In this episode, I chat with Gillian Cockburn, a sober coach who’s been alcohol-free for over five years. Her story is such a powerful example of what’s possible when you decide to question your relationship with alcohol — and choose a different path.
Gillian stopped drinking on May 6th, 2020, after years of knowing something wasn’t quite right. She shared how she used to hide her drinking, even from those closest to her, and how she often felt empty and disconnected in her early 40s. Like so many of us, she was using alcohol to numb uncomfortable feelings and get through the day.
What really helped her turn things around was doing deep thought work and mindset coaching — learning to change the way she thought about herself, her emotions, and alcohol. That shift gave her the tools to maintain her sobriety and create a much more vibrant, peaceful life.
We also talked about how cultural and marketing influences have played such a big role in normalising drinking, especially for women. Gillian grew up in Scotland, where alcohol was part of almost every social gathering, and later found herself influenced by TV shows and media that glamorised wine as a symbol of sophistication or stress relief.
She also pointed out how marketing specifically targets women — positioning alcohol as “Mummy’s little helper” — and how that can make it even harder to step away from drinking in midlife, when so many women are already dealing with identity shifts, hormonal changes, and big life transitions.
One of my favourite parts of our conversation was around mindset shifts. Gillian talked about viewing alcohol as neutral — not good, not bad — and focusing instead on the thoughts and feelings that drive the desire to drink. Letting go of shame and judgement, she said, is what opens the door to true freedom.
When I asked what advice she’d give to someone in early sobriety, she offered some beautiful, simple wisdom:
✨ Pause and take a breath before you decide to drink.
✨ Make a conscious choice, rather than reacting automatically.
✨ And, most importantly, connect with others who get it — you don’t have to do this alone.
You can follow Gillian on Instagram at @GillianSoberCoach and visit her website at www.findingyoucoaching.co.uk for more of her work and resources.
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