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Joel Reads Bible
joelreadsbible
55 episodes
1 day ago
I’m reading Bible so you don’t have to! 🙃 Get episodes earlier on YouTube! New episodes every Sunday and Wednesday! Are you tired of christians and atheists cherry picking the Bible to make it say whatever they want it to say? Are you tired of hearing "that's out of context"? Well, this is the channel for you! I'm reading the whole Bible, every word, from the first page to the last page, in context! Is God going to reveal him/them/itself to me through it or is it going to read like an incoherent myth? Only time will tell (11+ years if my calculations are correct)! Subscribe!
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Religion & Spirituality
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All content for Joel Reads Bible is the property of joelreadsbible and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
I’m reading Bible so you don’t have to! 🙃 Get episodes earlier on YouTube! New episodes every Sunday and Wednesday! Are you tired of christians and atheists cherry picking the Bible to make it say whatever they want it to say? Are you tired of hearing "that's out of context"? Well, this is the channel for you! I'm reading the whole Bible, every word, from the first page to the last page, in context! Is God going to reveal him/them/itself to me through it or is it going to read like an incoherent myth? Only time will tell (11+ years if my calculations are correct)! Subscribe!
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Religion & Spirituality
Episodes (20/55)
Joel Reads Bible
No Lessons Worth Learning | Genesis RECAP

In this recap, I go over the big stories in Genesis and see if there really is anything we can apply to our lives today or anything which will help us better understand our world. Spoiler alert: meh. The elephant video I mention: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHQU2cqrtZA My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
40 minutes 33 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
You intended evil, God intended different evil | Genesis 50

In this chapter, Jacob dies which ends the story of the Hebrew patriarchs. Then Joseph gives us a window into the will of God and how he undermines free will to do "good" which any idiot observing can see isn't really all that good. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
14 minutes 17 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Jacob spouts boring blessings | Genesis 49

In this chapter, Jacob does WAY more than ONE blessing, proving that Isaac was dicking Esau around. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
17 minutes 11 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Jacob takes Joseph's half Egyptian sons | Genesis 48

In this chapter, Jacob is dying, but he takes some time to claim Joseph's half Egyptian kids as his own. Of course, this results in another firstborn/secondborn debacle as the Biblical writers can't come up with a new idea. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
16 minutes 8 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
God's disaster relief program sucks | Genesis 47

In this chapter, Israel settles in Goshen and the famine rages on. This results (the famine part) in Pharoah owning all of the Egyptians and placing them in indentured servitude aka the GOOD kind of slavery. God's brilliant, life saving plan kinda flubs in the end. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
18 minutes 7 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Jacob/Israel Heads to Egypt (with more names) | Genesis 46

In this chapter, there's a little travel and a whole lot of names. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
11 minutes 3 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Standards are Double or Non-existent | Genesis 31-45 RECAP

My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
30 minutes 20 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
The brother's have some 'splaining to do | Genesis 45

In this chapter, Joseph's brothers return with Benjamin and Joseph finally drops the pretense! Oh, they laugh and cry and Joseph sends his brothers to get Jacob. Once Israel (Jacob) hears about Joseph, he doesn't bother following up on the bloodied dream coat... My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
13 minutes 18 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Judah reiterates most of the previous chapter (eyeroll) | Genesis 44

In this chapter, Joseph's prank wears thin as evidenced by Jodah having to recount verbatim, the conversation he had with Israel/Jacob in chapters before. It's pretty tedious, but we get through it. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
11 minutes 19 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
The boys are back in town (Egypt) | Genesis 43

In this chapter, Judah pressures Jacob/Israel to let them bring Benjamin to Egypt and Israel/Jacob finally relents. When they arrive, Joseph shows that he's his father's son by being a real weepy baby. Then he prepares a lunch which hints at him knowing his brother's more than he should. There's also a subtle moment that I will be recounting in the forthcoming recap video (subscribe)! My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
13 minutes 56 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Joseph pulls a playful prank of his own | Genesis 42

In this chapter, Joseph finally sees his brothers again as they arrive in Egypt to get food. But he's not just going to go all Esau on them and forgive them immediately with a hug, he dicks them around in an effort to scare them AND get to see his full brother Benjamin. Of course, the brothers think they're being punished for Josephs blood that they forgot they didn't spill... My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
15 minutes 35 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Joseph: from zero to hero | Genesis 41

