10:26 – “Sometimes I just do things just to see if I can”
30.23 – How to partner with Michelle
30:48– Highlights from LIBERATE! and how educators can use it
31:05 – Subscribe to Liberation Love Letter31:17 – Anchor, Breathe, Check-in, Do It
Resources & Links
Dr. Michelle Pledger’s Book: LIBERATE! Pocket-Sized Paradigms for Liberatory Learning → https://michellepledger.com/books-%26-resources
Listen to Dr. Pledger’s Podcast: The U&U Podcast: Unearthing & Uplifting
→ https://michellepledger.com/the-u%26u-podcast
Learn More About Living for Liberation:
→ https://michellepledger.comStay Connected
Follow us on Instagram: @joymeetspainpodcast
Website: https://www.joymeetspain.com/
Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcastsor Spotify!
In this heartwarming episode, Dr. Dorcas and cohost Taffy take a joyful stroll down memory lane as they share some of their most cherished family moments. From spontaneous laughter to traditions that shaped their childhoods, they reflect on the people, places, and experiences that brought them joy and connection. Join us for a feel-good conversation filled with love, laughter, and the beauty of family bonds—big and small.
Guest Host: Ms. Taffy, a health and fitness enthusiast currently based in Germany.
Description:
Secrets have a way of unraveling, and when infidelity is exposed within a family, the impact can be profound and far-reaching. In this episode, we dive into the emotional, psychological, and relational fallout of secret affairs—how they shape trust, redefine relationships, and leave lasting scars. Join us as we explore real stories, expert insights, and the complex dynamics that make family betrayal one of the most painful secrets to uncover.
06:07: Why do people have affairs?
16:57: Stop blaming the child
20:08: Technology and access
26:03: Emotional impact
29:49: Can you forgive?
34:40: Call to action
Resource:
https://chadie.org/2024/12/11/the-real-impact-of-infidelity-on-children-and-society/
Every family has its secrets—some whispered through generations, others buried so deep they threaten to stay hidden forever. In this episode, we explore the impact of family secrets on relationships, identity, and healing. From long-lost relatives to hidden pasts, we dive into the stories that shape us, the truths we fear, and the freedom that comes with breaking the silence. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation on the power of honesty, reconciliation, and the courage to face the past.
In honor of Black History Month, this episode of Joy Meets Pain shines a spotlight on remarkable Black individuals across the globe—leaders, innovators, and advocates whose words and actions have left a lasting impact. From groundbreaking entrepreneurs in Africa to athletes and activists using their platforms for change, I’m celebrating the people who inspire me and sharing their powerful stories. Join me as we honor their contributions, resilience, and influence.
In this episode, Dr. Matowe goes beyond the clichés to explore the deeper, more complex facets of love—self-love, friendship, family bonds, and the quiet, everyday acts that define true connection. How do we express love in ways that truly matter? Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, cherishing time alone, or questioning the meaning of it all, this conversation will leave you with a richer understanding of love in all its forms.
In Part 2 of Love Without a Price Tag, I continue my conversation with the Indian couple from episode 7 and invite my mother to share her insights on the tradition of bride price. You can actively participate by completing the one-question poll on YouTube.
In Part 1 of this 2 part episode, Dr. Dorcas Matowe is joined by an inspiring Indian couple who chose to redefine what marriage means by following their hearts over tradition.
Tune in to Part 2, Episode 8 as we explore how the couple broke the of tradition of the dowry system, which led to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.