PJ had the best time on a recent trip to Waterford but thinks the town might be hiding a dark secret because there were no adults present only teens (though they were doing a bang up job and they ran a tight ship). As PJ is still riding off the high of passing his driving test the lads decide to do a submissions episode based around chaotic car stories. We hear about a driving instructor with a creepy long nail that he used to scratch students with when mistakes were made and a lesbian who risked her life in a Fiat 500 in the middle of the French countryside that has the lads wanting to have the story made into an A24 film.

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The lads kick the episode off by reading out some comments they received from very angry men on Instagram and TikTok and make a plea to the girlies to go and give their dad a hug because the men of Ireland are obviously shooketh. PJ details an encounter with a chaotic B&B owner on a trip to Scotland for his friend's wedding before the boys dive into an episode about celebrity deaths. Both of the lads are in agreement that if they were to pass that people are to only use recent photos that have featured on their Instagram pages when doing the obituary and tagged photos are off limits. Thank you for respecting their wishes.

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Kevin had a 360 moment this week as he went to see Oliver on the West End and PJ questions whether it was actually a 360 moment and Kevin retorts that Dua Lipa confused him by saying 'Did a fully 180, baby' because 180 is only a half turn. Ultimate confusion.

Then the lads discuss a topic that they've wanted to discuss for ages and kind of already have been discussing in part in previous episodes, especially since they watched Dream Academy on Netflix and it's the iconic world of K-pop. From trainees to debuts, icons to a bias, the lads break it all down and leave no light-stick unturned when delving into South Korea's most lucrative export.

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PJ is over the moon as he has just passed his driving test and is now a fully licensed diva. Kevin nearly tips him over the edge emotionally as he surprises him with a thoughtful gift to celebrate the achievement. The theme for the week is inner child and the lads discuss the rise of toys like Labubus, Jellycats and Sonny Angels and whether they're an indicator that people are looking for a playful escape or are looking to heal a past trauma. They also agree that one of the best things about moving away from home is being able to buy whatever cereal you want in the shop and eating it at any tine of day.

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Kevin's absolutely mortified as he's been away on another holiday and he doesn't want people to think he's all notions but he says it's a holiday he couldn't miss as it was the first one with his niece and core memories were made on that trip. The trip reminded him how much he loves Spanish radio which prompts PJ to have a moment of realisation about the pronunciation of a certain Spanish phrase. The theme for the week is chaotic coworkers and the lads read out submissions of people in the workplace who've been acting a bit bonkers.

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The boys had the most amazing trip to Portugal and can't wait to tell you all about it including a spur of the moment date with a boy from The Lebanon which involved fish bones being removed from teeth and a lot of hills. They choose alternative festivals as the theme for the week and spend most of the time discussing the ploughing championships because they'd really love to go to judge the brown bread making competition and Kevin would love to find a farmer for himself. Two Johnnies if you're listening - get in touch!

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It's the 200th episode and the boys can't believe it. What started out as a a fun project that the lads started at their kitchen table six years ago has grown into something that they could never have imagined with a whole community of girlies around the world listening. To celebrate they did a call out for the 'Greatest Girlie Going' - I'm Grand Mam's biggest fan and they selected Sarah from Kinsale in Cork. The boys invited her and her mam to come to London for an all expenses paid trip and they had a scream and then had the chats with Sarah in this episode. Their producer Sadhbh also came along to join in the celebrations and she also has a special surprise for Kevin and PJ to mark this milestone episode.

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In this episode Kevin addresses the bald rumours after receiving a chaotic Instagram message which leaves the boys with many questions including 'who the heck is Jolene?'. The theme for the week is recession indicators resulting in a heated exchange between Kevin and PJ over the ranking of different forms of potatoes.

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The episode starts off with a rant about restaurants who only serve one slice of toast with a breakfast like what's the story there. And don't even get the lads started about the fact that your standard breakfast these days doesn't even include tea or coffee. The lads then talk about the weather as the theme and though they've been told in their research notes that Finland has been voted the happiest place to live for the 8th year in a row despite little hours of sunshine, they struggle to accept it as they don't know anyone from Finland and deduce that they must make a trip there to try the theory out for themselves.

