The one thing that has been most transformative in my healing journey from anorexia has been the ongoing, unfolding and deepening revelation of the love of the Father (God) for me. This revelation is available to every hungry heart. As spiritual truth gets “fleshed out” in our experience of life it heals and transforms us from the inside out. How does this happen? In this podcast I unpack and explore this process and invite you to consider my findings from your own perspective. Your questions and comments are welcome: michelle@michellesparkes.com

I have just received the news that a friend’s niece has passed from medical complications after a long battle with anorexia. My heart breaks…I have no words….for you who loved her…and for she whom you loved. But I want to stand with you in this moment. In silence more than anything. To acknowledge your immense pain and suffering. To acknowledge her immense pain and suffering. To honour the life of she who has passed. She who struggled so strenuously and for so long against such an incredibly difficult dis-ease and insidiously destructive dis-order. I stand with you in acknowledgment…and in solidarity. I grieve with you, and for you, in your loss. I hold onto a hope that I accept you may not feel or even want to entertain in this moment. That death is not the end. That Love never fails. I hold onto that hope for you and for your loved one. Despite all. I stand with you. I see you…but not nearly as well or as compassionately or as helpfully as He who created you and your loved one…He who knows each hair of your head and hers, and every breath that you and she breathed, He who loves you both in a way beyond description. May He fill you with a hope for yourself and for your loved one in a way that seems impossible in the darkness. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

Understanding and experiencing the Love of the Father* has been one of the most profound and significant keys to helping me overcome the fear and striving at the heart of my anorexia. Sinking the roots of my being into this Love helps me manage all the ways anxiety continues to show up in my life today. If this content resonates with you and you would like to explore these ideas further feel free to contact me at: info@michellesparkes.com

*The way I speak of the Father reflects my beliefs and experience from a Judeo-Christian worldview.

Late last year I had a dream that brought home to me in a powerful way the preciousness of each individual life, and fuelled within me a desire to let every individual to know how precious they are, how much they are loved and how much their life matters. May this truth blossom in your heart and lead you to a life that is free and flourishing.
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Freedom is a journey that has no end because it is a state of the heart more than anything else - and we can always be growing in our sense of inner peace and security. I am many years recovered from the bondage and self-hatred of my anorexia but the journey beyond "recovery" into a life that is free and flourishing has been a longer one. And it continues. In this podcast and the last, I want to share a recent experience that illustrates how this journey into freedom has come about for me, how it is progressive in nature and how the inclusion of a spiritual dimension has been a key factor in apprehending the freedom I experience today.
To help clarify what I mean by recovery and freedom : to me recovery means no longer using food and body/weight/shape control to deal with difficult emotions and life's many challenges; freedom goes beyond recovery to incorporate the experience of living with a heart at peace, a healthy acceptance of self and body, no longer striving, driving or bending ones self out of shape to be something one is not or to please others but rather living from a deep core sense of well-BEing.  For more information go to: michellesparkes.com

Freedom is a journey that has no end because it is a state of the heart more than anything else - and we can always be growing in our sense of inner peace and security. I am many years recovered from the bondage and self-hatred of my anorexia but the journey beyond "recovery" into a life that is free and flourishing has been a longer one. And it continues. In this podcast and the next I want to share a recent experience that illustrates how this journey into freedom has come about for me, how it is progressive in nature and how the inclusion of a spiritual dimension has been a key factor in apprehending the freedom I experience today.
To help clarify what I mean by recovery and freedom : to me recovery means no longer using food and body/weight/shape control to deal with difficult emotions and life's many challenges; freedom goes beyond recovery to incorporate the experience of living with a heart at peace, a healthy acceptance of self and body, no longer striving, driving or bending ones self out of shape to be something one is not or to please others but rather living from a deep core sense of well-BEing.  For more information go to: michellesparkes.com

Wherever you are, whatever space you find yourself in, may your heart be encouraged, you are not beyond hope, you are not beyond help. Nothing is impossible with the God who loves you. If you feel exhausted, defeated, hopeless or despairing, I pray you experience His grace reaching in and taking hold of you, lifting you up and out of the miry clay, the stuck places, the hopeless spaces. I pray you experience His truth strengthening your bones, bringing surety to your steps, bringing peace to your heart despite the challenges you face. Hope and help, natural and supernatural. For me the help of the Helper has been the one thing that has made the biggest difference. Again and again. 

No matter how long you’ve been struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, you can get free of the attitudes and behaviours that keep you feeling stuck, hopeless and despairing. You can get off the food and weight control treadmill and recover your life. Hear the stories of four women experiencing this transformation in remarkably short periods of time. If you are ready take action, reach out: michellesparkes.com

Chelsea, 19, struggled with anorexia in her mid teens followed by a period of binge-eating and purging, which is not an uncommon experience in the recovery process from anorexia. In this podcast she speaks with Michelle about recovery, finding her way back to balance and discovering more peace and self acceptance. “Finding balance” Chelsea says “has been such a beautiful journey and not just in the sense that I have more peace with myself, I actually feel like I am more myself.” This is part 2 of a 2 part interview.

