On the morning of September 27, 2006, at Platte Canyon High School in the small town of Bailey, Colorado, everything was going as usual. Taylor Fraser, then 15-years-old and a sophomore, went to school, passed her mother at the front desk, and walked to class just like every other morning before that day. No one could ever have guessed that later that afternoon, 53-year-old Duane Roger Morrison would take seven female students hostage, kill one of them and then himself, and forever change the small town of Bailey, Colorado. As we reflect on the tragic experiences in our lives, we often find that there is the version of us before something extraordinary happens and then the version of us after. Taylor Fraser joins us on this episode to talk about how she’s healing, her thoughts on gun laws, why it’s essential we share our stories, and what inspired her to write and direct ‘Foreward,’ - an audio drama podcast that chronicles one family’s journey after surviving the tragedy of a school shooting. Goodies from this Episode: Listen to Taylor's podcast, "Foreward”, an audio drama podcast that chronicles one family’s story after the tragedy of a school shooting at https://www.forewardpodcast.com Support “Foreward” at https://www.forewardpodcast.com/support Connect with Taylor at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-leigh-fraser-44a83251 Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

Abuse within faith communities is something we hear from our community about a lot. In particular, how abuse and sexual assault in faith communities complicate recovery because our spiritual life becomes tied to the most intimate and terrifying experience of our lives. Where can we find sanctuary following compounded abuse? This episode is a panel discussion on Abuse of Power: How the Church Can Respond. Joining us is Annette Cutino, Director, LEAD.NYC, Boz Tchividjian, Attorney & Founder of GRACE, Dr. Diane Langberg, Psychologist and Author, Drew Hyun, Founder, Hope Church NYC, Jay Stringer, Psychotherapist and Author and Faith Huckel Motter, Co-Founder, Restore NYC. In this conversation, the panelists discuss covert abuse: spiritual, emotional, and overt: physical, sexual, and financial abuses – how abuse hides in plain sight, how to equip faith leaders to address their power and sexual story, and practical steps faith communities can take to protect those they serve, what healing looks like, and what you can do as a victim to fight back and receive justice. We hope you are encouraged by this conversation, and remember, you are not alone.

In this episode, we are joined by one of our good friends and fellow entrepreneur, Nikki Innocent. Nikki is a 2-time TEDx speaker, certified women's leadership coach, diversity, equity & inclusion (DEI) strategist, and the host of "Checkbox Other". Nikki shares with us how she's learned to trust herself enough to take the leap from her corporate career to becoming an entrepreneur. We also talk about the challenges of growing up as a second-generation biracial kid in a home with alcoholism, embracing our other-ness, and learning how to forgive our loved ones, especially when we have to complicated relationships with them. She is so full of joy it is absolutely contagious, and we think you're really going to fall in love with her and her story. Goodies from this Episode: Unlock your full potential and build a life you love through Nikki’s program “Unlock Your Passion” and online community. Learn more at www.nikkiinnocent.com Listen to Nikki's podcast, "Checkbox Other" at https://www.nikkiinnocent.com/podcast/ Follow Nikki's journey at https://www.instagram.com/nikkiinnocent/ Connect with Nikki at https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleinnocent/ Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

The first obstacle we have to overcome as a survivor is understanding what we're surviving. Jessica Dailey's earliest memories are with her father, but it wasn't until she was in middle school that she realized those memories were sexual abuse. In this episode, Jessica shares how she's healing from her abuse, how to break cycles of intergenerational trauma, and why sharing her story so that other survivors can heal is her life's purpose. What's remarkable about Jessica's story is how much she fought for justice to be served against her perpetrators, going to trial as a minor, not once but twice. This interview is powerful, candid and Jessica's bravery is contagious. Trigger warning: Please note we do cover the topic of sexual abuse. Be mindful of yourself and any little ears around you. For healing support and resources, check out our website. Goodies from this Episode: Listen to Jessica's Podcast, "Diamond Mind Radio" at https://www.diamondmindradio.com/ Follow Jessica's journey at https://www.instagram.com/diamondmindradio/ Support Jessica's work at https://tradesofhope.com/order/P2764/?u=jessicadaily&event=P2764 Find support and healing resources at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

In this episode, Chanel Dokun, a certified Life Planner and Relationship Expert trained in Marriage and Family Therapy, joins us. This work is an expression of her journey and the invitation her mother impressed on her – you must find out what you love and do that thing to its fullest. Now she is devoted to supporting other women to clarify their life purpose through her speaking and coaching. We talk about the difficulty of balancing family responsibilities, giving ourselves permission to pursue our purpose, how she realized what her authentic calling is and how we can too. Goodies from this Episode: Unlock your full potential and build a life you love through Chanel's Women of Consequence coaching program and online community. Learn more at www.chaneldokun.com Listen to Chanel's podcast, "Clarifying Your Calling" at https://chaneldokun.com/podcast Download Chanel's Free Resource, "How to Reclaim Your Morning" here: https://chaneldokun.com/reclaimthemorning Follow Chanel's journey at https://www.instagram.com/chanel.dokun/ Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