In this chapter, Pharoah has some disturbing dreams and tries to have them interpreted by all the wrong kinds of people. Luckily, his cup bearer remembers Joseph's particular skills and, after hitting the salon, he is sent in to see Pharoah. A quick call to God later and Joseph becomes the second most powerful man in Egypt. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
26 minutes 17 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Dreams DO come true (unfortunately for bakers)! | Genesis 40

In this chapter, Joseph uses his old skills as a dream interpreter to make new friends! My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
12 minutes 24 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Exotic Hebrew man rejects MILF's advances | Genesis 39

In this chapter, Joseph runs is accosted by Potifar's wife because he's just so beautiful. This happens after he's put in charge of everything (but they're really putting God in charge because he's the guy that's doing everything). Joseph is a slave and then a prisoner, yet, he's trusted and given all responsibility. Egyptians, like Christians, don't understand the definition of the word "slave". My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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11 months ago
12 minutes 59 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
R-Rated Hebrew Folk Tale | Genesis 38

In this chapter, I think we're going to continue the story of Joseph, but I'm pleasantly surprised by a wild tale of pulling out and prostitution! Judah is having a hard time keeping his son's alive because they're generally wicked or can't seem to aim their semen correctly. This results in his daughter-in-law tricking him into being her baby daddy by posing as a woman of the night. Since he just got over his late wife, he can't resist her charms. But hey, the best way to get over your wife is to get on top of your daughter-in-law! This highlights a ridiculous double standard. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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12 months ago
15 minutes 44 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
More Biblical Brotherly Love | Genesis 37

In this chapter, we get the account of Jacob which is really all about Joseph. This is the beginning of the Joseph in Egypt saga we all know and love. Joseph is a spoiled brat who tattle-tails and thinks he's better than everyone else. After a couple dreams, his brothers get fed up and sell him into slavery (instead of killing him as is their original plan). Killing people is just a thing these folks consider haphazardly out of jealousy, I guess. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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12 months ago
17 minutes 54 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Bible tortures me with names again | Genesis 36

In this chapter, there's just a bunch of names and a few rants out of sheer frustration. Watch at your own risk. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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12 months ago
12 minutes 50 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
No respect for his wife's dying wish | Genesis 35

In this chapter, Israel/Jacob is sent to do a sacrifice so we can have a quick and boring recap of the same old promise. Dotted in there is a non-payoff of the gods Rachel stole and a short, but dramatic scene of Rachel's death. Jacob then shows his true love for her by disregarding her dying wish. But, to be fair, she's just a woman. Then Rueben sleeps with his dad's property (concubine) and nothing comes of it. Then Israel dies, but they don't make a big deal about it. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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12 months ago
13 minutes 2 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Why bring 400 men for this?! | Genesis 33

In this chapter, Jacob braces himself for Esau's arrival, building up the suspense really well until... he gets a big ole bear hug! How sweet! Then 5 seconds later, Jacob tells Esau to leave. They don't need to spend SO much time together! Then Jacob buys some land and calls it Israel to, I assume, establish a nation. And that's it! Short and sweet! :) My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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1 year ago
11 minutes 48 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
Reasonable Revenge or Ridiculous Racism? | Genesis 34

In this chapter, you can see me wrestle, almost in real time, with a very difficult story. Someone is wronged, but it's hard to know whom or why. Either way, the retaliation is swift and brutal with a healthy dose of trickery. Stay tuned for my recap where I get into verse 29 a bit more than I do here. My links: http://www.joelvanvliet.com

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1 year ago
16 minutes 23 seconds

Joel Reads Bible
I’m reading Bible so you don’t have to! 🙃 Get episodes earlier on YouTube! New episodes every Sunday and Wednesday! Are you tired of christians and atheists cherry picking the Bible to make it say whatever they want it to say? Are you tired of hearing "that's out of context"? Well, this is the channel for you! I'm reading the whole Bible, every word, from the first page to the last page, in context! Is God going to reveal him/them/itself to me through it or is it going to read like an incoherent myth? Only time will tell (11+ years if my calculations are correct)! Subscribe!