Chelsea, 19, struggled with anorexia in her mid teens followed by a period of binge-eating and purging, which is not an uncommon experience in the recovery process from anorexia. In this podcast she speaks with Michelle about recovery, finding her way back to balance and discovering more peace and self acceptance. “Finding balance” Chelsea says “has been such a beautiful journey and not just in the sense that I have more peace with myself, I actually feel like I am more myself.” This is part 1 of a 2 part interview.

Jeanne, 51, has struggled with disordered eating for decades. In this podcast she talks with Michelle Sparkes about finding hope and freedom from behaviors she thought she would have to live with. You can watch a video of the interview here : https://youtu.be/wZaNw_LzJdM info@michellesparkes.com

Freda, 38, has struggled with anorexia and disordered eating for 19 years. In this podcast she talks about the process of finding freedom from the obsessive thoughts and rules that circumscribed her life until recently. You can watch a video of the interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMV-qqqlXs info@michellesparkes.com

Kate is a 42 year old mother of two who struggled for decades with restrictive eating and over-exercise. In this podcast she talks with Michelle about discovering a sense of freedom that she says is “hard to put into words unless you experience it – it’s just a sigh of relief that overwhelms you.” This is Kate’s story. For more information visit michellesparkes.com

The fear that drives us down the scales and into the self-destructive behaviours characteristic of anorexia and other eating disorders can grow into a terror that is difficult to articulate. I believe there is a spiritual dimension to this fear, that it grows from the seeds of lies believed in the crucible of life experience that lead us to view ourselves as deficient and defective, not good enough and needing to “be different” or to “do more” in order to shore up the acceptance, love, security or support we crave. In this podcast I explore the spiritual dimension of this fear and comment on what I have found helpful in my own experience of overcoming this fear.My hope is that this may be helpful to the person battling fear right now in the midst of their eating disorder or to that one who has journeyed beyond disordered eating behaviours but finds old fears re-emerging in present circumstances. “Perfect (unconditional) love drives out fear” and “he who fears has not yet been made perfect in love”…we are all on this journey.

I believe at the heart of an eating disorder lies a deep-seated hunger for acceptance and security. How we see our “self” and what we believe about our worth, value and entitlement (to life, nurture and good things) are critical issues in both the development of, and recovery from, an eating disorder. In this podcast I share some thoughts about this spiritual dimension. I welcome your feedback and questions. michelle@michellesparkes.com

Have you ever felt deeply distressed, inconsolable or highly anxious? Right now in my country we’re grappling with the devastating impact of catastrophic bushfires. Closer to home my dearly loved mum is suffering and in decline. It got me thinking about comfort; it got me thinking about you. When we experience distressing emotions (as we do when we struggle with an eating disorder), we need comfort. Comfort that soothes and settles, that brings peace to our soul and fosters hope for the future.

I got caught in an ocean current on the weekend and it got me thinking how quickly we can go from being in control (“I’m okay”) to being out of control (“I’m in danger”). The slide from disordered or unhealthy (even sub-optimal) eating patterns and behaviours into a full blown eating disorder can happen quickly. What are the warning signs and do you know how close you are to the ‘edge’? Here’s some thoughts for you. Love to hear from you if you have feedback, questions or concerns. michelle@michellesparkes.com

Paralysing fear. Feeling stuck and terrified. Afraid to make a “wrong” decision; afraid to make any decision. Acute anxiety is a major feature of anorexia and something most of us will relate to in some measure. Even when you’re recovered from anorexia (as I am), there are times when situations trigger that old emotional response. So what can we do when we experience paralysing fear? Here are a few thoughts. I welcome your feedback, questions or comments. Contact me here www.michellesparkes.com/support

When we are locked in the self hatred of the eating disorder ‘cage’ we need to experience ourselves as seen, known, understood, worthwhile, valuable, loved. Even when and especially in the midst of our most acute struggles. For me the heart of the Christmas message is about this. The sound quality of this audio is poor and I apologise for that but I believe someone out there needs to hear this message of hope today. Big hugs to you. 

When it comes to communicating around a difficult situation or personal challenge I find the following piece of wisdom most helpful:
“He who seeks good finds goodwill (favour)” Proverbs 11:29
Attitude is everything. When we approach a difficult communication situation with the attitude that we are “seeking good” – to understand the other, to communicate with respect, to take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, to find a good way forward for both parties – we will find “goodwill” or  favour.
Here are 7 simple principals and strategies that expand on this one key idea:

* Seek to understand the other.
* Ask open questions – can you tell me what’s going on for you?
* Listen, re-state (what you’ve heard, is it what was intended), respond
* Use “I” language – don’t blame the other, take responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts and behaviours – when X happened, I felt Y, I would prefer Z – can we talk about this
* Stay open but guard your heart if the other is unable to take responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behaviours
* Remember we are all a work in progress – we all carry within us a world and history that is complex, layered and unseen but we share similar fears, desires and needs
* Treat each other with respect – the way you yourself would like to be treated.

The ‘golden rule’ (seek good; treat each other with respect) never goes out of fashion.