Welcome to I’ll Go First Season 2! We are so happy you’re here! To kick us off this season I’m finally sharing my personal story and how I’ll Go First was born. My BFF AnnaLynne McCord is a big part of why this community is called “I’ll Go First” so she interviewed me on this episode! (Real talk, I love celebrating other people’s stories, but it was a stretch for me to be interviewed by someone else but I'll go first!) We talk about how I'll Go First was born, my journey of overcoming childhood abuse, growing up with addiction, and what ‘going first’ looks like for me. We also celebrate some I’ll Go First milestones and reveal some new resources we developed for you! Goodies from this Episode: Learn more about me at https://www.jessicaminhas.com Follow my journey at https://instagram.com/jessicaminhas Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

In this episode, AnnaLynne McCord joins us. She is an actress, humanitarian, writer, director, and producer. You may recognize her from 90210, Nip/Tuck, and Power. Oh, and she happens to be my BFF. Our goal on this podcast is to normalize the conversation around topics often stigmatized and silenced in shame and help you take those little steps towards healing. Coping with abuse and PTSD looks different for everyone. For some of us, dissociation helps keep us sane under the worst conditions. In this conversation, Annalynne speaks bravely with courage and determination about her dissociation and splitting experience, how she's endured and is healing from childhood abuse and sexual assaults, and how she's using her story to help others out of their pain. Goodies from this Episode: Join The Love Storm: https://thelovestorm.com/index.html Follow AnnaLynne's adventures at https://instagram.com/theannalynnemccord Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at https://www.illgofirst.com/stories. In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

Megan Evans is a personal stylist, image consultant, wife, adventurer, and invisible illnesses champion. At the tender age of 24 years old and on her way up the ladder as a celebrity stylist in New York City, she was diagnosed with MS. Now, 16 years later, Megan shares how she came to grips with her diagnosis, how she's balancing pursuing her career and managing a chronic invisible illness, and what treatment looks like on her terms. She also gives us tips and tricks for finding our unique style during life's transitions. Goodies from this Episode: Work with Megan: https://www.meganevans.com Follow Megan's adventures: https://www.instagram.com/meganevans Looking for mental health resources and support? Check out our Help page at www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at www.illgofirst.com/stories. In crisis? Text "GO FIRST" to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you! Say "Hi" at hello@illgofirst.com

In honor of Domestic Violence Month, this episode is a recording of a panel I moderated on “Domestic violence in a time of COVID” with the nonprofit Reveal Beauty. We talked about the definition of domestic violence, how to know if you’re in a situation of intimate partner violence, misconceptions, how to support a loved one who may be a victim of domestic violence, resources, and how to take care of ourselves while taking care of others. 
 We are joined with Ileana Aguilar, Community Education Training Specialist, Safe Austin in Austin, Texas; Asa Scott, Associate Director of Clinical Services at the Bowery Missions, in New York City; and Anna Doan, Founder of Reveal Beauty.  
 Goodies from this Episode:  Get involved with Reveal Beauty: https://www.revealbeauty.org/  Get involved with the Bowery Mission: https://www.bowery.org/  Get involved with SAFE Austin: https://www.safeaustin.org/  Looking for mental health resources? Check out: www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text “GO FIRST” to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. 
 Have a suggestion? Don’t be shy! We’d love to hear from you! Say “Hi” at hello@illgofirst.com

Psychotherapist, poet, and writer Minaa B started her Instagram account as a way to share her poetry and musings. As someone who has overcome bullying, self-harm, suicidality, and depression, she wanted to help others heal too. That was before COVID. In the months following the global pandemic, Minaa’s Instagram presence and community have exploded. The message is clear, people are hurting, and people are yearning for a safe community that says, "Me too." In this episode, Minaa and I talk about coming from immigrant families and finding our identities, grieving the deaths of our parents, overcoming bullying, and healing from self-harm. Minaa shares how she has learned to be seen and how she is using her voice so that others may heal too. Goodies from this Episode: Connect with Minaa: https://www.instagram.com/minaa_b/ Read Minaa’s book: Rivers Are Coming: A Collection of Essays And Poems On Healing From Depression and Trauma - https://www.minaab.com/riversarecoming Learn more about Minaa’s work: https://www.minaab.com/ Mental health resources mentioned on the show: NAIMI: https://www.nami.org/help Mental Health Gov: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/ Looking for mental health resources? Check out: www.illgofirst.com/find-help Listen to more episodes at: www.illgofirst.com/stories In crisis? Text “GO FIRST” to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don’t be shy! We’d love to hear from you! Say “Hi” at hello@illgofirst.com