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Kevin is back from Primavera and has a few words that he'd like to share with the organisers regarding the first night as there wasn't a lick of agua to be found anywhere on the grounds after Charli XCX. If there was a Spanish equivalent to Neil Prendeville then Kevin would have spent the next morning on the phone to him giving out. PJ recently attended Six the Musical and has nothing but positive words to say about it and won't stop singing the songs from it either. The lads never end up discussing the theme they had planned as they got too carried away by a more important conversation.

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Kevin has been in full blown FBI mode since someone on Vinted has robbed his trainers and he's threatening that he's going to kidnap her dog. PJ meanwhile has had his heart melted by a French handyman with a penchant for cats who iconically goes by the name Frenchie. For the theme the lads talk about something they're both extremely passionate about; design and aesthetics. They discuss the death of design and the tragedy of stunning form being sacrificed for function and put out a plea to be made the Ireland's official Ministers for Cuntification.

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PJ talks about finally feeling like a part of the ginger community since dyeing his hair orange. Kevin isn't all too obsessed with PJ's hair and Pádraig thinks it's shocking and so him and PJ are going to have a fight near The Spire in Dublin and the video will be uploaded to Patreon apparently. For the theme the lads discuss dupes and counterfeits and they have a PSA for shops which is that they don't need a barista style coffee machine in their shop just for the sake of it. Enough is enough.

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In this episodes the lads spill the tea on the difference between Milano's and Pizza Express and Kevin also opens up about his struggle with mastering the art of the body ripple. PJ was recently at his niece's communion and he couldn't cope with how good all the girlies were at the violin and also the priest was a bit of a skit so the lads decide to talk about communions and confirmations for the theme. Ms Roche Kevin has still not gotten over his Cloud's Veil snub.

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In the last episode of Don't Tell Mam that the lads recorded Kevin mentioned a diva from his youth who used to make everyone line up to give him his birthday presents at his birthday party and if he didn't like the gift he threw it to one side in front of everyone...kind of iconic to be fair to the boy. This prompted the boys to do an episode on BDE - Big Diva Energy - so they did a callout for submissions and they confess that they had a fear that some of the stories were going to be a bit chips on head but the girlies delivered and some of the stories have them howling.

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The year is 2010 and Crystal Swing have flown stateside to perform their hit single 'He Drinks Tequila' on The Ellen Degeneres Show and it all feels like a bit of a fever dream but Kevin can't help but want a pair of Ellen underwear (but his mam won't pay for the customs and shipping). The theme is space travel and the lads talk about the cunty origins of the word astronaut, discuss crazy abduction stories and say how they think it's lousy that they put dogs in space. Poor Laika.

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It's a sad state of affairs this week as PJ broke his couch and Kevin fell asleep whilst kissing a boy. In the wake of the UK Supreme Court’s recent ruling on the legal definition of biological sex, the boys take a step back to explore the long, rich and often overlooked history of trans people. Plus they put together a comeback cheat sheet to shut down tired and transphobic talking points.

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It’s Kevin’s birthday weekend and there’s mischief in the air. PJ discusses spending some lovely time with him mam over Easter and Kevin discusses how hot all the lads are who shop at B&Q. For the theme they do ‘am I the ejit?’ submissions and the lads give their two cents on the girlies’ dilemmas.

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There's a lot of googling happening in this weeks episode but it's all for a good cause as the lads reveal the funniest tribute act names that exist around the globe. For the theme they discuss all the weird and wonderful ways people make money on the internet; from ASMR to muckbangs, the lads are on a mission to find out the most lucrative online career in case the podcast goes tits up.

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It's been a crazy week with Katy Perry and Gayle King headed to space for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than they can and Kevin reckons Pink is raging because she's been training for anti-gravity her whole life. For the theme the lads discuss prison systems and give their two cents on whether or not they think they're in need of reform and they also list all the little things that annoy them that they think people should be locked up behind bars for.

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Today we have something a bit different for you - it’s actually an episode from another podcast that Kevin and PJ were guests on! It’s called ‘Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams’, the podcast brought to you by EuroMillions from the National Lottery. It’s hosted by the brilliant Sarel and it's all about what the lads would do if they won the EuroMillions jackpot - we’re talking £200,000,000! 

You can follow ‘Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams’ on 

YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/ycyfv2fc 

TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/4d9k5457 

Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/ykumd329 

Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/29z8xrme 

Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4ths7ned 

Get that EuroMillions feeling every Friday with brand new episodes. 

Brought to you by EuroMillions from The National Lottery and Acast Creative

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