When Ben Ayers was 20 years old, he took $300 and moved from Maine to a remote village in Nepal. He did not know the language but he knew he wanted to support the porters who carry trekker’s climbing gear up and down Mt Everest. That was 23 years ago. Now, at 43, Ben is discovering the next evolution of his purpose, knowing himself. I met Ben when I was 20 years old. He is who inspired me to devote my career to human rights. He showed me that bringing our unique talents and giftings to the social issues we’re passionate about can truly change the world. (It sounds cheesy but it's true.) In this episode, he teaches us what effective human rights work looks like, how knowing ourselves is the most important is the key to unlocking our purpose. Goodies from this Episode: Watch Ben’s film “The Last Honey Hunter”: https://vimeo.com/201695311 Learn more about Ben’s work: https://www.jetbutterflies.com/ Follow Ben’s adventures: https://www.instagram.com/jetbutterflies/ Connect with Ben: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ben-ayers-2271701b3/ In crisis? Text “GO FIRST” to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don’t be shy! We’d love to hear from you! Say “Hi” at hello@illgofirst.com

Listening to Reverend Vahisha Hasan one can’t help but believe we can be more and do more. We know the conversation around race is fragile and charged. In this episode, Reverend Hasan helps us understand how to approach these conversations with grace and strength. She also shares how she found her faith and how faith is the core of social action and dismantling white supremacy. We laughed, we cried, and bonus: we learn how the Care Bears can inspire us to fight for freedom. 
 Goodies from this Episode: 
 Find out more about Transform Network at https://www.transformnetwork.org/vahisha-hasan Books mentioned:  “2019 Lenten Devotional for Dismantling White Supremacy”:https://www.transformnetwork.org/news/2019/2/7/why-i-hope-youll-read-this-2019-lent-devotional-for-dismantling-white-supremacy  Reverend James Cone, “Black Theology Liberation”: https://www.amazon.com/Black-Theology-Liberation-James-Cone/dp/1570758956 Connect with Reverend Hasan at https://www.linkedin.com/in/vahishahasan In crisis? Text “GO FIRST” to 741-741 to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. 
 Have a suggestion? Don’t be shy! We’d love to hear from you! Say “Hi” at hello@illgofirst.com

Cynthia Hellen is the definition of a boss. She’s a serial social entrepreneur. She’s inspirational, ambitious, and stunning. She’s easy to love. On her way to building a future, her fiancé, Ryan, found out he had advanced liver disease. Ryan fought for over 18 months to overcome his diagnosis but it wasn’t enough. At the young age of 30, he passed away. Cynthia speaks candidly about her journey as the daughter of immigrant parents who fled from Peru to America as asylum seekers, being a young caretaker, losing the love of her life, and how she’s learning to celebrate Ryan’s life and legacy. Goodies from this episode:  Connect with Cynthia:   www.cynthiahellen.com Learn more about Oh Hello Liver: https://www.ohhelloliver.org/ Learn more about SMPLCT Lab: https://www.smplctlab.org/ Learn more about the Winning Women Series: https://www.winningwomenseries.com/ Check out more I’ll Go First episodes at: https://www.illgofirst.com/podcast Find support: https://www.illgofirst.com/find-help In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free.  Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We would love to hear from you. Say 'Hi' at hello@illgofirst.com

We have all struggled to answer the questions, “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” Those ‘simple’ questions can feel overwhelming, especially if you come from a culture or home where asking those questions was against the rules. Imani Movva is a psychotherapist and executive and business coach. She joins us in this episode to talk about how she forged her identity independent of harmful social and cultural norms, how to create safety in your life, career, and friendships and how to answer the big question, “Now what?” amid COVID and BLM. Goodies from this episode: Connect with Imani: https://www.linkedin.com/in/imani-movva-71792096/ Check out more I’ll Go First episodes at: https://www.illgofirst.com/podcast In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We would love to hear from you. Say 'Hi' at hello@illgofirst.com

Do you know what makes you happy? Have you ever felt overwhelmed choosing where to eat dinner with friends? What do you want to do with your life? All of these questions have one thing in common - decision making. Little choices like where to eat and big ones like, what makes you happy can be stressful. If this has ever been you, we have good news. You can develop this skill set and create a strategy that’s unique to you.   
 In this week’s episode Sharon Weinberg, Executive Leadership and Business Strategy Coach teaches us how to challenge our assumptions, the motives, and the drives that are getting in the way of our clarity. She helps us build our decision strategy processes, and create our menu of happiness.  
 Goodies from this episode:  
 Connect with Sharon: https://sharonweinberg.com/ 
 In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free.  
 Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We would love to hear from you. Say 'Hi' at hello@illgofirst.com

Erine Gray, Founder of Aunt Bertha, was 17-years-old when his mom suffered an acute neurological illness that left her requiring around the clock care. Ten years later, just as Erine was starting his career, he took on full legal guardianship of her. Rather than being resentful of these new responsibilities, Erine found his purpose; to bring dignity to those receiving social service care. Erine shares with us how he’s made meaning of his story, how he found his purpose (and why he loves his job so much), and how he’s learned to put words to his experiences. Goodies from this episode: Watch Erine's TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nusGQs-qXBY Aunt Bertha makes it easy to find out which either charitable or government programs are in your area. Simply, type in your zip code and we will tell you exactly what programs are in your area, which programs you qualify for, and what steps to take next. Learn more: https://www.auntbertha.com/ Have a nonprofit or social service organization that should join the Aunt Bertha network? Suggest here: https://findhelp.org/find_a_program Find COVID specific support in your community: https://findhelp.org/ Connect with Erine: https://www.linkedin.com/in/basicgray/ In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion for us? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you. Say 'Hi' at hello@illgofirst.com

Dr. Colleen Batchelder is an outspoken advocate against racism and discrimination in the American Church. Her dissertation, “Exvangelical: Why Millennials and Generation Z are Leaving the Constraints of White Evangelicalism” not only raised eyebrows but elicited hate mail from her seminary and community. In this episode we talk about how to cultivate your own faith practices, keeping our identity intact in the face of adversity, social justice in the American church, and standing up for each other’s rights. She is seen by many of her conservative counterparts as scandalous, but to others, she may just be the beacon of light we’ve been looking for. Get involved with LOUD Summit: https://www.loudsummit.com/ Follow Dr. Batchelder on Twitter: https://twitter.com/colleen_batch Read Dr. Batchelder's research, "Exvangelical: Why Millennials and Generation Z are Leaving the Constraints of White Evangelicalism" at: https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/dmin/370/ Connect with Dr. Batchelder on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleenbatchelder/ In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you. Say 'Hi' at hello@illgofirst.com

Obbie West is a 20 veteran of the United States Army, an outspoken sexual violence prevention advocate, an International Spoken Word Artist, and author of a book of poems entitled, “Blossom”. Obbie grew up in a home witnessing his mother endure domestic violence. In this episode, he shares with us how he became who he is today, how he’s learned to define what love means to him, and how we can decide how we want to be loved. Connect with Obbie: https://www.obbiewest.com/contact Learn about Obbie’s advocacy work: https://www.spokenadvocacy.com/about Watch his spoken word poem “The Perpataror’s Perspective” : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAs55SKwAdDzpvMQAaNLHqQ/video Get involved with SHARP (Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention) Education: https://www.preventsexualassault.army.mil/ In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a suggestion? We would love to hear from you! Say ‘Hi’ at hello@illgofirst.com

Merci McKinley is a Veteran Advocate, Military Sexual Trauma, and Dometic Violence Survivor, author, and poet. She speaks candidly about her experience of military sexual assault and domestic violence, fighting for justice against her perpetrators, advocating for justice reform, and what healing has looked like for her. She is a powerful voice for those of us who are working through what we've come through. Merci is a true testament of what it means to be a survivor and teaches us how to live life moving forward. Goodies from this episode: Checkout Merci's books: https://www.amazon.com/Merci-McKinley/e/B01M19LVHU%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share Watch Merci testify on the US Senate Committee on CSpan: https://www.c-span.org/person/?mercimckinley Read Merci's letter to survivors of sexual assault: https://www.servicewomen.org/swan-updates/open-letter-to-mst-survivors-youve-done-nothing-wrong-and-you-have-nothing-to-be-ashamed-of/ In crisis? Text "GOFIRST" to speak with a trained crisis counselor for free 24/7. Have a comment? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you. Say "Hello" at hello@illgofirst.com

Kevin Adler, Founder and CEO of Miracle Messages, a nonprofit reunion service that reconnects people experiencing homelessness with their loved ones. In this episode, he shares the lessons he’s learned from helping over 300 people reconnect with their loved ones, often for the first time in 20 years. He offers step-by-step insights on where to start and what reconciliation looks like in our lives and the lives of our homeless neighbors. Goodies from this episode: Learn about Miracle Messages: https://www.miraclemessages.org/ Volunteer as a Digital Detective or Miracle Friend: https://www.miraclemessages.org/getinvolved Connect with Kevin: http://www.kevinfadler.com/ In crisis? Text GOFIRST to speak with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 for free. Have a comment? Don't be shy! We'd love to hear from you. Say "Hello" at hello@illgofirst.com